The advice thread for random problems

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Fridge freezers sounding funny and doesn't feel to cold, think it's on its way out? It's old. Is it worth getting someone to have a look? Would it be an electrician? Orrrrr buy new? Would have to factor in council collection which was £26 when I last used it a few years back, may be more now or they may not take it at all. In which case what do you do? So many questions 🤔
Might it just be blocked somewhere? I just did the pokey stick thing to see if that helps. Anything else I'm missing? Not much ice in there as I recently defrosted.
Maybe the gas has run out ? it’s cheaper to buy another in that instance .
 
Fridge freezers sounding funny and doesn't feel to cold, think it's on its way out? It's old. Is it worth getting someone to have a look? Would it be an electrician? Orrrrr buy new? Would have to factor in council collection which was £26 when I last used it a few years back, may be more now or they may not take it at all. In which case what do you do? So many questions 🤔
Might it just be blocked somewhere? I just did the pokey stick thing to see if that helps. Anything else I'm missing? Not much ice in there as I recently defrosted.
Freeze some water in a cup , then put a coin on top of the ice then put back in the freezer, if it has sunk down , you know it has defrosted a bit.

Appliances don't last long now . If you buy a new lne , they usually collect the old one for a fee. New ones are meant to be more energy efficient.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Freeze some water in a cup , then put a coin on top of the ice then put back in the freezer, if it has sunk down , you know it has defrosted a bit.

Appliances don't last long now . If you buy a new lne , they usually collect the old one for a fee. New ones are meant to be more energy efficient.
Thanks (y) yeah, I definitely think I'll shave a bit of my energy bill with a newer model.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Didn’t know that Tattle has this thread so I’m gonna ask away 🙂 (thank you for starting the thread, btw!)

I have difficulty in expressing what I think, and mostly what I feel. If I face a certain social complexities against someone else, I usually either get mad at them or to remain completely silent and refuse to talk to them for a few days until I can calm myself down and be rational.

lastly the thing that makes me infuriated the most is because the only role play friend that I have refused to continue our role play session using characters from certain tv shows/anime. I understand because he doesn’t like to write stories and reading them, he’s more of a visual type of person (prefers to see pictures, go to the museum more than reading a book). Though I understand the reason behind it, the thing that makes me disappointed is because when he decided to stop doing role play, is the same as the character’s life being taken away from me, as if they never existed. We’ve been doing role play on and off for 10 years and it felt surreal we are never going to have any role play session again.

I want to tell the person that I am mad and hurt, and that role play is a form of therapy for me (because I like to write and read) but I know I can’t push my hobbies to someone else. I know I’ll never have any role play session again with this person, but somehow it irks me to just sit still and not let them understand my POV (though I secretly wish that if they understood my POV perhaps they’ll continue role playing with me)


This kind of confusion from my end doesn’t only entail this one specific case, I also have difficulty in standing up for myself in a conflict. I try to understand their POV, but at the same time I want them to also know my POV without sounding like I’m pushing them around too much. By the end of the day I mostly just keep silent and let this anger inside me dissolved in a few days.
 
Didn’t know that Tattle has this thread so I’m gonna ask away 🙂 (thank you for starting the thread, btw!)

I have difficulty in expressing what I think, and mostly what I feel. If I face a certain social complexities against someone else, I usually either get mad at them or to remain completely silent and refuse to talk to them for a few days until I can calm myself down and be rational.

lastly the thing that makes me infuriated the most is because the only role play friend that I have refused to continue our role play session using characters from certain tv shows/anime. I understand because he doesn’t like to write stories and reading them, he’s more of a visual type of person (prefers to see pictures, go to the museum more than reading a book). Though I understand the reason behind it, the thing that makes me disappointed is because when he decided to stop doing role play, is the same as the character’s life being taken away from me, as if they never existed. We’ve been doing role play on and off for 10 years and it felt surreal we are never going to have any role play session again.

I want to tell the person that I am mad and hurt, and that role play is a form of therapy for me (because I like to write and read) but I know I can’t push my hobbies to someone else. I know I’ll never have any role play session again with this person, but somehow it irks me to just sit still and not let them understand my POV (though I secretly wish that if they understood my POV perhaps they’ll continue role playing with me)


This kind of confusion from my end doesn’t only entail this one specific case, I also have difficulty in standing up for myself in a conflict. I try to understand their POV, but at the same time I want them to also know my POV without sounding like I’m pushing them around too much. By the end of the day I mostly just keep silent and let this anger inside me dissolved in a few days.
I’m similar to you, in I avoid confrontation. Hence me needing the advice I asked for earlier hahaha! But, if you struggle standing up for yourself. Maybe tell this person via text? Or email? This way you can type, retype and make sure you word things exactly how you want them to be worded. Also, if/when they reply, you can rehearse what you need to say in order to effectively get your point across.
 
Didn’t know that Tattle has this thread so I’m gonna ask away 🙂 (thank you for starting the thread, btw!)

I have difficulty in expressing what I think, and mostly what I feel. If I face a certain social complexities against someone else, I usually either get mad at them or to remain completely silent and refuse to talk to them for a few days until I can calm myself down and be rational.

lastly the thing that makes me infuriated the most is because the only role play friend that I have refused to continue our role play session using characters from certain tv shows/anime. I understand because he doesn’t like to write stories and reading them, he’s more of a visual type of person (prefers to see pictures, go to the museum more than reading a book). Though I understand the reason behind it, the thing that makes me disappointed is because when he decided to stop doing role play, is the same as the character’s life being taken away from me, as if they never existed. We’ve been doing role play on and off for 10 years and it felt surreal we are never going to have any role play session again.

I want to tell the person that I am mad and hurt, and that role play is a form of therapy for me (because I like to write and read) but I know I can’t push my hobbies to someone else. I know I’ll never have any role play session again with this person, but somehow it irks me to just sit still and not let them understand my POV (though I secretly wish that if they understood my POV perhaps they’ll continue role playing with me)


This kind of confusion from my end doesn’t only entail this one specific case, I also have difficulty in standing up for myself in a conflict. I try to understand their POV, but at the same time I want them to also know my POV without sounding like I’m pushing them around too much. By the end of the day I mostly just keep silent and let this anger inside me dissolved in a few days.
I do not want to sounds harsh but this is my two pence. Your friend has been honest and said they no longer want to do a certain activity with you for their own reasonable reasons. They have been doing this with you for a decade and are now standing up for themselves and their feelings. I think you need to seek what you got from this activity elsewhere, find a local group or online forum etc. Pushing your feelings onto them is not fair, they haven't done anything mean to you and by telling them you feel mad and hurt will make them feel guilty and imo that it not fair.

You clearly know all this and I think ultimately you just want to feel heard. If tattle doesn't settle that, do you have another friend you could vent to, about your feelings not your friend.

Ultimately this friend has not said they do not want to be friends with you, just that this activity is not something they want anymore. And I am sure you could find someone else to fill this void for you. Don't fall out with your friend over their wishes.
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 3
I’m similar to you, in I avoid confrontation. Hence me needing the advice I asked for earlier hahaha! But, if you struggle standing up for yourself. Maybe tell this person via text? Or email? This way you can type, retype and make sure you word things exactly how you want them to be worded. Also, if/when they reply, you can rehearse what you need to say in order to effectively get your point across.
Thanks! We’ve been conversing via text messages because we live far from each other. I haven’t contacted him for anything other than small talks because I’m still trying to figure out what to say and feel 😂 thanks for the input though! 🙂


I do not want to sounds harsh but this is my two pence. Your friend has been honest and said they no longer want to do a certain activity with you for their own reasonable reasons. They have been doing this with you for a decade and are now standing up for themselves and their feelings. I think you need to seek what you got from this activity elsewhere, find a local group or online forum etc. Pushing your feelings onto them is not fair, they haven't done anything mean to you and by telling them you feel mad and hurt will make them feel guilty and imo that it not fair.

You clearly know all this and I think ultimately you just want to feel heard. If tattle doesn't settle that, do you have another friend you could vent to, about your feelings not your friend.

Ultimately this friend has not said they do not want to be friends with you, just that this activity is not something they want anymore. And I am sure you could find someone else to fill this void for you. Don't fall out with your friend over their wishes.
as much as I agree with this comment, I can’t find another group to do the hobby together because the character is his OC (original character) meaning that he is the creator, and the role can’t be passed to someone else.

probably because I’m torn between continuing the friendship or not, we don’t really have that much in common, but somehow still hangs together from time to time. That, and because I’m not sure whether I am allowed to feel mad about the situation.

Is it right for me to get mad though I understand his reason?

Is it right for me to repress this emotion and not talk about it to avoid further confrontation and to Not look like I’m being pushy?

Is it right of him to only share his opinion and not ask for mine?

Is it even right for me or do I even have the place, rather, to tell him why I’m disappointed knowing it wont change a thing?
 
as much as I agree with this comment, I can’t find another group to do the hobby together because the character is his OC (original character) meaning that he is the creator, and the role can’t be passed to someone else.

probably because I’m torn between continuing the friendship or not, we don’t really have that much in common, but somehow still hangs together from time to time. That, and because I’m not sure whether I am allowed to feel mad about the situation.

Is it right for me to get mad though I understand his reason?

Is it right for me to repress this emotion and not talk about it to avoid further confrontation and to Not look like I’m being pushy?

Is it right of him to only share his opinion and not ask for mine?

Is it even right for me or do I even have the place, rather, to tell him why I’m disappointed knowing it wont change a thing?
You have every right to feel how you feel. However pushing how you feel onto someone else to make them feel guilty or change their mind is not ok. Telling him how you feel without making him feel bad or guilty is ok but I don't think you are in that head space. Perhaps, 'Thank you for being honest with you, I will say I am upset about this but I accept it.'

I appreciate it will be hard to accept his character is gone, but how about starting something new with new people. This may help in distracting your mind and get over things.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 5
You have every right to feel how you feel. However pushing how you feel onto someone else to make them feel guilty or change their mind is not ok. Telling him how you feel without making him feel bad or guilty is ok but I don't think you are in that head space. Perhaps, 'Thank you for being honest with you, I will say I am upset about this but I accept it.'

I appreciate it will be hard to accept his character is gone, but how about starting something new with new people. This may help in distracting your mind and get over things.
Thank you for the input. Yeah, perhaps I’m too childish to even want everything to go within my expectations. 😞 since in the past I was also upset with him and when I told him how I feel he rejected my feelings immediately, so I’m afraid if I told him I’m hurt, he wont understand it and would see me as being pushy etc.
 
Didn’t know that Tattle has this thread so I’m gonna ask away 🙂 (thank you for starting the thread, btw!)

I have difficulty in expressing what I think, and mostly what I feel. If I face a certain social complexities against someone else, I usually either get mad at them or to remain completely silent and refuse to talk to them for a few days until I can calm myself down and be rational.

lastly the thing that makes me infuriated the most is because the only role play friend that I have refused to continue our role play session using characters from certain tv shows/anime. I understand because he doesn’t like to write stories and reading them, he’s more of a visual type of person (prefers to see pictures, go to the museum more than reading a book). Though I understand the reason behind it, the thing that makes me disappointed is because when he decided to stop doing role play, is the same as the character’s life being taken away from me, as if they never existed. We’ve been doing role play on and off for 10 years and it felt surreal we are never going to have any role play session again.

I want to tell the person that I am mad and hurt, and that role play is a form of therapy for me (because I like to write and read) but I know I can’t push my hobbies to someone else. I know I’ll never have any role play session again with this person, but somehow it irks me to just sit still and not let them understand my POV (though I secretly wish that if they understood my POV perhaps they’ll continue role playing with me)


This kind of confusion from my end doesn’t only entail this one specific case, I also have difficulty in standing up for myself in a conflict. I try to understand their POV, but at the same time I want them to also know my POV without sounding like I’m pushing them around too much. By the end of the day I mostly just keep silent and let this anger inside me dissolved in a few days.
Nothing stays the same forever and it's ok to mourn the end of situations.


I would summarise your point of view, in your example, you could mention that you feel disappointed and upset at the thought of your role play not continuing, and leave it at that unless they ask you to elaborate.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2
thank you to those that read or gave advice :) I appreciate it . Eye is still twitching on and off . Not continuously . Going to go to Dr friday if it persists.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
If you read the thread about neighbours you will know the "lady" next door keeps cutting my plants the 2nd they peek over the top of our fence. they are not hanging over, just peeking

Housing tell me to report it and I do, but get absolutely no feedback, its like "cut" I report... cut again I report, absolutely nothing back from my reports . How long does this go on for, is it worth reporting anymore. Surely its just manners to reply to my emails with at least some feedback?
 
  • Wow
Reactions: 1
Just got my shiny new fridge delivered from argos :giggle: and the old one uplifted by them at the same time. Will have to do some shopping today now :D
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 4
I have a question for larger ladies like myself (UK 18)
I have been blessed with a funny shape, so nice round full tummy, basically I look permanently pregnant 🤰 due to being larger, its not lower stomach its from right under my chest right down, I think apple shape is usually the term. I see some models same size and bigger but they seem to have flat tummys or a really snatched waist (think a larger Marylin) so they basically suit everything as the waist carrys them.

Ok the actual reason for post, I find I should not be wearing tigh fittings tops etc as they don't overly flatter so tend to go for oversized tshirts etc but I am CONVINCED these make me look massive!
What do you larger ladies with BIG tums tend to go for? Do you find bigger clothes add lbs? I bought one of the oversized shirts (totally in fashion) with the intention of wearing a fitted vest underneath, the shirt swamps me, should probably mention I'm 5'2 also, I ordered 3 different sizes just makes me look huge.
I need to move on from leggings 🤦‍♀️ Wide fit trousers, clouttes all again look ridiculous, but the same style on a teeny tiny size 6 looks amazing! The clothes just hang, about 10sizes too big but it works.
 
I have a question for larger ladies like myself (UK 18)
I have been blessed with a funny shape, so nice round full tummy, basically I look permanently pregnant 🤰 due to being larger, its not lower stomach its from right under my chest right down, I think apple shape is usually the term. I see some models same size and bigger but they seem to have flat tummys or a really snatched waist (think a larger Marylin) so they basically suit everything as the waist carrys them.

Ok the actual reason for post, I find I should not be wearing tigh fittings tops etc as they don't overly flatter so tend to go for oversized tshirts etc but I am CONVINCED these make me look massive!
What do you larger ladies with BIG tums tend to go for? Do you find bigger clothes add lbs? I bought one of the oversized shirts (totally in fashion) with the intention of wearing a fitted vest underneath, the shirt swamps me, should probably mention I'm 5'2 also, I ordered 3 different sizes just makes me look huge.
I need to move on from leggings 🤦‍♀️ Wide fit trousers, clouttes all again look ridiculous, but the same style on a teeny tiny size 6 looks amazing! The clothes just hang, about 10sizes too big but it works.
I have always been cautious of my belly and I tend to go peplum, or an underbust wrap top that flows out at the bottom. I find a v neck is very flattering as well.

I feel like I have quite a long body, and have discovered New Looks maternity range give a longer body, this is one of my current favorites - https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/womens-clothing/tops/maternity-black-textured-wrap-peplum-top/p/816275101?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8O-VBhCpARIsACMvVLPqsAlK2c57X-kViZtenLb0ER7hk0t2DNKlVlU95jHKXnY7WnccusoaAhl1EALw_wcB
 
  • Heart
  • Like
Reactions: 2
I have always been cautious of my belly and I tend to go peplum, or an underbust wrap top that flows out at the bottom. I find a v neck is very flattering as well.

I feel like I have quite a long body, and have discovered New Looks maternity range give a longer body, this is one of my current favorites - https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/w...0ER7hk0t2DNKlVlU95jHKXnY7WnccusoaAhl1EALw_wcB
Oh yes that is gorgeous 😍 I would definitely wear that out. New look & h&m are my go to shops, I got 3 peplum items from new look they look great.
I struggle I suppose cause I want to follow the trends but sometimes they just don't work.
What do you recommend trouser wise, I am SUPER casual and have sensory issues so don't like jeans or tight waistbands hence the leggings.

P.s edit to add my mum also suggested trying a maternity range 😀 as I'm pretty slender else where just my stomach and bum take all the weight.
 
Oh yes that is gorgeous 😍 I would definitely wear that out. New look & h&m are my go to shops, I got 3 peplum items from new look they look great.
I struggle I suppose cause I want to follow the trends but sometimes they just don't work.
What do you recommend trouser wise, I am SUPER casual and have sensory issues so don't like jeans or tight waistbands hence the leggings.

P.s edit to add my mum also suggested trying a maternity range 😀 as I'm pretty slender else where just my stomach and bum take all the weight.
Difficult for me on trousers, I live in skinny jeans. But what about a lose fit elasticated waist black trouser, or a leather look legging or even a jegging.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.