The Chateau Diaries #23 Turning viewers into tattlers

[Princess and the Pea]

Someone brought up Gustov, (well done Tattler, well done), and he said, "just a friend".

He brought up Madrid again, saying he hasn't had a holiday for "nearly two years" apart from UK visit, "which was really for work" and had only a few days break during the year.

Just implied about Tattler, bringing up no driver's licence. "Some people said am I banned from driving?". He's never had his licence.

My how I laughed when I read this. His whole life is one big holiday. Get up when he likes, work when he likes, put out viewing material when he likes. Michael if you're reading you need to wise up fella. The world has just had one of the worst years ever. People have lost their lives, their loved ones, their jobs, their businesses or their friends. Home schooling their kids, going to work in full PPE, waving at their ageing Mum through the window of the care home, watching a loved one's funeral on a laptop because of numbers being restricted, cancelling their wedding plans, children suffering mental health issues because of lockdown & Covid fears, old people stuck indoors day in day out for fear of catching Covid. You live rent free in a beautiful home, in a beautiful setting, where you can play at being a broadcaster, fly your drone, walk your lands, play with your dogs, hire a personal fitness trainer to come to your home, work in your greenhouse & are able to spend time with your family any time you want. So what do you do? Count your blessings, keep your head down, use the time fruitfully to work on your own design projects, hone your vlogging 'skills', broaden your contact base or study art on line? No. You decide that the best thing to do is to go on camera & boo hoo about your hard knock life & how you (allegedly) got ripped off for your work on designs to garner sympathy & more importantly £$£$. Then armed with other people's cash you go off on a jolly to Madrid & Paris. Because your life isn't one big holiday anyway you need another one? Once the world opens up, other people will be able to go off on their own adventures & they won't need to be sitting at home watching yours. Wise up fella, read the room.

 

[Mrs O]

Stop press ... stop press ... Stop press ... Stop press

Dutch newspapers are reporting that the producers of a new musical have finally been successful in recruiting the last remaining vacant role to their new show. The production, a musical version of the old Laurel and Hardy film ‘Sons of the desert’, is a combined effort between Abba and Webber-Rice. Producers had been searching throughout the world for someone to fill the last role in the show when an ASM, Tomas, had the idea to google ‘Camel’. The name of Philip Jannsen was prominent in many hits. He was finally tracked to a run-down decaying chateau in a poor, rural region of France. Producers said he was so difficult to track as the owner of the house, a 45 year old, single unemployed, immigrant woman, was constantly using the broadband connection to download items to YouTube.

Philip has, allegedly, known fame before as a member of a one-hit Dutch boy band, whose name no one can remember.

The Director was initially a little disappointed by the fact that Philip wasn’t a real-life acting camel, but had, allegedly a very good camel-toe. In desperation they agreed to hire the out of work actor/upholsterer/driver/musician as he demonstrated, at his virtual interview, that he could hold a good tune and his snorts were parfait! The part of the camel was initially a non-singing, non-speaking role but the director said he was open to offers!

Rehearsals will commence immediately and it is hoped that the opening show, in Amsterdam, with be next month - providing people adhere to Covid 19 regulations over the Easter period and further lockdowns are avoided.

When questioned, Philip told our reporter that he felt he had been saved from a fate worse than death. The call, he continued, from the producer, had given him an excuse to leave the chateau, where he had be forced, by the owner, to constantly film her throughout the day and night, drive her to Brocantes and climb into old cess pit under the building. All this work without pay ... just promises!
The producer, on hearing Philip’s plight, had immediately indicated that he would write another musical with Philip as the lead. His assistant politely pointed out that a musical had already been written of ‘Sunset Boulevard’!

 

[iglie]

Look at these people in the comments, they are as coocoo as their dear friend Stéphanie. They remind me of these people who fall for MLM scams.
Seriously though, the parasocial relationships/interactions that Stéphanie managed to establish with her community is a good indicator that those donations aren't going anywhere. I kind of pity these people who have nothing else going on in their lives that they felt this need to create this illusionary one-sided friendship with a woman they have never met

 

[MsPitstop]

So, Michael, despite having young Elias there especially to film him, still can't put out ONE vlog a week. Biddies defend his pathetic work attitude by saying that with Billy, Ryan and Shadie all vlogging it must be hard to get original content without filming over each other or the same thing.
In that case, here's some ideas for vlogs, Michael.
1. How the glass house is coming along after you and Elias spent two days clearing it out.
2. How the tomato seedlings are coming along after you showed us how to make tomato plants from tomato seed (still recovering from seeing mould).
3. The progress with finishing the cottage (this one is a joke, of course).
4. You could always spend half an hour trying to make a cup of tea - again.
5. Show us your Spode collection, and lament about the plates you still want to get for your collection (hint, hint).
6. Why not use your film set, er kitchen and do another cooking class for us, or has Shadie demanded that she's the only one that is now allowed to film a cooking vlog?
7. But my favourite, tell us all about your holiday to Madrid!

 

[ProfessorPlum]

Here's the number
WHATSAPP
+33 6 59 20 24 48
PHONE US
+33 (0)2 54 30 27 15

So I called. Before I could say Bonjour! there was a recording, Thank you for calling. No, it's not cancer! Sounded like a fight in the background, with Marie demanding Philip return her black negligée, Philip demanding Nati allow him to dress her in Stephanie's clothes, and Nati trying to stuff her red Longchamps bag with Diesel dog treats and a book of South African jokes snatched from Mummy's bedside table. When the cat's away, the mice will play!

 

[Hercule P]

1h42 minutes into the life of a money grabber

um, yeah, uh
- He needs money to carry on working on the cottage.
- Keeps saying he was and he is too busy. FGS busy doing WHAT?
- Wants to travel the world and make videos.
- Next week > 2 weeks holiday in Madrid. But listen.... he will take his art material to do some art work.
- He needs to relax and isolate himself to be able to do some art work (no art work: too busy)
- He needs to step away from everything to be creative, to have time to think.
- The château is great, but it is like being in a gilded cage. Of course, being in rural France without a driving licence does not help, does it! He will go to England for an intensive course to take it. After more than 5 years and a French sister-in-law, his French is not good enough.
- It is not safe to go to SJ's for Easter because of covid. (Yeh, Madrid is a covid-free bubble).
- Money donated during the live will go towards the gardener's cottage holidays in Madrid.
- Most of the money is gone.
Patreon: 5 000 € per month
Go fund me: 27 381€
+ the computer and all the live money.
- He wants quality, but (sorry bot) it does not come cheap, Ago etc
- No spare time because of Youtube and social media.
- Can't stop thinking of his next video all the time.
- He is doing a Franck Churchil to go to the hairdresser's in Rennes. 73 hairdressers in Laval.
Basmaignée to Laval: 31 km
Basmaignée to Rennes: 78 km
- What do you use the chapel for? Apart from pray, I dunno
- Christine McConnell is one of his patrons.
- Elias is single, but he likes Swedish girls, not really interested in French girls.
- MK is single, bot he is not really looking at the minute, bot you never know.
- What about Gustavo? We are just friends uh, so, yeah, um. Body language for the 2 of them! Elias's face says a lot too!
- Harry and Meg: if they are just trying to make money, then that's awful.
- He did the Harry Potter's test and he is Slithering.
- Billy has made many videos this month, he is putting me to shame. He definitely is.
- He leaves Elias to go to the loo. It was very quick, did he have time to wash his hands???
- He is constantly on camera: it is hard for his low self-esteem.
- He is allergic to nothing, APART from work
- People say "oh you are sucking your cheeks", but no. Thank you Tattlers
- A Karen from "out of Africa" movie!! I don't know
Bye Draco

 

[Clara Burnett]

Oh, Father O’Malley, may I plead for your guidance?
In researching the origins of our beloved doctrine of grabbing and grifting, I stumbled upon these messages that were send out to the public by our own mother Mary, our holiness Lady Isabelle, the birthmother of all we hold delightful. They seem to be completely contradictory to the scripture that’s been currently taught, in fact so contradictory they either entail a subliminal message I as a simple yet faithful follower can’t fully grasp or it’s a sign of those righteous trolls invading our universe. Could you kindly lead me into the right direction? How am I to interpret these awful temptations into this antithetical morality? Might her lesson be that hypocrisy is in fact a cleansing virtue?

 

[Gibson]

A study would do well to look at how Patreon enables the financial abuse or exploitation of elders. Lonely and isolated older adults are more susceptible to manipulation by scammers and opportunists. Age-associated brain changes can make people more trusting as they get older and that trust can be abused. Cognitive impairment also increases the risk of financial exploitation. It would be interesting to know how many of SJ’s 2,756 patrons are elderly.

I think it could be something to do with feelings regarding ownership and belonging.
The content is created based on laland family, their followers are called lalanders. They maybe want a piece of it and send in gifts, get thanked, receive cards as Patreons. In some respects they may get treated better than their own family does with acknowledgement and thanks...albeit they have to pay for it.
How many people physically write to their elderly family members or send a Thank you card for a gift received?
They see their laland family every week, sometimes more often. They present an amusing front, enjoy parties and luncheons, live a life vicariously through the screen.
Are they included in real life or only an afterthought?
They get to chat to others and directly to their created family on the live feeds.

From a psychological point of view it is an interesting perspective that people do seek out where they feel they belong, maybe create their own little family where everything is rosy and it costs very little.

They won't see that they are actually receiving very little in return because their needs are fulfilled and they get a feel good factor by joining in and looking forward to it.
Just like weekly soap operas that become addictive, so to does YouTube shows like this.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

The Story of Saint Tattle



And so it was in the year of our Lord 2020 that St Tattle was driven out of YT and into the wilderness where all manner of temptation was placed before him. Fed up with having his comments deleted on YT and being called a troll when he considered himself an enlightened seeker of the truth, he shaved his head and, wearing only a thong and a mask, fled into the wilderness for further enlightenment and salvation – away from the world of darkness, greed, and depravity. Like many, he had been seduced by the High Priestess of Greed, daughter of Sister IsaNotBelle, who had brought into this world a child whose emptiness and grasping ways were unprecedented and unparalleled in the history of mankind. When the great Covid plague fell upon the earth and threatened to wipe out its inhabitants, the High Priestess attempted to take possession of every soul on the planet and suck every penny out of them, by luring them into financial enslavement and turning their brains to mush. But, one day whilst watching the Shato Diarrhea, he had a vision and saw the truth – all the lies and terrible greed, and the emptiness of the High Priestess. He saw her for what she was - a scrounger and dirty grifter. Determined to escape, he fled into the wilderness to live the life of a hermit. But the High Priestess - angry that he had not succumbed to the cult of greed like so many other unsuspecting souls - sent the devil after him to make him pay for his sins…

Alone one night in his cave in the desert, St Tattle was suddenly confronted by terrible visions of temptation, sent to him by the devil and screened
on an enormous flat-screen TV: Scrounger Jarvis’s haven, complete with bush, snake plants, and dripping wet corridor, Teabag going for a dip with his toy boy in Madrid, Camel Toe tucking into an enormous pain au chocolat, and amateur ‘florist’ Marie sitting in her ‘studio’, with its many cobwebs and crumbling walls; the softly spoken and very gentle Selmar driving his toy tractor round the woods, Billy Spielberg tucking into an enormous roast turkey in the panelled dining room in Shato Basmania, with its overdoors, richly decorated fireplace, and trumeau, and Gnattie standing in the Salon des Cadeaux, an enormous antechamber to the local tip; Monster Munch and Barbie telling viewers they’d finished something they’d never started, No Life Ryan pretending to be an inveterate traveller and staying in cheap hotels, Fekface and the Balkan Peasant in their domaine viticole with a tower that looks like an afterthought … But, alas, he resisted all temptation and remained steadfast in his determination not to stray from the path of righteousness. He promptly took hold of a great rock and destroyed the flat-screen TV, which had cost the devil a small fortune on Amazon. The devil then disappeared like a frat in the wind and was seen no more.

Gradually, other tormented souls who had become disillusioned with the poor quality of the offering on YT, which seem to be centred around grifting and grabbing, joined St Tattle in his battle to fight the dark and evil forces that had been unleashed upon the world by the High Priestess of Greed. They too had been called trolls and had had their comments deleted on YT. They had tried to enlighten the brainwashed masses but to no avail - it was a hopeless quest. Soon there was a large community of Tattlers (devout followers of St Tattle) living in the caves. They spent their days writing the Tattle scriptures – large scrolls on which they poured our their grievances and expressed their dismay at what was going on in the land of YT, for they were grafters and not grifters. The scriptures were divided into threads or chapters, each of which bore a title thought up by one of the many witty and creative Tattlers.

Eventually, they constructed the Church of St Tattle, in honour of the founding father, St Tattle. Newcomers wishing to join the new religion were invited to unburden themselves of their sins and guilt in the confessional. Some of them had bought one or two coffees or had been lower tier patrons and had then been overcome by terrible feelings of guilt and shame. Once cleansed they too could partake in the writing of the holy Tattle scriptures, illustrated with unflattering images and examples of misdeeds committed by members of the Shato Greed Sect. Every day, the Tattlers gathered in the church to watch screenings of the vlogs pumped out like sausages in a meat factory by the various dodgy members of the network of scroungers, as they attempted to brainwash more people into giving them regular sums of money, so that they could live the life of Riley in their shatos without having to work. After a lot of sighing and expressions of disbelief or amazement, they would then express themselves in writing in the holy Tattle scriptures. This practice has continued to this very day and is continuing as I write this story, for the Tattlers are beacons of hope in a world of darkness, greed, and depravity.

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Natti must be very busy (or sick) at the moment... Will people understand something is not quite right ?

She still hasn't deleted a comment posted by our friend Clara 8 hours ago

And this one poted 40 minutes ago by someone else :

14 minutes ago (edited)
Oh come on Stephanie, as we say here, do you think we came up on the last load.... LOL - I have to say I do appreicate your enterprise, if I were in your shoes I'd do the same, you knew about that B&B, you wanted to stay there to check it out and used the opportunity of curfew to check in, and I am sure you agreed with the owner, to do a feature on your YT channel with your 125K subscribers and got a free stay in return, it's good business, just be open about it!


REPLY

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Teabag's back
From Spain
After all the hurt
And pain
All he wanted
Was wealth
And fame
To make a name
For himself
But all he's succeeded
In doing
Is boring people
Silly
Like his brother
Billy.

 

[lolander]

Michael Petherick says:
"As far YouTube revenues, they are non-existent....that's the reason why there's not much work going on in the gardener's cottage....so thank you, Patrons."

[Something is wrong with that statement, and no, it's not the grammar!
No income from YouTube, hence no work on the cottage, but that's what Patrons are paying you for Michael, to work on the cottage!
YOU SOB! (Yeah, ma trotter is a B!)]

There are no YT revenues, because there are no vlogs.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Michael Petherick says:
"As far YouTube revenues, they are non-existent....that's the reason why there's not much work going on in the gardener's cottage....so thank you, Patrons."

[Something is wrong with that statement, and no, it's not the grammar!
No income from YouTube, hence no work on the cottage, but that's what Patrons are paying you for Michael, to work on the cottage!
YOU SOB! (Yeah, ma trotter is a B!)]

 

[Clara Burnett]

Shall we really spruce up the gossip and consider a pregnancy? I mean, at her age it might be considered high risk, right? Could also explain Puppy Camel Toe’s trip to Holland, to inform his parents before the bombshell news lands…
Just try to imagine the additional party possibilities …showers, gender revealing…

 

[ProfessorPlum]

Or an allergic reaction to a nasty table setting

Honestly, like a child, looking for everyone’s attention, holding tight to her stuffed animal. If you’re ill, put. the phone. down.

 

[lalablahblah]

But he is going to Madrid to do ART .

I thought his name was Gustavo...

 

[peony89]

For non UK tatters, the stamp on the envelope from Beryl pictures Rodney Trotter from only Fools and Horses! Hahaha this is too funny

Thanks for sharing @Marquis de Potpourri

 

[FrenchGirl123]

Re. Amy and Marc and their link with Lalande (yes, I'm still in shock that they have joined the Chateau Mafia

Some thoughts :

1. For their very first video, Amy explained in their YT comments that they had to ask You Tube to deal with a "paid troll" who bombed their comments section with nasty stuff.
2. She said that they knew who was behind this "paid troll" and they had sent them a message.
3. She added that it was indeed very sad to see other Chateau owners doing this sort of things to "colleagues" instead of showing some solidarity.
4. At the time, I was still with Karen the Canadian Facebook page. Ma P. was one of the administrators. I tried a few times to post a link for Amy and Marc's new YT channel but it was systematically refused/deleted.

Questions :

- Is there any possibilities that this "paid troll" came from a chateau known for his Gardener's cottage restoration ?
- Is there any possibilities that Stephanie meeting Amy and Marc is to show she's taking some distance with someone who loves Madrid ?

It's becoming sooooo complicated !

 

[LonePalm]

I just watched Dan's vlog. He took the piss out of Stephanie's tardiness. Great! They were going plant shopping together so he told her a time half an hour earlier than needed but he was still kept waiting.

I am just so disgusted with her! I have watched her from the beginning and I have now unsubscribed to all of them with their greedy hands out. Her traveling around France now is just completely rude and irresponsible. I find her and her minions to be the same. I just can not believe people give them money hand over fist. What a complete waste, I noticed some of them complaining that they hadn't received the signed post card they are promised for being idiots, I mean patrons. But they shrug it off as she is "so busy"! What brain dead morons. Oh well I won't think about that today, I'll think about that tomorrow!

Thanks for the vent!

Teabag, who likes to go for an occasional dip in Madrid, said that he and Lustavo were 'just friends'...

Why does he not just OWN it? I mean honestly it's not a thing, we all know it and really don't care. He only makes it a thing, when he plays the game. But I guess I'm old and I don't understand.

 

[TheTaxInspector]

Maybe she's just received her first tax bill and was so shocked that she fainted...