The advice thread for random problems #4

[Snippysnips]

Since we are on the topic of toddlers, my neice has now worked out how to climb out her crib, what's the best thing to keep her door shut but still allow us easy access in an out without it being an actual lock, if she can climb over her bars then she's going climb over a stairgate an I can't have her going downstairs or into my room due to animals an the fact she wants to empty my fridge an feed them everything

She almost gave me a heart attack walking into the living room tonight an I don't do a whole load of overnight stays to really want to start bolting things into the walls

 

[stargirl23]

Since we are on the topic of toddlers, my neice has now worked out how to climb out her crib, what's the best thing to keep her door shut but still allow us easy access in an out without it being an actual lock, if she can climb over her bars then she's going climb over a stairgate an I can't have her going downstairs or into my room due to animals an the fact she wants to empty my fridge an feed them everything

She almost gave me a heart attack walking into the living room tonight an I don't do a whole load of overnight stays to really want to start bolting things into the walls

Get a wooden stair gate? Yano the ones that don’t have spaces between the bars so they’re Harder to climb? Other than that not sure what else to suggest that would be safe

 

[Snippysnips]

Get a wooden stair gate? Yano the ones that don’t have spaces between the bars so they’re Harder to climb? Other than that not sure what else to suggest that would be safe

Thanks I'll look at those, I honestly didn't think she'd get out her crib being how high it is but so far tonight she's gotten out 4 times an fell out once, have no idea what to do for tonight, am hoping she won't be able to pull herself over a non space gate an is only getting out the crib because of the spaces

 

[stargirl23]

Thanks I'll look at those, I honestly didn't think she'd get out her crib being how high it is but so far tonight she's gotten out 4 times an fell out once, have no idea what to do for tonight, am hoping she won't be able to pull herself over a non space gate an is only getting out the crib because of the spaces

Yeah my nephew was the same but he wasn’t able to climb the wooden stair gate as his feet kept sliding down but the standard stair gates were easier as he could grip his toes round the bars and climb over. Hopefully you’re able to sort something

 

[Snippysnips]

Yeah my nephew was the same but he wasn’t able to climb the wooden stair gate as his feet kept sliding down but the standard stair gates were easier as he could grip his toes round the bars and climb over. Hopefully you’re able to sort something

Thanks, that's good to know they slide back down it if it's a non space, I was thinking she might be able to grip it somehow an pull herself over, it might be a all nighter tonight for me she's away home tomorrow so can have a early night then, just scared incase she makes her way downstairs or let's the pets out as they are chewers an will destroy every wire in the house lol

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

Thanks I'll look at those, I honestly didn't think she'd get out her crib being how high it is but so far tonight she's gotten out 4 times an fell out once, have no idea what to do for tonight, am hoping she won't be able to pull herself over a non space gate an is only getting out the crib because of the spaces

Can you take the side off the cot? That's the safest option. With a duvet folded up on the floor next to it.

A gate across the door might still work, especially if it's flat. Two of mine were early escapees. They used to use their toes to climb the bars. One arrived on the landing (having escaped the cot and a gate ) and announce "I'm out Mummy, Mummy I'm OUT". The other could even contort themselves under the stair gate (yey hypermobility). It's a fun time .

 

[Snippysnips]

Can you take the side off the cot? That's the safest option. With a duvet folded up on the floor next to it.

A gate across the door might still work, especially if it's flat. Two of mine were early escapees. They used to use their toes to climb the bars. One arrived on the landing (having escaped the cot and a gate ) and announce "I'm out Mummy, Mummy I'm OUT". The other could even contort themselves under the stair gate (yey hypermobility). It's a fun time .

I mean now she can climb out it then yeah we will just convert her crib into a bed, we only left the bars cause we needed to keep her in the bed, at her own home she's a bed now cause it's an apartment she's in so no stairs an also their guinea pigs are outside

Had a look online an can't find the yano gates so am assuming those are US, the only ones I can find that have no gaps in them have a lock that looks like she could probably open, I really don't want to pay money on a gate with spaces only to realise she can still climb up the gaps but unfortunately I really can't have her wandering the house, my pets are only in pens as they free roam during the day (when I can watch them) plus she gets to feed them so knows to go into the fridge to get food out, an there's times like tonight where I had to take her so not taking her isn't a option as well

Urgh why does this age need to be so hard

 

[littlepup]

I mean now she can climb out it then yeah we will just convert her crib into a bed, we only left the bars cause we needed to keep her in the bed, at her own home she's a bed now cause it's an apartment she's in so no stairs an also their guinea pigs are outside

Had a look online an can't find the yano gates so am assuming those are US, the only ones I can find that have no gaps in them have a lock that looks like she could probably open, I really don't want to pay money on a gate with spaces only to realise she can still climb up the gaps but unfortunately I really can't have her wandering the house, my pets are only in pens as they free roam during the day (when I can watch them) plus she gets to feed them so knows to go into the fridge to get food out, an there's times like tonight where I had to take her so not taking her isn't a option as well

Urgh why does this age need to be so hard

Argos does extra tall regular ones. Or there are those pull across ones which fix on the outside so if you’ve got enough door trim she shouldn’t be able to reach around for.

Could you put a lock or even a door wedge on your door to keep her out of your bit at least so you’re not locking her in but rather locking her out?

 

[Snippysnips]

Argos does extra tall regular ones. Or there are those pull across ones which fix on the outside so if you’ve got enough door trim she shouldn’t be able to reach around for.

Could you put a lock or even a door wedge on your door to keep her out of your bit at least so you’re not locking her in but rather locking her out?

I might look at the pull across an see if I can fix it on the other side, it's not just my room I need her out though lol it's almost the whole house, I don't want to really be spending hundreds of pounds toddler proofing the house when she's only spending maybe one night every few months with me, usually she's a drop off morning an pick up night so I don't need to worry about overnight

 

[chickhicks86]

I might look at the pull across an see if I can fix it on the other side, it's not just my room I need her out though lol it's almost the whole house, I don't want to really be spending hundreds of pounds toddler proofing the house when she's only spending maybe one night every few months with me, usually she's a drop off morning an pick up night so I don't need to worry about overnight

We had one like this, which was good! They are not overly tall though. https://www.johnlewis.com/babydan-guard-me-folding-safety-gate/p969110

 

[Snippysnips]

We had one like this, which was good! They are not overly tall though. https://www.johnlewis.com/babydan-guard-me-folding-safety-gate/p969110

Thanks, it's maybe a bit short

She showed me yesterday morning how she done it an was quite proud of herself lol, she's basically pulling herself up then throwing a leg over the top an swinging herself over, so whatever I get will need to be tall enough she won't have the strength to pull herself up with

 

[Caramel Latte]

How do you deal with someone who constantly blames you for trivial things that you didn't do.

It's only my 2nd interaction with this woman but she has this way of blaming people for everything she finds wrong. I'd like her to know that she needs to chill while being polite and not cause drama.

Also if you think I'm petty i agree with you hahaha ‍

 

[Snippysnips]

How do you deal with someone who constantly blames you for trivial things that you didn't do.

It's only my 2nd interaction with this woman but she has this way of blaming people for everything she finds wrong. I'd like her to know that she needs to chill while being polite and not cause drama.

Also if you think I'm petty i agree with you hahaha ‍

I know you said you want to be polite an not cause drama, but sometimes standing up to them is about the only way they will stop, some people just go out their way to be like that

Personally I'd be telling her she needs to stop blaming me for things I never done an she has no evidence over an be quite forceful about it

I had a boss like that, used to drag me in the office an blame me for things, one day he accused me of phoning HR which at the time I didn't even know we had a HR let alone what the number was, in the end I finally snapped an in front of the whole shop (staff and customers) I told him exactly what I thought about being blamed for random tit that half the time I think he was just making up, was the last he ever blamed me again, so maybe have a stern word before you get to that stage where you might end up reaching your limit

 

[littlepup]

How do you deal with someone who constantly blames you for trivial things that you didn't do.

It's only my 2nd interaction with this woman but she has this way of blaming people for everything she finds wrong. I'd like her to know that she needs to chill while being polite and not cause drama.

Also if you think I'm petty i agree with you hahaha ‍

Be firm in not accepting blame but polite.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, however…”
“You seem to have misinterpreted what’s happened here…”
“I can understand your frustration but this isn’t something that stems from me…”
“I’d encourage you to look again at the source of these problems…”
“I’m afraid that’s not correct…”
“Can you explain to me how you arrived at that conclusion?”

 

[Hastaggifted]

Not really after advice as I'm pretty certain I've made up my mind and I'm not crazy. What I would like is other peoples thoughts as my husband thinks im over reacting and my daughter doesn't think its fair.
My daughter (nearly 8) has made friends with a little girl down the road (also 8) and they play out together and often in and out of each others house. That's absolutely fine. But I've heard the other girl has been talking about sleepovers and her mum has said they can have a sleepover at there's. I do not know her mum, only ever seen her once and that was a quick "morning". I don't think 7/8 year olds need sleepovers. Especially when I don't know the adults. It's her mum and a step dad that stays occasionally. There is way too much in the news and way too often it's the step dad that's dodgy. I just don't think it's worth the risk, they might be perfectly fine but there's always a chance.
I had a friend when I was 12 - 15 that I used to sleepover her house, everything was fine but years later i saw the Step Dad on crime watch wanted for being a paedophile from crimes before he met her mum. They were happily married and he had been in my friends life since she was 2 and had always been fine and never done anything to her or her brother . So it shows you can't trust anyone.
Please tell me you agree I'm right in saying no and I'll just have to be the boring, horrible Mum that says no.

 

[stargirl23]

Not really after advice as I'm pretty certain I've made up my mind and I'm not crazy. What I would like is other peoples thoughts as my husband thinks im over reacting and my daughter doesn't think its fair.
My daughter (nearly 8) has made friends with a little girl down the road (also 8) and they play out together and often in and out of each others house. That's absolutely fine. But I've heard the other girl has been talking about sleepovers and her mum has said they can have a sleepover at there's. I do not know her mum, only ever seen her once and that was a quick "morning". I don't think 7/8 year olds need sleepovers. Especially when I don't know the adults. It's her mum and a step dad that stays occasionally. There is way too much in the news and way too often it's the step dad that's dodgy. I just don't think it's worth the risk, they might be perfectly fine but there's always a chance.
I had a friend when I was 12 - 15 that I used to sleepover her house, everything was fine but years later i saw the Step Dad on crime watch wanted for being a paedophile from crimes before he met her mum. They were happily married and he had been in my friends life since she was 2 and had always been fine and never done anything to her or her brother . So it shows you can't trust anyone.
Please tell me you agree I'm right in saying no and I'll just have to be the boring, horrible Mum that says no.

I’d say you’re in the right and if it were me I’d be exactly the same. There’s nothing about being too over the top when it comes to safeguarding and protecting your child. Like you say you don’t know the mum and only spoke to her once, if it was someone you knew well it’d be different. My son is the same age as your daughter and I only allow him to sleep at my mums house or my brothers house as his cousin is the same age and they play together. However it’s only very rare occasions he sleeps over as he still wants me or his dad at night time and doesn’t like being away majority of the time

 

[littlepup]

Not really after advice as I'm pretty certain I've made up my mind and I'm not crazy. What I would like is other peoples thoughts as my husband thinks im over reacting and my daughter doesn't think its fair.
My daughter (nearly 8) has made friends with a little girl down the road (also 8) and they play out together and often in and out of each others house. That's absolutely fine. But I've heard the other girl has been talking about sleepovers and her mum has said they can have a sleepover at there's. I do not know her mum, only ever seen her once and that was a quick "morning". I don't think 7/8 year olds need sleepovers. Especially when I don't know the adults. It's her mum and a step dad that stays occasionally. There is way too much in the news and way too often it's the step dad that's dodgy. I just don't think it's worth the risk, they might be perfectly fine but there's always a chance.
I had a friend when I was 12 - 15 that I used to sleepover her house, everything was fine but years later i saw the Step Dad on crime watch wanted for being a paedophile from crimes before he met her mum. They were happily married and he had been in my friends life since she was 2 and had always been fine and never done anything to her or her brother . So it shows you can't trust anyone.
Please tell me you agree I'm right in saying no and I'll just have to be the boring, horrible Mum that says no.

Have them sleep over at yours or get to know the parents better. They live so close there’s no need to sleep over. However a predator can be anywhere, any time of day, so you eventually have to place trust somewhere. I’d be as concerned for them playing out in the street tbf.
If you look at high profile cases, they usually occur in broad daylight. But, these are few and far between, we can’t wrap them up in cotton wool. It’s really hard.

 

[Snippysnips]

Not really after advice as I'm pretty certain I've made up my mind and I'm not crazy. What I would like is other peoples thoughts as my husband thinks im over reacting and my daughter doesn't think its fair.
My daughter (nearly 8) has made friends with a little girl down the road (also 8) and they play out together and often in and out of each others house. That's absolutely fine. But I've heard the other girl has been talking about sleepovers and her mum has said they can have a sleepover at there's. I do not know her mum, only ever seen her once and that was a quick "morning". I don't think 7/8 year olds need sleepovers. Especially when I don't know the adults. It's her mum and a step dad that stays occasionally. There is way too much in the news and way too often it's the step dad that's dodgy. I just don't think it's worth the risk, they might be perfectly fine but there's always a chance.
I had a friend when I was 12 - 15 that I used to sleepover her house, everything was fine but years later i saw the Step Dad on crime watch wanted for being a paedophile from crimes before he met her mum. They were happily married and he had been in my friends life since she was 2 and had always been fine and never done anything to her or her brother . So it shows you can't trust anyone.
Please tell me you agree I'm right in saying no and I'll just have to be the boring, horrible Mum that says no.

I'd get to know the parents an then when you feel comfortable agree on maybe your house first an then her friends

Me an my brother both had sleepovers from I'd say around age 4/5, it can be good to let your kid have that little bit of time away at a friend's especially when it turns into bday sleepovers an there's a few kids there, I had many friends who had step-parents as well, I know you will be thinking of your kid an you can never be too careful these days but there's still step-parents out there (even the dads) who are amazing parents, but get to know the parents, it's only by knowing them you will find out if your going be comfortable with even letting your kid play with their kid, to me there's not much difference in playing in one another's house than there is sleeping over, if god forbid anything was going to happen (I pray not) it's going happen at any time

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

We had a rule after one sleepover disaster that if we didn't know the parents well, they stayed at ours. I never minded and felt more comfortable.
That way, your kids are happy and so are you. I only let mine stay if we knew the family well... we had one awful night when my eldest stayed with a new girl at school. They'd been nearly 4 hours at her mum's horseyard after school, then Mum took them straight to the pub until 11pm. And I had a horrid feeling that she'd driven them home. They had bags of crisps and chocolate bars for their tea, and she came home the next day smelling like an ashtray as Mum smoked in the house. She was so overtired and grotty that even she said "Mum I don't want a sleepover there again".

 

[Snippysnips]

More curious to know if this is allowed

The doctors I go too, if you phone for a appointment the receptionist wants to know what you are going in for an if you don't tell them then they will deny a face appointment an only allow for a phone appointment, does this happen to anyone else? Honestly getting tired of it because sometimes the receptionist is male an quite honestly am not comfortable telling anyone especially a male what I want to see my doctor for, the doctors aren't allowed to disclose what patients are in for so why all of a sudden is it fine for receptionists to be asking