I don't understand why this is now a thing. I honestly am to the point I'm off birth control and have no intentions of having sex again. Men act like they have the upper hand when really they don't. They usually eat like slobs, don't clean themselves, and act like children. I wish other women would stop worshipping them. Maybe then they would get off their asses. We aren't their mom.
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I think the main problem is (still) that the woman thinks the man will change once they get married and especially when they have children. They won't. I'm not saying "all" but many men don't even want the children, they just go along with their wives' wishes. You can't expect a man to suddenly become a family man in that situation.
this.
i have a friend who has two small children - her husband never wanted to be a dad, had expressed this numerous times to her, she desperately wanted them so they had them. all she does now is complain that he doesn’t pull his weight, is bad at one on one time with the children, is out with his mates every saturday etc etc. as much as i sympathise, this was always going to be the case and he never claimed otherwise.
I've actually had the opposite experience. Everytime I tell them I don't want kids they throw a fit lol.
Back in the day; I was engaged to be married and was working with an older woman whose husband was just about to retire (she only worked a few hours a week in the office). She was witching and complaining about how he was going to be at home all day, how she was going to have to spend more time with him, he'd be under her feet, making a mess, etc., etc. I genuinely couldn't understand her attitude. How wonderful to have your husband at home all day! Two marriages and a long-term relationship later and I knew exactly what she was talking about.
Urgh. I have Bumble and honestly rarely match with anyone because I won’t swipe on anyone that has “wants kids someday” ticked in their bio. What’s the point when I don’t want them!? It’s slim pickings. Another reason I rarely match with anyone is cause I’ve usually got my profile deactivated
I just cannot be bothered to actually date or attempt to date. I don’t want kids or marriage and I don’t want to live with someone.The only time I dislike being single is when I’m not invited out with “couples”. This sometimes happens in my extended friendship group - I’m closer to some of them than some others and yet I don’t get asked to certain things and it’s obvious the reason is because it’s intended to be a couples only night
Only cats are easier!
Years ago (not now!) I used be a PA to somebody and their couply get togethers were off the scale. Very awkward tbf when any of the marriages fell asunder but y'know they decided to be smug to begin with so it ended up being strangely entertainingUrgh. I have Bumble and honestly rarely match with anyone because I won’t swipe on anyone that has “wants kids someday” ticked in their bio. What’s the point when I don’t want them!? It’s slim pickings. Another reason I rarely match with anyone is cause I’ve usually got my profile deactivated
The only time I dislike being single is when I’m not invited out with “couples”. This sometimes happens in my extended friendship group - I’m closer to some of them than some others and yet I don’t get asked to certain things and it’s obvious the reason is because it’s intended to be a couples only night
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A friend of mine (who should be single) was having a moan about her husband when one of the other (smug) men said his wife would love it if he was at home more for them to be together. I kept a blank face as I knew his wife had a lover as he was so crap in bed but liked the lifestyle.
I hear ya! I too tried a dating site, but I simply don't want what the men want. Basically they want a housekeeper (skivvy) with a bit of sex thrown in from time to time. Oh, and about 90% say they're looking for "the girl next door" and I'm certainly not that (whatever it means)!Urgh. I have Bumble and honestly rarely match with anyone because I won’t swipe on anyone that has “wants kids someday” ticked in their bio. What’s the point when I don’t want them!? It’s slim pickings. Another reason I rarely match with anyone is cause I’ve usually got my profile deactivated
The only time I dislike being single is when I’m not invited out with “couples”. This sometimes happens in my extended friendship group - I’m closer to some of them than some others and yet I don’t get asked to certain things and it’s obvious the reason is because it’s intended to be a couples only night
I've never understood these "couples events" - what's the problem with throwing in a few singles? I just don't get it.
I am on Bumble but I don't like the format because women have to start the convo and I literally never want to start a convo with a man. He can talk to me!!
I think you lot might find this video interesting. Number 2: I probably wouldn't have even described is a 'trauma couple' tbh. I think that's arguably the most common type of relationship 
I'm newly single (getting divorced) and it's made me realize just how much time and energy a lot of women (myself included) spent on their male partners. So much of his needs were prioritised above mine. I see it in so many of my friends now too. Them planning the holidays, them making reservations, them worrying about their partner's stress, all the house admin... don't get me started on the children! It's absolutely exhausting and now it's SO FREEING not to have to worry about all of that any more. Men who are unorganized, unmotivated and not outgoing give me major red flags now!
Omg this! This is exactly what I was trying to say! My best friend and her partner are exactly like this, to the point I don't enjoy seeing them together anymore. She has to lead him by the hand in EVERYTHING. I just want to give her a shakeI think you lot might find this video interesting. Number 2: I probably wouldn't have even described is a 'trauma couple' tbh. I think that's arguably the most common type of relationship
I used to work in a popular retail store where you reserve an item and come and pick it up. There was this one bloke that came in and was hunting for a specific item that was a present for his mother. I go to help him, we’ve got the item he wants in stock but it’s on reserve. After some back and fourth and phone call to his wife we come to realise that she was actually the one that had bleeping reserved it and sent him in WITH the number on a bit of paper but he hadn’t been listening. Safe to say, it was the best acting of my life. Oscar worthy performance. Cause the other 99% of me wanted to sock him in the nose for being such an incompetent mole. She did the whole work for him and it was HIS mother’s present. He had one job. Take the number into the shop and pick it up. 1 JOB!!!!I'm newly single (getting divorced) and it's made me realize just how much time and energy a lot of women (myself included) spent on their male partners. So much of his needs were prioritised above mine. I see it in so many of my friends now too. Them planning the holidays, them making reservations, them worrying about their partner's stress, all the house admin... don't get me started on the children! It's absolutely exhausting and now it's SO FREEING not to have to worry about all of that any more. Men who are unorganized, unmotivated and not outgoing give me major red flags now!
Omg this! This is exactly what I was trying to say! My best friend and her partner are exactly like this, to the point I don't enjoy seeing them together anymore. She has to lead him by the hand in EVERYTHING. I just want to give her a shake
It's pathetic! I wonder how some of them manage to leave the house
This reminds me of my ex-boyfriend.
When I broke up with him after he shouted at me, he stated that no woman EVER walked away from him after shouting.
He was so used to women taking his bull that he was shocked when I left after the first red flag.
And then they wonder why you don't become a sex goddess come bedtime.I'm newly single (getting divorced) and it's made me realize just how much time and energy a lot of women (myself included) spent on their male partners. So much of his needs were prioritised above mine. I see it in so many of my friends now too. Them planning the holidays, them making reservations, them worrying about their partner's stress, all the house admin... don't get me started on the children! It's absolutely exhausting and now it's SO FREEING not to have to worry about all of that any more. Men who are unorganized, unmotivated and not outgoing give me major red flags now!
Omg this! This is exactly what I was trying to say! My best friend and her partner are exactly like this, to the point I don't enjoy seeing them together anymore. She has to lead him by the hand in EVERYTHING. I just want to give her a shake
Recent posts are reminding me of the brilliant "You should’ve asked" comic post by French artist, Emma: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
Another brilliant post by her is "Where does it go?" (about chores 'magically' disappearing if they're put off for long enough) https://english.emmaclit.com/2022/09/01/where-does-it-go/
Another brilliant post by her is "Where does it go?" (about chores 'magically' disappearing if they're put off for long enough) https://english.emmaclit.com/2022/09/01/where-does-it-go/
This is amazing and I can relate to pretty much everything - it puts into words what I never could. It's honestly pathetic how incompetent so many men are and have been raised to be.
Yes, and they will continue to be so as long as women (their mothers) keep running around doing everything for them.
I'm not actively looking to date as well because many men are just looking for something casual - (late 20's), from what I've heard many think they'll find a woman 20 years younger so they can wait and settle down in their 50's