The Chateau Diaries #34 Every court needs its clowns

[Gibson]

If they read here, they are probably playing it up so to speak. Best guess. On another note, the content of the vlogs is in fail mode in my opinion. I can’t imagine what Sunday’s vlog will be like.

I think we can imagine. It's Chateau bingo time!!
Get your dabbers out Tattlers. Eyes on YouTube for a line of 4. 12 mentions and it's a full house.
Prize...the satisfaction of prediction, or if you're still in lockdown why not treat yourself to a shot of your favourite tipple per word. By the end you won't care about The Shitoo anymore.
We'll start off with a few easy ones.

Mentions of :

Daddy
A snort
Huh huh huh (that's Philip's laugh)
Hahaha haha (At a high pitch is Steph's laugh)
Let's see what's going on here? Steph's phrase when not knowing what's going on.
Burnarrdo...some posh tat
Ohhh...Steph's turn of phrase when she is orgasming over tat.
Coooeeee...Steph in search of workers on the estate.
Marie, you look beautiful...Steph being an insincere biatch
Marie this looks wonderful...see above.
Amazing! Steph acting surprised at things found in the attic.
Emmmiyooos...Steph's pronunciation of the local chazza shop.
Any mention of crappy, pretentious designers...take your pick on that one.
Frame...yes regularly framing some rubbish turd of a painting.
Mummy...or doing an impression of mummy.
Peacock /usually follows Thor around.
Hedgehog...
Any squeal...
Magnificent
Let's find Dan
What's going on in the garden...mummy will be so pleased.

Chin chin/Salut and well done for getting through another vlog

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

For those interested in Stephens kilt .. he said it is called 'for the love of Scotland'. Probably made up by the Scottish society he is/was involved with in Canada.

View attachment 562435

That's not a kilt!
That's an all-girl Catholic school uniform!
He probably just fancies cross-dressing once-in-a-while.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Not to Derail:
Please light a candle for the live chat diva, Michael Morrison (who ruined the live chat with his sad news and stealing SJ's 30million views thunder--thereby successfully making the chat about him again)!

In my culture, we light candles to remember the dead.

 

[Gibson]

Apparently as I don't pay Michael Spielberg as a patron, I should shut up about how ludicrous it is that a guy with cashflow issues, can swan off to Madrid for weeks on end. According to certain fanboys on the Youtube page.

Does that mean that if I don't drive I can't suggest folks drive off that cliff? I'm not blind so can't warn blind folks to not walk out into the M25?

This is the problem with blind devotion.
Whilst I like and enjoy other Chateau vlogs, I am not blind to the begging bowl. If they get monetised on YouTube then I see that as legit. Anything else, well that's their lookout.
Nothing wrong with selling properties if they can't make it. It's called reality.

I don't know these folks and am definitely not invested emotionally in them. Most are running a business and people don't see its transactional. If we happen to get some behind the scenes stuff, that's a bonus. Some owners are more personable than others. Lockdown has meant we have had more time to watch and enjoy or not.

This is where their community of lalanders fall down. They see it as family, when really it's not. They're invested in a journey, but in reality where is that journey leading them? It is leading to a possibility of paying someone else to live a dream that they will never partake in. Fair enough if they don't expect anything.

Others are promoting their renovations as a business for bed and breakfast...following Dick and Angel's tried and tested formula .

Others put on a sob story to manifest money. If they fall for that one, well that's their look out.

 

[Richard Blake]

Why is so difficult to make a schedule? They know when people are coming to "work" on specific projects, isn't part of Natty's job to keep track of all the comings and goings?....get a white board as suggested and write it down. Give Phillip the damn camera to film since that's what your paying him for. A little organization may eliminate 10 hours of editing one 30 minute vlog (still don't get that one). Give people proper job responsibilities and expectations since you essentially have two paid personal assistants. If multiple vlogs a week is too much, get rid of cadeaux since so many folks hate it and really only want to see your progress on the chateau.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

I'm sure Selmar will do the right thing. Anyway, he didn't look keen. Bully boy Matt was just trying to make fun of him in that segment.

I felt uncomfortable watching this segment with Dan, Matt and Selmar.

It was like watching bullies at school with their favorite target. A target whose first language is not english and so, not really able to grasp everything and protect himself.

Worse of all for me was the chatelaine's hysterical laugh hidden behind her camera.

It was not a nice scene (but she kept it in the editing).

 

[Gibson]

Can you imagine the snorts when he *ahem* 'reaches his 'peak' ?

Sadly, with the pictures we have seen we don't have to imagine that much.
The Diary of an allergic Dutch man. His adventures in LaLande.
Innocent little Philip with encouragement from his mum, set off on a great adventure.
Packing his precious Beanie, two pairs of pants and his beloved waistcoat in his knotted hankie. He arrived at LaLande one summer day and chanced upon Steph Vlogging for the GAG show.
Their eyes met across the table full of tat and his nostrils widened gently as he let out a tiny snort.
Things rapidly moved on as Philip made sure he was invaluable as a member of the lalande in crowd. One day, he thought, one day I will be a Prince...all of this was said as he posed in front of the mirror and gently tucked himself in. Doing his best Mick Jagger pose as he undid his shirt to his navel, he pranced down to the kitchen.
Gently grabbing the camera, he snorted in delight and began to quiver in anticipation as he filmed his very first Vlog. He made sure he was heard...

 

[FrenchGirl123]

I LOVE their YT comments !

From the latest vlog :



Not sure she should take this as a compliment...

stephen Mar
13 hours ago
Marie - you look so pretty cooking in the kitchen.

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Philip should think....
Marilyn T.
13 hours ago

What is Philip’s role at LeLand?

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Hide 2 replies

Mariel Calder
6 hours ago
Philip is an assistant and companion to Stephanie. He helps with filming and some editing, with sewing, interior design ideas and a variety of creative pursuits. He is an invaluable addition to LaLande. My opinions only. He may have a formal job title though I don't know it.

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DIEGO SANTANA
4 hours ago (edited)
His role is Lady-in-waiting. I mean it in a positive lovely way. He has that feel of a court worker

REPLY

 

[Clara Burnett]

This just dawned on me: even if we assume SJ is hoping to live up to her promise (I know that’s a stretch) and provide all her top tier patrons with a stay at her HMN at a reduced but in fact overpriced rate, how is she going to control the narrative? During the pandemic it was easy enough to just lie uncontrollably about the progress of projects and even then she f’ed up the timeline more than once. What if the patrons actually come and take pictures, or even worse, videos that they post online? Imagine the amount of fact checking she has to go through before posting another vlog. She thinks she’s “working” hard now, boy, does she have another thing coming. It’s unsustainable to put it mildly. It’s going to be all over the place, not just one naughty picture in the chapel.
She told us Elusive N is soon to arrive at the HMN. He better straighten her out because things are going to get nasty soon, at a disproportionate speed, I suspect.

 

[Heathcliffe]

Goat Boy is a fun little troll... I did watch the Lalande Vlog about the secret in the loft, not terribly impressed...of course some parts of a house from the 1600 will have traces of the 1600...crudely drawn flowers,ok. One part of the vlog stood out to me though, when our princess served the sticky cake to her minions and declared "Cheers to when your vlogs reach 30 million views!" That is like Pavarotti turning to the choir after performance and saying, "Cin cin to when you all draw millions to football stadiums to hear your voices!" I must say, we giggled on the sofa at this point of viewing. Selmar can't film, but some bored housewives watch his vlogs as they see him at Lalande. If he left Lalande, his vlogs would slowly die. Marie is supported by some of Stephanie's fans out of pity I think, and some genuinly hope to see some nice flower decorations being produced. She waffles on about inspiring people (?) and is definitely believing the hype now when she says she wants a chateau...oh my. Again, as soon as she leaves Lalande, she will be surprised to find that people will stop watching, and that paying rent in an appartment is probably a high enough goal. She is very ordinary, still expects extraordinary life. Stephanie has looks, charisma, presenting skills, a nice voice, and would step over corpses to get what she wants. Selmar and Marie do not have any of this, and people are only vaguely interested in them as they live in Lalande Land. I think Stephanie made that comment on purpose. I am sure she knows it will trigger them to compare, and perhaps see the ridiculousness in that vision. She was showing muscle, hiding it behind a sweet comment, she knows it will never happen. Phillip will be ok as long as he basks in her glory and vlog, if he ever starts his own he is on a slippery slope to disappointment. He will have a good life as long as he is happy to play the supporting act, and I think he is...

 

[Gibson]

I wonder if she can reframe this? Very appropriate and it is a study in blue-I think it would look suitable next to any of Derek's paintings. I am thinking of a nice creamy frame with a hint of blue undertones.

 

[Patriciarella]

You're talking about this video? Where Oliver rather sincerely says he "we bow to your grace and judgement Tomaz"? Let's definitely be clear that we can agree to disagree that Tomaz was a little creep without invoking Clara, but they were super good sports about his vodka and hammering spa built from things he harvested from around the house. Same with his "pool". Thank god he's gone.

I liked watching Thomas improve La La Laundry, it is the only project you saw completed start to finish that was done without other people’s money.

 

[Clara Burnett]

All of them saying this seems strange… she wants time off and if they all say this she will now be able to say that she will be only producing one or two videos per week.
P.S. When will those two nobodies from Canada or wherever the hell they are from be gone? Interesting that she mentioned that horrid dress.

Even before she started to vlog, she was always hiding in her room all day. She’s just using the vlog as an excuse not to have to interact on a personal level. They all think they know her and are close to her, yet they complain that ‘her works takes her away from us too much”. I can asure you she wants it to stay that way and it’s not the work that is keeping her away from the rest, it’s her incapability to actually feel something genuin for anybody but herself.

 

[Gibson]

Just watched the Honfleur vlog (waiting for a vital part, so on an early break) I laughed out loud when Philip asked Anna, about the wallpaper wondering if they could reproduce it or had someone got the copyright. I have expected Michael to pop up with a cry vlog saying he had.

 

[MojoDublin]

She's not the only one to play with gullible people.

That's how MPK has explained to his fans why he's still in Spain and nothing is done at the cottage.

Unbelievable !


Run RunRun
1 day ago
Michael already said he's waiting on more fundng & some things he cant get yet in France. Sold out. Pay attention.



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Run RunRun
1 day ago
He already said he was building more funding & cant get yet some supplies he needs. Lockdown affects budiness supply routes.So

he took a break.



7



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Dear patron

Dropping in from my soujourn
In Madrid

As the artists in residence during COVID... supplies WERE available - however not enough of you were supporting me as I needed to accommodate the speed of the build .

That’s entirely on you - dear patron as the go fund me had dwindled ( new equipment for blogging etc and travel expenses ) Sean and pa Petherick were 450-600 a week so it went super fast - cash flow was an issue and most of patrons are only 5 euros


Now the pandemic has decimated the supply of any diy - and wood supply I’ve barley enough cash to pay for weekends only at the hotel

Consider yourself fortunate I’m ok with air B and B midweek
I should just about surviving on limited funds till JULY when I return from
chit ooo lalande - and I’ll start another round of go fund me .

Your queries need to stop in relation to my location

I’ll announce my return ..

stay tuned


FYI
Trying to build my profile on insta
If you need something to do - download and subscribe

Yours
Micheal and my third eye
Pom-pouttoilis

 

[Espe]

Selmar could be the poster child (stoner) for a pot grow op

Selmar seems to be regressing. CLL may provide a haven for people like him and Marie but it certainly does them no good at all, except perhaps financially, through encouraging them to copy SJ's unethical grifting. Looks like Selmar may now earn some cash from his snail-like vlogs. He has a good heart but staying at the Chateau for too long just corrupts everyone eventually and is also turning him into more of a laughable fairytale character.

Why did Selmar think people would find it interesting to see him blowing up balloons and why didn't he open the door and let that swallow out?

How can SJ believe that those gilt reproduction frames suit DJ's paintings? Both the frames and the paintings are awful but if she must frame them, why not use a simple plain, modern frame?

That awful black glitter dress she was sent had a label "Kim & Co" on it. It's a Canadian brand with really cheap-looking polyester clothes that are sold on the QVC shopping channel, it hardly fits in with the exclusive, very expensive brands she has in her wardrobe! Then again, she seems to have quite eclectic tastes looking at the stuff she wears. It's very strange that the gift givers don't seem to realise just how many thousands she has spent on herself, and how the cheaper trash that they send, (often, no doubt, paying more for the postage than it is worth), differs from that of things she has purchased herself! It was amusing when she pointed out that the candles in the last gift grab were from a Morrison's supermarket in the UK (hardly one of the high end supermarkets!) when you remember the Trudon candles she buys in Paris where just one candle costs several hundred Euros. Why don't the donors see this and realise that the squeals of delight are insincere fakery?

 

[Mrs O]

More on Dick and Angel ......https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9555127/Dick-Angel-Strawbridge-hammered-claims-bullying.html

I think I would have had a swearing fit as well if I’d been doing something and the numpty camera person hadn’t recorded it!
if you read the whole article (plus several others) rest of crew and directors said they were great to work with and didn’t throw tantrums etc.
Their chateau is almost complete and therefore not doing TV ETTC and have moved onto other ventures.
I like D&A. They started this whole ETTC thing off and have worked hard to make a business out of their home. What they have achieved in a few years - along with creating a home for her parents, bringing up two children and hosting numerous weddings is amazing. (Plus Dick working to bring in extra cash) Unlike other chateau owners and their hangers on who just have the begging bowl out constantly ... without achieving very much at all - in over SIXTEEN YEARS!

 

[The Cheshire Cat]

Steve said that Chateau Diaries doesn't show the boring bits. I beg to differ. You and Sara are on it!

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Being stuck in a car with Billy and Ryan for 6 hours would be my personal version of Hell (American Horror Story: Coven anyone?)
But interestingly...
Billy saying he has been hogging all château content for his channel, because Michael is the Christmas Fairy Star. Is this an olive branch Billy. Or is it because Gwen pulled the plug on your YouTube dreams (both The Pethericks and Chateau Rescue), to finish her château...?
I agree. Doing It Ourselves should have been a family project - but when you are a greedy Brady Bunch, then I guess it's every sibling for themselves...
Other uninteresting tidbids:
Ryan is affected by Brexit, I though for someone who's family has a manor in France would be sorted out.
Also, they are saying life partner, not specifically stating woman (or man) - maybe he swings both ways, but descibing them as somebody with two arms and two legs, then realising that it comes across as ablesit, then reiterating it to no arms and no legs... geeezz Ryan...

I somehow get the feelig Gwen is seeing that all that vlogging is not good for her rental business....when you wanne go to a place, you google...and then you end up with the whole circus...anyone, who is not a diehard fan, would think twice before booking that place...and ending up in a circus...

 

[Green Ink]

Last week I bought some mould remover spray, I haven't opened it, Stephanie will love it.

If you sent it with a hand-embroidered card explaining it is the exact same mould spray used at Chatsworth and Blenheim and smells like ancient parquet once danced upon by the Pompadour on a visit in 1760, then she will looooove it.