Single by Choice

[sleepflowers]

I notice how the men act trying to get onto trains/getting a seat & that’s all I need to remember - no thanks!

This gives me a massive cringe honestly, then when they're challenged online about it they're like 'ooooh well feminism says we're all equal so you should stand!!' it's not even about that, it's about looking like a pathetic childish little boy with no consideration of others.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Didn't see the dating thread on this will have a look for it

It’s in the advice forum.

Dating after lockdown #38 midnight messages from the ghost of boyfriends past

Just a little update for you all on the cocklodger situation. He has started moving things out. Some clothes and toiletries have gone. So I think he will be gone by this weekend. I’m devastated and feel sick but I know it’s for the best.

tattle.life

 

[yogiessexdubs]

This gives me a massive cringe honestly, then when they're challenged online about it they're like 'ooooh well feminism says we're all equal so you should stand!!' it's not even about that, it's about looking like a pathetic childish little boy with no consideration of others.

Yes exactly this, ‘manspreading’ - taking up all the space cos they think they’re ‘hench’, I’m slender but fuckkkk offff.
The sickness I feel when a full grown man is racing me for a seat.
I lived in Dubai (there are lots of other issues) but all of the Arab men would give up their seat for a woman.

 

[FrostyChops]

Howdy from another happily single gal. Love having a day to myself or with my amazing daughter. I have a female dog and 2 female cats, too, so all gal household here

 

[Nurseali]

Howdy from another happily single gal. Love having a day to myself or with my amazing daughter. I have a female dog and 2 female cats, too, so all gal household here

My nobhead cat was supposed to be a girl but the vet assured me she was a boy. She has a very feminine name and I use female pronouns.

Until he people on my floor then I use male pronouns oddly.

 

[FrostyChops]

My nobhead cat was supposed to be a girl but the vet assured me she was a boy. She has a very feminine name and I use female pronouns.

Until he people on my floor then I use male pronouns oddly.

One of mine pushed my vase of flowers off the mantle, smashed glass and water everywhere. I should have known she would do that, she can't help herself..!

 

[Tell.A.Tale]

In my house, It’s me, my mother and my daughter so we live in beautiful harmony. The only trouble we have is with my Bengal cat and surprise, surprise - he is male. They are all the same! He does nothing round the house and expects us to weight on him hand and foot. He is such a little tit and I refuse to believe a female cat would have the same attitude!

 

[mousey]

In my house, It’s me, my mother and my daughter so we live in beautiful harmony. The only trouble we have is with my Bengal cat and surprise, surprise - he is male. They are all the same! He does nothing round the house and expects us to weight on him hand and foot. He is such a little tit and I refuse to believe a female cat would have the same attitude!

to be fair, I have a female cat and she can be a little tit as well

 

[Wynonna]

I feel more at peace and I sleep better when I'm single or don't have a romantic interest.

It upsets me when I hear stories about women whose husbands have cheated, left them for someone else or just simply walked out with no warning.
I also hate hearing about women whose boyfriends/partners string them along for years without getting engaged, then they split and he marries someone else 6 months later.

I still believe in true love and romance, but I think that is sadly rare, especially in this modern world. I will just stick with the fantasy of old romance films, books and songs, etc.

Since I was a child I have always dreamed of living alone in a seaside town.
I even used to daydream being a single mum at one point. Not sure what that says about me. I think it's because my own parents used to argue and cheat all the time. A life without all that drama sounds more peaceful and happier for myself and especially the child.

 

[smartalec]

I also hate hearing about women whose boyfriends/partners string them along for years without getting engaged, then they split and he marries someone else 6 months later.

Although those women might feel tit at the time, marriage does not benefit women unless they have children and give up work, due to financial protections. On every other measure, marriage is a negative, and they swerved a real pothole.

Those men are deeply pathetic types who cannot survive without constant ego-massaging or total cocklodgers always looking to drain a woman. I have a friend, who was married in those circumstances (before I got to know her and to be fair to her she found out near to the wedding that he had started dating her whilst living with the ex). Her soon-to-be ex-husband really never saw his partners as humans, but as stepping stones. The marriage drained her financially and made it x10 harder to exit. We are pretty sure the new girlfriend is lined up but he is too busy playing victim to be public about it.

 

[sleepflowers]

So many women I know who maintain that they don't like men and find relationships a drag, yet they always seem to have a new man I know it's patriarchal conditioning but I need to find some friends who actually walk the walk

 

[Zenchick101]

hmmm, I'm currently enjoying my single life immensely - healthy weight, good sleep, finances in order, and all the time in the world to focus on my career and other goals. On occasion, go out and have fun with a buff hot guy from Tinder, but otherwise all the peace in the world. Actively dating, centering men made me miserable and I'm glad it's not a priority anymore. Wouldn't mind finding someone else but for now I'm good being able to focus solely on me. It's nice! I also have extra money for retirement and some beauty treatments!!

 

[qqwertyy]

I absolutely love this for you! I went away recently and when I got back my apartment was clean and smelled lovely. I had a bath and read my book and cooked a gorgeous dinner and had an early night with fresh sheets and nobody to disturb me. It ain’t so bad

 

[tomato_paste]

Currently frustrated with being single. The financial consequences especially - it's a challenge. Everything lands on my shoulders. Mortgage, home maintenance, food, car maintenance, etc. Cleaning, shopping, the day to day. If I'm sick, I need a dog sitter to take care of the pup. I'm stretched to the max, both financially and energy- wise and it's not fun.

Talking to my friends in relationships, they have it much easier, financially especially. To be fair, they do have partners at home that are competent and willing to put in time and money into their shared homes, who clean and shop and care. Most men in my past would have made it worse, so it's a mixed bag.

It's the drawback of being single by choice I guess. I don't have to concern myself with someone else, but of course, nobody else is concerned for me either.

 

[petitspois]

Currently frustrated with being single. The financial consequences especially - it's a challenge. Everything lands on my shoulders. Mortgage, home maintenance, food, car maintenance, etc. Cleaning, shopping, the day to day. If I'm sick, I need a dog sitter to take care of the pup. I'm stretched to the max, both financially and energy- wise and it's not fun.

Talking to my friends in relationships, they have it much easier, financially especially. To be fair, they do have partners at home that are competent and willing to put in time and money into their shared homes, who clean and shop and care. Most men in my past would have made it worse, so it's a mixed bag.

It's the drawback of being single by choice I guess. I don't have to concern myself with someone else, but of course, nobody else is concerned for me either.

I take your point. Even though I'm happy single, I still think I'd be happier in a healthy, rewarding relationship. It's just that most of my relationships haven't really been all that and most relationships I come across are the same. From time to time, I see people who love and support each other and have a real laugh together. I'm not prepared to go looking for that so stay single.

 

[LaBlonde]

It's the drawback of being single by choice I guess. I don't have to concern myself with someone else, but of course, nobody else is concerned for me either.

i feel this 🥲 i’m very much single by choice but…. i can’t deny sometimes it would be easier. i have to have all four wisdom teeth extracted in the next few months and it would just be so much easier to know that someone can collect me post general anaesthetic and help me in the general feeling sorry for myself afterwards

i guess i’m thinking about the partnership side of a relationship in very idealistic terms because i know people who have partners who absolutely wouldn’t help them out in that way but equally i know people with great partners who would. like PP says above, that’s the part i crave, but i don’t have the energy to search for that rare pearl in the ocean.

 

[sleepflowers]

I have what some people think is a pretty radical view that romantic love is a complete fraud and lie for most women because there simply aren't enough good men to go around for all of us to have. As you all say, I know a few people with great partners. But I know those men pair off quickly and most do not match up to them, so there's none left for the rest of us. It's all very well saying 'there's someone out there for everyone' but IMO that's a false platitude.

 

[Quattro formaggi]

I don’t label myself but I’ve never had very strong attraction to the opposite sex (I’m not attracted to women that isn’t the issue) but since entering the perimenopause i feel virtually no attraction to anyone so that puts me off dating anyway so I don’t think I’ll be partnering up anytime soon.
Has anyone else felt like this in menopause?

 

[Nurseali]

I don’t label myself but I’ve never had very strong attraction to the opposite sex (I’m not attracted to women that isn’t the issue) but since entering the perimenopause i feel virtually no attraction to anyone so that puts me off dating anyway so I don’t think I’ll be partnering up anytime soon.
Has anyone else felt like this in menopause?

Very much so. I ended my marriage at 45 just as I was starting perimenopause.
Been single 3 years now, initially needed the time to get over what was a very controlling marriage.
Now I just have no urge, interest, motivation or want to even start looking or caring. The rare times a man flirts with me I just cringe and think Oh duck off.

I have enough in my life that when I think of a man being a part of it I just see it as another ball to juggle, another thing to accommodate and take up my time.

 

[newtoyou]

I don’t label myself but I’ve never had very strong attraction to the opposite sex (I’m not attracted to women that isn’t the issue) but since entering the perimenopause i feel virtually no attraction to anyone so that puts me off dating anyway so I don’t think I’ll be partnering up anytime soon.
Has anyone else felt like this in menopause?

Not in menopause but definitely felt that way my whole life. Have to say it’s quite freeing to not feel like you’re missing out.