Selfish Mother

[maytoseptember]

These mama brands don’t last cos the founders run out of steam/move on. It’s like hurrah for gin - one trick pony. Toddlers are mental. Parenting young children is exhausting. Then the kids grow up and it’s all irrelevant.

Hurrah For Gin is practically a blast from the past! I She, along with Unmumsy, were probably vying for position of #1 viral social media mum at one point, weren’t they? I think their books came out at around the same time. I had both at one point (cringe) but they went to the charity shop pretty fast. I had a baby and a preschooler then, so the “little kids are arseholes aren’t they? LOL” schtick was something I clung to at the time, because life was HARD.

Unmumsy managed to keep herself relevant by having a third baby (she’s onto her third book now, right? Hurrah For Gin did manage a barrel scraping second book but it must have flopped because the premise was so unfunny). Not to say that she had another child just to keep her fame levels up, but it sure did keep the gravy train chugging along for a few more years. How you convert that very transient, very niche kind of fame going when your kids are all school aged, I don’t know. I guess you just... don’t.

 

[maytoseptember]

Well look at that, Hurrah For Gin actually does have a third book coming out in time for Christmas 2019!

Seems they’ve ditched the parenting angle

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

I think their ‘things’ is done now. There are a million and one memes about motherhood and kids being wicks floating round for free that you can share and laugh about with friends/followers. Also go on Etsy and there are loads of sellers selling Mama jumpers, I have an SM one and an Etsy one and yeah SM is better quality but the Etsy one was nearly 1/3 price. Seeing as Ill probably never wear them again after realising how cringe they are wish I’d gone with Etsy in the first place (or none).

They got in whilst the going was good, hopefully they were sensible with the money. Same with the Instamums...hope they’ve been putting money aside because those private school fees won’t pay themselves and the schools don’t care how many followers you have/had.

 

[Dawnofftobed]

I think their ‘things’ is done now. There are a million and one memes about motherhood and kids being wicks floating round for free that you can share and laugh about with friends/followers. Also go on Etsy and there are loads of sellers selling Mama jumpers, I have an SM one and an Etsy one and yeah SM is better quality but the Etsy one was nearly 1/3 price. Seeing as Ill probably never wear them again after realising how cringe they are wish I’d gone with Etsy in the first place (or none).

They got in whilst the going was good, hopefully they were sensible with the money. Same with the Instamums...hope they’ve been putting money aside because those private school fees won’t pay themselves and the schools don’t care how many followers you have/had.

Maybe the next gen of private schools will be offering #gifted scholarship places to influencers’ children based on how many followers their parents have?

 

[Sweettutu]

Great points here. I also think these products appeal to first time mums who are figuring it all out, maybe feeling a little insecure and under enormous pressure.

But once out of that baby and toddler stage it does get easier for many. I definitely don’t feel like I have to prove myself to anyone except my child

Maybe many of these brands lose their original core base as they/we/me grow out of it

But agree with the comments that there will also be new mums to fill the gaps.

Feeling insecure and under pressure thanks in no small part to the instamamas flogging an unrealistic vision. duck ‘em all. My kids and I all wear Tu and live generally small lives as they’re little. I have no ambition to show off the flashier side to life in order to get validation for “living better” than the next person.

Struggling to explain my issue with the physical stuff brands vs the grifter privacy sellers. I don’t have any problems with someone making tit to sell for cash, that’s capitalism baby. But then it’s all muddied with the instafam peace sign mama ad gifted press discount child privacy violation rubbish and they morph from being simply a business flogging wares to something that can be quite dark.

 

[Noworries36]

40% off EVERYTHING on the Selfish Mother website this weekend....just after a massively promoted sample sale/stock clearance?

 

[Wheels]

Just had a look at the site. Hardly any kids stuff and mostly sold out. So just the mama type stuff which doesn’t do it for me.

 

[Dawnofftobed]

She said she is gearing up to hold ‘workshops and events’ at the Bruton Hq the other day so maybe she’s reinventing Selfish mother and trying to get rid of the unwanted stock to focus more on that?

 

[Tothemoonandback]

She’s selling courses now. They’re 4 for the price of 3, plus she says they are “on sale” so have additional discounts

 

[Sweettutu]

The 2018 accounts are due imminently: will be interesting to see how successful MAMAmerch Actually is.

 

[maytoseptember]

The shop always seems to have a sale on so I doubt business is good, post-revamp.

 

[Tothemoonandback]

Think SM has made up a story about “chipped nails” to fuel engagement

If her story is true (dubious), who even cares if someone messages you to point out that your nails are chipped?! Granted it’s an odd message to send. But these influencers just see it as an opportunity to big themselves up about how they’re too busy being busy and successful to worry about their nails. I dunno just find this whole thing so strange and totally cyclical. I’m very cynical with these blatant attempts for pats on the back from the insta crew.

I always try and imagine these scenarios in everyday life. Can you imagine if you overheard a rude comment at the bank and decided to share it with all your Facebook friends. Eg “I’m just at the bank and someone said my baby was crying a lot. Well I’m sorry but I’m so successful and rich that I need to be at the bank. I made 50k in the last 6 months and I’m busy renovating our house with luxury fittings.”. Isn’t the point of the post sort of lost? It just becomes a humble brag.

 

[Sweettutu]

Is the spa post gifted or not then? For someone who claims to flog lessons in how to social media, she’s pretty rubbish at it.

And LOL at the the own brand gin. This from a woman who was going to have a year off booze for her sanity.

 

[maytoseptember]

I cannot believe the SM brand has branched out to gin (and the rambling, slightly guilty sounding email extolling the virtues of drinking responsibly was hilarious). Just... why? I thought the scented candles were pointless and self indulgent, but gin is next level hubris.

The gin market is saturated! Why would you buy Selfish Mother gin when there’s a dozen brands on every supermarket shelf?

 

[Sweettutu]

Not even on-brand? Could see the hurrah for gin woman doing it in line with the new book. But SM? Just weird. No, not weird. Desperate.

 

[InstaLurk]

IMO, mamamerch is just a glorified version of all the pyramid schemes that popped up everywhere around the same time a few years ago (forever living, nuskin, Herbalife). They centre on flogging stuff to your pals and wider network, which people buy one time to support your ‘mama business’ (empowering women!!!!) but they’re basically tit products, so there’s no repeat custom and the floggers eventually piss of all their friends with repeated pestering to buy, before their ‘business’ fizzles out.

 

[Burda]

Always just found her annoying

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

I’m on the mailing list as I toyed with buying a jumper a few years ago (but didn’t! So no embarrassment for me now) and I’ve never paid much attention. And then for some reason I read the extraordinary drivel last week about booze. What was that? Launching a drink? Why? You sell jumpers. And also just own the decision. Don’t pussyfoot around it like that.

 

[Sweettutu]

“For reasons outlined on my Tattle Thread I am pulling the mama merch clothing. The meeting space/how to be an influencer lessons have both tanked which leaves me with turnkey beauty, complete with cheap crappy labelling and now small batch gin, distilled, not locally, but by a small distillery in East London, a place we should have, frankly, never left. Could be worse I could be MOD. Call me for a copy of the how to-influence-zine, hun. I’ll gift it to you”

 

[maytoseptember]

I’m on the mailing list as I toyed with buying a jumper a few years ago (but didn’t! So no embarrassment for me now) and I’ve never paid much attention. And then for some reason I read the extraordinary drivel last week about booze. What was that? Launching a drink? Why? You sell jumpers. And also just own the decision. Don’t pussyfoot around it like that.

Exactly. If you want to sell alcohol, own your decision! Don’t write a rambly hand-wringing email because you’re worried that people are going to criticise you for capitalising on the “gin o’clock!” mummy stereotype.