Scousebird blogs #13 90s hair, shops a disgrace, gets her kid to smash herself in the face

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

Nicky Manhead is so tall her pronouns are fe/fi/fo/fum, pass it on.

 

[Houseofscouse]

Early thread title suggestion: Tickling the Rim with her Hairy chinny chin chin

 

[Itscharlibaby]

DABs I hardly ever post on this thread and am an ultimate lurking DAB. I’m from the West Midlands so no where near old Tory tuna flaps but I followed her for ages and this thread just has me in tears. I would so love to come up to Liverpool for a night out with you all when rona fucks out as you are genuinely some of the funniest people ever.
Don’t really know why I’m posting this but I’m going through a shitty breakup and this thread is just *chefs kiss* x

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

Girls, if that small selection of bottles qualifies as an "offy", then I've got a supermarket in my kitchen, a salon in my bathroom, and the newest rival to Kwikfit in my garage. Get yourselves down to Shirls Supermarket and grab a bargain in these unprecedented times.

 

[Sk8rBoi]

That look around at the shop video, I just don’t get it at all, what the shops actually meant to be. One section chocolate then kids books, candles, alcohol, clothing, cunt mugs, tea coffee hot chocolate, house cleaning/washing products, pictures for the wall. Then it clicked, she’s running what can only be described as a very overpriced home and bargain just with nauseating decor.

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

DAB JUSTICE

 

[Beepbeepfiat500]

haha I was going to say not all women are cock enthusiasts

Even as a heterosexual woman I can’t say I’ve ever been particularly enthusiastic enough about cocks to warrant merchandise.....who can be when they look like upside down frozen chicken

 

[Tealicious2020]

Right. ‘Emergency hangover supply’. On a toblerone. A fucking toblerone!! Who wakes up dying a death after one too many pornstars and decides the need a TOBLERONE as a curer?! I can’t cope with her anymore

 

[SpiceWeasel]

Oh my god imagine losing your keys somewhere, like the gym for example cos I’ve put them down on some equipment and forgotten about them, or I’ve even left them on a supermarket till before now and having to go and ask for them at reception/customer service

‘okay what do they look like’

‘erm they’ve got a key ring on them saying cock enthusiast’

You would never be able to return to the place again

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

Language like that and she's trying to woo reputable brands like Joanie Clothing piss off.

Girls, I hope you know I screenshot the worst of her behaviour and send it to my agent to laugh at, who in turn posts it in all the PR whatsapp groups

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

She’s a self centred cunt and will never change

She epitomises everything that is wrong with society, I actually find it quite upsetting. I'm very fortunate in that I haven't lost anyone to covid, but I've several friends who have lost loved ones, it's heartbreaking. I'm not a tory, but I do own some businesses of similar size to hers and can assure you all that the financial support provided is more than adequate to keep everyone closed and safe at home. I don't understand why you'd risk yourself and your loved ones to try and sell a crass mug or pen.

 

[MrsPurchase]

Jeff by the end of the week......gasping, absolutely gasping

She’s posted a story about how she hasn’t been able to catch her breath since she had covid and now has an inhaler. Hiya Jeff now can you explain how you’ve been able to do the PT work if your lungs are so knackered? Tattle would love to know!

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Omg I vote rectal banqueting for the next thread title @StormSolitaire if you are all in agreement DABs like this post and I’ll bank it for next title fucking crying off that

I was gonna suggest something like heaviest scrans more like Poundland only fans but rectal banqueting.. I’m in tears

 

[Sk8rBoi]

She's proper grim isn't she? She's like one of those lads in school who used to go on about sex all the time cos they blatantly don't get any 'I've shagged someone by me Nans'

So what we’re saying is she’s basically Jay from the Inbetweeners

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Omg she’s fucking deleted it
I’ve still emailed Maricourt though

HI JEFF WHERES CORA?

I hope they’ve fucked her off. I’m congratulating myself here for doing the lords work DABs

 

[justthoughtidcomeon]

I got mine chocolate just to stop them pestering me for mine but their dad gets them a card which I think is lovely. For me Valentine’s Day is about love not necessarily just about loving your other half. I’ve seen some parents on socials practically turning it into a second Xmas and I’m sorry but that’s 1000% for the gram which is sad. The couples who I know are solid were very quiet yesterday and the couple who I know for fact are hanging by a thread and have no real love for each other were the ones with the balloon displays

 

[Sk8rBoi]

Me right now

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

I am furious at this

what kind of fucking school wants a selfish neglectful mother who takes drugs and goes on and on about sucking dick to come and give advice to 15 year olds???? Legit I am writing to the head at maricourt
And that sweat caffy Hank liking it

 

[trollinhell]

Stick a fork in me ladies, I’m done. So Jeff the absolute fucking fruit machine, stinky sanny pad, arserimming, crusty bed sheet MESS thinks she legally owns hating the tories?

Fuck me mate, I’ll have to phone me 80 year old nan and tell her to stop bashing boris on the day, don’t want Jeff and NMH turning up putting her in to an early grave.

 

[TheGhostofShirleyBallas]

Morning girls, just looking up office rentals, seeking the perfect place for DABHQ. Keeping Jeff from ruining lives is serious business, I'll put together a rota to monitor the screens.