Single by Choice

LaBlonde said:

men get to handsome bachelors about town, rebels that will never be pinned down until who will be the lucky woman to tame them until at least their late 50s. or older.

look at how differently the media used to talk about george clooney compared to how they speak about jennifer anniston.

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and women are crazy cat ladies

shadowcat5 said:

do men ever get asked?

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It’s a good point isn’t it and pretty much what @LaBlonde said. Men are totally ‘allowed’ to be single, women are not. Boils my piss something chronic that.

shadowcat5 said:

and women are crazy cat ladies

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I literally am but I adore it

MarthaFarkus said:

It’s a good point isn’t it and pretty much what @LaBlonde said. Men are totally ‘allowed’ to be single, women are not. Boils my piss something chronic that.


I literally am but I adore it

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you know what is hilarious that I just thought about

men being single = career driven, never found the right one, highly respectable who won’t settle

women being single = unwanted, left on the shelf, probably crazy

when usually the reality is that single men are often single cause they’re insufferable man babies or incels and women are often single because they’re career driven, have a lot of self respect and won’t settle for anyone.

I've had a terrible day being single. Nice lie in. Macdonald breakfast delivered. Made scones. Feet up watching a black & white Miss Marple film. Did quite a bit of housework yesterday so fairly organised. It's all ok today I'm good friends with someone (not happily married) and she tells me I'm the only self supporting woman she knows! I don't know if I should be happy or running to the freak hospital.

mousey said:

how do people find answering the question of “so have you found anyone?” Or “when is it going to be you?” at like weddings etc. What do you say that will stop asking forever lol

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Not exactly the same, but I've had people directly ask me "so why aren't you married/with anyone?" and I always respond with "just lucky I guess" - it makes others around laugh and I've seen the asker's facial expression change as they're jolted into the realisation that perhaps that wasn't a polite thing to ask.

mediocrehouseplant said:

Not exactly the same, but I've had people directly ask me "so why aren't you married/with anyone?" and I always respond with "just lucky I guess" - it makes others around laugh and I've seen the asker's facial expression change as they realise that perhaps that wasn't a polite thing to ask.

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Best way to respond to stuff like that. Someone made a comment about how much weight I’d lost and how good I looked, I replied “I’ve actually been really unwell” (not a lie, I had been for a couple of months) and they looked so embarrassed. Some people just don’t seem to realise how impolite they are and that there are some things you just don’t need to comment on.

Don’t get me wrong I quite like the idea of a relationship, but I’m not ashamed to admit I like my solitude and I feel like if I did get a boyfriend it would eat up my alone time if that makes sense ? Anyway, I’m really waiting for jack grealish to come on the market

mediocrehouseplant said:

"so why aren't you married/with anyone?"

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You should of said “ I haven’t booked Dubai yet M’love” ( for anyone not on the brogan thread, this is what she done and chose her own ring)

LaBlonde said:

oh wow thank you for this thread! i feel seen!

i’ve gradually come to terms with the fact that i have a complicated relationship with sex and intimacy - i’m almost certainly on the ace spectrum though i identify heavily as demisexual i suppose.

i don’t like people in my space (even if close friends stay with me for a night or two i’m ready for them to leave) and need alone time: i think i just work best single, when my time is my own and i can focus on what makes me happy. this does sometimes collide with general loneliness but i don’t know if i actually feel it or if i feel like i SHOULD feel it, if that makes sense.

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God I feel like I could have written this myself. I discovered the term demisexual this year and I feel this resonates with me perfectly.

I have been single for nearly 9 years. I had a very deep emotional connection with my ex and I’m not sure I can ever recreate that again but without that I can’t entertain the idea of being with someone.

Venom said:

Don’t get me wrong I quite like the idea of a relationship, but I’m not ashamed to admit I like my solitude and I feel like if I did get a boyfriend it would eat up my alone time if that makes sense

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God yes, one of my exes got annoyed at me for saying I didn't want to see him every day. Wish I'd dumped him earlier as he turned out to be a cheating shit.

I've heard the expression "extroverted introvert" and think it fits me - I need to be alone to relax and recharge, can't do it fully if I don't spend time without someone who's just breathing in the same home! People in general exhaust me even though I enjoy being social. Just give me a full day of solitude after our night out, don't even text me

It’s so refreshing to see so many like-minded people. I’m reading every post like “yes, YES, me too!”

mediocrehouseplant said:

God yes, one of my exes got annoyed at me for saying I didn't want to see him every day. Wish I'd dumped him earlier as he turned out to be a cheating shit.

I've heard the expression "extroverted introvert" and think it fits me - I need to be alone to relax and recharge, can't do it fully if I don't spend time without someone who's just breathing in the same home! People in general exhaust me even though I enjoy being social. Just give me a full day of solitude after our night out, don't even text me

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this this this!!

all my friends and family know that sunday is MY day i’ll see you in the week, i’ll spend all day with you on saturday, but do not expect me to see you every single day. absolutely not.

this is why i sometimes struggle going on holidays with people. i love them all dearly but after four or so days i’m ready to be by myself. if it wasn’t so expensive i would suggest us all booking separate rooms

LaBlonde said:

this is why i sometimes struggle going on holidays with people. i love them all dearly but after four or so days i’m ready to be by myself. if it wasn’t so expensive i would suggest us all booking separate rooms

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"I'm just popping out for a little stroll around the block/to the tabac/down to the sea and back"
"Oooh sounds nice, I'll come"

please don't

You lot are definitely my people. I’m big into fitness so I always claim to “have to stay on track” while I’m away. I don’t really give a shit but it’s a good excuse to sod off alone for an hour because nobody wants to come

shadowcat5 said:

You lot are definitely my people. I’m big into fitness so I always claim to “have to stay on track” while I’m away. I don’t really give a shit but it’s a good excuse to sod off alone for an hour because nobody wants to come

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I despise fitness but may have to take it up now

mediocrehouseplant said:

I despise fitness but may have to take it up now

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I might be in the gym, I might be on a run, I might also be in the beach bar enjoying a mocktail… who knows

I like how this is extending to people who just like being alone in general I know a couple of people who can’t stand to be alone, I feel sorry for them. Someone I know recently spent their first night alone in their house in 30 years!

I couldn’t imagine going on holiday with people. Not even my bestest bestest friend. I couldn’t think of anything worse than a holiday away with someone. I am VERY happy alone. TOO happy haha. I would like to find someone to enjoy life with but I don’t think I can.

The thing is I tell people they’re doing my head in and to leave me alone I don’t have a filter so I just come across as rude but I’m really not.

Yesssss this is me, and I never EVER meet anyone like this IRL so I'm glad for the thread!

I'm not opposed to the idea of being in a relationship in principle, and occasionally I even meet people I really like and start wondering if I could imagine a future with them. But something always comes up pretty quickly that makes me realise it would never work, whether it's having totally different life goals, not liking any of the same food (not joking - just imagine how complicated and annoying that would get if we lived together), realising they're a sociopath who'd probably cheat on me at the first opportunity... you get the idea. I don't know if it's me who's particularly incompatible with other people or if I'm just unusually realistic about my crushes, but either way, there's never been anyone in my life where I wanted to be with them and thought it would work out long term. And I don't feel like I'm missing out.

The only times I ever wish I had a partner are when I'm feeling particularly anxious and would like to have someone around to cuddle with - I have some really great friends, but there's a limit to how often I can reasonably ask them to travel to my house so I can cling to them like a limpet for half an hour haha. But luckily that doesn't happen too often and is massively outweighed by not having to have another person *existing* in my space the other 95% of the time.

Sglodion said:

The only times I ever wish I had a partner are when I'm feeling particularly anxious and would like to have someone around to cuddle with - I have some really great friends, but there's a limit to how often I can reasonably ask them to travel to my house so I can cling to them like a limpet for half an hour haha. But luckily that doesn't happen too often and is massively outweighed by not having to have another person *existing* in my space the other 95% of the time.

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i agree with your whole post but especially this!

the few times i wish someone was around is when i don’t feel well and it would be nice for someone to make me food etc while i’m in bed. none of this counteracts the general anxiety of having someone around all the time. i think i’m lacking whatever gene gives you that kind of neediness tbh. i don’t need it and so i don’t tend to seek it out.

a woman in work was asking me what it’s like to always come home to an empty house (she’s also one of those women who thinks being single means i creep around back alleys and eat from the dumpsters at mcdonalds) and i said “it’s great!” which seemed to surprise her

i guess i’ve just never craved validation through romantic relationships like a lot of people i know do. i get my validation from my family, my friendships, my hobbies, the things i love.

(plus dating is terrifying. having to tell your friends the date location and time so they know where you are in case something happens. judging when you give this complete stranger your last name and show them when you live. wondering if there’s going to be a point where this person you thought you knew just flips?! nope, it’s self preservation at this point, thank you)