Definition of the phrase misery loves company.Maybe more of a question than needing advice, but... Is it a thing that negative people don't want you anymore when you become happier?
I've done a lot of work on myself in the past few years. I was horrendously ill with depression for years, now I'm more or less ok. An old boyfriend has gotten in touch, after we've not spoken for 12 years. He was always perfectly nice to me when we were dating as teenagers, but when he's been messaging me the past week, I've just felt that he was such a downer. Every single message is about how he's getting old (we're 30!) and he doesn't like his career and he wants more money (he has a really impressive career). I'm just not here for it. If he was an old friend I'd been in contact with for years, then I would want to support him, but he's basically an almost-stranger who just turned up in my inbox to tell me how tit everything is.
Yesterday I was getting dental work done. He messaged me asking how I was, "because that doesn't exactly sound like a great day." I felt a bit defensive because I was having a good day and I didn't need someone to come in and enforce their idea that everything is going horribly. I just replied, "Well I feel better for having it done." Now he's not replied since yesterday, even though he's been texting me constantly for a week. I don't want to keep talking to him tbh, so I don't care, it just made me wonder: are there people who want to use you to wallow in misery together and then when they realise you haven't got that mindset, they reject you? I've been noticing in recent years how many people are negative - not necessarily the same as people in bad circumstances or who have mental illnesses, but lots of people just have nothing nice to say about anything.
Miserable people look for other miserable people so they can wallow together, they don’t want to improve and revel in the negativity. If you try to share positivity to bring them up they will look elsewhere because they are comfortable in their misery and only want/need others the same to justify their own behaviour.
It’s the same with most negative behaviours, witching, gossiping, substance abuse, laziness… If you shut them down they’ll give up with you and go and find someone else who’ll be on board to make their own behaviour feel acceptable.