Teenager boyfriend/girl sleepovers

[gummy-bear]

My boyfriends parents when I was 15 (he was also 15) enforced the ‘no sleeping together rule’. He’d go to bed in his bedroom and I’d go in the spare room, we’d just have sex before we went to sleep then go into separate rooms totally pointless.

my mum was great though, she spoke to me like an adult about sex and asked me if I wanted her to get us contraception / go to the GP with me. She preferred us hanging out at our house so she could keep one ear open and always encouraged me to be open and honest with how I was feeling about everything. Unfortunately at 14/15/16 teenagers do get sexually curious and it’s totally natural to start experimenting, I’d just be there for your daughter and to remind her what consent means. There is no shame in teenagers forming healthy and safe sexual relationships - I’ve always had a positive relationship with sex and I think a lot of this stems from how open my mum was with me.

the lying from your ex is a separate conversation to be had, but not ok.

 

[BigBrenda]

I dread this as I know how bad I was. My mum was against sleepovers and so was my dad. And I wasn’t allowed to stay out either. But they wouldn’t talk about sex, and my mum just used to bark at me I better not end up pregnant and was just really weird about the whole thing when she knew I was interested in boys.
I wish she was more open and relaxed as i think it would of stopped me doing so many stupid things. I had sex in so many stupid places because of it. Also agree as well about when a boyfriend eventually did sleep over in separate rooms we’d just shag in the garden or before we was split up

 

[Saddlesoap]

Not got kids, but I do find this an interesting subject (not in a weird way!).

My brother went through this recently with his eldest (though he was 17). I pointed out that if they want to have sex they will, and that it would be safer to do it at home. (I didn't say this to him, but I was that girl, having sex in my boyfriends car cos we couldn't go home).

I do think 15 and 14 sound a bit young, but maybe having them at yours where you can keep an eye on them would make you feel better, rather than them potentially getting up to anything at her dad's (I actually find it a bit weird that the dad was ok with his daughter sleeping with a boy!). Open door policy?

I think you sound like a lovely mum and your frank conversations with her hopely mean she'll be able to talk to you.

The other part of this, to me is my niece is 14.5yo and her dad (my bil) was furious off that I bought her makeup for Christmas. To think this topic is round the corner for them worries me a bit!

 

[Megansnarkle]

The other part of this, to me is my niece is 14.5yo and her dad (my bil) was furious off that I bought her makeup for Christmas. To think this topic is round the corner for them worries me a bit!

Probably doesn't help, but most of the girls I knew at school had had sex by that point. I think that the fact that nobody wants to talk to girls (particularly) who are that age about sex in a positive way, about masturbation, how to have a positive experience, consent etc is a problem, because kids are going to do stuff anyway, may as well equip them properly for it.

 

[Gloria Rostron]

If they weren't in a relationship and there was no concerns about illegal sexual activity, I would allow it. But, as you say, they are in a relationship, I have voted no. They are both under the age of consent and are both in a relationship which means it's a risk you cannot take.

 

[justhavinganoseynow]

My eldest daughter is 14 and we haven’t got to this point yet. She does share her bedroom with her little sister so she won’t be having sleepovers with boys at any point. If she wants to sleep at theirs (if she had one) in the next year or 2 I think I would have to proper check out his family/ living situation before I even considered it.

As everyone else says I don’t think a parent can successfully stop then having sex but I would be doing my best to make sure she was 100 percent safe and comfortable in her relationship.