Siblings at party advice please

[Mardymermaid]

Hi
having a bit of an issue and not sure what to do about it. My son is having a birthday party there are 3 years between him and his younger brother but his brother has ASD possible ADHD and can be quite full on . I want my eldest to have time for just him as it can be challenging with his brother but his brother also never gets invited to parties so it feels like I am leaving him out too. I am torn between leaving him and other sibling with their dad and just focusing on my eldest and feeling like a total monster and wanting to take him but I know that is the more difficult option.

what would you do?
Thanks

 

[JoeBloggs]

I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Perhaps their dad could take them out for an activity and maybe party bags afterwards. It’s your eldest day, depending on age, maybe ask you eldest what he’d like?

 

[Mardymermaid]

I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Perhaps their dad could take them out for an activity and maybe party bags afterwards. It’s your eldest day, depending on age, maybe ask you eldest what he’d like?

Thank you , mum guilt is so hard sometimes. I will arrange something for sure if he doesn't go. Will have a chat with my eldest too.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Thank you , mum guilt is so hard sometimes. I will arrange something for sure if he doesn't go. Will have a chat with my eldest too.

I think kids see kids with other behaviors differently to adults, they don't necessarily see it as bad. He may be really upset if his brother isn't there but then on the other hand he may well be relived to have some space and time without him. There is nothing to feel guilty about, you are trying to juggle to get the best situation for all and that's a good thing.