Should we elope?

[bellinibobble]

Just popping in to say there is a compromise!
I am (fingers crossed!) getting married next year in Italy, just immediate family and three lifelong friends each are invited. We have a wedding planner who is incredible and so we have felt zero stress planning the wedding, but the closest people to us can still share our day.

 

[openbook1]

Do it and spend your money on yourselves and your home instead of on loads of guests who dont give a toss anyway.

Yess!! Honestly, the thought of spending SO much money on other people (food and drink) makes me cringe. And with weddings delayed due to Covid, it seems it would be hard to get into popular venues next year. I am so set on eloping when we can get down to California again, right now the border is closed.

 

[mcfeez]

I didn't elope but really wanted to, my husband wasn't as fond of the idea. So our compromise was a small, local wedding. It still made me incredibly anxious, I really honestly did not look forward to my wedding. I am totally pro marriage but not into weddings at all. I just think eloping is so romantic and your wedding is your own.

 

[HanB33]

I don't think you can be selfish in regards to eloping. The day is about you and your partner, nobody else. It's about how you both would like to become a unit! Myself and my partner eloped and my mum was angry...she still can't grasp why I did it because now she will never see her "princess" get married .

If we want to we could always have a small celebration ceremony for an anniversary or whatever...I just think that decision is for you and your other half only.

 

[Isa Drennan]

I would love to elope

The thought of having to spend £30 a head for people I’m not that close with to have a meal (e.g aunts) just sounds ridiculous to me, also the worry of guests taking drugs etc is too much! I don’t want a wedding here as I believe it would quickly revolve around other people

 

[Fudgecakes]

Question for those who did elope - did you guys stay together the night before? We are eloping in 3 weeks (hopefully ) and not sure if we would be better spending the night before apart

 

[openbook1]

Whilst I don’t wish that we’d eloped, I do wish that we’d had a much smaller wedding than we did. We had 65 day guests and about 120 in the evening and most of those day guests (where we spent over £30 a head) were people who we felt we ‘had’ to invite for one reason or another rather than people who we actually wanted to be there. If we were going to do it all again I think we could have probably halved the day guests!

See, here, you don't have separate guests for the day and evening. You either have people at the day ceremony and the evening or do not invite them at all. I am all for eloping. I live overseas from my family, my husband's family is a 14-hour drive away. I hate being the center of attention, and my mum doesn't live here so we can't go dress shopping easily together. I always was kind of against spending a lot of money too on one day and when most of the money is spent to please others. We were about to book an elopement and then covid happened. But Covid, especially has sealed the fact, that we don't want to spend a huge amount of money.

 

[Blondie123]

We eloped (with my parents as witnesses) and after the initial shock people were super happy for us. A big wedding was just never something that suited either of us and we'd have been doing it to please others!

Do exactly what you and your partner want, everyone else will get over it (and if they don't they are being a dick!)

 

[FakeSmile]

Whilst I don’t wish that we’d eloped, I do wish that we’d had a much smaller wedding than we did. We had 65 day guests and about 120 in the evening and most of those day guests (where we spent over £30 a head) were people who we felt we ‘had’ to invite for one reason or another rather than people who we actually wanted to be there. If we were going to do it all again I think we could have probably halved the day guests!

 

[Itsmedoctortea]

Yes 100 percent yes! We eloped to NYC best decision ever and no regrets! We told parents and that was it. NYC - city hall is the easiest and cheapest way to get married and I would do it all again in a heartbeat

 

[FizzyFruits]

It is something we are considering too- seems a lot of plus points to it. But would be interesting to hear if any one has got any regrets about eloping? And wish they’d done things a bit differently?

 

[Pixipoppy]

I’d definitely elope! Can’t get my head round spending loads of money on a wedding!

 

[openbook1]

There is an elopement thread here with some good discussion going on https://tattle.life/threads/eloping.4518/

 

[Pink Sparkle]

We eloped got NYC got married in Central Park. Best decision we ever made. Paid one person to do everything ( so cheap compared to U.K.) it was honestly incredible! We then had a party back home so still had that evening do X