The advice thread for random problems #4

[Pinhead Larry]

Wine.

I really want to get into a nice glass of wine! I keep trying red wine but haven’t found any I like as they’re just too strong/vinegary?! I tried a non alcoholic Merlot in marks and sparks the other day and it was gorgeous. It was basically like sangria which is like drinking pop! Any recommendations for which to try?

I’d recommend mcguigans black label, it’s only about £6 a bottle but it’s so nice and easy to drink.
We have a wine bottle thermometer we put on whatever bottle we’re going to drink, but red wine is meant to be served between 12-18 degrees to balance the acidity, might be worth checking the temp before you try it? Also leaving the cap off for 30 mins before pouring from the bottle allows the flavour to balance a bit better

 

[Thank(space)you]

I had a pest controller over as I've got a carpet beetle problem in my bedroom. He looked through my underwear drawer which is the other side of my room from where the beetles are. Normal or weird? I've never had a pest issue so don't know really what's necessary

 

[trudyjudy007]

I had a pest controller over as I've got a carpet beetle problem in my bedroom. He looked through my underwear drawer which is the other side of my room from where the beetles are. Normal or weird? I've never had a pest issue so don't know really what's necessary

yes they should look through all drawers, wardrobes etc. bugs love the cracks in trimming in drawers, bedside tables etc.

 

[Babysnark]

I had a pest controller over as I've got a carpet beetle problem in my bedroom. He looked through my underwear drawer which is the other side of my room from where the beetles are. Normal or weird? I've never had a pest issue so don't know really what's necessary

How bad is your infestation if you don't mind me asking? We've had carpet beetles for years, only see the odd couple but they drive me mad. What did they recommend to get rid of them?

 

[Thank(space)you]

How bad is your infestation if you don't mind me asking? We've had carpet beetles for years, only see the odd couple but they drive me mad. What did they recommend to get rid of them?

It's not bad thankfully. They just sprayed insecticide. They hate white vinegar too so can give that a go, and of course hoovering and dusting lots

 

[Piff paff puff]

By chance today I met a Chinese lady. She was looking for help with something and as English wasn't her first language she was having trouble. Within our conversation related to what she was saying were some concerning revelations and she confirmed she had sought relevant help. She showed me some evidence when I asked more questions.
I'm so sad about this ladies situation. It doesn't seem like she has an advocate and seems alone left to suffer. She lives about 15-20 miles away from me and I have her phone number. I've contacted citizens advice, she says she has been in touch with them although I don't know the outcome.
Police have also been involved the Chinese lady said but again I don't know the outcome.
I have my own domestic responsibilities so they must take priority but I just want to know, what would you do to help if you were me?

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

By chance today I met a Chinese lady. She was looking for help with something and as English wasn't her first language she was having trouble. Within our conversation related to what she was saying were some concerning revelations and she confirmed she had sought relevant help. She showed me some evidence when I asked more questions.
I'm so sad about this ladies situation. It doesn't seem like she has an advocate and seems alone left to suffer. She lives about 15-20 miles away from me and I have her phone number. I've contacted citizens advice, she says she has been in touch with them although I don't know the outcome.
Police have also been involved the Chinese lady said but again I don't know the outcome.
I have my own domestic responsibilities so they must take priority but I just want to know, what would you do to help if you were me?

It depends on what the issue is. DV, I’d probably try and get a local to her dv agency involved.
Or try and look for a Chinese cultural group in her area. We have one where I live so I assume they would be able to help with translation etc
Tbh you have done what you can by the sounds of it

 

[Piff paff puff]

It depends on what the issue is. DV, I’d probably try and get a local to her dv agency involved.
Or try and look for a Chinese cultural group in her area. We have one where I live so I assume they would be able to help with translation etc
Tbh you have done what you can by the sounds of it

I'll have a Google and see if I can any local Chinese community

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

My poor daughter resigned from her job this week - she's not been happy for quite a while (bad management). She left amicably, offered them an extended notice period to cover an important event and make sure none of her colleagues would be burdened, and to train a replacement.

Her boss called her today and tore her apart, told her he's glad because everyone in the office hates her and wants her gone and every member of senior management has been begging to fire her for months. Apparently every single colleague has complained about her to him. He rambled like a madman and said he'll even consider suing her for 'faking sick leave' - she had her gall bladder removed, had two weeks off, and came back and resigned. She interviewed on the last day of sick leave but legally, what could he actually sue for? She had the surgery and the doctor said she's allowed to leave the house.

She knows what he said isn't true, she has a great relationship with her colleagues, but she's distraught nonetheless. She's in her twenties and he's a misogynistic old narcissist who ripped her to shreds. What can I say to her that would help?

 

[Popcornshovel]

My poor daughter resigned from her job this week - she's not been happy for quite a while (bad management). She left amicably, offered them an extended notice period to cover an important event and make sure none of her colleagues would be burdened, and to train a replacement.

Her boss called her today and tore her apart, told her he's glad because everyone in the office hates her and wants her gone and every member of senior management has been begging to fire her for months. Apparently every single colleague has complained about her to him. He rambled like a madman and said he'll even consider suing her for 'faking sick leave' - she had her gall bladder removed, had two weeks off, and came back and resigned. She interviewed on the last day of sick leave but legally, what could he actually sue for? She had the surgery and the doctor said she's allowed to leave the house.

She knows what he said isn't true, she has a great relationship with her colleagues, but she's distraught nonetheless. She's in her twenties and he's a misogynistic old narcissist who ripped her to shreds. What can I say to her that would help?

Just try to reassure her that this is a him problem and not a problem with her. He's probably lashing out because she won't be under his control anymore!

If she's got a sick note for the days she was off then she'll be fine legally. I highly doubt anyone would pursue legal action about sick leave anyway because of the cost and expense, especially for only a few weeks off. Sounds like he was saying this to push her buttons! Sounds like this is in line with his usual behavior. She should keep calm and carry on for the notice period.

I've seen this before with these sexist dinosaur bosses - they kick off when the person resigns.

Try to remind her that soon she'll be out of this horrible workplace and never need see him again. And that she should remember he's the problem and not let it knock her confidence.

 

[littlepup]

My poor daughter resigned from her job this week - she's not been happy for quite a while (bad management). She left amicably, offered them an extended notice period to cover an important event and make sure none of her colleagues would be burdened, and to train a replacement.

Her boss called her today and tore her apart, told her he's glad because everyone in the office hates her and wants her gone and every member of senior management has been begging to fire her for months. Apparently every single colleague has complained about her to him. He rambled like a madman and said he'll even consider suing her for 'faking sick leave' - she had her gall bladder removed, had two weeks off, and came back and resigned. She interviewed on the last day of sick leave but legally, what could he actually sue for? She had the surgery and the doctor said she's allowed to leave the house.

She knows what he said isn't true, she has a great relationship with her colleagues, but she's distraught nonetheless. She's in her twenties and he's a misogynistic old narcissist who ripped her to shreds. What can I say to her that would help?

He can’t do anything, the guy is an idiot, she’s best rid of.

But, I’d tell her to to take it to senior management and tell them exactly what was said, she could do it under the guise of being concerned about a reference and wanting feedback on her performance, or volunteering to leave sooner, rather than a complaint. Get in that she’s now wondering if his attitude toward her is what was making her unhappy and as he clearly has in issue with her and wonders if he was trying to get her to leave (hinting constructive dismissal).
She’s leaving, it doesn’t matter what they say, but they might offer her a better deal for departure or at the least give him a good bollocking. He’s a bully, there should be consequences. He’d probably be in trouble if she left sooner because of this rant too.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Thank you @littlepup and @Popcornshovel, I've passed on the message. I think you're both 100% right. Sadly he's the CEO of a relatively small company - so HR to him is just an annoying fly to swat.

Thankfully she's off to a role on triple her current salary and she impressed them so much at interview and with the practical tests that they want her ASAP, no need for references. I'm a proud mum!!

 

[squacksquack]

Thank you @littlepup and @Popcornshovel, I've passed on the message. I think you're both 100% right. Sadly he's the CEO of a relatively small company - so HR to him is just an annoying fly to swat.

Thankfully she's off to a role on triple her current salary and she impressed them so much at interview and with the practical tests that they want her ASAP, no need for references. I'm a proud mum!!

Sounds like she’s well rid of them and onto bigger and better things!

 

[Lollylaylow]

Thank you @littlepup and @Popcornshovel, I've passed on the message. I think you're both 100% right. Sadly he's the CEO of a relatively small company - so HR to him is just an annoying fly to swat.

Thankfully she's off to a role on triple her current salary and she impressed them so much at interview and with the practical tests that they want her ASAP, no need for references. I'm a proud mum!!

People don't make a fuss like that when a crap employee leaves, only when they are losing a good one

 

[dinosaursideways]

My poor daughter resigned from her job this week - she's not been happy for quite a while (bad management). She left amicably, offered them an extended notice period to cover an important event and make sure none of her colleagues would be burdened, and to train a replacement.

Her boss called her today and tore her apart, told her he's glad because everyone in the office hates her and wants her gone and every member of senior management has been begging to fire her for months. Apparently every single colleague has complained about her to him. He rambled like a madman and said he'll even consider suing her for 'faking sick leave' - she had her gall bladder removed, had two weeks off, and came back and resigned. She interviewed on the last day of sick leave but legally, what could he actually sue for? She had the surgery and the doctor said she's allowed to leave the house.

She knows what he said isn't true, she has a great relationship with her colleagues, but she's distraught nonetheless. She's in her twenties and he's a misogynistic old narcissist who ripped her to shreds. What can I say to her that would help?

Would she reconsider the extended notice period? It was a kindness of her to offer it, and it doesn't sound like her boss deserves that. Especially if the new job want her ASAP sounds like the sooner she leaves this place the better. And as terrible an experience as this has been it really just underlines that she has made the absolute right decision for herself.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

Thank you @littlepup and @Popcornshovel, I've passed on the message. I think you're both 100% right. Sadly he's the CEO of a relatively small company - so HR to him is just an annoying fly to swat.

Thankfully she's off to a role on triple her current salary and she impressed them so much at interview and with the practical tests that they want her ASAP, no need for references. I'm a proud mum!!

I don't want to piss on your chips and many congrats to her - but any company that is offering triple someone's current salary and is not requesting references is a MASSIVE red flag to me. Any company that recruits people properly includes references as a matter of course. Do they have an HR department? A firm induction plan? Check her employment contract with a fine toothcomb.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

How long after the use by date, is plain flour still able to be used? I have more than half an un used packet left.
I do wish retailers would stock the small packets of flour, the large bags tend no to be used.

 

[didisaythatoutloudoops]

Hi again all, update here. Sorry if I forget to answer any questions

@Phil Anne Throw Pee - she's moving from non-profit into a company, so the salary increase is partly due to that and partly due to it being a promotion. In terms of the references, she had to complete quite a technical test as part of the interview process and they were pleased with it. She had been honest with HR about offering the extended notice period but that her boss might react quite negatively to her resignation, so they knew from the beginning she was leaving due to management. When she offered a reference they said they understand her current situation re: boss, so they won't ask for that and also know that you never give bad contacts for former references, so it isn't needed. They have a very firm induction plan and all seems green there I believe. Or at least I'm hoping so!

@dinosaursideways she retracted her offer to work an extended notice period after consulting her colleagues, telling them the situation, and them telling her to put herself first and tell boss to bugger off. Her new job are taking her three weeks earlier now.

Unfortunately the situation has soured in the meantime. Despite her boss still being on annual leave, he then emailed most of what he said to her over the phone - and CC'd in the entire board and all management. He has threatened to dismiss her for gross misconduct if she continues to 'complain'.

She then found out that her boss wrote an email to everyone in the organisation apart from her, saying that he's glad such a toxic person is leaving, that he knows everyone in the office hates her and feels she's a burden and if anyone feels their mental health has been ruined by her, they can come to him. Colleagues have scheduled a meeting with HR to complain about this and are devastated on her behalf, and have made it clear to her they don't feel that way at all.

She's just so young - I feel when you're old like me you know yourself and your work and can see these idiots for what they are, but this is really impacting not only her self-perception but now her anxiety levels. As a mum I just want to shield her from it.

 

[littlepup]

Hi again all, update here. Sorry if I forget to answer any questions

@Phil Anne Throw Pee - she's moving from non-profit into a company, so the salary increase is partly due to that and partly due to it being a promotion. In terms of the references, she had to complete quite a technical test as part of the interview process and they were pleased with it. She had been honest with HR about offering the extended notice period but that her boss might react quite negatively to her resignation, so they knew from the beginning she was leaving due to management. When she offered a reference they said they understand her current situation re: boss, so they won't ask for that and also know that you never give bad contacts for former references, so it isn't needed. They have a very firm induction plan and all seems green there I believe. Or at least I'm hoping so!

@dinosaursideways she retracted her offer to work an extended notice period after consulting her colleagues, telling them the situation, and them telling her to put herself first and tell boss to bugger off. Her new job are taking her three weeks earlier now.

Unfortunately the situation has soured in the meantime. Despite her boss still being on annual leave, he then emailed most of what he said to her over the phone - and CC'd in the entire board and all management. He has threatened to dismiss her for gross misconduct if she continues to 'complain'.

She then found out that her boss wrote an email to everyone in the organisation apart from her, saying that he's glad such a toxic person is leaving, that he knows everyone in the office hates her and feels she's a burden and if anyone feels their mental health has been ruined by her, they can come to him. Colleagues have scheduled a meeting with HR to complain about this and are devastated on her behalf, and have made it clear to her they don't feel that way at all.

She's just so young - I feel when you're old like me you know yourself and your work and can see these idiots for what they are, but this is really impacting not only her self-perception but now her anxiety levels. As a mum I just want to shield her from it.

He sounds like an absolute nut case. Hopefully he’s shot himself in the foot with it all.
I’m sorry she’s dealing with him.

How long after the use by date, is plain flour still able to be used? I have more than half an un used packet left.
I do wish retailers would stock the small packets of flour, the large bags tend no to be used.

It'll be fine as long as it doesn’t smell or have weevils. We used to buy it loose, didn’t even come with a use by date and my Nan has always decanted hers into a big jar. Never had a problem.

 

[Snippysnips]

How long after the use by date, is plain flour still able to be used? I have more than half an un used packet left.
I do wish retailers would stock the small packets of flour, the large bags tend no to be used.

Is it definitely a use by date or is it a best before date? Just asked my folks as both are in the food industry an if it's a use by date then they don't recommend going over it's date, if it's a best before then so long as it's kept dry an airtight then it's up to you with how you feel an if you feel it's still good