Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

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kachoochoo

That Forensic Man said:
Was that not the one you were after dear heart?
The fact I'm now confused over which 'placenta pudding' you were referring to is quite telling
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dw, i don't completely know which placenta pudding was which either

anyhoo, got these earlier



lidl didn't have raspberries or lemon curd tonight, but I'm going back tomorrow and i am thinking of jackesque workarounds anyway
 
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Wooh

I don't think you'll need to report back. We'll smell you later, alligator
 
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biscuitthief

I'm tempted to give the Rhubarb and custard pancakes a whirl.

I've already done my food shop for the week ahead so will give it a go when I do my next shop. I will also message my local indie food bank later to see what they need.
 
Reactions: 13

kachoochoo

That Forensic Man said:
Monster bums get a 2 - terrible
Thank(space)you Andy

View attachment 1863977
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andy's crumpets ended badly too



wintercynic said:
Was it the berry placenta disaster that was originally intended?
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no idea anymore tbh, everything's too much!

anyhoo, ive obtained raspberries, im going to have to make lemon curd from scratch - i have lemons

the raspberry and lemon curd baked oats is coming... tomorrow

(this is like the time i trailed catsitting for 4 cats for several weeks on f+d, innit!)
 
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S

Sweetpea2

Does anyone have the recipe for the crumpets? I want to give them a go, even if Andy already beat me to it!
 
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kachoochoo

between the jack grunk, wanting to watch the harry interview and sleeping most of the day, the oats will have to come tomorrow. i mean, she's been such a binfire; the flat's a tip, my sims are pissing all over the place, I've not added another book to my 183 books target for the year, and mr kcc may have LEFT, ive not looked up from my phone long enough to notice him. there is too much chaos!

it's like a hydra. can i say I'm sorry for everything, to everyone, forever
 
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MavisBeacon

At least Andy's crumpets have some actual natural holes, not poked with a skewer
 
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Lostcat

HotesTilaire said:
I think she may have been confronted by the oats. I’ve seen Jackslop oats rise up, become almost…sentient
Katch, send us a “who fucking knows” if you’re in trouble!
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To be fair, oats can do this even when not involved in a Jack recipe.

Many are the times I have put a pan of porridge on a low heat on the hob, looked away for 0.2 seconds, and turned back to find the oats climbing out of the pot, clutching a knife and growling at me.
 
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MavisBeacon

I had an oaty rebellion in the meecrowahvey this morning, splodges everywhere the naughty things
 
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kachoochoo

prefacing this with i had to make my own lemon curd due to lidl not carrying it (bbc good food recipe, pretty much "melt butter, lemon and sugar together, then beat in an egg")

and i haven't weighed anything, I'm using the vague rule of thumb that a tbsp is around 25g/1oz

I've halved the amounts of everything, tbh, cos i don't want to waste too much

here we go


ingredients assembled, including the homemade lemon curd that does not perform well (but that's on me)



oats, actually i forgot to halve this, this is 4 tbsp of oats, still kinda meagre, no? the recipe calls for 60g of oats for 2. yikes


YOGHURT



assembled and ive never been more embarrassed in my whole life by the abject failure of my lemon curd (this is not jack's fault)




but this is still after 50 mins at 160

gonna try some now

fuck me

i really thought it'd be a solid one, but it is in fact a WET* one!



(*shout out to ma girl john whaite's barmaid pal that time on strictly who screamed "I'M WET!!!" in response to one of his dances in the final)

as with everything that gets a big buildup it's just so blah

bland af, it needs sugar badly. well, it mostly tastes of raspberries and a bit of lemon

I'm just glad that it didn't end up as a hard one, i couldn't have coped with that

in conclusion, put whatever you fucking like in porridge, don't try to make this
 
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HotesTilaire

Dear god 60g of oats? It wouldn’t be worth putting the oven on for it!
Actually Katch you might be too hard on yourself, I’m sure the cheap shop curd is 80% pectin
 
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MavisBeacon

A serving of Quaker microwave porridge oats is 27g 100calories. So this has enough oats technically for two, but most of the baked pats recipes I've seen online have 50g oats per person, and a bunch of other stuff in. Even so, having the oven on for that is such a waste of energy. Hardly thrifty!
 
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VeniVidiVicki

50 minutes for slop that looks like the contents of a hospital waste bin Thank younfr taking one for the team @kachoochoo

I'm going to do the courgette bread tomorrow. I keep putting it off but it’s Time.
 
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kachoochoo

HotesTilaire said:
Dear god 60g of oats? It wouldn’t be worth putting the oven on for it!
Actually Katch you might be too hard on yourself, I’m sure the cheap shop curd is 80% pectin
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yup, this is the recipe which specifies 60g of oats for 2 servings. i genuinely did think it would turn out dry and crusty, instead of how it did - bland slop and a massive waste of raspberries (i don't do most fruit and veg but I love raspberries)



also here's me packing up the leftovers for our brekky tomorrow. and it looks so much worse somehow!

it tastes of nothing!!

 
Reactions: 30
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