Eloping

[bubbletea123]

Have any of you eloped, just the two of you and then had a party when you got back? How did it go?

We are engaged and in the beginning stages of wedding planning. I've never been the girl to dream of a big wedding, and my fiance and I have a small family and friend group. My family is in the UK and his the other side of the country. We are both introverted and I especially hate the idea of attention on me walking down the aisle, etc. Also, with my family overseas, the thought of wedding dress shopping makes me upset as my mum isn't here. Honestly, I would be quite happy going away to our favourite destination just the two of us and getting married, having nice photos done. My fiance isn't so sure. I also don't really see the point of spending such a huge amount of money on a wedding, and we would also be having an adult only wedding if we were to have it here. I read Kate La Vie's blog posts and watched her videos about eloping and she and her husband's reasons to elope seemed very similar.

I am just curious of people's opinions that have gone through it.

 

[WatchingandJudging]

Have any of you eloped, just the two of you and then had a party when you got back? How did it go?

We are engaged and in the beginning stages of wedding planning. I've never been the girl to dream of a big wedding, and my fiance and I have a small family and friend group. My family is in the UK and his the other side of the country. We are both introverted and I especially hate the idea of attention on me walking down the aisle, etc. Also, with my family overseas, the thought of wedding dress shopping makes me upset as my mum isn't here. Honestly, I would be quite happy going away to our favourite destination just the two of us and getting married, having nice photos done. My fiance isn't so sure. I also don't really see the point of spending such a huge amount of money on a wedding, and we would also be having an adult only wedding if we were to have it here. I read Kate La Vie's blog posts and watched her videos about eloping and she and her husband's reasons to elope seemed very similar.

I am just curious of people's opinions that have gone through it.

Do it! It’s you and your partners wedding day, no one else’s! Honestly, the family dynamics and seating plans are enough to send you crazy (going through this currently!).

 

[Doobots]

A wedding is about the vows, nothing else so don't worry about all the other stuff. However little or huge a deal you want to make it, is totally up to you. You could elope or adapt the day to be small and exactly to your tastes (like no walking down the aisle).

I bought my dress on my own because my family live far away and it was actually fine btw. I wish I'd had my mum there but it wasn't an ordeal.

 

[Silly Sausage]

I never dreamed of a wedding either and can completely relate to not wanting to be the center of attention. We got married at the City Hall in Manhattan, alone. No party after, just a stroll to Chinatown for lunch. No regrets

 

[MissP]

While we didn’t elope, we didn’t tell anyone or invite anyone other than parents, siblings and grandparents. And even then we told them a few weeks before. I simply could not be arsed with the hassle of organising and we had a lovely, intimate and stress-free day. I wanted to be a wife, but not a bride. Having a big party / do just isn’t us a a couple and having to organise a wedding just does not interest me in the slightest.
Mostly people were understanding and appreciated that it was our day to celebrate how we wanted but my auntie behaved like a complete spoilt brat, threw her toys out the pram and literally hasn’t spoken to me since we said we wouldn’t be inviting any extended family. But it says more about her than it does about me so I just let her crack on with it. Some people with inevitably be disappointed but you just need to do what feels right for you as a couple and not be swayed or pressured by anyone.

 

[Lanali]

We did and it was the best decision ever, absolutely no regrets! Just the two of us in Vegas, a lovely little chapel (not a tacky one), no stress or worrying about anyone else. Our families both knew and were happy with our plans. We did have a big party when we came back which was more for our mum’s sakes rather than our own. I didn’t enjoy it tho as found out I was pregnant two days before the party and only a few close friends and family knew, I had to pretend I was drinking and having a good time when all I wanted to do was go to bed! I’m glad we did have the party now though, nearly four years later

 

[Sabbie]

We got married because of immigration forcing us to, so we went to Vegas alone and got married at their bog standard registry office and had two strangers as witnesses who were also getting married and we were their witnesses. We then got the bus back to our hotel on the strip and had a great time!

 

[PineappleQueen19]

Yes, eloped to NYC a few years ago. It was wonderful and perfect, no regrets! And it’s legally recognised in the UK, you just need a few extra bits of official paperwork when you’re there but it’s all part of the adventure. Let me know if you have any specific questions.

You’ll know what’s right for you.

 

[midnightrose]

We are eloping in April. Getting married in St Lucia on the beach. Similar reasons to you. Plus we are combining the honeymoon with the wedding. Only my parents will be attending. For me, a wedding and marriage is a spiritual commitment between me and my partner. We are considering having a party later on in the year to celebrate with family and friends. This will likely be small, and at a pub or nice function room. We also want to keep costs down. I used to want a big wedding, but it seems unnecessary to me now.

also not sure I’ll be having a hen do, just not really that keen on the idea, and I’ve only got a handful of friends anyway.

 

[Mayday]

I would def elope, just because its so much cheaper and planning a wedding seems stressful!

If anyone gets upset over it, you could always live stream a bit on the day so it feels like they're there (if its not too much hassle), or Facetime them before the ceremony so they can see you both in your outfits and such?

 

[LittleMy]

My husband and I eloped Feb last year without telling anyone what we we were doing. We went to Vegas for my 30th and had it all planned out already. It was amazing. We were never into the idea of a big wedding and it was better financially speaking too. Not everyone was happy about it when they found out, but that didn’t bother us much. For me, a wedding is about two people and what they want. It was also so stress free and just a lot of fun. I feel like i probably enjoyed myself more than most brides do at big weddings because there was nothing to worry about; I’ve been a bridesmaid and that was stressful enough. If that’s what you both want, I highly recommend it.

 

[EiiiEiiiO]

We got married at the courthouse w a couple friends as witnesses, and had a big party that night. It was perfect, for us. I have never gotten the whole big wedding thing; spending so much money on one day is crazy to me. I think it’s what’s important for you and your other half, what makes you guys happy.

 

[Fin]

Yes, eloped to NYC a few years ago. It was wonderful and perfect, no regrets! And it’s legally recognised in the UK, you just need a few extra bits of official paperwork when you’re there but it’s all part of the adventure. Let me know if you have any specific questions.

You’ll know what’s right for you.

We did the same. Best decision ever.

 

[bubbletea123]

So I am reviving this thread with the whole Covid situation.

So I know that most 2020 weddings are being cancelled and this is going to sound really bizarre but the benefit of lockdown is people have stopped asking us when our wedding is going to be.

After posting this thread in January, I started looking into the company, Simply Eloped and the elopements they offer for California. We hadn't booked anything which I am glad about given what is going on right now.

But does it seem bad that as the lockdown for covid goes on, I feel more sure about eloping? My fiance and I were talking about how 2020 weddings are cancelled, and obviously 2021 weddings are booked, so now 2020 weddings are being squeezed into 2021 slots or 2022 slots and we think it would be hard to get a venue we like.

Anyway, just thought I would provide an update.

 

[Kmt2019]

So I am reviving this thread with the whole Covid situation.

So I know that most 2020 weddings are being cancelled and this is going to sound really bizarre but the benefit of lockdown is people have stopped asking us when our wedding is going to be.

After posting this thread in January, I started looking into the company, Simply Eloped and the elopements they offer for California. We hadn't booked anything which I am glad about given what is going on right now.

But does it seem bad that as the lockdown for covid goes on, I feel more sure about eloping? My fiance and I were talking about how 2020 weddings are cancelled, and obviously 2021 weddings are booked, so now 2020 weddings are being squeezed into 2021 slots or 2022 slots and we think it would be hard to get a venue we like.

Anyway, just thought I would provide an update.

My fiancé and I were looking into doing a destination wedding abroad and then after attempting a guest list, and realising just trying to do that and send out ‘save the dates’ was too stressful, we decided against it. Then we thought let’s just having a registry office wedding in UK where it was literally just 2 witnesses and we were going to do it in Feb/ March this year for the grand total of £120 or something! Then have a meal with only immediate family afterwards. It never happened because I was 20 weeks pregnant and was starting to look pretty huge, and also the registry office didn’t have any dates that worked. Also, when we broke it to my other half’s family they were fuming that they would not be able to see us get married. Which annoyed me because it’s not about them. Then I started to look into eloping, and thought this is what I want to do, I still get to do the ‘destination’ wedding; but without the headache of other people! And then can combine the honeymoon too. The California company you mention sounds good. I was also looking at companies in Hawaii we would love to do it on a beach and there were some good packages out there too! So hopefully we will get round to it, but with the pandemic, who knows when it will be, but I’m not in any rush, just nice to know what I really want from a ‘wedding’ and that doesn’t involve anything ‘conventional’ or traditional or with any stress!

 

[Keikochan]

We eloped in Gretna Green Scotland. It was perfect! Best decision we made. It was just me and him, they provide witnesses for you (they ask anyone in the area. Our witnesses were a couple who were due to elope the next day so that was nice). By the sounds of it we are much the same as you an your S.O.
TBH I just really didn't want to have to deal with the BS of others influencing what is supposed to be about the couple and marriage. I ordered my dress online and got it fitted a little bit.

 

[Boutros-Boutros Ghali]

Vegas here. I’d always known that’s what I wanted from the first time I went there years ago and luckily my partner was the same. Just didn’t want the hassle or the expense. I love a good wedding, just not mine. We went the full Vegas tack though, Graceland with Elvis walking me down the aisle. It was great, I wouldn’t change anything. Then partied on the strip all night in our wedding clothes. So much fun and all about us. I’m an only child so I was worried what my Dad would say as there’s just the two of us now but he always said he knew that’s what I’d do and was totally cool about it. We planned to have a party but then never got round to that either and now it seems to late to bother. Totally would recommend

 

[4tuhju]

I got engaged last Sept and we were going to plan a smallish wedding abroad for next year. My thoughts are exactly like yours op, the thought of having a massive wedding walking down the isle being centre of attention is a no for me. Everything going on at the moment has made me really think about what I want. We thought that going away with a few close friends and family would be the least stressful option, but when I've thought about it I actually hate going on group holidays I find them really stressful, so I've gone completely off the idea. Registry office wedding, party afterwards with dear friends and fam suits me perfectly. Asos do wedding dresses I've just learned too, that'll do nicely. I want the marriage not the wedding.
Pls let us know what you end up doing (whatever makes you happy)

 

[Annie101]

Beach Wedding in Mauritius. No planning beforehand, once i arrived in Mauritius i got a wedding planner from hotel and we planned the whole thing in 2 days. i did not want my wedding to be spectator sport.

 

[4tuhju]

Beach Wedding in Mauritius. No planning beforehand, once i arrived in Mauritius i got a wedding planner from hotel and we planned the whole thing in 2 days. i did not want my wedding to be spectator sport.

Love this!