call them asap! it avoids a higher fine but also avoids them potentially changing the offence to a failure to give driver’s identity (happened to a friend of mine when she forgot to return the slip). they should be pretty understanding if you explain it’s on the way back.I got a speeding ticket (I know, I know) and it said send back within 28 days or £1000 fine and other stuff. Filled it out, my husband said he'd post it. Fine.
Ive just found it in the car. 28 days is tomorrow. I've shoved it in the post box with a first class stamp on. Am I going to get a £1000 fine?! Can / should i call them?!
I've been driving 15 years and never had a speeding ticket.
I haven't got £1000
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
If you posted it today the PO will frank it as that date, so technically you are within the time frame. You could then argue it was delayed in processing their end if you do get a fine or feign ignorance and say you assumed 28 working days. Bloody husbands!!.I got a speeding ticket (I know, I know) and it said send back within 28 days or £1000 fine and other stuff. Filled it out, my husband said he'd post it. Fine.
Ive just found it in the car. 28 days is tomorrow. I've shoved it in the post box with a first class stamp on. Am I going to get a £1000 fine?! Can / should i call them?!
I've been driving 15 years and never had a speeding ticket.
I haven't got £1000
Soooo I'm getting to a point where I'm feeling super bad about my low performance at my job.
First issue - I'm super bored with the topic matter, I've been doing the same stuff for 3.5 years now and it's just not a challenge any more.
Secondly, I'm suffering from depression and it just makes me feel like there's simply no point in doing anything about it. I'm already on anti- depressants and in therapy but (and that's a general life problem) I don't feel like anything ever changes - that NIN song "Every Day Is Exactly The Same" expresses it perfectly. I feel like I've been in a holding pattern since the start of the pandemic, and nothing every changes and I hate it. But nothing feels right to change either. I have been thinking about moving (abroad), switching jobs, getting rid of my whole old life basically, but I'm unconvinced it will do anything because at the end of the day I'm taking myself with me.
Loneliness is a big topic as I WFH and don't have any work colleagues close by where I could meet one or two days a week. I now have a roommate but we don't talk much - we get along but it's not like we're friends. I can feel the difference when I meet friends, but then I feel bad because it means leaving work early(ish) to meet them because I don't have set hours so I tend to start late and my depression is giving me sleep issues and my anti- depressants make me tired AF so I have a hard time getting up in the morning - so it's a thing of feeling bad if I do meet friends (bc of not working enough) and feeling bad if I don't (bc then I feel very lonely). And of course they have their own life and their partners and I'm just painfully single.
I just don't get consistent performance from myself any more and it's so tiring, neither at work nor in my private life. I have some days where I feel like the old me, where I'm interested in my work and the code just flows, but there's more days where I just stare at the screen and nothing makes sense any more. I hate it, I really do. Even when I had nothing going for me, I could still rely on my brain - seems like that is also leaving me in the lurch. Some days it feels like I should really just quit life entirely and I know that that is not normal at all. It's just tiring to be fighting against myself all the time (and I mean literally my whole life, I don't remember a time when I wasn't depressed to some degree).
First issue - I'm super bored with the topic matter, I've been doing the same stuff for 3.5 years now and it's just not a challenge any more.
Secondly, I'm suffering from depression and it just makes me feel like there's simply no point in doing anything about it. I'm already on anti- depressants and in therapy but (and that's a general life problem) I don't feel like anything ever changes - that NIN song "Every Day Is Exactly The Same" expresses it perfectly. I feel like I've been in a holding pattern since the start of the pandemic, and nothing every changes and I hate it. But nothing feels right to change either. I have been thinking about moving (abroad), switching jobs, getting rid of my whole old life basically, but I'm unconvinced it will do anything because at the end of the day I'm taking myself with me.
Loneliness is a big topic as I WFH and don't have any work colleagues close by where I could meet one or two days a week. I now have a roommate but we don't talk much - we get along but it's not like we're friends. I can feel the difference when I meet friends, but then I feel bad because it means leaving work early(ish) to meet them because I don't have set hours so I tend to start late and my depression is giving me sleep issues and my anti- depressants make me tired AF so I have a hard time getting up in the morning - so it's a thing of feeling bad if I do meet friends (bc of not working enough) and feeling bad if I don't (bc then I feel very lonely). And of course they have their own life and their partners and I'm just painfully single.
I just don't get consistent performance from myself any more and it's so tiring, neither at work nor in my private life. I have some days where I feel like the old me, where I'm interested in my work and the code just flows, but there's more days where I just stare at the screen and nothing makes sense any more. I hate it, I really do. Even when I had nothing going for me, I could still rely on my brain - seems like that is also leaving me in the lurch. Some days it feels like I should really just quit life entirely and I know that that is not normal at all. It's just tiring to be fighting against myself all the time (and I mean literally my whole life, I don't remember a time when I wasn't depressed to some degree).
Sorry not much of advice but it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself when it comes to work and focusing your whole life around it. What about any hobbies etc outside of work? Feeling bad cause you're meeting friends and 'not working enough ' is not good. There's really a lot more to life than work, sounds like you're burnt out and should try to look outside of work to find some fulfilment. Trying to force yourself to perform is just not going to do it.
Don't worry about the 28 days, they sent me a letter to say that my licence details hadn't been received with another form inside about 5 weeks after I'd posted mine. I sent the other off by recorded delivery and had them both back in the same envelope 
so they clearly had got it. WIth the post these days, you can't rely on anything that isn't sent recorded.
so they clearly had got it. WIth the post these days, you can't rely on anything that isn't sent recorded.My daughter is 10 and really struggling at school with not fitting in and not having friends. It breaks my heart dropping her off at school knowing that she will spend lunch alone. She hasn't been eating properly because she packs up to follow some girls around who she says ignore her.
The school have tried to help, but my daughter only likes having one friend at a time so can be quite controlling and kids won't put up with that (understandably).
Yesterday a child told her that nobody likes her or wants to talk to her.
She has asked me if she can start a new school because everyone will want to play with her if she's the new girl, bit she's starting secondary in September anyway.
I think it will be the same there
The school have tried to help, but my daughter only likes having one friend at a time so can be quite controlling and kids won't put up with that (understandably).
Yesterday a child told her that nobody likes her or wants to talk to her.
She has asked me if she can start a new school because everyone will want to play with her if she's the new girl, bit she's starting secondary in September anyway.
I think it will be the same there
Can you enroll her in some after school clubs? Maybe a sport, so she learns more about being in a team.My daughter is 10 and really struggling at school with not fitting in and not having friends. It breaks my heart dropping her off at school knowing that she will spend lunch alone. She hasn't been eating properly because she packs up to follow some girls around who she says ignore her.
The school have tried to help, but my daughter only likes having one friend at a time so can be quite controlling and kids won't put up with that (understandably).
Yesterday a child told her that nobody likes her or wants to talk to her.
She has asked me if she can start a new school because everyone will want to play with her if she's the new girl, bit she's starting secondary in September anyway.
I think it will be the same there
I feel so sorry for you it must be awful to watch.
Yeah I do, but I have no other choice. We've had performance reviews this year for the first time and my team lead is just not happy with me, hasn't been the entirety of 2024. And I'm tired of disappointing him, and I'm tired of disappointing myself. I just don't know how to fix this. I keep trying but I can't even find it in me to go to bed at a decent time so I can at least be present, and well rested, during normal working hours.
I have some hobbies but the interest and energy to do them come in bursts and are solitary hobbies - reading, writing, long walks with the dog, doing home reno / improvement projects, gardening, gym. None of those are conductive to a good social life, I know, but I don't have it in me, at the moment, to be consistent enough to do any sort of team sports or weekly thing. It's like, no matter at what point of this horrible loop I'm trying to apply changes, because I know I need to change something in this loop, it just doesn't stick. And doing all the changes at the same time seems overwhelming.
I guess there's nothing but trying, is there. I can either try, or it can stay as it is, which is terrible, terrible enough that unaliving myself seems like a decent option sometimes, to be honest.
But I've given up alcohol (not that I ever drank much, it just doesn't mix well with my meds) and it hasn't exactly been hard but it isn't easy when I just want to let loose sometimes and see others around me have a fun time being tipsy - but for the sake of my mental health I did it, and I need to apply the same to other parts of my life too.
I would request a meds review.
How old are you and do you have any savings?
Yeah I thought about getting her to join cadets but she's not keen. I'll have to keep pushing the idea. She is in a tennis club but worries about who her partner will be
and then has a problem with whoever the partner is. She loves horse riding and ice skating, she'll do those if she can drag her little brother along. If she comes out today and has made a friend she will be on a massive high and will copy everything that person does until she morphs into them.
I haven’t got time to reply in detail atm but I want to say that it sounds like your anti depressants are not as effective as they could be. I was on citalopram (SSRI) and thought as I was no longer thinking about taking my own life all the time that it worked. However I got changed to duloxetine which is an SNRI for a separate health reason. The difference was incredible. I actually felt a bit like my old self and had far more energy. I hadn’t realised how depressed I still was. It may be worth having a discussion about the type you are on.
How Different Antidepressants Work
Learn how different types of antidepressants like SSRIs, SNRIs, and MAOIs help manage depression. Get insights on choosing the right antidepressant for your needs.
www.webmd.com
Loneliness sucks too and in my experience people really don’t like it if you talk about it, which is even more isolating. Sending love. It sounds like you are going through a really hard time.
Yeah, those are all single sports she enjoys. I think you need to just enroll her in cadets and tell her if she does it for at least a year there is a "reward" at the end.Yeah I thought about getting her to join cadets but she's not keen. I'll have to keep pushing the idea. She is in a tennis club but worries about who her partner will be
If she comes out today and has made a friend she will be on a massive high and will copy everything that person does until she morphs into them.
Could She be neurodiverse?Yeah I thought about getting her to join cadets but she's not keen. I'll have to keep pushing the idea. She is in a tennis club but worries about who her partner will be
If she comes out today and has made a friend she will be on a massive high and will copy everything that person does until she morphs into them.
Did they say why they're not happy and discussed an improvement plan? I would try and speak to your manager and discuss your issues and mention you are struggling. They should be receptive to that- it really sounds like you're burnt out and pressuring yourself won't help. Being stressed makes everyone make more mistakes rather than less.
I understand about solitary hobbies as I'm similar and an introvert and generally don't often have energy to be social. Just try one step at a time, sounds like you are doing it with giving up alcohol etc. Maybe next step is trying to get to bed at decent time at least on some days? Being tired defo doesn't make things better.
I realise the things I'm saying are probably annoying and Im sounding like I'm saying just do it but it sounds like you need to take a step back, take a deep breath and prioritise 1-2 things at a time you want to improve. Don't try to improve at work, improve habits and develop a buzzing social life all at once.
And with work, honestly it's not worth giving up on life over. I know that it's tit feeling like you're not doing well at work but sounds like you care and you're just in a bad spot. There's people at work who literally do a tit job AND don't give a duck and think they're all that. in the end it's just work, none of it matters, in 5 years it won't matter at all and in 100 years us and our workplaces likely won't exist, so it's not worth giving up your whole life to it
What about brownies/guides? I made friends there and some from my school went as wellYeah I thought about getting her to join cadets but she's not keen. I'll have to keep pushing the idea. She is in a tennis club but worries about who her partner will be
If she comes out today and has made a friend she will be on a massive high and will copy everything that person does until she morphs into them.
Yes she is on the waiting list to be assessed, I think it's an 18 month - 2 year wait. Her older sister is autistic.
---
Ooh I will look into this thanks!
---
Good idea, she does like rewards. She's come out happy today because a girl who was ignoring her has decided to be her friend again.
You heart breaks for them doesn't it. It sounds like she prefers solo activities? My son didn't do well in group type clubs football etc. We settled on trampolining as it was something he did on his own but then he got chatting to other kids whilst waiting his turn and made friends.Yeah I thought about getting her to join cadets but she's not keen. I'll have to keep pushing the idea. She is in a tennis club but worries about who her partner will be
If she comes out today and has made a friend she will be on a massive high and will copy everything that person does until she morphs into them.
But yes little girls and their friendship groups are hellish. If she's in year 6 are there any committees she can get involved in at school? Anti bullying comity, class ambassadors?.
I’ve seen a job that I’m really interested in applying for. It’s still within the NHS but it’s a different department that I’m not too familiar with. I’ve read through the person spec and job description and I already tick a lot of, if not the majority, of what they’re looking for. I’ve worked in the NHS long enough to know that doesn’t really mean much though so I am REALLY hoping to nail the application and make sure that I’m giving myself the best chance of being successful.
I plan on going through the person spec and job description again and writing examples of how I meet each point, for anything I don’t meet/have no experience with I plan to write a close example and how I would apply that to what they’re looking for. I’ll then put these examples together and use it for the application itself. I think I’m also going to get in touch with the point of contact on the job advertisement to ask for more information and potentially a visit to the department if they allow it.
Is there anything else I should be doing? I tend to overthink job applications and end up word vomiting or go off on a tangent and miss the point completely (although that’s more in interviews I guess). What are the best questions to ask when getting in touch with the department, asking for more information about the job seems a bit too obvious? I have a few weeks before the closing date so thankfully don’t need to rush
I plan on going through the person spec and job description again and writing examples of how I meet each point, for anything I don’t meet/have no experience with I plan to write a close example and how I would apply that to what they’re looking for. I’ll then put these examples together and use it for the application itself. I think I’m also going to get in touch with the point of contact on the job advertisement to ask for more information and potentially a visit to the department if they allow it.
Is there anything else I should be doing? I tend to overthink job applications and end up word vomiting or go off on a tangent and miss the point completely (although that’s more in interviews I guess). What are the best questions to ask when getting in touch with the department, asking for more information about the job seems a bit too obvious? I have a few weeks before the closing date so thankfully don’t need to rush
Others might have a different view of that but I'd only get in touch with the person about the job for actually additional info you might need to decide if the job is a good fit and if you are a good fit for it. It comes down to application and interviews, especially in public sector I'd say. If you have any friends at work who could look over your application and/or help with a mock interview then that's always a good shout. Otherwise just make sure to explain your examples well ensuring they cover the right competencies (not sure what competency framework your work uses but in sure there's some info on it). What do you need to do for the application? Is it a cover letter type thing or answering competency based questions?I’ve seen a job that I’m really interested in applying for. It’s still within the NHS but it’s a different department that I’m not too familiar with. I’ve read through the person spec and job description and I already tick a lot of, if not the majority, of what they’re looking for. I’ve worked in the NHS long enough to know that doesn’t really mean much though so I am REALLY hoping to nail the application and make sure that I’m giving myself the best chance of being successful.
I plan on going through the person spec and job description again and writing examples of how I meet each point, for anything I don’t meet/have no experience with I plan to write a close example and how I would apply that to what they’re looking for. I’ll then put these examples together and use it for the application itself. I think I’m also going to get in touch with the point of contact on the job advertisement to ask for more information and potentially a visit to the department if they allow it.
Is there anything else I should be doing? I tend to overthink job applications and end up word vomiting or go off on a tangent and miss the point completely (although that’s more in interviews I guess). What are the best questions to ask when getting in touch with the department, asking for more information about the job seems a bit too obvious? I have a few weeks before the closing date so thankfully don’t need to rush
Make sure to mention how much you want do audits and research. Doing our job isn’t enough these days. Gotta do audits and extra stuff too.I’ve seen a job that I’m really interested in applying for. It’s still within the NHS but it’s a different department that I’m not too familiar with. I’ve read through the person spec and job description and I already tick a lot of, if not the majority, of what they’re looking for. I’ve worked in the NHS long enough to know that doesn’t really mean much though so I am REALLY hoping to nail the application and make sure that I’m giving myself the best chance of being successful.
I plan on going through the person spec and job description again and writing examples of how I meet each point, for anything I don’t meet/have no experience with I plan to write a close example and how I would apply that to what they’re looking for. I’ll then put these examples together and use it for the application itself. I think I’m also going to get in touch with the point of contact on the job advertisement to ask for more information and potentially a visit to the department if they allow it.
Is there anything else I should be doing? I tend to overthink job applications and end up word vomiting or go off on a tangent and miss the point completely (although that’s more in interviews I guess). What are the best questions to ask when getting in touch with the department, asking for more information about the job seems a bit too obvious? I have a few weeks before the closing date so thankfully don’t need to rush
sorry. Feeling a bit fed up today.
dept visit is definitely good idea.
you sound like you have it all covered to be fair
- Status