The advice thread for random problems #7

[Serene Serena]

Can the executor help?

I wonder if the executor can pay the debts on behalf of @becca7721, seeing as the money has been left for her to do just this?

 

[mani]

I have done, and I hope your friend is okay and won't send this awful man any more money.

Thanks, I've just told him and I think that deep down he knows it's all been a scam but this has just confirmed it. I felt awful having to break it to him but it had to be done. I just hope this is the end of it now!

 

[chickhicks86]

Them is the charity support workers. I do want the money use for debts! Im worried the DWP will say I must live on it instead and it will already be gone.

In that case you wont have a problem as long as you have clear evidence that you have used the money to pay debts. You will have to declare the amount when it enters your account, and again when it has gone.

 

[littlepup]

At my big old age I should know the answer too this I'm 37 but what cooking trays are the best ones to use I'm after long lasting ones ive seen some by ninja with the 10 year warrant the other half is chomping at the bits to get them but there very spenny I'm just at a lost of which one to buy since wilko closed down and my local dunelm burning down I'm not to what to do as it's costing me a fortune in kitchen foil

It depends on what you’re cooking. If it’s frozen chicken nuggs and jacket spuds any old thing with a non stick will do. If you’re making homemade pastry dishes, oozy contents stuff, you’ll benefit from a better quality heat distribution and non stick.

Cheap or expensive try to use plastic, silicone or wood utensils and to cut down aggressive scrubbing, try a wash and reuse silicone mat. Amazon have a pack of 3 for about £10. In fact buy these first and you can probably keep your old ones. Keep one mat for sweet and one for savoury as they don’t take up flavours really but just in case.

 

[BearOnChair]

We have a new employee who presents as male and we've been referring to as he for their first couple of shifts. On the new starter form they ticked female, which we just noticed.
My question is how's best to ask about it? I feel we should ask what's their preferred pronouns but to be honest it's new territory to us so I don't know how's best to approach it or even if it's necessary?

 

[Snippysnips]

If someone seems uninterested whenever you have ethnic hairstyles and not straight hair would you say they don’t like you at all? Gone on a few dates and he can’t even look at me when I have natural textured hair.

Aside from that does everything else go well? I mean it does seem weird about the hair but in general are there any red flags or does he seem fine?

If there doesn't seem to be any other red flags or weird behaviour then maybe he's just strange about hair, but I do agree with above that it seems a strange thing to have

 

[Tamij]

So I told Mr Lolz about the whole win. I just felt too bad. Bless him he was so happy for me. But I swore him to secrecy and then gave him £2k.
I feel so much better. I could nevwr live a life of crime just keeping this “secret” was too stressfull

Well congratulations and I hope you enjoy the spends! X

 

[BearOnChair]

Just pull the person aside and ask what their preferred pronouns are.
You don’t have to ask if they are male / female or if they prefer he / she.
Literally say “I’m sorry I never asked but what’s your preferred pronouns?”

Thanks, it's all sorted now.
I was worried about doing the wrong thing and probably over thinking it.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

@ThisIsMyDragName I have no idea if this works for you or not, but I'm taking creatine. It's like I'm alive again. There is more energy, everything is more fun and it takes away the brain fog. I do have to say that there's a lot about it but read up and do what works for you. I can't take it every day so I cycle on and off. It works better than the Prozac my dr prescribed

I don't know if this is you either but my friends and I figured out that the rage is when we're ovulating. Where it was wearing lots of red and wanting to jump anything with a pulse, our body now throws in blind rage. Like it wants us to know that any baby making is now

And I can't help you with bladder control. But I do know that I can go to my dr and they can refer me to hospitals for a short course. Need to do that soon but I'm not there yet. I do know that there is special underwear for it. Like period underwear is supposed to absorb tiny leaks of a long time. But this is supposed to take up quick blasts and it helps with the smell. If you buy those and wash those, those things never dry. But these days there are really cute adult diapers that feel soft and look and feel like underwear. If you don't need it every day but just want to be extra sure for things like a day out, the throw aways are really good. I'm usually okay but not too long ago I was out for a day, sneezed too hard and forgot to cross my legs. That made me hyper insecure so now I'm camp better safe than sorry

Thanks, this is so helpful! I looooove a supplement so I will look into creatine. I do have access to a pelvic physio and I may start medication. I do sometimes use the underwear, my major issue is at night. I do have some stress incontinence issues but it’s more a nighttime problem for me so the underwear are helpful for that!

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Thanks, this is so helpful! I looooove a supplement so I will look into creatine. I do have access to a pelvic physio and I may start medication. I do sometimes use the underwear, my major issue is at night. I do have some stress incontinence issues but it’s more a nighttime problem for me so the underwear are helpful for that!

I will just caution about creatine - if you don’t exercise it will make you fat. People who go to the gym or play sports use it. Although it’s been banned in use of pro sports

 

[Codiaeum]

I wonder if anyone has any ideas what my skin irritation could be? I have a itchy sensation within my skin , it's on an area of my left arm and on my left thigh. It is red , probably due to me scratching, and small red spots tend to appear within the itchy area. This is about the third time Ive had this over the last 15 years or so . It only ever happens when it has been hot and then it just disappears like magic after a while. The first time it happened, I got some cream from the gp but they didn't really explain what it was .
Someone I know suggested shingles which I suppose is possible

If you can try to take a picture of it and use the Google Lens function to find similar pictures and see what other symptoms are described. I've had more success with that in the past couple of years than going to a doctor who maybe will prescribe hydrocortisone but fail to give me a diagnosis.

I tend to get very itchy skin when it gets hotter and sunnier outside, but not with the red spots you describe (or at least not so many that I would count them as a key symptom) - for me I know it is a mildish form of sun allergy, which goes away after a while (allergy medication helps a lot with the itching). I don't know if I'm simply lucky and don't get the red spots you describe though, I bet there's a lot of variation as with anything skin-related.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Will do! The vinegar didnt work, just saw it on the camera an hour ago having a wizz but frustratingly, it was on the lead and she allowed it. If I thought one of them would cooperate id take one of the goats to her house and let it pee everywhere

Just have a chat with her. It never occurs to me that my dogs can’t pee on a bit of grass.

 

[cowtastrophe]

I never thought of that, I had thought because I was naturally waking then my body deemed I had enough rest, maybe my sleeping isn't as great as I am thinking it is



I do have blackout curtains, they do still let light in around the edges so it's never still proper dark in the mornings but maybe I'll look into some lighter curtains to brighten the room better in the mornings



Honestly am not expecting to just wake up an have boundless energy, I just would prefer my body didn't feel such a dead weight in the morning that it's actually affecting my mood having to physically get out of bed

I've found my sleep has improved since I got a silk eye mask and Loop ear plugs.

 

[BearOnChair]

Not sure if this is the right place but I was given a 24k gold chain for my 18th by my dad, a "few" years ago now.
I've never worn it, it's just not my style. My dad has since died and I'm thinking it would be better to sell the chain and get something I'd actually wear to remember my dad.
How's best to go about that? I don't know if I trust all these cash my gold companies but is it something a proper jewellery shop would buy off me?

 

[Bread]

Martin Lewis says, go for what you can pay now, not what you think you might be able to pay in a few years.

I'd go with 5 or so years and just ignore rates once I've chosen!

 

[SoulDestroyer]

I feel like I've done the wrong thing, but not sure why. I borrowed a small garden tool from an acquaintance who said to keep the item as they would be able to get another. Well, silly me, returned the item, saying thanks very much for the loan but didn't want them to be left without, so I'm returning it. This happened within the space of a few hours. This was met with a rude, kind of haughty response. I don't know what I did wrong. I thought I was being nice by not putting the other person out.
Would anyone be offended if someone gave you back something that you'd told them to keep?

 

[Magwitch]

This is really an odd one (even for me) a pigeon flew into my window, it survived. It didnt seem injured maybe just stunned. Anyways after a couple of hours it was still just in my garden so I managed to track down it's owner. Unfortunately he cant collect tonight, so im pigeon sitting for the night, im terrified it might die in my care. A bit wary of birds but I don't want anything bad to happen.

That’s really lovely of you to go to that trouble. I hope it’s survived the night?

 

[Snippysnips]

.

Is it 7 days or 28????

Ive no idea how it is so much it was £800 a year ago. I can’t even check becasue their bills are now all in light green and I’m colourblind. I know it reads in reverse to other meters due to age.

From how I read it, they want a reply from you within 7 days, either email or a phonecall an then you have 28 days to pay

Also if you are colourblind you will need to say to them to send out the letters in a colour you can read, they can't send letters out that's no use, this is how they say on them that they can send it out in Welsh, or Braille, but you need to inform them of it, am pretty sure it would be against the law to send a letter that a person would struggle with, am dyslexic so therefore I have more spaced out letters with words an the lines are spaced out more so I can read my letters

 

[Candytuft]

Did you see my post just above yours? I think ao.com should work (if it delivers to your area). I know how overwhelming all of this feels. I’m so much better at other peoples problems!

I'm looking now. Thank you.
I'm the same ! It's maddening.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Are they a good friend? I’d do it to be honest, it’s not a big ask.

It's not but I don't want to keep doing it in the future when her relative lives a few mins away, as in basically on the same street. I'd also be more happy to do it if I wasn't working and also have to walk my dog before and after work