The advice thread for random problems #7

[Former_Antelopee]

My friend has loads of health issues and always gets nurofen (ibuprofen and codeine) just tells them she has no health issues

 

[pinkmug]

Hi everyone, I'm jumping in here because I need a bit of advice and I've nobody left to ask IRL. My friend got a labrador puppy back in October, we have been friends for 15 years. He had the dog about 3 months before he was told the dog was unable to continue living in his current accommodation. The landlord basically said the dog goes or they both go due to neighbours complaining about barking and his roommate was allergic to him. In January, he talked me into taking the dog. I find it very difficult to say no or put myself first because I am a people pleaser due to autism. I have struggled since day one. I thought I would manage because so many people say how amazing dogs are and how they couldn't be without them. I only heard positive things. I have tried and tried, spent hundreds of pounds on training but he is so energetic and I am so stressed. I cannot do anything, I can't sit down to have a meal, I can't read to my toddler, I can't play with my toddler, leaving the house is an army mission. I am shattered, stressed and really not enjoying this at all. He is now 11 months old, absolutely gorgeous but way too much work and I am not coping. I have had three heart attacks (I'm only 35) with the most recent in may this year and have been diagnosed with angina so the constant high blood pressure from the stress is making me ill. He has hurt my 2yo a couple of times stealing food from her and knocking her over, never intentional hurt but hurt all the same. It's got to the point where I have told my friend that I can't do it and he needs to be rehomed with someone who can give him everything he needs. I am too ill to manage this. Friend has gone ballistic, blocked me on everything and won't speak to me. He is angry with me for not coping and is furious that "his dog" needs to go. He can't take him back because of his circumstances so I have suggested a rescue which got me blocked.

Am I being a dick? I have tried for 6 months and all it's done is stress me out and upset me. I cry most days because I don't know what to do. I'm not a monster, just not a dog person and the kids are miserable too.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

It's not your fault he hasn't done due diligence before getting the puppy, he should have checked with his roommate, made sure the puppy could be trained and socialised enough to live in shared accommodation. You've done your best but your health and life clearly isn't suitable for a dog, time to rehome the puppy. He deserves a home where his needs are met and you deserve peace. If your friend wanted the dog this badly he could have moved and taken the pup with him. He just wants visiting rights without the responsibility. Sadly the dog issue may have showed his true colours. Glad you decided on a deadline, I hope the dog finds the right home and you have your peace of mind.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I'm all for petty reporting but I'd need to know why I'd be reporting him first!

I have a lamb bone left over from Sunday. I can't bear putting it on the food bin when it could feed some hungry foxes. But I don't want the foxes to crap all round my house like they did when they got into my food bin last time and I know you're not supposed to encourage them. Plus I think I have rats living under my decking (one came up the neighbour's loo while he was sitting on it) and I really don't want to encourage them either. What should I do?

Take it to a nearby field or your least favourite neighbour

 

[conrea37]

Has anyone ever done one of those location/date constellation maps as a gift? If so where did you get it from? So many mixed reviews so I'm unsure where to order from.

 

[Jas28]

You might not think you are stressed but it is stress that causes it. My SIL only got it under control once her daughters life settled down.
And Mr Lolz were told by his GP to leave his first wife and when he did the urticaria disappeared

Yeah I suppose I have internalised stress that I don’t even notice it because it’s just a part of daily life. I overthink massively and worry a lot so there’s that.

 

[boatofbubbles]

She was under there care, so yes they rang me but surely it's their duty to make so she was okay

 

[Snippysnips]

Anyone know where I can buy space type toys for age 3? It's for the Xmas toy gift tree from Dunelm mill so it will need to be something with at least age 3 on them otherwise I don't think I can hand it in, so far the few things I've seen have age 5/6+ on them

 

[Kim Mild]

Your comment made me laugh. Don't worry, I am not a doormat. I have spoken with my dad, he doesn't want to celebrate another weekend, it's his birthday after all. And neither do I. I was just wondering what other people's opinions were.

I don't want to move it as it affects more people than just my brother and his wife. They can go away any time of the year, as their children are young adults. Plus it's not just a weekend, they have booked a whole two week trip, so the only viable other option would be the more expensive bank holiday weekend.

I knew something like this would happen, I'm convinced my brother is a narcissist for a multitude of reasons, but one reason in particular is he likes to cause disruption when its someone else's (in the immediate family) birthday, wedding, other special occasion, Christmas etc.

Here's some examples. So he will turn up late to birthday meals and keep everyone waiting, he will park somewhere that only has an hours parking and make a fuss that he needs to rush off through the whole meal, if he turns up early he has text me before and said there's no booking (busy day, big group, causing panic) turns out it's a lie, he will not RSVP to weddings or send menu choices, if it's afternoon tea and cocktails he will refuse to order and will just sit there making it awkward (he can afford it) , he will declare he's ordered and paid for a special birthday cake for a big birthday but turns up with no cake. He's previously agreed to coming away and splitting costs, let me book then denied it all leaving me to pay for it all. Christmas get together, announces he's broken down and is waiting to be towed, turns up an hour late in the car that was towed with no further explanation. You will invite him and his family on days out, casual lunches etc and he will say he will get back to you ( he doesn't), or he simply ignores you, he then either blames you for not reminding him, or declares you haven't invited him and that he is always left out. There's so many more (no wonder his first marriage didn't last).

He is exhausting and you can never win.

PS: He's not the golden child. He takes but doesn't give.

I did wonder if your brother may be a bit of a narcissist. My in laws always book holidays on their family members birthdays too.

 

[becca7721]

So I’ve had a demand for electric bill. It’s for over £6000. I don’t know if it’s right or not as I cannot access my meter. Says pay within seven days or court action. Says they’ll support me, i rang and they told me “go online”.

The letter is dated 31st December.

Then it says if not paid in full within 28 days default registered.

i don’t understand why it’s gone up so much, Ive been paying them! Surely the jobcentre will let me use money incoming for this?

Theres been no letters here since last Friday due to weather.

Im really scared. Who sends a bloody letter like this before a bank holiday??

 

[chickhicks86]

Yeh I am so hopefully

Are you still with us?

 

[Captainmouse]

Can anybody recommend a pair of warm but stylish gloves? I get chilblains every year and I’m struggling to find gloves that actually keep my hands warm.

Not these exact ones (just using the image) but I have some from outdoor/ski type shops. https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81Fqierw4SL._AC_SL1500_.jpg

 

[HoGi]

I am after a sim only contract, but only 30 day minimum term, as I need to update my phone at some point too.

There is a long story as to why I cant do both now. Anyway, which company would people recommend?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Only just found this thread but have a random problem so hoping for some advice! Mine and my bfs house has a large gravel driveway, we didn’t put it down, the previous owners did and they did a massive bodge, didn’t put any membrane done and it’s literally weee central! Also, the neighbourhood cats see it as one giant litter tray! Our cats don’t go there, but neighbours have seen other cats from the area and it’s getting to be a real problem! The half bury it in the gravel, you can’t see it and well, you can imagine it’s a pain and not fun having to go digging around in the stones to fish it out….the plan eventually is to pull up the stones weedkill properly, lay a membrane and put the stones back, topping them up at the same time as it needs more…..loads of people have gravel driveways, but do they all have this problem? Does anyone have a gravel driveway and have this issue or have any ideas/thoughts as to how we can stop it being used as a giant litter tray ideally we’d concrete/resin it, but we can afford that any time soon so it’s not an option sadly and we just have to work with what we’ve got and can afford! Any advice very much welcome!!!!

We have shingle/gravel and definitely don’t have this issue.
My suggestion would be to set a weekend aside and lay down membrane yourselves. It’s hard work but a lot cheaper than paying someone to do it

 

[Serene Serena]

I have a problem where Royal Mail have erroneously collected a parcel left on my doorstep that was a delivery for my partner and mistaken it for my return to very.

We don’t even have the same surname so postie clearly didn’t bother to check he had taken the wrong item, we also didn’t know the other package had been delivered as no one knocked the door.

I contacted Royal Mail and they said they would try and intercept the parcel but they haven’t and now it’s been returned to very.

I’ve rung very and explained the situation and that we need the parcel back urgently as it’s for works going on in the house. They said I will have to wait 30 days to see if it gets returned to me, I’ve explained but they won’t budge.

Does anyone know what I can do here? They are effectively withholding my partners property and won’t even try and find it to send back

Order the item again from Very, and when the wrongly returned item arrives, return it.

I bought an expensive bag from Very and the day it arrived, the bastards reduced it to half price. I ordered the reduced price one and sent the full price one back. It’s a faff but it was worth it.

 

[Snippysnips]

You can get ceramic shampoo to keep topping up the coating. For drying you can get the worst off with a squeegee or blow it off with a leaf blower if you have one, then get a proper car drying towel. Something like this.

Thanks, I'll look into the towel, so am I supposed to be using the ceramic shampoo to keep topping it up then? I have autoglem stuff that I've been using as I didn't know that, it's my first car an I just got it a few months back, they didn't really tell me anything about upkeep, just that it has the coating on it

 

[Captainmouse]

Well consensus is

Vet Q&A: How can I stop dog pee killing grass?

Our top tips!

www.pdsa.org.uk

 

[boomska]

I recently re-pierced my ears at home and i want them to heal nicely! Has anyone got any good advice on how to heal/look after them? Preferably cheap aswell lol

 

[boatofbubbles]

I really don't understand this. How could your daughter not have been aware of her surname when she was what, 3 or 4 years old? At that age I knew my full name and address.
You seem to have a history of problems with the school so I'd suggest popping in for a friendly chat.

Because dad died when she was around 18 months, due to backlog of covid. Inquest was later than should have been, meaning actual death certificate etc. Was later than should have been so she only known herself as new surname. New surname was used around her before it became legal. Couldn't get deed poll until official death certificate, and even after that it took time for myself to come round to things.

 

[yankydoo]

I found a set of keys on the pavement of the road I live on. It has a car key, perhaps a house key and a fob. I tried the car key on the road to see if it opens any cars of the same make of car but it didn’t. Husband put it on the neighbourhood group chat but no one has replied. There isn’t a police station here I can drop it to. What shall I do?

 

[becca7721]

Oh I see
Can you open an online banking account and have it paid into there and then pay those that you owe?

I’m worried it might be fraud? I’ve been accused repeatedly and it stays on your file, even when innocent, took months for me to get UC payment due to repeated checks for fraud being done. I’m still paying back money THEY (DWP) overpaid me due to THEIR mistake at 20% of total amount I was allowed with transition protection.

I hope that makes sense!