The Chateau Diaries #38 A faghag, a teabag and a faux handbag walk into a chat ooo

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries Church Of Stephinology
A Faghag ,A Teabag & A Faux Handbag Walk into a Shitoo

Congratulations @Bored Mermaid CC 35.4% vote
Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q


CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day

parwhobble' (19th-century English dialect): to dominate a conversation by talking continuously, without listening to a word from anyone else.

'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus



POST OF THE LAST THREAD
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNER @Gibson


Thursday at 12:34 PM

• #38

Jikki2 said:
Here's the link

Selmar Duin is creating The Dancing Handyman | Patreon
Become a patron of Selmar Duin today: Get access to exclusive content and experiences on the world’s largest membership platform for artists and creators.

www.patreon.com

Fellow Tattlers- we are selling our exclusive services short. We should have levels of access to our exclusive content.

Level one- a mug with the inscription 'Don't rattle a Tattler!' Available for £4

Level two- An exclusive T, with a print of a sewist interpretation. Inscribed 'if you have an 'ist...you get the gist! £10

Level 3- An exclusive handbag, or man pouch (bought in NY) it comes with a TT logo and a lucky penny. £50

Level 4- An exclusive manifest lesson on how to manifest common sense. Ideal for those who are delusional and like to waste money. This is a steal at £80 for a one off session with our resident Common sense Tattlers.

Unlock:

Level 5- Private Tattler lessons on the forum on how to spot a Grifter. In this day and age you can't be to careful with your money. This comes with exclusive sign up rights and you may have an honourable mention as an agent by our resident M @MojoDublin priceless...all enquiries to Tattle life for this exclusive offer. We will know if you're genuine when you sign. Price on application

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Disclaimer: joining Tattle life can seriously affect your sleep. You may become addicted and may watch more vlogs than you intended. Please use the forums wisely for support if this is the case.


Reactions:You, lolander, Marquise de Tandoori and 43 others

'Poll disappeared
Apologies well have to vote at posting 950

Sorry

 

[Jeeves]

@King Kong
"LOL... more like international gay playboy with a penchant for expensive clothes.....the white tennis shoes in his insta post are $550 a pair....and then leaving the tag on his polo blazer is the height of tacky rent boy. His entire demeanor has changed into a smug, I am better than you vibe...I actually used to like him a lot, but after his whine fest over dick and angel he is insufferable. SJ needs to be done with him"

@Madame No
"Well said! Yes, he's all about the label. I don't know who he is trying to fool. He thinks that by buying expensive designer/label attire and accessories he's in another class. Not so! He lacks grace, humility, empathy, and old world manners. He is desperately trying to run away from himself and his family. He's blowing all his money that idiotic patrons feed him. I'm sure he has absolutely no investments or retirement plan in place. Wake up snotty boy, you're not going to be young for long and life's expensive even without the $550 shoes."

Absolutely spot on!
I'm sorry, I cannot hide my intense dislike for Teabag Trotter (and his family). Buying a Polo jacket (with other people's hard earned cash) is akin to trying to make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Trotter is just an old fashioned "spiv."

 

[Gibson]

I am mortified! On the last thread there were a lot of posts about hair transplants for Teabag Trotter and Philip. I am now being targeted by adverts for hair transplants!

 

[Jeeves]

I am mortified! On the last thread there were a lot of posts about hair transplants for Teabag Trotter and Philip. I am now being targeted by adverts for hair transplants!

Perhaps you and Phil could arrange a "BOGOF" deal?

 

[Welsh-chatelaine]

I am mortified! On the last thread there were a lot of posts about hair transplants for Teabag Trotter and Philip. I am now being targeted by adverts for hair transplants!

Just don't mention male incontinence !!

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

thank you to my fellow tatlerists for the great honor ever bestowed upon my reckless snarky a**

you like me you really like me…at my snide remarks…same diff

 

[Milre]

Even Lalanders will have a laugh about this threadname! Congrats!

Phil is 25, then some men start to loose hair, especially when having sex on regular basis(testosterone!)
He can do alot to minimize hairloss:
Sleep with satin pillows,
VitB and D, check hormon status
using special shampoos, but not everyday
not pulling hair tightly back-no strain on skalp in general, so short hair would be better indeed.
No blow-drying, no dying, no straitning
Skip sex

 

[Marten]

From "The return of the prodigal friend - Gifts for Michael".

 

[Bored Mermaid CC]

for anyone with American tv trivia knowledge I pose this question:

is Philip the Oliver of Sh*too?

 

[Gibson]

Summary of last thread:
Trotter returns with a new narrative as a reason for being Awol on YouTube. He has found love and they connected!
Trotter reunited with Steph and her employees as the all descend on Chateau de la Gorce.
From one trip four vlogs:
Steph gets a plaque from YouTube for 100k followers. Potty leaves the Chateau with Ruthie(who will not be seen)
They travel to Boordough (Steph's pronunciation)
Marie kills more flowers as she tries to teach a trained florist Anna, how to go Boohoo or should that be Bo Ho?

Philip snorts his way through another vlog as they get jabbed, make everyone sick by saying how blessed they are to be jabbed in such beautiful surroundings. Philip buys insulting squirrel wine to drink at a wine producing Chateau (insulting oik)

On the wine tasting hosted by Anna and Ed, Philip wears an old blanket, Steph accessorizes with the ever present hot water bottle.
Steph and Trotter get spooked when another human being tries to interact with them...oh wait it's just a child in Philip's old blankey.
Trotter goes to the Shitoo for the Gag show. Yawn.
Much discussion was had about receding hairlines. Speculation on the love interest of Trotter who he says is keeping it private, but plastered all over Instagram. Further discussions of the blind granny/superfans fans who refuse to think he is gay and they are Further encouraged by the delusions of Ma Trotter, who see Steph and Michael as the next coming.
Marie is now in the UK to pick up her grifted car.
Selmar (King for a day) has the biggest delusional surprise for us all as he sets up a Patreon account for a new Shittoo with a ballroom. Tattlers are trying to warn Selmar about his new love interest who he professes to love -Tatyana she has helped him set up his grifting page for idiots who have more money than sense. Watch this space !
The Eurovision song contest set off a lively conversation between Tattlers from around the world. Viva la difference!
Feel free to add anything I may have forgotten.

 

[purejuice]

Fan lists of MP's virtues floor me. I thought he looked eminently bad in the recent La Gorce and other photos, along the lines of Markle in the Oprah interview. There's some kind of Botox or cheek filler side effect that makes your eyes squinty. I thought he was looking much the worse for wear due to extensive renovation with Patreon money of his face. Piggy-eyed.

 

[Gibson]

Just don't mention male incontinence !!

Now I am P'isting myself

Perhaps you and Phil could arrange a "BOGOF" deal?

I have a fine head of hair

Download AdBlocker!

I will!
Also because I mentioned Eurovision, I am now being targeted for Lithuania...with the yellow person on it!
Apologies for going off thread.

thank you to my fellow tatlerists for the great honor ever bestowed upon my reckless snarky a**

you like me you really like me…at my snide remarks…same diff

We do

 

[lyna]

I just had to look... Just haaaaaad to look...

Rachel Booth
5 hours ago
Oh and Stephanie when are you going to invite Dan to chef for you guys he is amazingly talented

Invite? LOL I am sure Dan is just yearning, nay craving, oh hell nay dying, for an invite to come cook for their majesties...



Jimmy Connolly
2 hours ago
Omg! I just keep creamin’ myself with excitement and anticipation.

WTF???
SMDH

 

[Milre]

Tried to set up a wiki for our thread but failed already one the first site. Maybe some of you IT /computer people can try?
In menue down there is Wiki - create new page.... But then I wouldn't know what to do about URL Link?

 

[Alice Strictknickers]

Snarky comment on tonight's CD:




D H
vor 9 Stunden

...as Phillip trans-itions from 2nd fiddle to 3rd wheel.

 

[MojoDublin]

Let’s see how SSB features Philipa on tonight’s vlog

 

[Dippy Hippy]

@King Kong
"LOL... more like international gay playboy with a penchant for expensive clothes.....the white tennis shoes in his insta post are $550 a pair....and then leaving the tag on his polo blazer is the height of tacky rent boy. His entire demeanor has changed into a smug, I am better than you vibe...I actually used to like him a lot, but after his whine fest over dick and angel he is insufferable. SJ needs to be done with him"

@Madame No
"Well said! Yes, he's all about the label. I don't know who he is trying to fool. He thinks that by buying expensive designer/label attire and accessories he's in another class. Not so! He lacks grace, humility, empathy, and old world manners. He is desperately trying to run away from himself and his family. He's blowing all his money that idiotic patrons feed him. I'm sure he has absolutely no investments or retirement plan in place. Wake up snotty boy, you're not going to be young for long and life's expensive even without the $550 shoes."

Absolutely spot on!
I'm sorry, I cannot hide my intense dislike for Teabag Trotter (and his family). Buying a Polo jacket (with other people's hard earned cash) is akin to trying to make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Trotter is just an old fashioned "spiv."

Imagine recommending everyone to eat with solid silver cutlery for their health. I'd like to see him at a food bank or the waiting area of a jobcentre recommending that. Pompous, arrogant and out of touch with the reality for many people. He's like a male Marie Antoinette. Michael Antoinette, playing at being landed gentry.

 

[Hemerocallis]

They travel to Boordough (Steph's pronunciation)

That's what Potts uses to make his bread, isn't it ?
No, wait, he uses boredough.

 

[sammy13]

Snarky comment on tonight's CD:




D H
vor 9 Stunden

...as Phillip trans-itions from 2nd fiddle to 3rd wheel.

Yes...indeed. One day in the not so distant future...after being cruelly eased out...an older, wiser Phillip will realize that Jarvis was simply his ‘Maggie May’.

 

[Marten]

From "The return of the prodigal friend - Gifts for Michael".

For some fans Philip's reason for being at the house can be confusing: is he an employee, a friend, a lover. Is he gay or not? What is his purpose to be there.