Sarah Everard

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I hate the #notallmen quote. It's not brag worthy that you wouldn't murder, kidnap, assault or grape a woman.
Also it's not just those things. It's the cat calling, brushing up against women instead of walking around, leering, making comments in regards to our bodies, turning aggressive when we say no.
Agreed - I think any man that would say #notallmen is definitely one of the men we're all talking about.

I saw an article that actually was directed at men (I think that might be the first time I've ever seen anything like this) and what to do to not appear threatening to women - crossing the road, not running behind etc.

I wish there was more targeted things like this - hopefully there will be - I think this has angered a lot of people quite rightfully.

It’s a shame that a minority of men paint others in such a way. It’s such a heartbreaking thing to happen and I can’t fathom why anyone would willingly kill another person. The fact they said it would take a while to identify the remains chilled me cold.

There are notorious women out there too as well (anyone remember Sarah George who sexually abused toddlers at a nursery a while back?).

I’m not subscribing to the #NotAllMen balls but these depraved oxygen thieves really make my blood boil. There’s a special place in hell for people like that….
Is it a minority of men though? It's not just about the big stuff, it's the other things too 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
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My husband is convinced this is a huge story.
He's thinking possible serial killer/serial rapist etc

Maybe he's been suspected before now and they've been waiting for him to make a mistake?
Maybe he went too far this time and the wife broke and confessed

Poor poor woman. May she rest in peace 💔
I think that could be the case, I don't think Sarah was his only victim. What a monster🤯
 
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My boyfriend applied for the police recently as he has a friend who's in the force, he's decided not to go any further with it as his friend has warned him off due to an increase in abuse against officers because of covid and the higher up management being a bit of a mess. And I can say I'm glad he's not going any further and the friend is also considering leaving. I'll put the process under a spoiler

The process to get into the force is - fill out an application, provide details of parents and partners so a background check can be done on them, a DBS check, video assessment to assess how you'd handle certain situations and then a face to face interview which my boyfriend declined. Once accepted there is a 12 months probation period, after which you can pick which division you'd like to go to. Firearms and dogs are the most popular. After the 12 months you can also do advanced driving, during probation you're never the driver. Taser training is after 12 months too.

There are a lot of background checks and character checks at each stage from what his friend has told us, which makes it scarier someone in a position of trust could do something like this. From what he's told us firearms are the hardest to get into and they only pick the best officers for the training, again making this even scarier
I thought there was long training period away from home before you are let loose on the general public as revealed to pretty devastating effect during The Secret Policeman?
 
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I thought there was long training period away from home before you are let loose on the general public as revealed to pretty devastating effect during The Secret Policeman?
Oh yeah, you're right, I forgot to mention as it was part of the probation period but his friend attended a 3 month training program which included going out in public and was close enough to home that he could drive there everyday
 
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My husband is convinced this is a huge story.
He's thinking possible serial killer/serial rapist etc

Maybe he's been suspected before now and they've been waiting for him to make a mistake?
Maybe he went too far this time and the wife broke and confessed

Poor poor woman. May she rest in peace 💔
I think the same. If he has done it then it’ll be highly unlikely this is his first offence. The thing with serial killers/rapists is that they get more brazen with each attack, they get away with it and continue to push the boundaries until they slip up and get caught.
 
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I’m so sick of hearing “not all men” and “women can do terrible things too!”. We know this, but the statistics speak for themselves, women are murdered by men disproportionately more than men are murdered by women. Both are awful of course, that goes without saying. But for once can we just focus on addressing male violence rather than trying to ignore it whilst pretending women are just as bad.
 
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My boyfriend applied for the police recently as he has a friend who's in the force, he's decided not to go any further with it as his friend has warned him off due to an increase in abuse against officers because of covid and the higher up management being a bit of a mess. And I can say I'm glad he's not going any further and the friend is also considering leaving. I'll put the process under a spoiler

The process to get into the force is - fill out an application, provide details of parents and partners so a background check can be done on them, a DBS check, video assessment to assess how you'd handle certain situations and then a face to face interview which my boyfriend declined. Once accepted there is a 12 months probation period, after which you can pick which division you'd like to go to. Firearms and dogs are the most popular. After the 12 months you can also do advanced driving, during probation you're never the driver. Taser training is after 12 months too.

There are a lot of background checks and character checks at each stage from what his friend has told us, which makes it scarier someone in a position of trust could do something like this. From what he's told us firearms are the hardest to get into and they only pick the best officers for the training, again making this even scarier
No matter what checks are in place, people like this still get through because often there's nothing there in their background.
A friend I was at Uni with her Dad was very high up in the Police, like an area head, and one of his friends who was also a high ranking policeman grape her and she was a minor.

I’m so sick of hearing “not all men” and “women can do terrible things too!”. We know this, but the statistics speak for themselves, women are murdered by men disproportionately more than men are murdered by women. Both are awful of course, that goes without saying.
Yes but its 99.9% men that committ crimes like this. Not women, you might get the odd one every few years.
 
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My boyfriend applied for the police recently as he has a friend who's in the force, he's decided not to go any further with it as his friend has warned him off due to an increase in abuse against officers because of covid and the higher up management being a bit of a mess. And I can say I'm glad he's not going any further and the friend is also considering leaving. I'll put the process under a spoiler

The process to get into the force is - fill out an application, provide details of parents and partners so a background check can be done on them, a DBS check, video assessment to assess how you'd handle certain situations and then a face to face interview which my boyfriend declined. Once accepted there is a 12 months probation period, after which you can pick which division you'd like to go to. Firearms and dogs are the most popular. After the 12 months you can also do advanced driving, during probation you're never the driver. Taser training is after 12 months too.

There are a lot of background checks and character checks at each stage from what his friend has told us, which makes it scarier someone in a position of trust could do something like this. From what he's told us firearms are the hardest to get into and they only pick the best officers for the training, again making this even scarier
It is really scary that he passed through all the checks for his job. However, I do wonder if a lot of these checks are carried out to their full effect - or if sometimes they are merely box ticking exercises. I am just speculating now, of course. I find it astounding that this guy somehow slipped through the cracks.
 
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I’m so sick of hearing “not all men” and “women can do terrible things too!”. We know this, but the statistics speak for themselves, women are murdered by men disproportionately more than men are murdered by women. Both are awful of course, that goes without saying, but for once can we just focus on addressing male violence rather than trying to ignore it and pretend women are just as bad.
I didn’t realise until I became an adult just how much some men hate women and feel entitled to us. I’m incredibly lucky that I have an amazing Dad, had an equally amazing Grandad and Uncles who treated women with respect. Naive fool that I am though all men were like that. Sadly not!
 
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Oh yeah, you're right, I forgot to mention as it was part of the probation period but his friend attended a 3 month training program which included going out in public and was close enough to home that he could drive there everyday
Thanks. I just wanted to clarify that as, at no point during your post except after the twelve month probation period, did you mention any kind of training at all. Most people who start with any employer have a probationary period - but they're actually still doing the job they signed up for.

Given the suspicion surrounding the police at the moment, I felt it only right to point out there is actually some lengthy training involved, when you join the police, rather than just a few background checks and an interview then you're out on the streets with the public which is kind of, albeit unwittingly, how your post made it sound.
 
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I have to say this case has really really upset me. I am a similar age / build to Sarah and I used to live down one of the roads she walked through. It is just terrifying thinking how unlucky she has been and how quickly life can change. I feel just so distraught and angry for her family - what kind of world do we live in where our own police are doing this? As for the not all men crap on Twitter - no words.
 
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I’m so sick of hearing “not all men” and “women can do terrible things too!”. We know this, but the statistics speak for themselves, women are murdered by men disproportionately more than men are murdered by women. Both are awful of course, that goes without saying. But for once can we just focus on addressing male violence rather than trying to ignore it whilst pretending women are just as bad.
Saw a statistic earlier that said 97% of women have been sexually assaulted. I’m assuming that catcalling etc falls into that, but that is a terrifying statistic.
How people are still acting like she should have done more to protect herself is baffling to me. Women are obviously not the problem here.
 
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I’m so sick of hearing “not all men” and “women can do terrible things too!”. We know this, but the statistics speak for themselves, women are murdered by men disproportionately more than men are murdered by women. Both are awful of course, that goes without saying. But for once can we just focus on addressing male violence rather than trying to ignore it whilst pretending women are just as bad.
100% and like I said further up, we're not just talking about the serious tit like murder etc. It's all the "little" stuff too. I would hazard a guess that a majority of men have made a woman feel uncomfortable at some point in their lives.
 
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Ive been watching the tv programme on BBC 2 about forensics and it gives you an insight to the investigative process. To be able to charge him means overwhelming forensic evidence or a confession. Either way its an horrific outcome.
 
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It is really scary that he passed through all the checks for his job. However, I do wonder if a lot of these checks are carried out to their full effect - or if sometimes they are merely box ticking exercises. I am just speculating now, of course. I find it astounding that this guy somehow slipped through the cracks.
If the interviews and checks are designed and carried out by men would the red flags show? Edit - I know there’s more to this but we have to remember for years our whole society has been built by men and for men.
As someone else said, they do not indicate future behaviour either, someone can change overnight and if they really wanted could “act” or behave in a certain way to pass the tests?
 
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I don't know what this not all men thing is about, however nobody is saying its all men, but they ARE doing this to women and we don't know which men they are?!
 
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All she wanted to do was go home.

I can't fathom this. This could have been any of us. I barely drink when I go out as I would rather drive and be safe. As soon as I get in the car, I always look in the back seat (scares me, it was from a film). I then lock the doors.
 
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Thanks. I just wanted to clarify that as, at no point during your post except after the twelve month probation period, did you mention any kind of training at all. Most people who start with any employer have a probationary period - but they're actually still doing the job they signed up for.

Given the suspicion surrounding the police at the moment, I felt it only right to point out there is actually some lengthy training involved, when you join the police, rather than just a few background checks and an interview then you're out on the streets with the public which is kind of, albeit unwittingly, how your post made it sound.
Alright I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget and miss that part out in my other post.

Personally, I wouldn't consider 12 weeks lengthy training at all when you consider how long lawyers go to school for to learn the laws police officers are meant to be upholding
 
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100% and like I said further up, we're not just talking about the serious tit like murder etc. It's all the "little" stuff too. I would hazard a guess that a majority of men have made a woman feel uncomfortable at some point in their lives.
Most women I know have had experiences where they have been made to feel uncomfortable by men in some way. From something relatively small to almost being grape, to actually being grape. It’s really shocking when you sit and think about it. How can it be a minority of men when the majority of women have experienced this? Again I’m not saying all men, but it has to be more than a minority.

It’s time we stopped telling women how to behave and started telling men instead. Teach boys about boundaries and consent instead of brushing bad behaviour off as “boys being boys” because that’s where it starts imo. Society as a whole needs to start condemning behaviours that often get laughed or brushed off. Sorry going off on a bit of a tangent here but I’m so angry for Sarah and her family. How many years have women had to put up with this bull? How many lives lost before something more is done? Enough is enough.

I have great respect for the police but I don’t think I’ll ever trust a male police officer after this.
 
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