Opening this thread, as the topic came up in Does Anyone Hate Their Job and as we want to keep that thread about jobs, job seeking, venting, etc, let's use this place to talk more broadly about Social Currency.
To me, social currency is anything like marriage, home ownership, children, career, etc. Things that tick off big milestone boxes and around which society seems to have a lot of expectations on how and when to achieve them. It's also, especially in the context of influencers and celebs what generates the most income in the forms of views, media interest, and sponsorships.
I would love it if we could use this thread to talk about social currencies and the feeling of inadequacy we might have from it.
I'll go first
I'm 33 years old and have always worked in tech and at "cool places". The sort of company where people will either start gushing about how great they are or tell you how absolutely evil anything tech is (but still make a twisted compliment that you got in).
I'm in a very long-term relationship of 16 years, but we aren't married. That raises eyebrows left and right. We don't have kids and also aren't planning on having them. Again, losing on currency, how serious could a relationship be that does not take the next commitment level of marriage and also doesn't produce anything solid like a kid? We have a beautiful home, but we don't own it and again, lost out on currency.
And the worst thing is, while I know that none of this should matter at all, it does nag on me and I do feel sad about "losing". I shouldn't compare - I know that that apparently fancy career is just as crappy from the inside as a "boring" job somewhere else, though it might come with some nicer perks and good pay. I know that marriage and kids aren't for me to make other people happy, but as an inherent overthinker and people-pleaser, I start to doubt whether I'm doing it right. I'd love to buy a home, but timing and place didn't seem right...
So here I am, feeling sad when I hear what other people have in terms of social currency, fully aware that that is an outside picture they're projecting to me that may well look very different inside.
To me, social currency is anything like marriage, home ownership, children, career, etc. Things that tick off big milestone boxes and around which society seems to have a lot of expectations on how and when to achieve them. It's also, especially in the context of influencers and celebs what generates the most income in the forms of views, media interest, and sponsorships.
I would love it if we could use this thread to talk about social currencies and the feeling of inadequacy we might have from it.
I'll go first
I'm 33 years old and have always worked in tech and at "cool places". The sort of company where people will either start gushing about how great they are or tell you how absolutely evil anything tech is (but still make a twisted compliment that you got in).
I'm in a very long-term relationship of 16 years, but we aren't married. That raises eyebrows left and right. We don't have kids and also aren't planning on having them. Again, losing on currency, how serious could a relationship be that does not take the next commitment level of marriage and also doesn't produce anything solid like a kid? We have a beautiful home, but we don't own it and again, lost out on currency.
And the worst thing is, while I know that none of this should matter at all, it does nag on me and I do feel sad about "losing". I shouldn't compare - I know that that apparently fancy career is just as crappy from the inside as a "boring" job somewhere else, though it might come with some nicer perks and good pay. I know that marriage and kids aren't for me to make other people happy, but as an inherent overthinker and people-pleaser, I start to doubt whether I'm doing it right. I'd love to buy a home, but timing and place didn't seem right...
So here I am, feeling sad when I hear what other people have in terms of social currency, fully aware that that is an outside picture they're projecting to me that may well look very different inside.