The Depression Thread #2

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Do you have medication to help you sleep? Or do you have a CPN that can help? I hope you get some rest soon xxx
No medication, have had some in the past, have never had a cpn, I'm one who has fallen through the cracks, really don't get any help, unless I pay,,can't afford it, but just sometimes, it would be nice to to chat to someone, but I've learnt over the years, no one cares.
 
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No medication, have had some in the past, have never had a cpn, I'm one who has fallen through the cracks, really don't get any help, unless I pay,,can't afford it, but just sometimes, it would be nice to to chat to someone, but I've learnt over the years, no one cares.
I’m here to listen. Are you UK? You can ask your GP to refer you to the Adult MH Team, they will allocate you a CPN and Psychiatrist, they are much better are sorting medications/regular support etc out.
Can you self refer for therapy in your area? Think it’s IAPT? I did have a support worker who was working on exposure therapy for Agrophobia but I wasn’t strong enough at the time to deal with it, then covid happened - and virtually 2 years of not needing a reason not to leave the house made it 10x worse. Luckily my CPN comes to me or via video calls.
Sorry I’ve rambled there, but what I mean is you’re not alone. Ask your GP to refer you and get the support you deserve. Lots of well wishes 💗
 
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@Eeyore147 thank you, you're so kind, my oh has been on about me going to drs, but my dog has issues, so I need to deal with him first x
The last few weeks have been really hard, long story short, we brought a puppy, my other dog would not take to him, every day for 2 months, I hoped it would work, but no, so we made a decision to re-home pup, that broke my heart, and the woman who wanted him has treated us like tit, all I wanted was to see him, I txt her twice, rung her once, then I got threatened with police for harrassing her, I told her to bring it on ( she actually hadn't paid all the money for pup) I was stupid, let my guard down and trusted her, bigger fool me.
 
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@Eeyore147 thank you, you're so kind, my oh has been on about me going to drs, but my dog has issues, so I need to deal with him first x
The last few weeks have been really hard, long story short, we brought a puppy, my other dog would not take to him, every day for 2 months, I hoped it would work, but no, so we made a decision to re-home pup, that broke my heart, and the woman who wanted him has treated us like tit, all I wanted was to see him, I txt her twice, rung her once, then I got threatened with police for harrassing her, I told her to bring it on ( she actually hadn't paid all the money for pup) I was stupid, let my guard down and trusted her, bigger fool me.
I’m so sorry to read about your dog, you poor thing, I can imagine it was a very hard decision. I hope you do manage to work something out and then make sure you work on you too! xx
 
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Does anyone ever feel really, really low after a good day? I’ve had a nice day, seen my Mum & sister and I hardly ever see them. I’ve laughed a lot they’ve really made me forget things for a while. But now their gone I feel really empty and low. Probably more so than I felt before they visited ☹
 
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@Eeyore147 thank you, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, still miss that little guy.
@watermelon sugar yes it's like a massive high, then bang, you're down in the depths, you need time to heal from what you've been through, take care x
 
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Sunday nights are the worst.. trying to remind myself work is never as bad as the Sunday night nerves are.
 
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I’ve spent the whole day today feeling funny, I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel like something bad is about to happen. Can’t tell if it’s my gut feeling or my illness. Really feel like crying too, I think I will try to go to sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Sending much love to all the people on this thread x
Sunday nights are the worst.. trying to remind myself work is never as bad as the Sunday night nerves are.
I know what it feels like, I have this problem too! I hope you are okay, wishing you a good night’s sleep and a non-stressful day at work tomorrow 🤍
 
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Does anyone ever feel really, really low after a good day? I’ve had a nice day, seen my Mum & sister and I hardly ever see them. I’ve laughed a lot they’ve really made me forget things for a while. But now their gone I feel really empty and low. Probably more so than I felt before they visited ☹
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I get it. I feel like that after I spend time with friends and their families, then I go home on my own and just feel empty and like something is missing. It’s like the situation you’re unhappy with seems even more present and the contrast is really hard. And beforehand, you’re focused on whatever it is you’re going to be doing. Afterwards it’s like there’s nothing left. It’s so hard.
 
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Anyone bought flowers yet? 🧡💛

These are on day 8!

View attachment 1276073
No I need to do this after last few days I've had xx

So I'm more of a lurker on tl but I'm in a rut atm!
I suffer with bpd, I've been okay for a couple of years, I have therapy & was happily working thru my issues.

Until a couple of weeks ago when my horse needed the vet as he's getting on & isn't as comfortable as he was. The vet said in no uncertain term that this will more than 80% be his last summer. I'm more than aware that he's older but the thought of this being our last summer has killed me. It's triggered a huge downward fall in my mood & tbh I just don't want to this anymore. I know this seems petty & I should feel privileged to have shared the past 3 years with him. But this horse has saved my life more than a few. He's the keeper of all my secrets, he's my escape from reality on a daily basis. No matter how tit my day, I know when I arrive at the farm he will be there shouting me & happy to see me. I don't remember life before him.

He's the one solid consistent in my life, he's never left me or let me down. I have no family of my own, I have a partner & my son but that's where my family ends. My mother is an alcoholic, father ducked out when I was 3.

I've lived thru alot of trauma in my 30 years of life. I just don't know if this ticking time bomb of loosing my best friend is the cherry on the cake.
3 times last week I found myself a crying mess, crisis team never answered as was busy & so was the text line for samaritans.
I just don't want to anymore
You may not feel it now but trust me you can do it you may not feel it right now. Take it from someone who knows in the last 2 years I've tried suicide 4x I know its not the right move. But I felt just like you did but each time it's failed and I'm still here fighting just like you are. Remember it's okay not to be okay but always be proud how far you've come (easier said then done I know)

Picture I've attached is for anyone who needs to see it ❤

Struggling here. Too many things going on and I can’t cope with anything else.

I cried at the vet yesterday. Not my finest moment. My beautiful dog has to have further surgery on Tuesday and I’m so scared 😔 This is after the emergency one 3 weeks ago.

Feel like I’m shouting at my kids constantly and wish they would just bloody listen. I have no patience and am struggling with rage.
Polly sending you massive hugs remember your kids probably realise your struggling and won't take it to heart. They understand more then you realise. I'm sure your beautiful dog will be fine but it doesn't stop you from worrying I get that hope all goes well tomorrow. Remember your made of strong stuff even if you don't feel like that. Hope you managed to enjoy yourself the other night too ❤❤ x
 

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Experiencing anxiety attack at the moment. I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety but this is something different. My stomach is tied in with my anxiety so I sleep to avoid discomfort. I’m fine when I wake up but the second I go to pick up my phone my anxiety kicks in. I’m getting to feel down over the state of my health. I was a ball of worry for a good hour when I decided to take down my acupuncture mat and lay on it. The acupuncture slippers too which left my feet so bruised last time that I couldn’t walk for two days also helped me calm down enough to write this out. I’m listening to Sarah Wilson “First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A Journey Through Anxiety.” I’ve tried lighter books but I end up falling asleep. It’s all very weird. I want things to calm down. I also caved and took a klonopin. Sorry if this is too off subject I just didn’t see an anxiety thread and depression and anxiety seem to be close mates. Best wishes to everyone in here you all are beautiful people.
 
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This is your morning reminder to brush your teeth, wash your face, drink a glass of water (or squash)

Hope everyone is hanging in there ❤
 
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I’ve decided to bite the bullet and schedule a therapy session. Plucked my courage and called but I can’t get through. So frustrating considering I have an exam today and I’m already a little anxious. I will call again later though, I hope I will be able to figure it out. Sending love to all of you 🤍
Experiencing anxiety attack at the moment. I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety but this is something different. My stomach is tied in with my anxiety so I sleep to avoid discomfort. I’m fine when I wake up but the second I go to pick up my phone my anxiety kicks in. I’m getting to feel down over the state of my health. I was a ball of worry for a good hour when I decided to take down my acupuncture mat and lay on it. The acupuncture slippers too which left my feet so bruised last time that I couldn’t walk for two days also helped me calm down enough to write this out. I’m listening to Sarah Wilson “First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A Journey Through Anxiety.” I’ve tried lighter books but I end up falling asleep. It’s all very weird. I want things to calm down. I also caved and took a klonopin. Sorry if this is too off subject I just didn’t see an anxiety thread and depression and anxiety seem to be close mates. Best wishes to everyone in here you all are beautiful people.
I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety ☹ You say you have been diagnosed with general anxiety, do you get any treatment for it? A good therapist should be able to help you find coping mechanisms for situations like this.
 
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I’ve decided to bite the bullet and schedule a therapy session. Plucked my courage and called but I can’t get through. So frustrating considering I have an exam today and I’m already a little anxious. I will call again later though, I hope I will be able to figure it out. Sending love to all of you 🤍

I’m sorry to hear about your anxiety ☹ You say you have been diagnosed with general anxiety, do you get any treatment for it? A good therapist should be able to help you find coping mechanisms for situations like this.
I’m on medication for anxiety. This sort of episode doesn’t happen all of the time. I’m a big day dreamer and I’ve been trying to break the habit to be more present. Have more conversations in real life and less of them in my head. My breath catched in my chest even as I was writing it out and it’s like someone sounded the alarm bells 😂 I just came back from a peaceful walk outside and was feeling zen if a little sweaty. I did try a homeopathic medicine almost 24 hours ago at a half dose. It could be giving me this attack but it shouldn’t - it was not a delayed release tablet. If the feeling passes in the next couple of days I’ll know to steer clear of that cure. Otherwise, I might have to find someone to speak with. 😅 and thank you for your thoughtful response 🧡🧡🧡
 
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Experiencing anxiety attack at the moment. I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety but this is something different. My stomach is tied in with my anxiety so I sleep to avoid discomfort. I’m fine when I wake up but the second I go to pick up my phone my anxiety kicks in. I’m getting to feel down over the state of my health. I was a ball of worry for a good hour when I decided to take down my acupuncture mat and lay on it. The acupuncture slippers too which left my feet so bruised last time that I couldn’t walk for two days also helped me calm down enough to write this out. I’m listening to Sarah Wilson “First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A Journey Through Anxiety.” I’ve tried lighter books but I end up falling asleep. It’s all very weird. I want things to calm down. I also caved and took a klonopin. Sorry if this is too off subject I just didn’t see an anxiety thread and depression and anxiety seem to be close mates. Best wishes to everyone in here you all are beautiful people.
Me too (re: anxiety attack) right now. Sending love.
I wish I had some advice, but I don’t. I am so sorry ❤

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I woke up after a horrendous dream that my entire family were about to be murdered. Something I think about a lot. Not sure if it’s OCD. and been in tears ever since I woke up. Heart racing. The most awful chest pains. I’ve took some propranolol but it hasn’t made it ease


I still live at home and when I told my mum about it she just half laughed and sighed and said “you just need to calm down”. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all but being told to calm down just makes me feel worse. It upset me so much I’ve brought my dinner to my room and just trying to eat alone whilst stopping myself crying.

My mum currently has cancer, so I do understand how much she’s got on her plate but I feel like a burden. I worry about her a lot and get paranoid that she’s going to become gravely ill. I know I annoy her by asking her all the time but I cant help it.

I’m sorry for posting such a depressing post but I just needed to let it out.
 
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@justheretoread99 Thank you. I’m doing much better right now *knock on wood*. That is a horrible dream 🙁 I’d be upset too. Take your time to calm down, you’ll get there 💜

Am praying for your mums recovery too ❤
 
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