Second hand buying / sustainability chat

[nurseren]

I just bought my son a second hand kindle fire for Christmas. I feel a bit guilty as it’s not brand new, but FB marketplace is flooded with them so clearly kids get bored of them easily. It cost me £30 with the charger and the box.

 

[mumz]

I am 1 of 5 kids born i. The 60’s. For my 14th birthday my skint parents bought me a second hand sewing machine, I kicked off like a teen would and cried because it wasn’t new. I learned to sew on that machine and a hobby I loved. It died on me last year, over 40 years later. The upgrade I bought myself was preloved too. Now I am all grown up I buy used as much as possible now and pass on or sell all our bits we don’t need anymore. I am glad to say my kids and grandkids don’t act as entitled as I did in my younger days.

 

[rainbowlemon]

My old smart phone, gave up the ghost earlier this year. Instead of buying a new one, I managed to get a second hand one at Cex. So far, it has been working really well.

Not related to anything but I was in Brighton with my little sister. The store there had named their wifi unprotectedCex.

 

[Venuslurker]

I buy so much 2nd hand, our town is full of charity shops so it started out as being the only shops available if you didn't want to go online, and now I've become so used to those prices I really baulk at paying £20 for a t shirt.
I give loads of stuff back to the shops, I can't really be bothered to sell it, it's more hassle than it's worth more often than not.
I know someone on the other thread said that people should leave charity shop stuff for those who are genuinely skint but I just feel like there is so much STUFF in the world now, surely there is enough second hand to go round.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

No kid plays with Grimma rainbows. They are for parents to buy to think they are better than everyone else. Fact.

I love you / this.

Re paw patrol - I guess it’s a double edged sword, it’s good it retains its value as if you want to resell it, it’s an option, but navigating reselling is such hell that most people would sooner regift it so don’t benefit from that. I’m dreading when my LO wants those licensed plastic toys

When we had our little one I bought has much second hand as I could - even loads of his cloth nappies were eBay finds. We're not planning to have another child so I've tried to pass most of it on to other new parents, but they're not interested and want to buy everything new! I also get some funny comments for having put him in cloth nappies but that's a whole other discussion

Does anyone have good tips for sustainable Christmas gifting (especially when you're broke due to childcare costs!)? I'm only planning to buy gifts for immediate family and will mostly get them bar soaps, refillable bottles of body lotion etc. My sisters are quite a bit younger (early 20s) and into their vintage fashion so I'm going to scour Depop for a couple of cool bits for them.

But already the Christmas pressure is so intense! We're on an economy drive atm but I'm being asked what Christmas 'events' we're going to take our son to/what expensive presents we're going to get him. They all cost a fortune! He's only two and is used to most of his toys/clothes being second hand so I have no worries that he'll be totally unfussed. But the judgement from the m/c #makingmemories mums is something else.

I was raised Jewish but the last few years my family have got really into Christmas so this is still bewildering to me!

I also love you and your #makingmemories huns. Agree COMPLETELY about the pressure to do events, I’m picking and choosing what we want to do and what we as a family enjoy. I’m going to sound vile but in the same way I wouldn’t let these people pressure me into going on holiday to Dubai, I’m not driving all the way to Kent to sit on a de commissioned southeastern train rattling down 500 feet of railway and pretending I can’t see the old velour chairs were all sat on. For £40 a pop? It’s insanity.

I’m taking LO Santa does their stocking which will be practical / educational bits and mummy and daddy buy your big presents so im hoping we’ll dodge that Santa obsession bullet. I don’t want to pay for a grotto and get a gift that we don’t need / want, I wish people would see these practices for how antiquated they are.

Re telling other mums - again im not being vile I think you just need to find your people who get it. I cba to be patronised with incorrect assumptions because I buy my LO second hand clothes and love eBay. There’s so much MC prestige and delusion wrapped up in parenting that one second hand mum can’t tackle it all alone x

 

[nurseren]

Wanted to add that I’ve bought him a bunch of paw patrol toys too from FB marketplace. I’m shocked that a plastic toy that does nothing is a) so expensive in the first place and b) holds their value?

A car with pup is around £17, depending on pup. He will want all of the pups; he has 3 already and keeps asking for the others, and that will be nearly £70ish. For a fad that he won’t be into in a few months. I managed to pick up a few for £5, so I’ve cleaned them and I’ll make them look fancy for Christmas.

I feel awful for this but he was into Elmo one year and I bought him a tickle me Elmo… £40 down the drain!

Have also noticed that there tend to be lots of the same thing in the secondary market, my LO is much younger but I see SO much VGUC Grimms being resold - surely this just means no child is actually playing with the stuff?!

On guilt - second hand gifting feels like it’s less spoken about than other issues? It definitely has more of a stigma than day to day purchases but it’s so needless. The brainwashing we’ve all gone through to want to consume has a lot to answer for!

No kid plays with Grimma rainbows. They are for parents to buy to think they are better than everyone else. Fact.

I’m obsessed with wooden toys, and this kindle fire is the first electronic toy (bar tickle me Elmo!) that my son will have. I borrow a grimms rainbow from a toy library and he didn’t get it at all.

 

[prozacprincess]

My home is a mixture of old and new. As it was built quite recently I didn’t want to go with the usual trend for putting ultra modern furniture in newly built properties.

I’ve got a fairly eclectic style so while our sofas are new (except my 25 year old Chesterfield in the dining room) and quite modern in style, the rest of the furniture is a mix from auctions as well as a few bits from the likes of Barker and Stonehouse, along with pieces we’ve brought home from our travels, like our Chinese cabinet.

I love browsing auction catalogues and I’ve picked up some fantastic bits and pieces over the years.

I donate my clothes to charity when I’ve grown tired of them but I don’t personally wear second hand clothing … it’s a hang up I have from growing up poor.

We salvage a fair few bits from productions we work on too. The waste in the film industry is absolutely shocking. I currently have about half the set from one of the cancelled Game of Thrones prequel pilot episodes in my garden

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Following a discussion in the frugality’s thread re: sustainable consumption / using charity shops / giving to charity shops / buying second hand, a place to continue the convo!

 

[Moonflower]

I just feel like there is so much STUFF in the world now, surely there is enough second hand to go round.

I always feel like this when I go to Homesense. I love it for a nose and I know all shops are full of STUFF but I honestly go in and think who needs ANY of this stuff? I'm not talking about plates or duvets or actual usefull daily household items. Just statues and bookends shaped like globes and all the stuff that you see in there every single time.

People have a really weird attitude to second hand clothes sometimes. I have a really nice down coat that cost me £10 from ebay and I get a lot of compliments about it, anytime I say its from ebay people are all ooh I don't have time for ebay, its too much of a faff etc.

 

[dancingqueen5678]

I always feel like this when I go to Homesense. I love it for a nose and I know all shops are full of STUFF but I honestly go in and think who needs ANY of this stuff? I'm not talking about plates or duvets or actual usefull daily household items. Just statues and bookends shaped like globes and all the stuff that you see in there every single time.

People have a really weird attitude to second hand clothes sometimes. I have a really nice down coat that cost me £10 from ebay and I get a lot of compliments about it, anytime I say its from ebay people are all ooh I don't have time for ebay, its too much of a faff etc.

I’ve been buying stuff on eBay for years, before being sustainable was talked about really and my old friends always turned their nose up and scoffed, said it was disgusting that I would wear clothes that had come from someone else’s house. 2 of them now by off depop and all those sites. One of them has bought her baby’s clothes off there. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad but a part of me wanted to say to them sarcastically “yes im sorry dancing Queen for being rude to you about your second hand clothes!”
Also they would often compliment clothes that I’d got on there and I’d be like, thanks I paid 1.99 for it including postage. It’s great for me as I mostly wear leggings and dresses so I can buy really cheap casual dresses on there for next to nothing

 

[Dustye]

When we had our little one I bought has much second hand as I could - even loads of his cloth nappies were eBay finds. We're not planning to have another child so I've tried to pass most of it on to other new parents, but they're not interested and want to buy everything new! I also get some funny comments for having put him in cloth nappies but that's a whole other discussion

Does anyone have good tips for sustainable Christmas gifting (especially when you're broke due to childcare costs!)? I'm only planning to buy gifts for immediate family and will mostly get them bar soaps, refillable bottles of body lotion etc. My sisters are quite a bit younger (early 20s) and into their vintage fashion so I'm going to scour Depop for a couple of cool bits for them.

But already the Christmas pressure is so intense! We're on an economy drive atm but I'm being asked what Christmas 'events' we're going to take our son to/what expensive presents we're going to get him. They all cost a fortune! He's only two and is used to most of his toys/clothes being second hand so I have no worries that he'll be totally unfussed. But the judgement from the m/c #makingmemories mums is something else.

I was raised Jewish but the last few years my family have got really into Christmas so this is still bewildering to me!

 

[WeepingCassandra]

I really want to charity shop more but the ones here are so expensive and not great at sorting out the crap - Primark tops from two seasons ago sold for £6 when they’d be £8 brand new; furniture is at least £35 for something you could get similar for in ikea for under £25 and the kids toys are grubby and in bad condition. I’ve got some good books and games/puzzles from there which are reasonable but it’s certainly not a realistic way for me to be sustainable.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

I’m considering sourcing my wedding dress “preloved”
From one of those re-sell boutiques.

my mum was horrified when I said I would like a 2nd hand dress for eco reasons. I think she thinks I’m just being frugal.

 

[Ekathrina]

I use shampoo bars too - I started by trying the more well known brands like Faith in Nature and then I found a company that sold big boxes of bar ends and offcuts so I bought a huge box from them - I think it’ll be enough for about the next ten years!
That company aren’t trading anymore, but you can still buy offcuts from some of the sellers on Etsy.

 

[Moonflower]

Thanks for starting the thread!

My entire house is second hand. I live in a really, old house and modern furniture just looks ridiculous. My best buy is a cabinet for £1.

I also try to buy second hand where I can for clothes. I lost a lot of weight in lockdown when the shops were shut so couldn't buy new clothes. I sold all the too big ones and bought smaller ones which saved a packet. I try not to buy anything new anymore, if I see something in the shops now that I like I try and find something similar on eBay. I was a big charity shop fan but locally their prices have gone through the roof recently so I'm avoiding them for now.

Not quite ready for an electric car but I am going to switch to a hybrid next time I change my car.

 

[Gizmo90]

I’m considering sourcing my wedding dress “preloved”
From one of those re-sell boutiques.

my mum was horrified when I said I would like a 2nd hand dress for eco reasons. I think she thinks I’m just being frugal.

My friend got her wedding dress second hand for £50! It was a beautiful dress and as it was so cheap she was happy to spend a bit on getting alterations done to make it perfect for her!

 

[Noseyoldcow]

Love eBay for clothes! Or Vinted

Me too! Just discovered Vinted and I’ve brought some lovely things for myself and my kids, also started selling some bits on their now.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I’m considering sourcing my wedding dress “preloved”
From one of those re-sell boutiques.

my mum was horrified when I said I would like a 2nd hand dress for eco reasons. I think she thinks I’m just being frugal.

I think this is so cool, it’s also going to give you SO much more choice then if you bought new! You could find something really unique. I’d be tempted to find your one then take it to your mum as proof of concept, cos she may think you’re going to only be able to find princess di inspired numbers lol

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I love it for a nose and I know all shops are full of STUFF but I honestly go in and think who needs ANY of this stuff?

I felt like this when I was searching for a specific Columbia fleece (lol) and ended up on ASOS, it’s been years and years since I bought from there (used to buy a lot, and frequently!) and I thought omg the volume of just everything is obscene.

 

[nurseren]

I really want to charity shop more but the ones here are so expensive and not great at sorting out the crap - Primark tops from two seasons ago sold for £6 when they’d be £8 brand new; furniture is at least £35 for something you could get similar for in ikea for under £25 and the kids toys are grubby and in bad condition. I’ve got some good books and games/puzzles from there which are reasonable but it’s certainly not a realistic way for me to be sustainable.

Primark is always priced high currently, and no idea why?

I was raised Jewish but the last few years my family have got really into Christmas so this is still bewildering to me!

I’m Jewish too! We only buy for our son and not each other.

I love you / this.

Re paw patrol - I guess it’s a double edged sword, it’s good it retains its value as if you want to resell it, it’s an option, but navigating reselling is such hell that most people would sooner regift it so don’t benefit from that. I’m dreading when my LO wants those licensed plastic toys

We limit what our son is in too; we kept him away from paw patrol as long as we could. He only started watching screens during lockdown! I also limit what toys he has too otherwise the house is just a mess with them. He loves monsters trucks and paw patrol, so that’s all we are having at the moment.

I can’t find the post/poster now hit when my son was born and during my pregnancy I did a splurge and save list. On the splurge list was brand new items such as a buggy, car seat, crib and a steriliser. Absolutely everything else was second hand.