The thing is, even if you’re in a loving, committed relationship the sex isn’t always great. I feel like men in general are not amazing in bed and don’t tend to know what they’re doing (I may be generalising or I may be unlucky) and it’s very hit and miss. I don’t know the answer but I do hear ya.
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Don't you worry, I've a big group of vibrating pals in my bedside drawer 🥲
Thanks ladies, sounds like it's slim pickings out there still!!
Thanks ladies, sounds like it's slim pickings out there still!!
I think I know what @peachesandcreamz means - sometimes a sex toy doesn’t quite satisfy because you want passion, the physicality of sex, the full-bodied experience. I remember an episode of Sex & the City where a character said she missed the weight of a man on top of her.
But in my experience fantasy is almost always better than reality and the chances of getting that sought after experience are slim.
But in my experience fantasy is almost always better than reality and the chances of getting that sought after experience are slim.
Also an ex and an acquaintance have contacted me in the past year to proposition hook ups and yet, they post loving photos and captions with their long term partners on Instagram. One of them proposed to his girlfriend last week, despite commenting on all my holiday pictures last month and sending flirty DMs (I replied neutrally or not at all). Another bought his partner a Porsche (and they’re not that well off) despite him insistently asking me to meet him in a hotel when he was in the country 9 months ago.
I just make the assumption that most men are like this, which maybe isn’t fair.
I just make the assumption that most men are like this, which maybe isn’t fair.
That is my experience. So many men who I’ve had casual things with in the past assume because I’m single I’ll want to duck them again. If they’d been any good, they wouldn’t have been a casual thing so really not sure what is in their heads
Exactly that!! I've not so much as brushed hands with anyone since 2019 so there's the physical intimacy as well as the sexual side missing.
Like a lot of you have said, previous partners were usually disappointing for me too so I'm essentially just craving a fantasy experience!
I also think I miss a bit of a flirt so I'm off to a singles event next week - despite having no desire to get into a relationship. Would be nice to meet some fellow single girl friends too, wil report back!
Men who like men are just as bad for this in my experience. Some of them need a good slap, tbh.
Yes I completely get this and feel exactly the same - it’s more about the intimacy and connection than the actual sex, I think. But like others have said I don’t want casual sex and that’s why, because it’s the closeness I want not the actual sex and that’s impossible from a ONS for me.
I reckon it’s so much easier for men in this regard as they don’t need that emotional side, it’s the physical aspect for them (again, generalising). There have been so many times I’ve cried or wanted a deep conversation after sex because of the hormones I guess and the guy just wants to roll over and go to sleep
I reckon it’s so much easier for men in this regard as they don’t need that emotional side, it’s the physical aspect for them (again, generalising). There have been so many times I’ve cried or wanted a deep conversation after sex because of the hormones I guess and the guy just wants to roll over and go to sleep
The only time I feel remotely horny lately is when I am on holiday. It's the sun , alcohol and general relaxed feel I think.
Maybe if I lived in Greece I would be a raging nymphomaniac as opposed to a I would rather read my book thanks so fuckoff woman?
Maybe if I lived in Greece I would be a raging nymphomaniac as opposed to a I would rather read my book thanks so fuckoff woman?
It very often doesn't turn out how you expect. I once met a guy and he ticked all the boxes for a no strings relationship but, on hitting the sack, I discovered a micro pen. I obviously had to continue and not react but it was soooo disappointing.
@peachesandcreamz
2019 for me too. I do completely get what you mean but it's the aftermath. If it was brilliant I would naturally feel a bond and want a repeat. If it was awful then you feel regret and there's that horrible
experience of seeing you've been blocked by a loser and user!
Liberation certainly didn't free us of some complex and painful emotions and experiences around sex. I know I'm talking more from a personal experience but I'm sure I'm not alone. Good luck
2019 for me too. I do completely get what you mean but it's the aftermath. If it was brilliant I would naturally feel a bond and want a repeat. If it was awful then you feel regret and there's that horrible
experience of seeing you've been blocked by a loser and user!
Liberation certainly didn't free us of some complex and painful emotions and experiences around sex. I know I'm talking more from a personal experience but I'm sure I'm not alone. Good luck
ETA. I recently received a WhatsApp from a guy I exchanged a few messages with back in 2018! We never met. Seven years he's had me in his little black book waiting to bestow himself on lucky old me! 
We need an eyeroll for that guy!
Honestly, same. I'd rather read the 50th spicy romance than deal with real men.
Not that I think these books are realistic but why disappoint myself with reality when my fantasy is the price of my kindle subscription?
ladies. Let me tell you I believe I've successfully established a casual/regular but temporary fwb arrangement. This is a man on pills that help him last longer, who's .. had to do this professionally in the past.. so let's say that when it comes to sex it's everything I could ever ask for on paper but he can't quite get the job done. those are rare times
So a former pornstar or entertainer can't get the job done? Being a straight woman is just the pits of despair, isnt it?
former SW at one point and yes he's doing everything hypothetically right, and yet still no finish line.
I don't think my fwb realizes how much I'm happy not dealing with the pressure of a serious relationship and just being able to focus on my life. He says that if I go out with another guy or more I have to tell him (lol no), he makes jokes about how "we're almost a couple" (my reply was: a couple of what?), "what would you say if I said let's be exclusive you're my girlfriend now?" (I'd say delete tinder first mole I'm not that stupid- he laughed). He's supposed to take me out to see a light show saturday. I hang out at his place multiple times a week because he's helping me work out, and he feeds me, and he's got a pool and sauna in his building. I told him if he keeps feeding me and doing all this stuff for me I'll keep coming back and he just laughs and laughs. he keeps asking "you like me miss?" "you'll fall in love with me..(a joke?)" "did you tell your mom about me?"(me: yeah I told her I'm casually seeing someone - him: "are you just saying that to make me happy?) "did you tell your friends?"
I'm dead serious though. Bro wants to invite me on hikes with his friends.. he's acting as if I'm pushing things forward but I'm not. It's like I've become the man in this situation.
This is a weird rant to say I find men confusing, why do they get in their heads that we're always pushing for a relationship? when sometimes we're more than fine with the status quo? I have peace, I have food, I have regular company and keep being able to work on my little life in peace. Why disrupt that?
I'm dead serious though. Bro wants to invite me on hikes with his friends.. he's acting as if I'm pushing things forward but I'm not. It's like I've become the man in this situation.
This is a weird rant to say I find men confusing, why do they get in their heads that we're always pushing for a relationship? when sometimes we're more than fine with the status quo? I have peace, I have food, I have regular company and keep being able to work on my little life in peace. Why disrupt that?
*googles- flights to South Korea*
I had a catch up with my niece (she's 22) and honestly she's got her head screwed on right when it comes to dating and men. She's always had this attitude of, when it happens it happens but she's really not bothered about it. I asked her last night if she was dating anyone and she said she wasn't, but she can't be bothered. She's too busy working her way up the ladder at work and having fun with her friends and going on holidays. Her plan is the rich wine aunt. I wish I was a lot more like her at her age!