The Chateau Diaries #34 Every court needs its clowns

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries #34 Church Of Stephinology The tit Show at The Chateau

Congratulations ....40.8% winner author @Arfarf

Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary! and updates
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.
Thanks to @NotAChatelaine for Tattle.Life Word of The Day




CD - The Chateau Diaries

Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1988)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Francis Mannion Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)


Tattle.Life Word of the day
'snollygoster' (19th century): an individual guided by personal gain rather than by principles.

‘ingordigiousness’: extreme greed; an insatiable desire for wealth at any cost.


Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château de Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Begmania: château de Basmaignée @Le Comte de Monte Cristo

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(a) Derek, to be a Derek: someone who is obsessed with boobs @Gibson

(a) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

ARTWORK @Linus


Honourable Mention @Gibson

awarded Tattle.Life Award
This Author was Threads ahead of his time .....
The Chateau Diaries #31 Who'll crawl out of the woodwork next?


Marie: Excerpts from her Inner Goddess book. Available to pre order at some point in the future.
All credit to my patrons for paying me to provide content.


Dear Diary,

Today I had a wonderful experience. I was photographed naked! Two lovely ladies had me in allsorts of positions.I'm thrilled as all my hard work has paid off. I've been wondering round the Chateau with no bras on to help Steph. It's worked wonders for vlog views. I wonder if i should start my own. I love living at the Chateau, my flowers look great and I feel like a Goddess dressed at Isabelle's wedding.
Dear Diary,
Leaving today and going to live in the UK. I have a new job and it's all looking good. I have to bunk in with Steph's mates and I'm not keen, but need some money. I will stay positive, it will be a success. Steph loves and believes in me.
Dear Diary,
Well the UK isn't the Chateau. I'm not getting the exposure. Stuff this, I've been on Instagram for a while and Stephs fans follow me. I'm packing it in and following my dream. I am a Goddess after all.
Dear Diary,
I'm back...woohoo. Trouble is tiny pr**ck Philip has taken my place. What a $€£@#$ he is even borrowing Steph's clots [sic], and she promised them to meeee. Hate him.
Dear Diary,
They pissed me off over the wreath! I'm stuck here in this cold ffing stable whilst they are in the warmth (well not that warm) decided to post some pics hahaha. Spiders, mould and a few which will sort out a proper timeline on the vlogs. Take that Philip. Staying positive, my photos look good. Patrons and followers are up. Manifesting my dream.
Dear Diary,
My teats are getting on my nerves! I've done really well on the van fundraiser. My viewers are building up. Good job my allergies make me cry...vlog night tonight. Hehe. Inner Goddess will be out again soon.
Dear Diary,
I am in a new room. Suits me as away from those feckers, I am working hard. Some of my plants died. Dan the gardener was supposed to water them. I won't grass him up on the vlog though. Had lots of lovely comments about my teats. Working those patrons for more ideas about what to do next...they don't really have to tell me though as I have a plan.
Dear Diary,
Bridgerton party. That biatch Nati, didn't help me. I am still a Goddess and will talk about my feelings. Philip looked worse than me though, he doesn't look good in pants. Steph keeps filming his crotch. I Don't know why, except he probably tries to hide hedgehogs in there. Haha. That Canadian woman is bright orange and looks like an oompalumpa. Can't wait to launch my new stuff.
Dear Diary,
Oh yes! I posted pics of me in my underwear. The Goddess is back. My confidence is back. One up on Philip, he hasn't got his own channel and the crotchless wonder can do one. I am manifesting a new life....

Mod edit

Sorry! Swears aren't allowed in titles, updated to rhyming slag

 

[FrenchGirl123]

When your not a businesswoman..she clearly is not...just lucky...your workers are taking advantage of you...what a soap...

That is obvious (for me). All of them. They play with her. And she thinks SHE plays with them !

One of the last videos from Chateau de la Grifferaie he stated they were looking at Patreon to help pay for repairs/maintenance.

They have a whole organisation backing them. I already spoke about this in a previous thread. These two are in a different league that the other chateau owners.

@purejuice now why would you assume those Jarvis supporters are also Trump supporters.

Remember their favorite pro CD trolls (Real Aiglon, Duchess of Couteau, JC de Frontenac), all found in a pro-Trump forum on Fox News channel ?

 

[Phoenix Richards-Bingham]

I got sucked down the YouTube rabbit hole of listening to reaction videos of Pentatonix songs...I could listen to their "Hallelujah" for hours!!!...and often do!

But I digress....I went to You tube when the last thread was at page 47...I come back and there's already a new thread started!!!...but now it's bedtime...see you all tomorrow!

O.M.G.!!!!....I just saw the revised title after the moderators said no swear words!!!...Hmmmm...am I wrong for thinking that "tit" is kind of a swear word, to some at least?

 

[darkone]

Them pictures dad done need to go on the fire pit that Selmer made not on the walls

For sure!!!!

 

[MojoDublin]

The Chateau Diaries #34 Church Of Stephinology

• The tit Show at the Chateau Author @Arfarf
  
  Votes: 3140.8%
• Every Court Needs Its Clowns Author @Gibson
  
  Votes: 2228.9%
• We Are Spartacus Author @JoynoToile
  
  Votes: 79.2%
• Welcome To Dereck's Naked Dream Author @sandro37
  
  Votes: 56.6%
• Welcome to Dereck's Dream Kitchen (Warning ; Explicit Tile Work) @MarquisdePotpourri
  
  Votes: 1114.5%
• Total voters 76
• This poll will close: May 12, 2021 at 7:14 AM.

MODERATOR -- THANK YOU SO MUCH ------- APOLOGIES AGAIN
but
THANK YOU

could you please use the second most popular
as voted for

EVERY COURT NEEDS ITS CLOWNS

apologies for the error
now advised

 

[Definitely Maybe]

From previous thread, post by @Arfarf , .....

SJ needs a stylist and a GOOD interior decorator who specializes in restorations, and then she needs to LISTEN to them. Oh, and a COMPETENT general manager to keep all these crazy renovations (I.e. Remudelings) in line.What is going on with the terrace? Looks like another job done half-assed and unfinished.


I think @Arfarf has coined another word for the Chateau dictionary, 'Remuddling' to describe the crazy renovation work ! I LOVE it

 

[Clara Burnett]

This just dawned on me: even if we assume SJ is hoping to live up to her promise (I know that’s a stretch) and provide all her top tier patrons with a stay at her HMN at a reduced but in fact overpriced rate, how is she going to control the narrative? During the pandemic it was easy enough to just lie uncontrollably about the progress of projects and even then she f’ed up the timeline more than once. What if the patrons actually come and take pictures, or even worse, videos that they post online? Imagine the amount of fact checking she has to go through before posting another vlog. She thinks she’s “working” hard now, boy, does she have another thing coming. It’s unsustainable to put it mildly. It’s going to be all over the place, not just one naughty picture in the chapel.
She told us Elusive N is soon to arrive at the HMN. He better straighten her out because things are going to get nasty soon, at a disproportionate speed, I suspect.

 

[MojoDublin]

This just dawned on me: even if we assume SJ is hoping to live up to her promise (I know that’s a stretch) and provide all her top tier patrons with a stay at her HMN at a reduced but in fact overpriced rate, how is she going to control the narrative? During the pandemic it was easy enough to just lie uncontrollably about the progress of projects and even then she f’ed up the timeline more than once. What if the patrons actually come and take pictures, or even worse, videos that they post online? Imagine the amount of fact checking she has to go through before posting another vlog. She thinks she’s “working” hard now, boy, does she have another thing coming. It’s unsustainable to put it mildly. It’s going to be all over the place, not just one naughty picture in the chapel.
She told us Elusive N is soon to arrive at the HMN. He better straighten her out because things are going to get nasty soon, at a disproportionate speed, I suspect.

bang on

however - look at what shes charging on booking .com
anyone else kept previous intel ..as to how much she was charging ?
add discount
shes still infront

seriously thou calling it

i can see patrons coming
paying to stay

cooking
cleaning
serving
repairing
painting

and were sooooooo happy to help
its coming

Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (attardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus est la gestion des différents chantiers. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différentes affaires. Il devrait, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, avoir un responsable de chantier, des réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipes, suivi du planning, interactions et suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement à la catastrophe. Les chantiers de bâtiment sont choisis sérieuse qui va tant pour la sécurité des personnes que pour la pérennité de l'ouvrage ...
Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (retardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus, c'est la gestion des différents sites. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différents cas. Elle doit, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, disposer d'un responsable de site, de réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipe, d'un suivi du planning, des interactions et du suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement au désastre. Les chantiers sont une affaire sérieuse qui va à la fois pour la sécurité des personnes et pour la pérennité des travaux ...

Hi ya

Astounded you found the English thread
Read all 34 threads .. kudos

Oops managed to forget it was totally in ... English

2 nd post ... no worries we’re use to trolls ...

Best you stick to the format that’s worked for the last 34 threads

 

[Green Ink]

a GOOD interior decorator who specializes in restorations

Her problem is that she is drawn to the fabrics and decorations like a child to a box of sweeties. She is not interested in restoration or renovation.

 

[Mariza]

bang on

however - look at what shes charging on booking .com
anyone else kept previous intel ..as to how much she was charging ?
add discount
shes still infront

seriously thou calling it

i can see patrons coming
paying to stay

cooking
cleaning
serving
repairing
painting

and were sooooooo happy to help
its coming





Hi ya

Astounded you found the English thread
Read all 34 threads .. kudos

Oops managed to forget it was totally in ... English

2 nd post ... no worries we’re use to trolls ...

Best you stick to the format that’s worked for the last 34 threads

I just searched for "Stephanie Jarvis forum" and I came across your site which is so aptly ironic! With automatic translation into French. I wanted to have a different story than the chatooo vlogs. And have a little fun!

 

[Green Ink]

It’s unsustainable to put it mildly

It is beginning to look like mania.

 

[Hemerocallis]

Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (attardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus est la gestion des différents chantiers. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différentes affaires. Il devrait, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, avoir un responsable de chantier, des réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipes, suivi du planning, interactions et suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement à la catastrophe. Les chantiers de bâtiment sont choisis sérieuse qui va tant pour la sécurité des personnes que pour la pérennité de l'ouvrage ...
Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (retardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus, c'est la gestion des différents sites. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différents cas. Elle doit, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, disposer d'un responsable de site, de réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipe, d'un suivi du planning, des interactions et du suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement au désastre. Les chantiers sont une affaire sérieuse qui va à la fois pour la sécurité des personnes et pour la pérennité des travaux ...

Oui, merci pour le lien. Ici, nous discutons depuis 33 threads les points évoqués par toi/vous (en Anglais, c'est toujours "you", je ne sais donc pas si on se tutoie ou vouvoie ici ). Bien sûr, il faudrait des réunions hebdomadaires, chaque personne de bon sens les ferait mais voilà, c'est le problème, elle n'en a pas.

 

[Green Ink]

What if the patrons actually come and take pictures, or even worse, videos that they post online?

Indeed. She can't edit those.

 

[Mariza]

Oui, merci pour le lien. Ici, nous discutons depuis 33 threads les points évoqués par toi/vous (en Anglais, c'est toujours "you", je ne sais donc pas si on se tutoie ou vouvoie ici ). Bien sûr, il faudrait des réunions hebdomadaires, chaque personne de bon sens les ferait mais voilà, c'est le problème, elle n'en a pas.

You can say you for tu !

 

[arthur]

Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (attardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus est la gestion des différents chantiers. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différentes affaires. Il devrait, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, avoir un responsable de chantier, des réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipes, suivi du planning, interactions et suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement à la catastrophe. Les chantiers de bâtiment sont choisis sérieuse qui va tant pour la sécurité des personnes que pour la pérennité de l'ouvrage ...
Avez-vous regardé les vieilles photos sur Flicks?
Hormis le fait que la vie au château ressemble à une colonie de vacances pour adolescents (retardés!), Ce qui me choque le plus, c'est la gestion des différents sites. Il n'y a pas de coordination entre les différents cas. Elle doit, comme dans toute entreprise qui se respecte, disposer d'un responsable de site, de réunions hebdomadaires avec tous les chefs d'équipe, d'un suivi du planning, des interactions et du suivi du budget en parallèle. C'est un travail à plein temps. Ils vont sûrement au désastre. Les chantiers sont une affaire sérieuse qui va à la fois pour la sécurité des personnes et pour la pérennité des travaux ...

May I ask you : try to give us your ideas in English ? Not to offend you, of course. Don't be ashamed with mistakes, wrong expressions, ... every one will pardon you. You'll improve your English and learn a lot of usefull words
Tattlers are very kind : they never correct you (can tell from my experience) . you're here with your opinion some would agree/disagree; it doesn't matter . All is fun ... but with witty remarks !!

Merci de faire l'effort de s'exprimer en anglais; il ne faut pas avoir peur de faire des erreurs (expressions bancales,...); tout le monde vous pardonnera; tous sont vraiment sympa (ils ne se permettent même pas de vous corriger - j'en sais quelque chose !
A vous de donner vos idées, de les soumettre; certains seront d'accord, d'autres pas du tout.
L'important est la bonne heure .. avec, si possible, des remarques "intelligentes"

 

[Hemerocallis]

I really did like the french owners of the Brico-Marché. Bet they jumped on the occasion to take a closer look at the tit-O and its tit-o-laine.

You can say you for tu !

Eum, yes I know, but "you" in French can be "tu" and "vous"

 

[Green Ink]

I really did like the french owners of the Brico-Marché. Bet they jumped on the occasion to take a closer look at the tit-O and its tit-o-laine.


Eum, yes I know, but "you" in French can be "tu" and "vous"

Me too. They must have a good laugh about it all when they are framing the tits&bums.

 

[Mariza]

[QUOTE = "Hemerocallis, message: 4838906, membre: 142301"]
J'ai beaucoup aimé les propriétaires français du Brico-Marché. Je parie qu'ils ont sauté sur l'occasion pour regarder de plus près le tit-O et son tit-o-laine.


Eum, oui je sais, mais "vous" en français peut être "tu" et "vous"
[/CITATION]
Tu peux dire 'tu' pour friends

May I ask you : try to give us your ideas in English ? Not to offend you, of course. Don't be ashamed with mistakes, wrong expressions, ... every one will pardon you. You'll improve your English and learn a lot of usefull words
Tattlers are very kind : they never correct you (can tell from my experience) . you're here with your opinion some would agree/disagree; it doesn't matter . All is fun ... but with witty remarks !!

Merci de faire l'effort de s'exprimer en anglais; il ne faut pas avoir peur de faire des erreurs (expressions bancales,...); tout le monde vous pardonnera; tous sont vraiment sympa (ils ne se permettent même pas de vous corriger - j'en sais quelque chose !
A vous de donner vos idées, de les soumettre; certains seront d'accord, d'autres pas du tout.
L'important est la bonne heure .. avec, si possible, des remarques "intelligentes"

Yes I'll try !
Have you looked at the old photos on Flicks?
Aside from the fact that life at the castle looks like a summer camp for teenagers (********!), What shocks me the most is the management of the different sites. There is no coordination between the different cases. As in any self-respecting company, it must have a site manager, weekly meetings with all team leaders, planning monitoring, interactions and budget monitoring at the same time. It is a full time job. They are surely going to disaster. The worksites are a serious matter which goes at the same time for the safety of the people and for the durability of the works ...

 

[Hemerocallis]

Me too. They must have a good laugh about it all when they are framing the tits&bums.

Even took their daughter with them......

 

[Green Ink]

How apt that this ad has appeared in my Tattle ad bar on the CD