Yes! I think this is a very common concept for men these days. Most men don’t want to be settling in their mid to late 30’s even into their 40’s and I think some of this is that more people don’t want kids or want to live this ‘adventure lifestyle’ and they know they have the flexibility of having kids without a biological clock like women.
Absolutely! This happened to me after my marriage ended. I was with a guy for nearly 7 years who was dead against marriage and everything and yet after we finished, he’d married someone else within 2 years. Not arsed at all but why waste your time? I’m glad I was the go to girl for men to find out what they don’t want in a relationship. Every man I’ve ever had a relationship with has now gone on to be with someone far more suited to them
Meanwhile I’m the happiest I’ve ever been - single by choice 
This happened to me - together for almost 10 years, owned a house together, looking to make the next step and then bam, 1 week before Christmas, he comes home and tells me he doesn’t love me anymore and moves out the same day. I then find out he had already set up a new flat 250 miles up north and within a year had met someone new and married them and had a baby with them, when he told me he wasn’t interested in marriage or kids. I can’t say I didn’t find it devastating, and I was so angry at the time that he had wasted my time, and left me single at an age where it is incredibly difficult to meet anyone else, whereas he swanned off and met someone younger almost straight away, while declaring he wasn’t interested in another relationship.
I mean good for them if they find that but having been in my early 20s a couple of years ago, I remember that most women don't want men that much older then them
Me! 11 years together and when it came to a very messy end because I found out he’d been cheating on me for 5 years
within 12 months he was engaged to her, I was devastated initially and then I realised, he’s lied to her as well (for the first 2 years she knew about me and then there was a turning point and he told her he’d split with me when he hadn’t) so their relationship is far from perfect & he denied being engaged to her when his very close friend asked, he literally sent the classic hand up, ring on finger selfie of them both to him and he made an excuse that the camera flipped the photo and it was the wrong hand 
we assume it’s because he didn’t want me to find out he’s engaged, unbeknown to him, his family had been very supportive and stayed in touch so one of them had already called to confirm because he was introducing her to the family as his fiancé and she was meeting them for the first time in five years.They're 100% deluded, it's hilarious! I don't know of anyone my age (just out of my 20s) who settled with someone a lot older. They'll find out the hard way when they get to 50 and realise no one wants their outdated sperm and beer belly, and that the whole 'men age gracefully' thing is limited to rich celebs!
yeah I know of literally one person and the guy is 15 years older not 30 then her and fit and cute
Very well put. My last ex and I'm going back quite a few years used to keep saying how proud he was of his body. This was a guy quite overweight, big bellied, large bald spot etc and that's ok. But to keep announcing how proud he was made me think he must have some kind of magic mirror! I'll never understand men and have given up trying. Mind you, when we finished after eight years, another woman swooped in and took him on within a month!
Watch what I like, when I like, make fun foods with no one else weighing in on what's for dinner, sleep as long as I like, pleasure myself......well, whenever I like and also successfully every time A lot more than I can say for past partners! And then seeing comments in the work Teams chat about how people are "ready to strangle" their partners / kids that they're isolating with....YOU CHOSE THEM! You chose to get into a relationship, you chose to move in, you chose to procreate - why is so funny to talk about not being able to stand your spouse? So bizarre to me!
hahah welcome!! I'm not sure why it's gone quiet but happy it's been resurrected!!HELLO FRIENDS! Come over from Childfree by Choice and sooooo very excited to have found this thread, even if it's currently snoozing a little
I am single by choice and childless by choice! Live alone and love every minute of it. Over lockdown I was constantly met with gasps and concern when people learned I was isolating alone, and I always made sure to let them know how happy I was doing so
I'm also constantly asked by...usually older men who I don't know, weirdly, "Why are you single?!??!". I believe it's meant as a pity compliment as in "How could you POSSIBLY be single because you're so pretty!!". I always say - because I haven't found anyone good enough yet! Usually leaves them a bit bemused because they don't expect me to be so confident in myself lol!
Gosh SOOOO many things I could say, but overall just happy this thread exists
Agreed. I grew up in family where the women need men to be happy. I always thought I'd go down that route but just never did? Now, you'd have to be a real special person to interrupt and make me want to give up my freedom. It's funny because my mum and I had a debate a few months ago about this because my younger cousin is going down the same route as the rest of my family, jumping from 1 relationship to the next. I mentioned to her that my cousin could benefit from being on her own (she's 19) and just enjoying herself with her friends and my mum was honestly baffled by the suggestion.
I remember as a teen (when my sister had moved out) I would be super excited when my parents went out to do the weekly food shop - I would put on my headphones and sing and dance to my favourite music, watch whatever TV I liked, take MySpace selfies
It might only have been for an hour or so but it felt like a taste of freedom. In hindsight, no wonder I am happy alone 
You're right. It's brilliant being single. 
I understand these comments completely. My dad often makes comments but usually in a ‘funny’ way e.g I wish someone would take you off my hands etc. I’ve told him how I’m fine being single but I think he wants a breather from me. I was very close to my mum who passed away when I was 26 and I would speak to her every day and now I do that with my dad. He’s hoping that if I find someone it gives him a breather I think.I posted this in childfree by choice but I thought I'd get some input from here actually!
Recently my Dad was talking how he hopes to retire soon. I told him you absolutely should - he's worked for 44+ years and deserves it! However he made a comment that he wants me to be "settled down" first (i.e. with a partner that can 'look after' me??). I said to him, what if I never get into a relationship? I'm more than happy with the people I have in my life and don't feel there is anything missing. It made me a bit uncomfortable as now I feel a pressure that he won't be happy retiring until I am "settled down"?
I'm hoping I can convince him I am just fine and he doesn't need to worry (I know that's a big ask from a parent!) but arghhhhh it's really weighing on my mind
I have a friend in this situation. She is engaged to a man who was already engaged to someone else before they dated. He'd strung that other woman along for years, promising marriage and children, then dumped her to be with my friend (she fancied him but didn't do anything as he was with the other girl, and she didn't know he felt the same way about her at the time), and now he is doing the same to her. My friend isn't that bothered about having children but he talks about it as if they have all the time in the world, except she's now 40 and he is now 46. His ex is married with children now.
