The Chateau Diaries #311 Got to pretend to be in the UK for 181 days a year to be a UK tax resident!

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll just hang out at @mrsp67 's sammie shop and gossip about the locals! (The food is MUCH better there than anything FRK serves!)

Even if Fanny loses her Patreon dosh, she'll still put out her swill vlogs because she needs every penny of that YT revenue. It'll just consist of more pleading poor, wearing the grifting yellow dress, random sponsors and requests for the gangsta grannies to send her money directly. The "Church of Fanny Collection Plate" now accepts Venmo, PayPal, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Zelle, Visa, Mastercard, Diner's Club, Amex, and Travelers Cheques with promises of a LaLande postcard in return (that one will probably never receive)!
'Buy Me A Bag of Dog Food'
 
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I would hope that the French taxing authorities would take interest, as I seriously doubt she is paying taxes on the "Adopt A Star" timeshare revenue. While the money is "allegedly" going to the chapel, neither the chapel nor the farmhouse are labeled "monument historique" or considered of cultural significance, AND both are for private use only as "Fanny's Folly." Tsk tsk, it could very well bite co-owners Nick Larkin and Michael Potts in the bums as well.
She also instructed hundreds of viewers how to send a gift to her in France and evade French taxation on the packages. Nutty sent emails to viewers, explaining what information had to be written on the packages in order to evade gift taxes. Recall at one time she was receiving so many gifts That almost an entire mail truck had to be dedicated to taking packages to the dump. She has evaded paying taxes on hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts that she received for years through the crap unwrapped channel ( which was the brain child of hyper Hanni).
 
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Well... I honestly thought I'd be catching ole Fanny out in a big fat lie once I saw her engagement party vlog, but now I'm not so sure. 😒
It's about her engagement ring, not the crappy one sans stone, but the in-yer-face huge vulgar cocktail ring she claimed was "angel skin coral." I had to look at the thing again to be sure and alas, now I'm not.

To me the central 'stone' looked like a melo melo pearl. I collect pearls to use in the jewellery and beadwork I do, so it intrigued me. Now, for those who don't know, melo melo pearls aka dragon pearls (from the sea snail Volutidae) are extremely rare and extremely expensive; much more so than angel skin coral, which in itself, can be very rare and expensive. Melo melo pearls range in colour from brown to apricot, to tan, to orange and only 1 in several thousand Volatile snail will ever produce a pearl. A decent one will set you back around £40.000. I've shown a screen shot Fanny's ring to a jeweller friend and her first impression was that the ring was a melo melo. But then she ummm'd and ahhh'd over it, showed it to another jeweller friend who said no, it was "probably" angel skin coral, but then he shared the image with a colleague who thought the ring was a melo melo pearl. The jury is still out.

I did however ask the value of each. If Fanny's cocktail engagement ring is a melo melo pearl with the diamond surround, the value of the ring is between £35,000 to £55,000. If the ring is angel skin coral, with the diamond surround, the value is approximately £7,000 to £10,000.
But it's still ugly as :poop:
 
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Sending good wishes to all our Tattlers in Florida. Hope the rains aren't causing you too many troubles. Stay dry! ❤
 
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I did finally get round to watching Permasmile's latest vlog, and do have a few musings:

Forking Viv used the vlog like a "QVC/HSN Channel" to promote her wares, which was in poor taste. She lost points when Isabella asked if she could wear a specific necklace, and Viv quickly shut her down with a NO. Simon looked like a broken down man who has just given up and succombed to the life of a man forced to wear brooches.

I do think Viv and Sarah are really good friends (Simon, on the other hand, really could give two forks, and just does what Viv tells him to do to keep the peace.) Mini-Viv was not as annoying or afflicted as she usually is- I did feel a bit for her, as other than Snorts and Penelope, was one of the youngest members to be amongst the very geriatric crowd. But, she remained exceptionally polite and upbeat. I give her a gold star for not only supporting her parents, but Sarah and Shrek.

Fanny and Snorts were late, and made it in time to see the newly married couple come out of the Maire's office. Based on Fanny's body language with the pink phone in her velociraptor claw and one over her mouth, she certainly was giggling about Sarah and Shrek's outfits. Fork off, Fanny- it is not YOUR wedding.

Endearing- the entire ceremony took place in French with the Maire, who had only nice things to say about them (because they have made their chateau a home vice an empty building, and they have become a part of the local community). I also liked that Sarah spoke in French for most of the reception- her French was not perfect, but she certainly tries.

Fanny and Snorts were almost as odd of ducks as Stewie and Patsy. The "gruesome duo" lacked any real social interaction. The odd bit where they returned from "the hedges" sans Lancelot (Filippo had him in his care- after all, Curtis and Filippo are dog people and Filippo probably said, "Oh, povero piccolo bambino! Vieni con me! I tuoi genitori sono terribili!") I do think the tiny dog was grateful to have a break from his shyte parents for a change. (Dog parents- we know.)

The irony is that the photos that "amateur photographer" Julia took and shared with Viv were of far better quality than any of Potts!

The following day, Sarah and Shrek revealed the "gifts" they received- hmm, yet there was nothing from Fanny shown. Did Fanny EVEN give them a gift? If so, it must not have been very vlog-worthy. "Our gift to you is our presence! We will vlog the parts of your wedding we showed up for, eat the food, drink as much champers as we can, hand our dog off to someone else to care for, and use your footage and likeness to promote our own channel! After all, we are on Channel 4!"
 
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joshuamohler2356
7 hours ago
Can somebody told me what happened to the outside pool? They were working on in an olddetr DIY? I remember a bunch of outside landscaping, but nothing after that.?

Sparrowdean
27 minutes ago
The only outside pool was a small inflatable one that was brought out one summer. Stephanie earmarked an area for a swimming pool (or, as she's now calling it, a swimming pool and spa), but work has not yet begun on it. If anyone can produce evidence to confirm the existence of such a pool, I'll stand corrected.

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Stephanie Jarvis, being filmed by Peter Demetris, for Chateau DIY, discussing the natural swimming pond.
👇 Chateau DIY IG, September 19, 2021.
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Oct 7, 2022
#235


They started a wild swimming pond but had no permissions so had to stop..... bleeping idiots....... They are the embarrassing, bodge job fools of Chateau DIY. The other featured chateau with their amazing restoration projects really show her up


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"Wild swimming pond" I have never heard of a swimming pond, much less a wild on
By this reckoning he works more than seven days a week. Poor Snorts doesn't have his Pa's head for figures
Hopefully he will commence to ciphering down by the cement pond soon..-- not to be confused with the "wild swimming pond".
 
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I hope when SJ gets handcuffed she’s wearing her strawberry shoes. Snorty will take all his tat & move in with Cigarette John. When SJ leaves jail her wall will have caved in, mold taken over & chickens still dead. Snorty has already thrown out her belongings to make room for his revenge copper, grandfather’s favorite card & applesauce so all she’ll have is that rubber painting from her father & peacock dress from gift grab. Who knows maybe Dan will hire her as his gardener.
 
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For a moment there I wondered if the dogs were going to lift their legs on these tapestries.
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@susiepotgieter5232
1 hour ago
Patreon say’s your account is suspended? Hmm ..I checked and all other chateau accounts are up and it doesn’t appear to be any “glitches” on those? Very weird indeed
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preciouslily15
43 minutes ago
Following you everyday, you manage to make me smile because you smile even when under the weather or feeling down, thankyou. Has something gone wrong with the Patreon site, its saying under review, is this just a normal thing they do occasionally? Watched an old video last night when you all had a part in the Bridgerton costumes and celebrated Phillips birthday, lovely in the most amazing location. Hope all is well


thomasgansevoort929
29 minutes ago
Interesting to note . French drains are not a French invention. They are named after Mr. French the inventor. Sorry I can't recall his nationality or his first name.





HE IS CORRECT! AMERICAN HENRY FRENCH INVENTED THE FRENCH DRAINAGE SYSTEM.


“It All Starts with Henry
Henry Flagg French was an assistant secretary of the Treasury of the United States under Ulysses S. Grant and he was very fascinated with agriculture. One of the most common problems facing farmers was having too much water accumulated on perfectly good farmland, rendering it unusable. By draining the farm fields somehow, the land could be usable again. Adding to the problem, Henry French believed that the vapors that rose from swampy and flooded farmland caused disease.

Doing the Research
Henry’s belief that standing water created disease inspired his trip to the United Kingdom and the Netherlands. Once he returned, he published a book titled “Farm Drainage” in 1859, and it is considered the definitive research text on drainage (I bet you didn’t know there was one!). Henry explored a variety of different drainage techniques that were popular back then—the Deanston System, the Keythorpe System, and the Wharncliffe System. Henry also examined different styles and sizes of pipes and measured their efficacy at getting rid of water. The conclusion of his book resulted in the invention of the French drain, an excavated trench that is filled with gravel and a perforated pipe that serves to carry away accumulated water.

Still Tried and True
While Henry French published his book and invented his drain in the 1800s, his research and methods are still celebrated today. The French drain is excellent at keeping your basement (and the exterior of your home) free of any excess water. Next time you are looking at drains, make sure to give thanks to Henry French for all of the work that he did!”

 
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Sending good wishes to all our Tattlers in Florida. Hope the rains aren't causing you too many troubles. Stay dry! ❤
Thanks, @Lady Avonlea ! We've had an unusually wet Winter and a dry Spring. It has "literally" (in my best Julie Montague voice) been raining for days! I am one of the rare unicorns who actually uses their irrigation system (my mantra when the water bill comes in is, "Whatever, my dogs DESERVE a nice lawn!" Not fun when the water bill is higher than the electrics- but it is cheaper than replacing our massive landscaping and re-sodding, so there is that.) We have a lot of plants, and Mr. T Rex had the foresight on Monday- "Bae, you might want to trim the foliage while I mow- you'll thank me later. " On a good note, the water has turned the neighbour's crunchy lawns green overnight. (I made Mr. T Rex buy a bag of grass seed to overseed their sad lawns.) Our pool "overfloweth", and I am glad our pool restorers did not stupidly fill in the overflow valve. But, there is a lot of localized flooding right now, and while we are in a "lull" right now, are supposed to get more tomorrow. We did have a band of winds come through early in the AM that knocked over our recycling bin with lightning and looked like the end of the world, but other than having to clean up the scattered Miller Lite cans and a couple of palm fronds, we were fine. Thank you for thinking of us!
 
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"Wild swimming pond" I have never heard of a swimming pond, much less a wild on
They are a bit of a thing at the moment. A 'swimming pool' landscaped to look as if it's a natural pond in nature.

This is an example of a place near me. Fifth picture. It doesn't have much vegetation as per the beautiful ones I've seen in Gardens Ilustrated.

 
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The gruesome twosome have been very quiet tonight after Stephanie posted about the “ glitch” that she reportedly called Patreon support to report.
 
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The gruesome twosome have been very quiet tonight after Stephanie posted about the “ glitch” that she reportedly called Patreon support to report.
Even if nothing comes of this, I hope the Pattern 'glitch' really rattles their cage.
And it couldn't have come at a better time . . . not long until Patron Days.
 
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I’m back, witches! Anything happen while I was gone? Fanny in jail yet?

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I’m back, witches! Anything happen while I was gone? Fanny in jail yet?

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Interesting Fact - Prisoners in France do not wear uniforms and are instead provided with 'normal clothes' (i.e. regular civilian clothing). Use of prison uniforms was abolished in 1983. In this case Fanny's going to need an entire extra cell to accommodate her wardrobe.
 
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