I gained about 10kgs due to an illness 10 years ago and managed to get back in shape within the 1.5 years I was diagnosed. I know it is not the same and I was probably younger than you ( hence higher metabolic rate) but a few of the things I learned along the way would help anybody.
*Going step by step. I remember stopping ordering takeout for the first month, started cutting the carbs the next 5 weeks (our cuisine is heavy on pastries,red meat, pasta etc so that was hard). I tried to learn to control my appetite that way
*Anger eating was a challenge, realizing why was even more of a challenge. I was furious to find out basically my body will have an expiration date if I am not more careful and food was always a comfort tool for me. I had to let that go, practicing meditation helped a lot. You may have emotional triggers pushing you to over eat. Maybe look for those.
*Find a form of movement that you enjoy. I am ex athlete so that part came easy, I just had to shift to low impact ones. That might not be the case for you and that's ok. Maybe you can think about what you enjoy as a child? Trampoline jumping 15 min a day is great for easing pressure on knees while having the benefits of running, you can get one and start with a C25K running plan on that. I am doing that since lockdowns started in my country and it's fun. Swimming if you are in a warm climate. Cycling is great, it works both your core and legs if you do it right. The point is training large muscle groups because they'll consume more energy (eg. calories). But beware you cant train your way through all the weight. You have to watch what you eat.
*Seeing movement as a celebration of your capabilities instead of punishment for over eating.
*Having an accountability buddy, or at least a distant community. Maybe even you can pair up with people from here within similar time zones and you can report to each other on one nourishing good quality meal a day?
* Keeping the promise that you give to yourself. There would be back slides of course but remember about your long term intentions. Building trust with yourself works just like it works in any other relationship. You would look at actions, not words, if they are consistent it builds trust. If you say I'll start working on myself this week and keep eating chocolate for dinner for a week straight afterwards, you'll lose self confidence and start thinking I can't do it anyways.
* Accepting your goals might be not achievable. You might want to have 6 packs by the next 9 months but are you able to eat that much protein, are you genetically built that way, are you ready to make the sacrifice in time, money, delicious food to get that done? Figuring that out will be helpful in the long run imho.
I hope it is not too vague and it'll be helpful even if its just a pinch. I know being a mother makes it a challenge to take time for yourself but you are important. If you are not taking care of yourself mentally and physically, it would make it even harder
to care for your family. Also I am hoping I am not being presumptuous by thinking you want to lose weight, talking about body size etc etc. If you are not, feel free to ignore. Forgive me for making assumptions if I make you feel bad. I wrote this because I thought we have some things in common. I was weirded out by my own body because it was mostly pleasant
to walk in it all those years, I thought it was punishing me for no reason. I thought having a baby might be similar somewhat. You've built a person from scratch inside of you, there is nothing like it, but now you have mixed feelings about the physical aftermath of that process. Anyw8 I am rambling
Good luck