The advice thread for random problems #4

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I’m about to lose my mind!

Back in August, I missed my flight for my summer vacation because I overslept. I was heartbroken but decided to get over it and book a trip to somewhere else for this week.

I’m due to be flying to Rome at 7am tomorrow. Everything was fine and dandy today. Then, as I was about tip hop into bed, I hear a huge noise coming from my water pump /boiler. The water pump engine has has been running with a loud noise for 3 hours straight when no water is in use at the moment. I’ve been living in this apartment for years, never experienced this. The pump noise can be heard from outside.

About an hour ago, I checked the pump again and realized there’s a full blown leak under it. I rang the management company of my building who told me they can’t do anything about it. I then rang my landlord’s emergency number and was told they’d look into it tomorrow and that there’s nothing to worry about, I can go on vacation and let someone in to fix it.

I’m honestly not comfortable with this. I’d rather be there and I’m not OK with flying overseas while this water pump / leak nonsense is going on. I live alone.

If I cancel my trip, I’ll lose a good chunk of money. What should I do?

This is why you should always take out holiday insurance. It’s cheap and would cover a cancelled holiday. Alternatively do you have a trusted person who could deal with the boiler while you are away?

 

[nataliaaaaa]

H all sorry it’s me again from a few posts up re my partner dropping all my things off to my parents. So he contacted me in the week and pointed out it’s the family party today and he needed to know whether I was going or not. Now - I know I don’t deserve sympathy, but I genuinely feel really depressed at the moment, like a real
Black cloud is over me. I stopped taking Cerazette as per doctors orders but that was only a couple of nights ago so am really hoping this was the cause and it starts to lift. Doctor has also put me on some meds as my ferritin was low, so medically I have a plan. My issue with my partner contacting me was it get very much like a ‘I need to know if you’re coming to the party’ rather than a ‘how are you, I want to help you’. I asked why he was contacting me then when he wasn’t interested days ago when I was in a v dark place. Anyway we have been texting a bit over the last few days, not loads but I told him about coming off the pill as he needs to know this anyway, and so this morning I thought I’d be the one to bite the bullet and ask if I should come to the family party. I honestly thought that would be the thing to do as it’s me making the effort, and he has replied saying he doesn’t get me, he mentioned this days ago and I had a go at him etc, how much I’m really hurting him. I genuinely feel lost in terms of what to do - should I just stay away for a bit or should I make an effort? Just feels like whatever I do is wrong. And I genuinely do feel this is some kind of depression I’m feeling, I’m sat here in tears writing this (again not for sympathy, but I don’t know how to get across how I feel).
---
Just to add I feel even more blue (not that this bit is depression, this bit is more just sad) - because I was originally booked in to go and stay with a friend this weekend to go to some Christmas markets (we try and do this every year) but I had to amend my plans with her as my partner asked if I could change it so I could go to this party.

 

[Snippysnips]

Sounds a lot like a scam. Have you googled the company name?

Not yet, it got put at the bottom of the mail pile, but I don't know if they will be using one of those fake websites with fake reviews about it, somtimes things online can seem legit when they are not

 

[Piamia]

Hey guys please could I have some advice.

Just for context I’m single, in a 2 bed flat,
no washing machine or freezer & no tv.

Since the 2nd of Feb my electricity usage has apparently increased. With no change in the home, only small fridge plugged in & wifi box as usual.

I topped up £10 Saturday and it went off the meter the next day.
On the Sunday I wasn’t home all day but ovo said I used £6 electricity?????

The meter is suddenly taking £5-10 each day and my usual usage is around £1 a day.

Yesterday I turned off all plugs and it still used £1.26 in the 3H & KWH went up.

Today I turned the house off at the fuse box and no change in the meter.

Ovo are saying they’ll send someone out to check the meter, BUT if there’s nothing wrong with it I pay £150! - which obviously I can’t afford.

I want to know if you guys think the meter is faulty or not.
Could someone have hacked me?
Why has there been a sudden increase of usage but I’m 3 appliances down since Xmas!

Please help guys I’m having a breakdown! Xx.

 

[stargirl23]

Does anybody know if you can claim somebody’s state pension contributions if they died before pension age? For example: married couple in their 50’s both eligible for state pension. One dies. Can the other one claim any money?

Yes you may be able to. More info on here which may answer your question x

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/benefits/benefits-in-later-life/state-pension-death-benefits

 

[Rxt156]

Random problem, we use Gmail at my work an I have to create contacts but for some reason the part where you can add a profile picture is massive an it has the part where you add the details underneath it really small which I have to scroll to get it all, is there a way I can reverse it so I can see more of the details part an less of the profile picture part?

Can you try a different browser? It just looks like it’s loaded a bit funny

 

[Mamacita]

Has anyone done Hogmanay at Edinburgh? Looking to do it this year but not sure of best hotels to go for, I don't know if I'll be at the castle but I don't want to be completely out the way of where all the festivities will be happening, an if the hotel does a party that's a bonus as I might stay in for a bit before

Looked at the apex as it has views of the castle but folks don't want to stay at grassmarket not sure why, is there mostly idiots around there?

Wouldn't say idiots though probably there would be a few haha but grassmarket is busy with loads and loads of pubs so might be a bit loud? Still, a decent spot for being at the heart of things. Lothian road or bread street are very close to the castle as well. North bridge is close too.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

I want to write a book - anyone done that? I have 15 pages of plot outline, character descriptions and motivations for the wheres, whens, hows and whys of the story, and the arc itself is finished and in my opinion, makes sense. But now for the writing of the story itself - I keep thinking "OMG my writing voice is so boring and how do I show, not tell, and why would anyone ever read this shit and do I even have what it takes to write in English since it's not my first language" and so on and so forth.

I find the filler of the story is the most difficult part! I did a creative writing course through my local authority and it was very helpful. See if there is something similar in your area

 

[Bobbleowl90]

A year or so ago I fell into the lumispa trap and bought one from a girl I went to school with. Ever since, she keeps WhatsApping me and messaging me via social media about upcoming “deals”. I said I had a lot on so couldn’t really afford one right now but she continues to message. I’ve just had a baby so I’m on mat leave and thought that would be the perfect excuse as income is lower. Nope, still messaged. So I said I’m saving for christmas. And now she’s messaged again saying it’s a really good deal she can even drop it off at my house for me. FFS! How do I say no?! I even thought about just buying one but honestly I don’t want to, it would just be to shut her up but that’s so wrong! What is wrong with these people.

 

[OnlyHereForTheLolz]

Hi everyone - I’m not sure if anyone can help but I guess it’s worth a try, thank you in advance!

I received a gift card for Christmas but it doesn’t work when I try redeeming it. I’ve just noticed the gift card number printed on the receipt doesn’t match the one on the card - the last 2 digits are different.

They bought it from Tesco, so I wondered if maybe the checkout person activated the wrong card number by mistake?

Does anyone know if they manually type in the number or scan the card, in which case it’s unlikely to be a human error?

I was going to go to Tescos tomorrow but I get nervous about confrontation. It’s not the end of the world, I just feel bad that the person spent their money on a card that can’t be used

Sounds like the worker scammed your friend and how are you going ro prove that

 

[Merpedy]

my boyfriend’s sister

Can you not ask your boyfriend about it?

 

[stargirl23]

Anyone here had a colonoscopy?

Been referred for one and just had a phone call with a colorectal nurse and I'll get one in the next two weeks

Any advice regarding the procedure would be very much appreciated

I won’t lie to you it’s not pleasant. But I found the laxatives you have to take beforehand far worse than the actual procedure. The laxatives mix with squash it’s much easier to get down than in water & I rolled reduce remedy on my pulse points to try relax me and it helped. I just layed there with my eyes shut and tried thinking of other things. It wasn’t painful just felt uncomfortable and it hurt a little when the took a biopsy but other than that it was ok. I opted for sedation and think it definitely helped. Good luck

 

[Smallie21]

The father is not on the birth certificate but obviously dna will prove it. We are talking mega bucks. And we are in ni if that makes any difference. I’m just asking around at the minute to get an idea of what it could look like, but it looks like an appointment with a solicitor would be the next step. Thanks so much all for the help!!

 

[Snippysnips]

More curious to know if this is allowed

The doctors I go too, if you phone for a appointment the receptionist wants to know what you are going in for an if you don't tell them then they will deny a face appointment an only allow for a phone appointment, does this happen to anyone else? Honestly getting tired of it because sometimes the receptionist is male an quite honestly am not comfortable telling anyone especially a male what I want to see my doctor for, the doctors aren't allowed to disclose what patients are in for so why all of a sudden is it fine for receptionists to be asking

 

[loveanatter]

Sorry but I’m really not sure where to put this, so hope someone can offer some wisdom.
My daughter is 5 (nearly 6). She’s a very sensitive, sometimes anxious, little girl. My husband’s parents both passed away before she remembers them, my FIL passed away when my husband was about 12 and his mum left us in 2020. For some reason them dying has created some worry in her and now she is very scared of dying, even way into the future and leaving her children. And she’s worried her best friend might die and she won’t get to see her anymore. I was just doing bedtime where she said “mummy I’m so excited for Easter!” And then about a minute later she said “mummy, I’m so scared of dying, I’m not really excited about Easter at all, all I can think about is going to heaven” we did her hand breathing to calm her down and I talked to her about thoughts about things we can’t control and thoughts about things we can control, and I said well keep telling her brain that it doesn’t have any control over it and it’s not going to happen for a long time anyway so let’s not worry about it now - and I said well say the same thing to your brain tomorrow too, and that seemed to help but she seems so much more sensitive and thoughtful than I ever was when I was little I don’t know how to help her really.

Hang on with me here…. But my Mum died when I was pregnant with my first and I’ve always just said she was poorly. Then we’ve had a few distant family relationships where we sort of said oh they were poorly and then last weekend my FIL died and I said to my husband we cannot say he was just ‘poorly’ because they’re going to have a real issue. Unfortunately meant we had to talk a bit more about why he died.
Which has brought all sort of things up. I think it’s the age where they’re not little anymore and you just sort of have to find a way of age appropriately explaining what they think their issues are. OR, introducing a teddy that they can tell their fears too. (A friend of mine did this when her Dad died suddenly, as they would spend every Friday night there). If she’s confident to write, you can find a zippy mouth one, then can sneakily read what she writes x

 

[Snippysnips]

Hiya all, not a problem as such but looking for suggestions. Tomorrow marks a year since my partner expectedly lost his lovely Dad. Should I be getting/doing anything for my partner to mark the day? I don't want him to think I'm treating it as any other day but not sure what on earth I could do?

I'd let him lead you like others have said as only he knows how he's going to feel, but how about maybe giving some suggestions, perhaps you both could take a walk up to lay some flowers down, a walk can help a ton so even if he doesn't walk to want near it then maybe taking a drive out to someplace else an stopping for a bite to eat or a tea/coffee etc might help, or if he's not wanting out then perhaps a comfort film an just order food in

 

[WeHadFunRight]

My oldest boy can also be very much like your girl. Just this morning he was asking me why Jesus had nails put through his hands and feet and how is it possible that he could rise up when he was dead - I mean, 8am on a Sunday morning son!! But this is just what their wee minds do, question everything and when wee links get made it can throw up a whole lot of other questions, so this likely isn't the last you'll hear of it, even if the conversation seems to fade off. Not to get too airy fairy but I did think to myself, what do I want my child to believe when talking about things like this? I'm mostly atheist so I explain that when you're dead, you're dead, but your memories and soul lives on in the people you leave behind, but that some people believe in a heaven etc. I'm not a fan of the whole 'look up to the stars to see your granny' type idea but each to their own

I’m an atheist too so it’s very hard talking about heaven when you don’t believe in it but I fully understand why faith provides a framework to help people through difficult periods in their lives!

 

[chickhicks86]

I might look at the pull across an see if I can fix it on the other side, it's not just my room I need her out though lol it's almost the whole house, I don't want to really be spending hundreds of pounds toddler proofing the house when she's only spending maybe one night every few months with me, usually she's a drop off morning an pick up night so I don't need to worry about overnight

We had one like this, which was good! They are not overly tall though. https://www.johnlewis.com/babydan-guard-me-folding-safety-gate/p969110

 

[Snippysnips]

I seem to remember it saying on the packet best before October 2023.

Should be good then, I'd judge it how you feel

 

[Snippysnips]

Get a wooden stair gate? Yano the ones that don’t have spaces between the bars so they’re Harder to climb? Other than that not sure what else to suggest that would be safe

Thanks I'll look at those, I honestly didn't think she'd get out her crib being how high it is but so far tonight she's gotten out 4 times an fell out once, have no idea what to do for tonight, am hoping she won't be able to pull herself over a non space gate an is only getting out the crib because of the spaces