The Chateau Diaries #27 Miss Jarvis' Neverland home for peculiar children

[lolander]

The title was too long to include The Church of Stephinology
Thank you @Jeeves for the new title (suggested by @Phoenix Richards-Bingham)!
Thank you @Jeeves also for organising the vote!
Thank you @Hercule P for compiling a Chateau dictionary!
Thanks to @ploppityplop2 for the intro.
Thanks to @MojoDublin and @Rory for Glossaries.




Glossary

CD - The Chateau Diaries
Tarts boudoir - Chateau de Lalande
HMN - heap in the middle of nowhere
Flat 34B - bolt hole SJ

LOTL/LOTLL - Lady of the (Lost) Lake, aka Stephanie (b.1975)
SSB- She Who Shouts from the balcony, SJ
QBC- Queen of bed chambers - SJ
MB - Madame Boneyparts -SJ
SJ - Stephanie Jarvis
Fanny - Stephanie Jarvis

MMAF - Mad Man's Arse Face, i.e. mummy
Mini Apron - Isabelle Jarvis (nee Biggio, b.1942) married 1962/3 to Derek Jarvis, widowed 2009, married to Percy Atfield year???

Potty/MP - Michael Potts
Cinder-Ruth- MPotts current squeeze Ruth Kelly (b.1981)

Nitti/Nutty - Nati Oliveto

Floral Roadkill (FRK / RK) - Marie Wiik (b.1991)

BJJ - Baby Jesus Jeans, aka Philip Janssen
PP (Nostril of Lalande) - Prince Philip
UH - Uriah Heep - Philip
Renfield - Philip

MP/MP2/MPK - Michael Petherick (b.1986)
MOLD: Man Of LOST Design - Michael Petherick
Crybaby - Michael Petherick
Sir Trotter BDSM - Michael Petherick
Teabag Trotter - Michael Petherick
Master - Swedish director of Elias Truedsson
BS - Billy Spielberg - Billy Petherick (b.1990)
Trotter, Petherdick - any Petherick family reference
Ma Trotter - Sherrie Petherick
Pa Trotter - Mr Petherick Esq
PILF: The only Petherick I'd like to be filmed with - Pa 'Mick' Trotter

Dear Brenda/BG - Brenda Gibbons (superfan/Facebook admin) from Donegal Ireland
Karen Cbomb - other superfan/admin, Canada
Jumpsuit Jill - rabid serial deletor of unfan comments on premier chat - Jill Scott, New Zealand

Donegals - Limericks (renamed in honour of Dear Brenda)
Agents - Tattlers who find out juicy background info

Chat O (or variations) - Chateau (how Brenda says it)
“BuyMeACoffee” - give me money (no, really, give me money, I really need it)

MBNS;GF - more boring narc stuff; gimme facts

PSDFHB - princess shouting down from her balcony
PRSDBP - princess in her robe shouting down from her balcony at the peasants

Wet Blanket - Fun hoover
Mickey Dodger - Woman who avoids sexual encounters

Thanks to @Rory for the SSB Main Squeeze Glossary:

1. Gregory Mason Clark - Husband and boyfriend, on and off at uni. SJ approx 18
2. Nic Larkin - apparently just friends at uni (but also dated according to CB?)
3. Married Husband 22-24??? (wedding registered in July 1999, she was 23 at the time)
4. Michael Potts met through Oliver Strong on and off 10 years. Open relationship in the end. Buys Chateau 2005 during relationship age 29.
5. Edmond Fokker van Craayenstein (player in tight trousers who pretends to be an aristocrat-BF with guy who said "let the 80 years-olds die off")
6. Mason Dwinell on and off (last we heard he is still staring at the sun?)
7. Ludwig Norweigner (otherwise known as Nordic Weirdo, alcoholic friend unceremoniously dumped at the train station without a ticket)
8. James Jardine (turned out to be "too much" for the girl who never has enough)
9. Daniel Hengeveld (nicknamed Druggy Daniel, because of his not so secret habits. IJ was furious about that romance and the fact that he introduced narcotics into the shat-o. Christmas 2016)
10. Various volunteers ad nauseum (bread oven guy Walton, Christian We etc.)
11. BJJ (any port in a storm, eh Stephanie?)

Château dictionary

BasMinger: Château Basmaignée/aka Trotter Towers, the spin off Vlogs of the Trotters. @Jeeves

Cadge: Cadeaux at the Châteaux' channel @Definitely Maybe

Dadification: The attribution of Derek's nature or characteristics at each and every opportunity. @Jeeves

(A) Fouquet: as in to pull a Fouquet. The act of using public funds to finance once lavish lifestyle, in honour of the Great Nicolas Fouquet, Louis the XIV’s finance minister and builder of celebrated Château of Vaux-le-Vicomte (the most ostentatious Château of its time, pre-dating the Versailles renovations) who finished his life in jail being accused by the King of mismanagement of funds. @justcommonsense

GAG: Grab a Gift @Mrs O

Gustavo: male prostitute with expensive tastes @Hercule P

High Priestess Skankadankadingdong: SJ's name @lalablahblah

Madrid syndrom: stricto sensu, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive hotel in the middle of a pandemy
Flexible version, long journey to have some bedroom activities in a very expensive place @Hercule P

Petherfending: defending Petherick @Joy no toile

Selmobile: Selmar’s camper-van vehicle of love and adventure @Princess and the Pea or @Gibson ?????

Spored: bored with Spode, I am so spored right now, or Diesel is spored; he wants his old dog dish back. @ProfessorPlum

Stephanese: What would be your definition? @mummydearest

Stephfending: when I actually do feel the need to defend SJ. @Milre

Stephiphany: a sudden awareness of the chance to swindle @ProfessorPlum

Trolliosis: a debilitating condition caused by Tattlers asking questions or making observations relating to grifting @lalablahblah

To Versailles: to behave like Marie-Antoinette (Sofia Coppola’s dancing, dressing-up, gambling, romanticising nature version of Marie-Antoinette) As in They Versailled again all night yesterday! @justcommonsense

To Versailles up: to make Versailles-inspired design choices that, depending on taste and budget, may result in a nouveau-riche or tat-like look. As in They Versailled up the entrance, it looks [insert preferred adjective]! @justcommonsense

ArtWork @Linus

 

[Jeeves]

Thank you for organising the new thread @Iolander and to @Phoenix Richards-Bingham for suggesting the new title!

I'm so sorry that I didn't see these late entries in time to include in the vote.
As the next thread will carry on over the Easter period, the suggestions are still valid so whoever sets up the next thread, maybe we could put these at the start and when Tattlers come up with a new idea, tcan they be responsible for copying, pasting and then adding their suggestion to the bottom? We can close the list at post #949 and commence the vote from post #950? It's so difficult to add to the vote halfway as some people will end up voting twice for different titles.

It would save someone trawling through the threads to find the suggestions (and missing some great ideas!)

@Marquis de Potpourri #27. The Church of Stephinology: It's not a party, it's a cult gathering, Bridgerton style.
@MojoDublin. #27. The Church of Stephanoligy: The Grifters of The Pandemic
@LadyLainie #27 The Church of Stephinology: With the Utmost Precaution (featuring: It's not a real party)
@Viva La Loca #27. The Church of Stepinology: Obscene Lies & Avarice

 

[lalablahblah]

I feel for Selmar. Nothing worse than some ignorant client wanting to put your name on some unworthy bull tit. Because you know when it does not work out because of their ignorance they are still going to blame you. That cresh. Ignorant bimbo hands him some rotten piece of fire wood ate up with worms rotting in the attic for decades and wants it fixed. You can not make chicken salad out of chicken tit. Gasoline and a match is the only fix for something that rotten.

 

[iglie]

Macron is speaking in a few minutes, I wonder what they'll do if the whole country is going into another full lockdown. I wish the cops cared cause I would have gladly called on them to bust their party

 

[MojoDublin]

Thank you for organising the new thread @Iolander and to @Phoenix Richards-Bingham for suggesting the new title!

I'm so sorry that I didn't see these late entries in time to include in the vote.
As the next thread will carry on over the Easter period, the suggestions are still valid so whoever sets up the next thread, maybe we could put these at the start and when Tattlers come up with a new idea, tcan they be responsible for copying, pasting and then adding their suggestion to the bottom? We can close the list at post #949 and commence the vote from post #950? It's so difficult to add to the vote halfway as some people will end up voting twice for different titles.

It would save someone trawling through the threads to find the suggestions (and missing some great ideas!)

@Marquis de Potpourri #27. The Church of Stephinology: It's not a party, it's a cult gathering, Bridgerton style.
@MojoDublin. #27. The Church of Stephanoligy: The Grifters of The Pandemic
@LadyLainie #27 The Church of Stephinology: With the Utmost Precaution (featuring: It's not a real party)
@Viva La Loca #27. The Church of Stepinology: Obscene Lies & Avarice

Thanks
@lolander
@Jeeves
Congratulations at title

We’ll be better organised at page 25

 

[Tamerton]

Macron is speaking in a few minutes, I wonder what they'll do if the whole country is going into another full lockdown. I wish the cops cared cause I would have gladly called on them to bust their party

France to close schools and extend Covid-19 lockdown to all of the country, Macron says

President Emmanuel Macron extended light lockdown measures from 19 areas including Paris to all of mainland France from April 3 for 4 weeks at a televised address on the resurgent Covid-19 pandemic on…

f24.my

a good watch

 

[Hercule P]

We are done.... Macron just said that from Saturday France will be in lockdown for 4 weeks.
FED UP!! RAS LE BOL. We are careful and respectful and because of some idiots like jarvis and co, we are back to square one.
I feel for the people who are sick, who have lost some loved ones and/or live in small flats.
Some of the covidiots who are already at Lalande will have to leave!!!! GOOD JOB. And some others won't be able to get there. Good job too, Bien fait!!!!
I don't know what Belgium will decide. There is a possibility that the elusive might try to come to la Lande for the lockdown.
I am fuming and I won't tolerate any party whatsoever. I can tell you that!!!!!

 

[Tamerton]

Coronavirus pandemic in France: Macron extends limited lockdown to all of France for 4 weeks

f24.my

Macron

 

[arthur]

I'm going to see what I can do with Police Nationale

 

[LadyLainie]

Can you imagine if Elusive and fam, Potts and Ruth come rushing before the gate closes? Wouldn't put it past any of them.

You know what? If they can work remotely and would rather all be living together in community at Lalande during CovidTimes, FINE. But f*cking STAY PUT. All of them need to stop it with their quick-test swabs and mini-breaks. That includes you Stephanie! Stay the F HOME.

 

[arthur]

strict controls for all people , anywhere in France

 

[Viva La Loca]

Recap on the Easter Costume Party attendance during a global pandemic, in a country that has had to impose a 4 wk lockdown due to rising cases ..

@Marquis de Potpourri @Joy no toile @Petit Sange @Linus @Violetty

 

[Jeeves]

strict controls for all people , anywhere in France

Are there restrictions for the number of people / households who can meet indoors? UK still doesn't allow households to mix indoors and only 2 households (max 6 adults) mixing outside, eg, unless they are a single adult household.
In other words, will it be illegal for multiple households to gather at the Chateau now?

 

[The Gardener]

Are there restrictions for the number of people / households who can meet indoors? UK still doesn't allow households to mix indoors (max 6 adults) and only 2 households mixing outside, eg, unless they are a single adult household.
In other words, will it be illegal for multiple households to gather at the Chateau now?

and what about people who are there? Are they allowed to travel home/leave the country?

 

[arthur]

and what about people who are there? Are they allowed to travel home/leave the country?

10km from home (control with ID papers); I 'll get info tomorrow morning. La Lande is on the radar

 

[la justice]

We are done.... Macron just said that from Saturday France will be in lockdown for 4 weeks.
FED UP!! RAS LE BOL. We are careful and respectful and because of some idiots like jarvis and co, we are back to square one.
I feel for the people who are sick, who have lost some loved ones and/or live in small flats.
Some of the covidiots who are already at Lalande will have to leave!!!! GOOD JOB. And some others won't be able to get there. Good job too, Bien fait!!!!
I don't know what Belgium will decide. There is a possibility that the elusive might try to come to la Lande for the lockdown.
I am fuming and I won't tolerate any party whatsoever. I can tell you that!!!!!

The court in Belgium ruled today that COVID measures are no longer in effect in 30 days

Belgium must lift 'all Covid-19 measures' within 30 days, Brussels court rules

The Belgian State has been ordered to lift "all coronavirus measures" within 30 days, as the legal basis for them is insufficient, a Brussels court ruled on Wednesday.

www.brusselstimes.com

 

[Viva La Loca]

I'm going to see what I can do with Police Nationale

Would they really take a complaint seriously?
In the UK the police have been busting parties / gatherings all over the place and the organisers have been given a £10,000 fine.
That's here though, not France. Different country, different laws and a positive proactive approach by the government towards vaccinating people.

 

[arthur]

Are there restrictions for the number of people / households who can meet indoors? UK still doesn't allow households to mix indoors (max 6 adults) and only 2 households mixing outside, eg, unless they are a single adult household.
In other words, will it be illegal for multiple households to gather at the Chateau now?

6 pple

 

[Pno]

Actually I hope Potty and Bag Head and their families come for 4 weeks. Philipa and his Hedgehog friends will be shown the road...

 

[arthur]

Would they really take a complaint seriously?
In the UK the police have been busting parties / gatherings all over the place and the organisers have been given a £10,000 fine.
That's here though, not France. Different country, different laws and a positive proactive approach by the government towards vaccinating people.

idem in France, they could be sued for party organizing