Single by Choice

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What I never understand is why it bothers other people so much. They have their own partner and kids so why does it unsettle them so much?!
i don’t get it either and never have. some of the things people have said to me, directly indirectly and even here on tattle, just scream of their own insecurities tbh. some people just cannot see outside of themselves or what they think the “norm” is.
 
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So many people are co-dependent, they truly cannot understand why other people are not (that’s what I tell myself anyway! )
 
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Here's an example. A relative of mine always invites me and others to their home which is a lot of work for them. This year they had an invite where they'd be looked after for a change but they were feeling guilty telling people. I said not to worry about me, I'd be perfectly happy to be home at Christmas, even welcome and enjoy it.
Anyways I was chatting to a friend (an ex actually) and immediately he said "oh well I'll have to come around then and keep you company" It was as much as I could do to refrain from yelling "F*CK off! " Why would you assume I want you around my place?" Urgh. I did say it in not so many words. I think he was shocked I would choose ( yes choose you Muppet) to be on my own!
 
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I see so many people who are clinging onto unhappy relationships due to fear of being alone and they think that people who choose to be single have issues?
 
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I am single and enjoy it. That’s not to say if I met someone I wouldn’t be interested. But I don’t actively pursue dating / apps or whatever. So, chances of meeting someone are slim! But one thing I hate about being single is the assumption that you are somehow less complete. Less settled. Less stable! It’s infuriating …… I own a house, car by myself - and have a steady, good job. And yet, I’m deemed less settled than others because of my relationship status. It’s unfair.
 
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What I never understand is why it bothers other people so much. They have their own partner and kids so why does it unsettle them so much?!
Anyone that feels the need to judge other people's lives always have big insecurities of their own. They probably feel they wouldn't be able to cope alone if their parner left, so seeing single people is triggering that fear, or they might want to leave but feel that they can't and envy single people
 
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They're scared/jealous of us non conformists
I honestly think that so many people can’t get their heads around being alone. I rarely see any relationships I would consider to be healthy. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who makes you unhappy? Been there done that and I value myself and my peace too much to do it again.
 
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I couldn’t agree more & was thinking something similar earlier! I’m treated like I’m not a complete adult, despite owning a house & a rental property (which I look after myself), a car, a dog and a demanding full time job, all while trying to maintain a social life. I have a lot of responsibilities in my life and yet the perception from some is that I’m still not fully grown up yet as I haven’t got a partner, very strange.
 
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I imagine a lot of people of this thread are like this I wonder sometimes if it’s listening to my friends that reassures me of my single status

 
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What I never understand is why it bothers other people so much. They have their own partner and kids so why does it unsettle them so much?!
A lot of women are threatened by the presence of a single woman- they think you’re going to try to ‘steal’ their fuckwad of a husband.
 
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A lot of women are threatened by the presence of a single woman- they think you’re going to try to ‘steal’ their fuckwad of a husband.
Yeah, I can't even chat to a male neighbour as they get called in - doesn't matter what age they are. Seems I'm a threat right up till they pop their clogs.
 
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Just to say I bloody love this thread and I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the mind-numbing politics of going to a partner's family for Christmas or New Year
 
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Just to say I bloody love this thread and I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the mind-numbing politics of going to a partner's family for Christmas or New Year
Me too! I was thinking the other day don’t think I could enjoy the awkwardness of being with someone else’s family for a significant amount of time.
 
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A lot of women are threatened by the presence of a single woman- they think you’re going to try to ‘steal’ their fuckwad of a husband.
Yes, I have experienced a lot of this! Also when I meet men now they are quick to mention they are married. Like I’m gonna try it on with them or something As if I’d be interested in their dusty selves, please.
 
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I find it quite funny when you come across a man in a day to day situation (walking the dog, picking up kids etc.) and they are chatty and friendly then, when you see them with their wives, they are quiet as a mouse.
 
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Just to say I bloody love this thread and I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the mind-numbing politics of going to a partner's family for Christmas or New Year
I find Christmas much easier now I'm single.

When I was with my kids dad, we always had to go over to theirs on Christmas Day, his family are weird (they don't have Christmas dinner, so we'd go over and have nothing to eat, kids would open presents, and then I'd come home at 3pm and start cooking for us!). So much easier not having to bother with that carry on!

Then with my recent Ex, there was the annual Christmas present trauma. He would only accept 'useful' presents - which is fair enough, I know people don't like tat. So I'd buy things I knew he needed (electric toothbrush heads, lighters, socks) or that he would like (a new shirt, aftershave, and so on). However he wouldn't buy anything for me unless I wrote a list, and provided links to examples. The last year we were together I was exhausted by having to think of my own presents for the 8th year running and didn't give him a list...so I got nothing.

At least now I can buy my own presents as and when I want to!
 
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Hah! @Lalla mentioning useful presents. I like them too. Years ago, was seeing a guy. He was a lot older than me. He asked what I'd like for Christmas? I said I'd love a new iron (I was on benefits at the time and buying one was a luxury for me). Anyways he did the predictable "I'm not getting you an iron for Christmas!" So what did I end up with? The most hideous shocking pink satin pyjamas which I took to the charity shop. I was gutted.
 
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