The Chateau Diaries #161 Proceed with caution, Demented Diabolical Damsel of Disaster ahead!

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She goes to go great pains to tell Patreons that she saved for ages for this…ages. I mean the thought that those two compulsive Brocanters and addicted on-line antique addicts save one cent is a joke!
And what part of “no Patreon funds are ever used for anything that isn’t a fixture or permanent fitting” don’t we get! She repeats similar every second video just so we know that she’s meeting the Chateau Association tax parameters. It’s all word salad and bla, bla.
How the hell she talks of “Philip’s extraordinary eye” with a straight face is beyond me. He’s an unqualified, zero experience suburban Dutch child.
If the rumours are true that Larkin is considering selling his share, who can blame him ! PhiPhi’s domination of all matters LaLande is now officially a bloody disgrace and Jarvis needs a huge kick up her derrière for allowing this subterfuge.
Hallo fellow Tattlers, I've been away for some time, and on a Shittoo-free mode. I'm trying to catch up but the material is really overwhelming!
First of all my compliments to @Jules100 for her amazing tiles. She's indeed a great asset to Tattle and a great antidote to DJ creepy "art".
As there is too much to say, and everything quite infuriating, I'll only drop some comments on the last obscene Patreons video (thanks to the lovely Tattler who shared it here!) It is a very lucky thing (for SJ) that the crumbling dump has not been listed as a historical building, therefore is not subjected to any restriction. This way she feels free to alter it, change it, and also let it fall into ruin. The Fall of the House of Jarvis.
I think she should be reported for the damages she did to the building!
That "thing" that she calls The Grand Salon, at the beginning were two rooms, not so grand actually. In fact they were downstairs rooms close to the kitchen, hardly the place apt to host a Grand Salon. Daddy made them into one large room, very disproportiante, as the ceiling is rather low for such a large area.
What is she trying to do by adding that scraped and discoloured panelling? Turn it into Versailles? The place was never designed for panelling, nor that panelling can be adapted to those walls. The result can only be a monstruosity.
BUT, now we have the new Frank Lloyd Wright, who knows everything about architecture, decoration, design, projects, style, you name it.
Watching Squirrel paint-me-a nail- Boy frantically saying: we'll put this here, and that over there, and we can cut it and move this there, combining the poor old pieces like in a puzzle and showing his highly professional drawings with tiny furniture repro attached was like watching a lunatic during a seizure.
What's the point in slamming those panels on those crumbling walls? And why going on buying expensive furniture when they will be buried under the stones once the dump will fall eventually down? Or will Madame long be gone before that, taking with her the loot and the most precious items?

There is another thing I've always wanted to ask: Where is the main entrance in that place? Is there even anything that could be considered a main entrance with its hall? I've only seen a row of similar french windows, but not an entrance door. I mean, even a hut has an entrance door!
 
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manorandmaker
TFW you love photography and art and take your photos to another level, turning them into works of art you can hang proudly on your walls.
TFW you’re hanging out with cool creative people at a private chateau in France.
Want it all? Come away August 22 - 29 2022, feel refreshed, and get your creativity flowing while staying at a private chateau in the quintessential French countryside.
#artretreat #creativeretreat #retreatlife #chateau #chateaulife #frenchretreat #callingcreatives #creatives #art #makeart #photography #photographyretreat
1h

 
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I think it also a matter of getting Fanny out of the middle of their marriage and their lives and getting Larkin to grow up and cut ties with the perpetual little orphan princess who has been a financial albatross for years. And has already devalued the property with her half assed repairs and horrible decorating. Adding In the mess of the English Garden, Sir Snorts a Lot, and publicizing to the world via YouTube what poor shape the Dump is actually in and how they make it worse daily. Stephanfraudie is quickly closing in on 50 years of age, the little orphan princess act wore thin years ago.

was Sir Snorts a lot the tipping point that makes Larkin want out of the Dump? Is that why Fanny wants to get rid of Snorts? If Larkin leaves, Fanny will not have a back up financial/ psychological crutch to rely upon anymore.
If ever he wanted out, now would be the time, she has money coming in so no longer a guilt trip dependent, and she has a boy toy, so no guilt about leaving a lonely ex on her own...
 
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I don’t think Marie is as emotionally invested in the Dump as Larkin is/was financially and emotionally invested. I think it would be easy for her to walk away from LieLande.
According to Stephanie - Nick and Marie liked Stephanie’s taste in the main HMN so much they asked the charletain to decorate their cottage. Nothing done so far - the cottage bathroom was nearing completion at that point. In my mind if you inflate SJ’s ego with taste kudos points you get some serious deduction marks.
 
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manorandmaker
TFW you love photography and art and take your photos to another level, turning them into works of art you can hang proudly on your walls.
TFW you’re hanging out with cool creative people at a private chateau in France.
Want it all? Come away August 22 - 29 2022, feel refreshed, and get your creativity flowing while staying at a private chateau in the quintessential French countryside.
#artretreat #creativeretreat #retreatlife #chateau #chateaulife #frenchretreat #callingcreatives #creatives #art #makeart #photography #photographyretreat
1h

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FFS the length of those drab curtains is offensive
 
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Hi I'm a little behind watching the latest season (S07) of Chateau DIY on Channel 4. I download them so that I can watch them when I like. Someone might have already made a comment on this. In a recent episode that I watched, possibly Episode 5 or 6 as the last entry in the programme, they had "filmed" Stephamememe's birthday (seemingly a recent birthday). But no, both Marie and Selmar were there and all of them wore wreaths of leaves/flowers in their hair. So either "mememe" must have had Channel 4 film that birthday some time ago or else she herself kept the footage to give to them for this season. It looked too professional for La Lande filming!
It was Fanny's birthday in August 2020.
 
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I would be furious if I were Amaury. Nostril has ZERO design or carpentry skills and he is awarded credit that off the back of cousin, who indeed possesses these skills. A huge slap in the face.
Only at Lala-lande would we see Amaury, the panelling professional, waiting table for Philip, the waiter, and the waiter supposedly planning the panelling installation 🙄
 
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If ever he wanted out, now would be the time, she has money coming in so no longer a guilt trip dependent, and she has a boy toy, so no guilt about leaving a lonely ex on her own...
I was thinking about that too. A very short window of opportunity was opened and Larkin and his parents have a chance to recoup some money and get rid of the life force sucking poor little orphan Fanny. Larkin and family would have their lives back and can move forward. I have no doubt the Fanny factor has put a lot of stressors on Larkin, his parents, and his marriage. Antoine was bored at the Dump so I doubt he would miss LieLande.
 
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Waste of 29 minutes.
I felt punished... all that camera time on Snorts... boy was he excited to make like he owned the room..

Well it’s been quite an entertaining 24hrs.
We have discovered that ……
1. Nick is looking to sell his share of the shitoo. (Didn’t someone mention once he had closed his company down). Could be a reason why.
2. StephNie has slept with a CH4 producer which could of led to the outing of the Dutch boyfriend. That woman has no shame!
Mmmm I wonder what else is going to crawl out of the woodwork.
I sleep for 6 hours...
 
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I was thinking about that too. A very short window of opportunity was opened and Larkin and his parents have a chance to recoup some money and get rid of the life force sucking poor little orphan Fanny. Larkin and family would have their lives back and can move forward. I have no doubt the Fanny factor has put a lot of stressors on Larkin, his parents, and his marriage. Antoine was bored at the Dump so I doubt he would miss LieLande.
..and if they want to visit, renting a room for the weekend would be far cheaper than the long term financial drain going on now..
 
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I've just watched the latest patreon serving and wow, just wow. As you say what qualification does pip squeak have to plan all the work in the G Salon. We We We... Surely Cuz should be the one to plan and tell the silly people who pay for this tit about how it will all be built. What a Plonker he is, who falls for this tit. Oh well the higher you climb the harder you fall. I just wish someone would push him... Why does she give him so much power, has he quietly bought a share in the place. It (he) really is sickening.
This must be getting under Cuz's skin.....being told how to do his trade by Snorty, listening to Snorty increasingly use the 'Royal We', having to wait table and serve dinner to Snorty, watching Snorty spend his darling cousin Stephanie's money, working like a plough horse while Snorty swans around the shiteau painting his nails and polishing porcelain. Watch Amory pack up his tool shed and head by to the UK with Natti in tow (sooner than later) - then where will Fanny be???
 
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According to Stephanie - Nick and Marie liked Stephanie’s taste in the main HMN so much they asked the charletain to decorate their cottage. Nothing done so far - the cottage bathroom was nearing completion at that point. In my mind if you inflate SJ’s ego with taste kudos points you get some serious deduction marks.
If Stephanfraudies lips are moving, there is a more than 75% chance she is lying. I think Fanny was just complementing herself, as usual. i could not see Marie allowing Fanny to decorate her cottage. They have very different taste and styles.
 
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Squirrel is the King of LaLaLande !
If Fanny is going to get rid of him ...... good luck there !
So we went to the Givenchy auction and bought a Secretaire that was in his bedroom in his beach house ..... for the Aussies - its $ 8,894.10 as I write.
Perhaps a good investment for resale in the future but .... OMG the heating could have done with this "Birthday" money!
Oh Karma ... please come soon.
The hackles went up when she stressed how she saved for the 6K expenditure at the auction but
willy nilly she spent 4,800K on loo wallpaper. Karma will be divine!
 
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I'm sure he is. He usually stay far far away from any conversation with Larkin, as he knows he can not follow what's been discussed. As for Potty, Snorts knows how Stephanie Jarvis feels about him. He has to deal with it as all her previous make-do boyfriends had to.
oh come on… you know Potty & Snorts have at least made out! They’re always awkward around each other because they’re both pretending to be straight!!! And they’ve both been bearded by Fanny! She may be an oblivious queer peer!? An unwitting fag hag!?

watch Potty & Snorts whenever openly gay men are at the Shitshow! And watch how those gays snicker at Snorts & Potty!!
 
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Love the recipe ideas. Yesterday I made a cucumber tomato salad that was very good. I'm not much of a cook but enjoy fresh vegetables in the summer.
When everything is in season, the best way to eat them is the simplest. Cucumber and tomato salad, honestly, is the nectar of the gods.
 
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If he really is thinking of selling his share then I hope for his sake that she hasn’t devalued it by too much.
If Baghead Larkin is selling, then they have to get the property valued. Perhaps that's another reason why virtually all of the physical work on the shiteau has come to a halt, so that it doesn't impact any valuation and sale of Larkin's part of the ownership. If I were Marie, I'd prefer to sell our portion of the shiteau and put our money into a much better investment vehicle which we had full control over.
 
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I guess any Channel 4 video where Fanny appears should be relabeled from Chateau DIY to Chateau De LieLande JWDY, where “Jarvis will do you“ (if you are a producer).
TBH, I don't give much stock to the Chateau DIY series anymore. It ran its course, and the producers are scraping the very bottom of the barrel across chateaux. The HMN has been one of the more colorful bits lately. I mean, come on, extended segments of J-B and Erin the anesthetist trying to pull stones out of their moat?!
 
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This must be getting under Cuz's skin.....being told how to do his trade by Snorty, listening to Snorty increasingly use the 'Royal We', having to wait table and serve dinner to Snorty, watching Snorty spend his darling cousin Stephanie's money, working like a plough horse while Snorty swans around the shiteau painting his nails and polishing porcelain. Watch Amory pack up his tool shed and head by to the UK with Natti in tow (sooner than later) - then where will Fanny be???
Amaury is microchipped. He couldn’t escape from the Argentenian Bully without some special forces protection. I think Amaury is really tired of having to look at Sir Snorts a Lot’s punchable face 24/7, especially when Snorts is giving “instructions” and “orders” regarding Amaury’s work. I am waiting for the day that Amaury smashes a panel from the Grand Salon over Snorts‘ head.That would probably be the most top rated and most popular video ever on Chateau Diaries.
 
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