The Chateau Diaries #36 All Play, No completed Work makes Lalande a ruin/Money Pit

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries Church Of Stephinology
All Play, No completed Work makes Lalande a guaranteed ruin/Money Pit..
title to long ... shortened to fit
Congratulations @TheWeeDonkey

Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day
Honourable Mention @Gibson Now Resident Q



CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day
'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus


Congratulations to @Gibson

Dear children,
Are we sitting comfortably ? Well, as you can see by this picture, the lady is very comfortable sat on the back of a pig!
Here is her story.
One day the Chatelaine (That's a posh French word for a lazy lady who owns a big Chateau in the middle of nowhere) had been to have her hair especially curled and she was feeling bored and unloved.
All around her, there was music playing. Now normally she was dressed very conservatively(that means she liked to cover up) and sing in Church. She was beloved by everyone when she sang.
Except children she hadn't got a man. She had animals, she was beautiful once and had a talent, but now that talent had gone. What could this poor lady do?
Along came two lesbians (from the island of lesbos) they liked to photograph people without their clothes on.
The Chatelaine, immediately said 'My daddy does that but instead he paints naked ladies and men!'
"I have an idea because i like to blow my own trumpet. I will get naked and blow hard...surely this will attract some attention?"
The two ladies got very excited.
"We should reflect everything going on though, how should i do this?"
"Lets add a lot of farm animals in the mix. The intelligencia, will immediately think it reflects 'Orwellian animal farm' the peasants will just have a filthy mind. Now just sit on the pig, open wide and blow!"

So what is the lesson learned here children ?
Never trust someone who entices you to pose naked with farm animals and never trust a peasant or lesbian photographers with filthy minds.
Also, sadly for the Chatelaine ,her curly hair drooped and she never attracted the right man. All she got was...well that's a tale for another day.


POST OF THE LAST THREAD
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE JOINT WINNERS
@Green Fairy
@chillijam




@Green Fairy
Active Member
Tuesday at 11:16 PM

• #253

BJJ was planting the plants directly into the pots. This is a no-no as there's no drainage and the roots will rot. The ceramic pots are called cachepots. The word cachepot is French from the French verb cacher, meaning "to hide". Cachepots are vase-like containers to aesthetically hide a growing pot holding the plant itself to provide greenery indoors. So you repot the plant into a bigger pot, then place it in the cachepot.

Also what was all that nonsense twirling about in the attic in her red nightie? And taking down ceilings in rooms already done, for the sake of some tatty brown painted beams? She's insane and I hope her patrons call her out because that is just taking the piss with the money they donate. By all means have a little section of the attic showing those beams for posterity, but let's not waste money hiring an expert in the field to do a survey, then possibly destroying some rooms.

And also Dan/Kirsty could you please do some weeding in the fountain beds? It looks terrible.

And I'm speechless about the downstairs loo. Stupid to have put up the chandelier and Venetian mirror but did no-one think to wrap them in something. They're filthy. Good work from Selmar but could he not have contrived to put the fossils stone somewhere else but under the toilet?

Really frustrated with the stupidity of most of tonight's vlog.

All (35) Like (27) Heart (8)


chillijam
Well-known member
Wednesday at 7:46 AM

• #302

Watching, with pain, the manic madness of this latest vlog, I can only applaud Ian the builder who has obviously worked out how to maximise and seriously extend his 'work'. He'll be there for ever given the endless so called treasures that are being found, requiring re-work and re-doing constantly. Fair play Ian

Also, watching a 50 something man wrestle with huge planks on his own, while the 24 yr old baby ponces about doing nothing makes my blood boil. How about a bit of help, or is anything over the weight of a fork too much?

All (35) Like (30) Heart (3) Haha (2)

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

Glad to see a new thread 🪡

 

[Wee Donkey]

I'd like to thank the Academy for choosing my submission..

 

[KiKiGee]

Comments for Selmar's latest flog

THEY THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT YT SENSATION... ?????


Tatyana Valda Belinda Hill
4 hours agoThis makes me smile the biggest smile! I loved watching you open it, darling. xxxxxxxx....So, now you know I wasn't really planning to knit you a hat when I asked for your head measurement some months ago.



1


REPLY

Hide reply


Selmar Duin
35 minutes ago
Yes I though about that. Knit me a head??!!! But did. The most beautiful loving present I have ever received. I am verry proud to wearing it and you as my Queen at my side. Love U beautiful X

Reminder of who she thinks she is. This is her bio on YT...

Tatyana Valda Belinda Hill
36 subscribers
Independent Producer/ Indie TV Presenter/ Content Producer of Television Programing(Factual)

 

[Espe]

I loved watching you open it, darling.

I doubt if they have ever even met!! He was getting emotional when he opened the crown present and had to stop the vlog for a minute. Poor Selmar, he is vulnerable and gullible. Imagine what association with SJ might lead to, and, no doubt, she's encouraging it. I really hope he doesn't end up getting too hurt!

 

[ComtesseRose]

Watched Selmar's vlog. Even on 2x speed it was sleep inducing. I found that Nutty and FRK were quite polite, when they found out that he was recording a vlog, but FRK shoving her whole face in front of the camera was puerile. Matches her mental age I guess...
I said Potts was a tw@ and I stand by that. The way he just went into the kitchen ignoring Selmar, not even a "Hi" or a nod.
I hurt my soul to watch Selmar Sillymar (Thanks Madame No) to over saturate his pastry with flour, and then using a TASSEL to brush the top with egg wash.
I feel for Antoine, he seems so lonely. Only child, being at boarding school and his own mother seems to have no time for him. When he said to Sillymar, "I'll be at X if you need any help.", I thought to myself, I hope he holds on that inherent kindness, because he is surrounded by corrupted adults!
Any Belgians on Tattle? I would have thought that Antoine living in Brussels also would be able to speak Dutch...

 

[FrenchGirl123]

I feel for Antoine, he seems so lonely. Only child, being at boarding school and his own mother seems to have no time for him. When he said to Sillymar, "I'll be at X if you need any help.", I thought to myself, I hope he holds on that inherent kindness, because he is surrounded by corrupted adults!
Any Belgians on Tattle? I would have thought that Antoine living in Brussels also would be able to speak Dutch...

Brussels speaks french and dutch. I understand the majority of Brussels population speaks now french. Even though the 2 languages are Brussels 2 official languages.
"But the study is interesting in more than one way, because it reveals which languages would be spoken at home: 83.7% would use one of the two official languages of the region in 2006, that is to say both: French ( 56.8%), Dutch and French (8.6%), Dutch (7.0%), French with a language other than Dutch (11.3%), or any other foreign language (16 %)" . Source : Étude de Rudi Janssens(Vrije universiteit Brussel) Brussels Studies, n° 13, janvier 2008.

 

[KiKiGee]

David has been located...

 

[Espe]

I would have thought that Antoine living in Brussels also would be able to speak Dutch...

He probably goes to a French speaking school in Belgium or even to a school in France, his mother is French, not Belgian, and his step father, British, so he may not necessarily be exposed to much Flemish in Brussels when he's there, and in the holidays, he's mostly in France. I thought he seemed happy with Selmar and spoke more than he does in SJ's videos, even though Selmar shouldn't really film him unless he had asked Marie beforehand but she seemed surprised. He is a lovely boy but he must be lonely in that chateau.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Suggestion for the glossary: To Ryan something, as in he's Ryaned it - to bodge something, or 'do a Ryan' - to do something stupid, silly

I think some caricatures are in order ... Anyone here good at doing caricatures?

He probably goes to a French speaking school in Belgium or even to a school in France, his mother is French, not Belgian, and his step father, British, so he may not necessarily be exposed to much Flemish in Brussels when he's there, and in the holidays, he's mostly in France. I thought he seemed happy with Selmar and spoke more than he does in SJ's videos, even though Selmar shouldn't really film him unless he had asked Marie beforehand but she seemed surprised. He is a lovely boy but he must be lonely in that chateau.

His facial expressions in SJ's vlogs speak volumes ...

 

[Welsh-chatelaine]

Comments for Selmar's latest flog

THEY THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT YT SENSATION... ?????


Tatyana Valda Belinda Hill
4 hours agoThis makes me smile the biggest smile! I loved watching you open it, darling. xxxxxxxx....So, now you know I wasn't really planning to knit you a hat when I asked for your head measurement some months ago.



1


REPLY

Hide reply

Selmar Duin
35 minutes ago
Yes I though about that. Knit me a head??!!! But did. The most beautiful loving present I have ever received. I am verry proud to wearing it and you as my Queen at my side. Love U beautiful X

Reminder of who she thinks she is. This is her bio on YT...

Tatyana Valda Belinda Hill
36 subscribers
Independent Producer/ Indie TV Presenter/ Content Producer of Television Programing(Factual)

Not sure if that is a recent photo as she is now about 50! An ambitious woman looking for her 15 minutes of fame I fear,

 

[Maple fairy]

My apologies if this has already been discussed but it was new to me today and I thought I would share. Can’t believe the pivot methinks comments from tattlers may have had an effect. Now providing accommodations including food and transportation. Disney inspired! Look out for copyright issues. Disney very protective of intellectual property. Marie W pops up as an expert now we know why she needs a vehicle & why she is not moving until later in the year. They’ve been busy! Any thoughts? Sorry it may have downloaded in the wrong sequence.

Not sure if that is a recent photo as she is now about 50! An ambitious woman looking for her 15 minutes of fame I fear,

As someone mentioned before it really smacks & smells like catfish. Maybe he’s playing a game but he does seem ripe for the pickings!

Why is a subsequent post mixing wit a previous one!

 

[purejuice]

"I collect beautiful things" sounds like something Hannibal Lecter would say.
I was pleased to see Potts draw Stephanie's attention to a crack in the facade of the old wing as a priority which her ancient masonry repairers should mend. His advice about the alignment of the windows for Nati's apartment was very good. That he also was the original digger of automatic irrigation systems for the potager also impressed me. I hope he can persuade her to spend her money on structural repair prior to nightmare caterpillar-infested box parterres.
But the way Potts turned Janssen -- little Master I Don't Soil My Hands With Cooking -- into somebody asking to learn how to make bread was impressive. Maybe Philip will volunteer to keep Potts' starter alive.
Are Selmar and Tatyana performing romance for the voyeurs?
Perhaps.
Is long-distance and not IRL the only way it can be?
Maybe.
Selmar chooses to be alone and says he can only work alone. He's a big boy and I count declaring his love for Tatyana online, and the nuts in the apple pie, and the looking at new real estate, as movements against and away from Lalande. He has correctly interpreted Matt the digger's proposition to site the van on the edge of a precipice.
I just hope he installs a strong predator proof roof on the chicken run before he goes. Maybe he'll take the persecuted mini chickens with him. According to her IG, Tatyana likes chickens, which is nice.

 

[Maple fairy]

I saw this thought it was funny and maybe an alternative explanation for the mysterious water that appears now and again. Volunteers screwing with SJ.

 

[Midnightcowboy]

My apologies if this has already been discussed but it was new to me today and I thought I would share. Can’t believe the pivot methinks comments from tattlers may have had an effect. Now providing accommodations including food and transportation. Disney inspired! Look out for copyright issues. Disney very protective of intellectual property. Marie W pops up as an expert now we know why she needs a vehicle & why she is not moving until later in the year. They’ve been busy! Any thoughts? Sorry it may have downloaded in the wrong sequence.

As someone mentioned before it really smacks & smells like catfish. Maybe he’s playing a game but he does seem ripe for the pickings!

Why is a subsequent post mixing wit a previous

Shouldn't this be bonding?

 

[purejuice]

My apologies if this has already been discussed but it was new to me today and I thought I would share. Can’t believe the pivot methinks comments from tattlers may have had an effect. Now providing accommodations including food and transportation. Disney inspired! Look out for copyright issues. Disney very protective of intellectual property. Marie W pops up as an expert now we know why she needs a vehicle & why she is not moving until later in the year. They’ve been busy! Any thoughts? Sorry it may have downloaded in the wrong sequence.

I literally can't imagine anything more meta than sitting in the Dordogne sewing Disney princess costumes with three other Martians.
Nothing is real to these people.
Note how carefully they stipulate there will be no expert instruction -- you're on your own, with your fellow ninnies as teachers.

 

[Maple fairy]

There is a lot more under Manor but too many for me to put here but they have itineraries listed there no pricing. Must be like cruise ships whereby you choose your excursions with additional fees.
Just had a thought since they are limited in accommodations down from eight to four maybe five. Could it be that they are renting? Could it be the place where SJ & Phillip were for her convalescence that seemed very small though.

 

[purejuice]

There is a lot more under Manor but too many for me to put here but they have itineraries listed there no pricing. Must be like cruise ships whereby you choose your excursions with additional fees.
Just had a thought since they are limited in accommodations down from eight to four maybe five. Could it be that they are renting? Could it be the place where SJ & Phillip were for her convalescence that seemed very small though.

I'd love to have the link for this.
Their website has no offers, only wallpaper.
Still stunned by what some grifters on ETTC called a chateau -- a substandard suburban ranch in some grotty French burb. Ugh.

Lifestyle Events | Manor & Maker

Manor & Maker is here to help you live creatively. Located in a chateau in rural France, we want to help you celebrate your passions in life - artist workshops, becoming a maker, or celebrating life's key moments through lifestyle events.

www.manorandmaker.com

 

[Marten]

From "Antoine and Marie are back".
"...... Thank you also, Stephanie, for being the Aunt to Antoine, doing what Aunts should ..... gently leading him astray ....".

 

[Maple fairy]

I'd love to have the link for this.
Their website has no offers, only wallpaper.
Still stunned by what some grifters on ETTC called a chateau -- a substandard suburban ranch in some grotty French burb. Ugh.

Lifestyle Events | Manor & Maker

Manor & Maker is here to help you live creatively. Located in a chateau in rural France, we want to help you celebrate your passions in life - artist workshops, becoming a maker, or celebrating life's key moments through lifestyle events.

www.manorandmaker.com

I just clicked the bars to the upper right hand side on their page. Sections are there such as Manor, Maker and just clicked on these and a page opened up with content. I just goggled them and the website you referenced popped up.