The Chateau Diaries #48 No longer Doing It himself. Just doing everyone else

[purejuice]

I fully agree with you on some of the points you make.
The series had its appeal when it was aired (2006-2009). And in a way it was a good effort to popularise a "green" lifestyle in the UK.
Seems all a bit dated now (not the philosophy, just the way it was filmed).

I live in a place where the locals are off the grid, windmills, solar, own meat, all that, because they don't have the money to do anything else. The first generation of hippies came and went -- the boys, who'd been lying around smoking dope and saying we're gonna be rock stars, to rehab, the girls, who'd been working the all night shifts at the route 666 diner, cooking, cleaning and having babies, to law school. Now really well informed greens with cottage industry tech skills are making a real go of it blogging, selling their patented gizmos on line, and engineering much more friendly solutions than Strawbridge imposes. The whole waterwheel nonsense, please. One more solar panel and the house, kettle, hot water heater, under floor radiant heat, etc., would have been taken care of. Like the pigs, and the outhouse, he did it because he could and it would piss off his wife. There were better composting toilet solutions all over the internet in 2006.

 

[KiKiGee]

"Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

[purejuice]

I live in a place where the locals are off the grid, windmills, solar, own meat, all that, because they don't have the money to do anything else. The first generation of hippies came and went -- the boys, who'd been lying around smoking dope and saying we're gonna be rock stars, to rehab, the girls, who'd been working the all night shifts at the route 666 diner, cooking, cleaning and having babies, to law school. Now really well informed greens with cottage industry tech skills are making a real go of it blogging, selling their patented gizmos on line, and engineering much more friendly solutions than Strawbridge imposes. The whole waterwheel nonsense, please. One more solar panel and the house, kettle, hot water heater, under floor radiant heat, etc., would have been taken care of. Like the pigs, and the outhouse, he did it because he could and it would piss off his wife. There were better composting toilet solutions all over the internet in 2006.

I have to add, INEBG makes clear that Dick would do anything for anybody who let him eat a diet of wine and pure lard. Angel had a tea room. Not an organic squash in sight. I will never forget the glimpse I got on ETTC of his sisters and mother who together could send the Bismarck to the bottom of the sea just by boarding it.

 

[Pekey]

I’m very sorry to hear about your mother. I understand how difficult and painful it must have been for you to see her go through that.

Working with dementia residents can be a challenge at times, their moods can change very quickly but that was usually due to the environment or who was doing hands on care. That’s why calming care and calming environments were so important. I preferred the dementia unit over the rest of the building. The residents were very sweet, more were ambulatory, it was a nice place to work, plus there were cats, which kept me entertained at night.

Having a loved one with dementia is a very different experience. I understand because I watched my grandma go through it. I was young, 12, when she started exhibiting symptoms, and I didn’t understand. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents, as my mom was also a nurse in LTC, and worked second shift. I remember feeling frustrated by the way my grandma behaved. It was much harder on my grandpa, as she was often confused and would become angry about who “this strange man” was in the house. My mom had a really hard time with it, she didn’t talk about it much, but I would catch her breaking down from time to time. My grandma ended up living around 6 or 7 years in a dementia unit.

It’s a very sad disease to watch progress and a helpless feeling. Some days are better than others and you pray the good days will linger longer. You watch for a spark in their eyes, hoping they’ll remember you today and you can talk about a memory. I understood it so much more when I was working on the unit, I wish I could have been that person for my grandma when I was 12.

I‘m sorry for the heartbreak you went through, I’m sorry for anyone who has known it. I’m sorry for the residents who have those moments when they can’t understand why this is happening during windows of clarity.

Its a shocking disease , worst than the heart failure. Mum was so angry all the time and now she is in peace.

 

[Arfarf]

Great insight from all of you with experience in dementia.
My 88 year old mother is my "patient" 4 days a week. ( I cut back my hours at my salon to be her caretaker)
It can be a very rough, exasperating time.
BUT...she still knows who I am!!!
We can look back now and see how her symptoms started a good 10 years ago.
She has been on the strongest dose of Aricept now for many years.
It is sad and frustrating that no real headway has been made in the prevention or treatment for Alzheimer's for the past 20 years really- as millions more will be suffering from this disease by 2030.

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

I have to add, INEBG makes clear that Dick would do anything for anybody who let him eat a diet of wine and pure lard. Angel had a tea room. Not an organic squash in sight. I will never forget the glimpse I got on ETTC of his sisters and mother who together could send the Bismarck to the bottom of the sea just by boarding it.

Angel used to be quite slim then. (Dragon's Den time). Meanwhile the whole "new" Strawbridge family is veering towards an unhealthy BMI. Of course our choice of diet is no one's business, and I know we are not discussing children here. It is, however, up to us adults to set an example for our children with regards to healthy eating habits and good health.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

[

I recertly tried to find this show because I was curious about Dick’s start but could only find parts of the initial episode-thanks to all for discussing it a bit-sounds as if it was interesting

I've just taken a look on YouTube. Lots of episodes on there. Basically ETTCDIY but in the UK and on a smaller scale (even down to a new heating system DS designed). Wierd seeing DS with his 1st wife. Very, very different to AS as Dippy Hippy stated. Must have been great to watch in it's day, but I just get the 'hang on a minute, havn't I seen this before' kinda feeling

 

[wincrasher]

I think there a lot of people out there that believe Philip and Steph are an item. There‘s times I question it, but I tend to sit more in the “they watch Netflix in bed together, drink wine, and fall asleep“ camp, it seems like they’re more playing it up for the camera. Their relationship is a tricky one to analyze. Her and Petherdick played up this ”flirty” image for the camera, one that would appeal to the masses and appeal to his audience, probably made of mostly older women and lot of them bought those two as an item. People see what they want. Although many of us knew, or had a hunch Michael was gay from the get go, he didn’t refute the comments about himself and Steph. It was helping his brand, so why deny it. He was probably worried about losing his more conservative fans and the money they were sending him. In reality, if he’d just been open from the start, he would have found most people really don’t care that much about his sexuality, as that’s not what drew them to the channel to begin with, and it probably would have brought in more money from his LGBTQ fans. Who can say? It’s just how I see it.

On to Philip and Steph and their odd dynamic. Here’s what I see… A 49 year old woman with the mental capacity of a 15 year old, a 24 year old man with the mental capacity of a 15 year old. They live like they are constantly on a shopping spree with Daddy’s credit card. They enjoy sleepovers, makeovers, shopping montages in teenage flicks, being the center of attention, and partying because Mom and Dad are away on a perma-vacation. I get a protective vibe from Philip, like Steph is his responsibility. Steph enjoys his company because he’s non-threatening and loves all the stuff she loves. They bond over ridiculous outfits, Napoleanic furniture, porcelain, linens, silverware and are kindred spirits. I don’t get a sexual vibe from either one of them, in fact they both seem like they’d be quite frigid in bed. Steph tries to be sexy, but always misses the mark, like an actor who lacks any acting skills, “Note to self, research ’how to flirt’”, “Hey Siri, what do sexy people wear?”. She very ‘I’m taking tips from my mom’s Cosmopolitan magazine’. Philip is the same way but in an ill fitted suit and taking tips from ‘Redbook’ and ’Martha Stewart Magazine’. The funny thing is, I don’t think he’s 100% gay, I get the feeling that he morphed into this vision of what Steph wants him to be, like a ‘Talented Mr. Ripley’ situation. She wants a BFF to galavant around Europe with, pretending to be actors in some high society film from the ’40s and ‘50s, just playing make-believe day in and day out. Again, just how I see it.

Now, MPK and Philip being together . Nope, it’s clear they can’t stand each other! That Cadeaux when they filmed together was awkward AF! I was waiting for Philip to strangle Michael. Then when they had to play nice for the camera, making garlic bread, again super uncomfortable to watch. As I said, Philip is protective over Steph, I imagine he saw through Michael’s phony persona and saw the actual habitual manipulator. Besides, Michael clearly likes his boys butch and bronzed.

LOL. While I agree 100% with everything, the best sex can be when you despise the other person. Just sayin'.

 

[Mummy Dearest]

I agree, so spot on Mummie Dearest, You've described the detachment so well. I worked in mental health services in the hospitals and in the community and spent two years working on a dementia unit. You do develop a detachment, to protect yourself, so you don't get damaged by deaths or setbacks yourself and you can remain calm and professional. I carried over the detachment into working in other aspects of mental health services as you have to deal with suicide and drug overdose. I've often been told I don't show my feelings easily as a criticism. I'm sure Stephanie had experiences of death and hides her true feelings. Her parents would have had the same detachment, whatever we may think of them.

I carried over the detachment into everyday life, so I very much understand not showing feelings and emotions. I’ve been told I’m hard to read. My kids often think I’m mad at them, I keep telling them ”this is just how my face looks”, I‘ve also had to explain this to a teacher during conferences. My husband will often ask “what’s wrong?” And I have a keen ability to tune people out. I call it a gift, but it’s very annoying to those around me. I have to remind myself to smile more to counteract my resting witch face. I rarely cry or get angry, unless I’ve held it in for too long. You develop interesting coping mechanisms in this type of work. With Steph, I think her go to was put on a smile and a show, and bounce around the chateau to make the bad feelings go away. She talks about her life, living in the nursing home with enthusiasm like it was a magical experience, but I don’t believe it was at all like that in reality. Being she was young, she probably developed her own way of coping, and it wasn’t healthy. The way she acts, on camera at least, is very robotic. It’s like she forces herself to show emotion. The over the top goodbyes seem like an act, as she says she’s sad, but never actual sadness on her face. There‘s a tone in her voice when she announces someone leaving that sounds like she‘s trying to be sad but comes off a bit cheerful or condescending. I feel like there’s this constant loop in her brain saying “smile through the pain”, if I were to believe that this is her real life personality, but it’s probably more like “smile for the camera”. But I could be giving her way to much credit! Maybe there are people who are really upbeat and positive all the time, I don’t personally know any, but I like to think they’re out there.

 

[CountessPompidoo]

Great insight from all of you with experience in dementia.
My 88 year old mother is my "patient" 4 days a week. ( I cut back my hours at my salon to be her caretaker)
It can be a very rough, exasperating time.
BUT...she still knows who I am!!!
We can look back now and see how her symptoms started a good 10 years ago.
She has been on the strongest dose of Aricept now for many years.
It is sad and frustrating that no real headway has been made in the prevention or treatment for Alzheimer's for the past 20 years really- as millions more will be suffering from this disease by 2030.

You have my utmost respect and sympahy Having experienced dementia with both parents and now my Brother, who is in the early stages, I too am amazed there's no advancement in treatment. One theory is that it's too lucrative for the big pharma's, who knows?
Good Luck with your Mum, I know it's hard, but how lovely she recognises you still. Mine did too, which always amazed and comforted me

Angel used to be quite slim then. (Dragon's Den time). Meanwhile the whole "new" Strawbridge family is veering towards an unhealthy BMI. Of course our choice of diet is no one's business, and I know we are not discussing children here. It is, however, up to us adults to set an example for our children with regards to healthy eating habits and good health.

Agree. DS clearly loves his grub, he researches it, grows it, cooks and eats it (very well I might add). Even appeared on Masterchef (came 2nd I believe??). My Husband is similar. The only problem being that he likes to feed me too and it's diificult to turn down nice food he's been out and shopped for, restaurent visits, glasses of vino, the crisps and peanuts he gets out etc etc.
I'd imagine a similar scenario in the Strawbridge household. I am currently 10lbs over weight !! I must get a grip (as must Hubby).
Perhaps I should hire Marie for month. There's never, ever anything I like that she cooks. Well maybe the vat of hummus, but that's it

 

[Gibson]

I recertly tried to find this show because I was curious about Dick’s start but could only find parts of the initial episode-thanks to all for discussing it a bit-sounds as if it was interesting

He has also been part of a cooking series with his eldest son.
I have met him in Cornwall, very sincere and interesting chap.
Personally like their brand and business sense.
I also enjoy Dick and Angel's new one regarding helping others solve their DIY dilemmas seem a bit more personal and hands on.

I carried over the detachment into everyday life, so I very much understand not showing feelings and emotions. I’ve been told I’m hard to read. My kids often think I’m mad at them, I keep telling them ”this is just how my face looks”, I‘ve also had to explain this to a teacher during conferences. My husband will often ask “what’s wrong?” And I have a keen ability to tune people out. I call it a gift, but it’s very annoying to those around me. I have to remind myself to smile more to counteract my resting witch face. I rarely cry or get angry, unless I’ve held it in for too long. You develop interesting coping mechanisms in this type of work. With Steph, I think her go to was put on a smile and a show, and bounce around the chateau to make the bad feelings go away. She talks about her life, living in the nursing home with enthusiasm like it was a magical experience, but I don’t believe it was at all like that in reality. Being she was young, she probably developed her own way of coping, and it wasn’t healthy. The way she acts, on camera at least, is very robotic. It’s like she forces herself to show emotion. The over the top goodbyes seem like an act, as she says she’s sad, but never actual sadness on her face. There‘s a tone in her voice when she announces someone leaving that sounds like she‘s trying to be sad but comes off a bit cheerful or condescending. I feel like there’s this constant loop in her brain saying “smile through the pain”, if I were to believe that this is her real life personality, but it’s probably more like “smile for the camera”. But I could be giving her way to much credit! Maybe there are people who are really upbeat and positive all the time, I don’t personally know any, but I like to think they’re out there.

I must have the male equivalent then. Many times I just tune out and retain pertinent facts. My teachers used to hate me for it.

 

[wincrasher]

Andrew quoted me €120 per hour or €250 for the double act. This was when they were in Barcelona and now in Paris Danny quoted €130. They seem to be "affordable" because a lot of the gay escorts list €150 per hour. If you have the body of a fitness model, you seem to be able to ask €200. Porn stars might get away with asking even more. Andrew and Danny are handsome but in the gay escort world they are pretty average. They're not body builders and, despite what their profile says, the most important thing is not huge, maybe above average, but not huge. I can tell because I've seen Danny's masturbation video.

Maybe after the spit-roasting video of them with Michael leaks, they can raise their rates.

 

[Gibson]

I don’t dare click on it! I’m already convinced Hulu is spying on me. I’ll be talking about some random thing and a day later I’ll get a commercial for it. I’m going to have to wear a tin foil hat for the next few days so my tv doesn’t scan my brain, who knows what commercials could pop up
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I think the truth is out there.

SJ shows an ancient pillar with religious symbolism and makes fun of it.

Oh, SJ, I sure hope you don't offend any more of your religious fans!
There are already quite a few comments taking offense at SJ disrespecting houses of worship.

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Golf?! She scored a hole in one with that remark. She's on a sticky wicket there or maybe she threw a googly?
I reckon the only golf she plays is at the 19th hole.

 

[Mummy Dearest]

Great insight from all of you with experience in dementia.
My 88 year old mother is my "patient" 4 days a week. ( I cut back my hours at my salon to be her caretaker)
It can be a very rough, exasperating time.
BUT...she still knows who I am!!!
We can look back now and see how her symptoms started a good 10 years ago.
She has been on the strongest dose of Aricept now for many years.
It is sad and frustrating that no real headway has been made in the prevention or treatment for Alzheimer's for the past 20 years really- as millions more will be suffering from this disease by 2030.

It takes very special people to provide this type of care to a parent, I can’t even imagine. I was able to detach. As her child, you can’t form that separation because you’re caring for a loved one. It’s wonderful that she knows who you are! I hope that continues for years to come. It was suspected that my grandma had it much earlier than when she was diagnosed, as it’s a disease that can easily be masked in the early years. Grandma knew how to make it look like just forgetfulness, old age, and the like, in the beginning. It wasn’t until she started forgetting how to do everyday things, like where to put groceries, or not using laundry detergent when washing clothes, putting things in random places when she cleaned. That’s when it started to unmask and something more than “old age” was going on. It’s 2021, you’d sure think there would have been more development in the treatment and more information on what causes it, it seems to based more on theory than anything else.

 

[Espe]

"Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How true. What a bunch. A chamber of horrors! I see there's a fan who also thinks it's "greatful"! Maybe it's Marie posing as a fan!

 

[Gibson]

I live in a place where the locals are off the grid, windmills, solar, own meat, all that, because they don't have the money to do anything else. The first generation of hippies came and went -- the boys, who'd been lying around smoking dope and saying we're gonna be rock stars, to rehab, the girls, who'd been working the all night shifts at the route 666 diner, cooking, cleaning and having babies, to law school. Now really well informed greens with cottage industry tech skills are making a real go of it blogging, selling their patented gizmos on line, and engineering much more friendly solutions than Strawbridge imposes. The whole waterwheel nonsense, please. One more solar panel and the house, kettle, hot water heater, under floor radiant heat, etc., would have been taken care of. Like the pigs, and the outhouse, he did it because he could and it would piss off his wife. There were better composting toilet solutions all over the internet in 2006.

I am not sure those were his motives, to piss off his wife at the time. There has been several 'eco type' series in the UK over the past couple of decades which have seen a shift in public consciousness to a 'make do and mend ' philosophy.
There are also a plethora of alternative explorations of living off the grid and a boom in the grow your own food and permiculture.

Where I think his earlier programme fitted in,was that it really isn't a lifestyle you can just buy. It is trial and error and not easy to live that life. So yes, there may have been better kind of composting toilet available, but thinking about it, the internet boom has only taken off in the last decade. What we have at our fingertips now was not available to all then. Most would have gone to the local library or bought a book. A show which highlighted the pitfalls, was a boon to those who wanted to start but had no idea how to.

 

[Pno]

"I wonder what Andrew's daily rate is for being a "companion"? He is a lovely lad to throw in some cleaning as well." Howling

I am not getting a strange vibe from Philip. I actually think he fantasises about domination by Steph and also being treated like a baby. Surely no man with a hint of masculinity wants to wear a women's blue play suit? I was convinced and am not yet unconvinced that they are in a relationship but the relationship is getting weirder. Cross dressing? I just don't know.

He has cross dressed since day one. Remember Stephanie never had any presents growing up in the Dementia Ward. Now she has a real life doll to dress! And abuse! And to grow tired of playing with! And finally discard!

 

[Espe]

It's her silly little skippy run that really irritates me. Clearly intended to try to. show her childlike joy.

Yes, and on occasions, she actually jumps up and down and claps her hands!

 

[BlackWolf]

"Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Not all the snakes are in a plane...

 

[KiKiGee]

Great insight from all of you with experience in dementia.
My 88 year old mother is my "patient" 4 days a week. ( I cut back my hours at my salon to be her caretaker)
It can be a very rough, exasperating time.
BUT...she still knows who I am!!!
We can look back now and see how her symptoms started a good 10 years ago.
She has been on the strongest dose of Aricept now for many years.
It is sad and frustrating that no real headway has been made in the prevention or treatment for Alzheimer's for the past 20 years really- as millions more will be suffering from this disease by 2030.

You are my hero. I am sending you a dose of . Your mother raised a wonderful, funny and compassionate women. The world could benefit with more people like you.