Second time

Redblueyellow8

VIP Member
Does it ever work a second time around
So last year I was in the most amazing relationship, something very serious happened and it changed everything . My partner (ex now) his child's mum died suddenly. Then from there everything changed. When it happened I didnt want to be suffocating him so I told him if he needed me let me know etc I would message him daily to see how he was and if he needed anything , with him having to get settled and adjusted to having his son back full time I didnt want to keep asking to go see him etc so I went at his pace ... yet he never seemed to want me to help with anything or speak about anything and I didnt want to upset him by asking questions etc. We then started drifting apart, I found it hard that he had lost her but I couldnt really understand why I was grieving for this .. then October time he decided it was over and he even said because I wasnt there enough for him ... we never spoke again until Christmas we sent each other a Christmas message then we got speaking again and we speak every day like old times hes the first person I message and the last person I message going to be . And news or anything happens hes the first person I speak to . I dont know whether it's just the fact I like having company again or because yes I still have all the feelings I didnt want it to be over. I thought it was forever. I'm scared to ask if he wants to try again I'm scared I do it and he says no and that's it over again.
Also at this period of time Aug-Oct I was going through a lot of family issues and I was really struggling with life . He had enough to deal with so I couldnt put even more on to him so my head wasnt there
With that break? I got myself to a better place and feel a lot more mentally stronger . I love this man to absolve pieces I dont want a life without him.
 

Titntat

Chatty Member
Me and my partner had a house and a baby. We had been together from a young age. I think I had PND and didnt deal with it at all. Just took everything out on him. But he was absolutely useless around the house. Left me to do EVERYTHING. We was both working full time.
We was apart for maybe two years. I lost my baby weight, got my head sorted, he had his own house so I think he realised how much I did.
We started sleeping together and I got pregnant (unplanned). So we decided to get back together.
Honestly it was the best thing that could have happend. We both bounce off each other again. Make time for each other. Look after each other. We work as a team (he does his fair share now, with out being asked).
Weve been back together for bearly 2 years now. I think we needed the break. It was a massive wake up call. That the grass isn't always greener. You just need to water your own grass!

I'd tell him how you feel. What have you got to lose?
Good luck, keep us posted.
 

katiex

Member
Does it ever work a second time around
So last year I was in the most amazing relationship, something very serious happened and it changed everything . My partner (ex now) his child's mum died suddenly. Then from there everything changed. When it happened I didnt want to be suffocating him so I told him if he needed me let me know etc I would message him daily to see how he was and if he needed anything , with him having to get settled and adjusted to having his son back full time I didnt want to keep asking to go see him etc so I went at his pace ... yet he never seemed to want me to help with anything or speak about anything and I didnt want to upset him by asking questions etc. We then started drifting apart, I found it hard that he had lost her but I couldnt really understand why I was grieving for this .. then October time he decided it was over and he even said because I wasnt there enough for him ... we never spoke again until Christmas we sent each other a Christmas message then we got speaking again and we speak every day like old times hes the first person I message and the last person I message going to be . And news or anything happens hes the first person I speak to . I dont know whether it's just the fact I like having company again or because yes I still have all the feelings I didnt want it to be over. I thought it was forever. I'm scared to ask if he wants to try again I'm scared I do it and he says no and that's it over again.
Also at this period of time Aug-Oct I was going through a lot of family issues and I was really struggling with life . He had enough to deal with so I couldnt put even more on to him so my head wasnt there
With that break? I got myself to a better place and feel a lot more mentally stronger . I love this man to absolve pieces I dont want a life without him.
My answer to that is yes.
I think there’s like a few kinds of breakups. Breakups like yours, ones where someone’s done something nasty and ones where you’ve just drifted.
It never works again if someone has cheated, the trust would never be there.
But in situations like yours I’m not saying it will be perfect but it’s not like you’re getting back with someone who has wronged you. It is 100% worth giving it a go

My answer to that is yes.
I think there’s like a few kinds of breakups. Breakups like yours, ones where someone’s done something nasty and ones where you’ve just drifted.
It never works again if someone has cheated, the trust would never be there.
But in situations like yours I’m not saying it will be perfect but it’s not like you’re getting back with someone who has wronged you. It is 100% worth giving it a go
Also would like to add I am so sorry about everything that happened it must have been incredibly difficult xx
 

Redblueyellow8

VIP Member
Me and my partner had a house and a baby. We had been together from a young age. I think I had PND and didnt deal with it at all. Just took everything out on him. But he was absolutely useless around the house. Left me to do EVERYTHING. We was both working full time.
We was apart for maybe two years. I lost my baby weight, got my head sorted, he had his own house so I think he realised how much I did.
We started sleeping together and I got pregnant (unplanned). So we decided to get back together.
Honestly it was the best thing that could have happend. We both bounce off each other again. Make time for each other. Look after each other. We work as a team (he does his fair share now, with out being asked).
Weve been back together for bearly 2 years now. I think we needed the break. It was a massive wake up call. That the grass isn't always greener. You just need to water your own grass!

I'd tell him how you feel. What have you got to lose?
Good luck, keep us posted.
My answer to that is yes.
I think there’s like a few kinds of breakups. Breakups like yours, ones where someone’s done something nasty and ones where you’ve just drifted.
It never works again if someone has cheated, the trust would never be there.
But in situations like yours I’m not saying it will be perfect but it’s not like you’re getting back with someone who has wronged you. It is 100% worth giving it a go


Also would like to add I am so sorry about everything that happened it must have been incredibly difficult xx

Thank you both for your replies. I guess I'm scared to ask incase I lose him again I hated those months when we didnt speak I was so lost without him. Where now I at least have him in my life to speak to .
There was no cheating we both just had so much going on in each others lives. Maybe we didnt speak enough , open up enough about the serious side of our lives. Xx
 

Titntat

Chatty Member
Thank you both for your replies. I guess I'm scared to ask incase I lose him again I hated those months when we didnt speak I was so lost without him. Where now I at least have him in my life to speak to .
There was no cheating we both just had so much going on in each others lives. Maybe we didnt speak enough , open up enough about the serious side of our lives. Xx
There must be a reason your still in contact. That was what happend with us really. Lack of communication and emotions x
 

theghosttown

Chatty Member
Thank you I'm broken .. again .. I know its life but being lead on thinking we were sorting out the issues we had previously.
Best think hes gone for my sisters best friend .
Just feel like an idiot
You are definitely not an idiot, don’t beat yourself up about it. At all. The thing is now it sounds like you previously never had any closure and now you do you can absolutely work towards moving on. You sound like a very kind, selfless person. I have no doubt you will find someone who is worthy of you. No matter the personal issues this guy has had he doesn’t sound deserving x
 
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Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
I’m so sorry to hear this but I think it shows you deserve better. For him to lead you on and give you mixed signals shows what sort of a person he is! You are better off without and finding someone who will treat you better! Good luck xxx
 

Redblueyellow8

VIP Member
Thank you , in his telling me he has started seeing someone else he told me that his new girlfriend knows that we speak every day and that he still loves me and he Hope's I dont hate him to me this is just him still trying to keep doors open incase this girlfriend doesnt work out. But I have now told him I'm happy for him and I hope it works out and he should now make new memories. I have now blocked him it's not right continuing to speak every day when he is in a relationship. Yup it will hurt but that's it that chapter of my book has finally come to a end. Thank you all for your advice ,I really thought it would have worked out I didnt think it would have been this.
 

toffeejelly

Active member
I would honestly say you now need to move on and forget him. He isn’t worth you waiting around for. You will find someone who treats you amazingly, and you’ll wonder why you ever wasted time on him.

I’m so glad you’ve blocked him and can now move on :)
 
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