Sarah Everard #2

[AlanBanan]

Forgive me, I'm not having a go at either of these posters, but how on earth can any of you think that a bloke with a shaven head looks either "normal" or "friendly"? He just looks like a psychopath.

Today I learned my dad is a psychopath

 

[ClockworkDolly]

I do feel this has also changed my thinking, and this isn’t directed at anyone in particular, but the emphasis on how she was ‘such a nice girl’ etc is a little backward - she could have been the biggest cow around and she still wouldn’t have deserved to get abducted and murdered.

Society had the same attitudes when the Yorkshire Ripper was at large. He mostly murdered prostitutes back in the 70s, but as soon as he murdered a woman who was considered ‘nice’ the public reacted rather differently.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

I love a bald guy! Hello have we seen Dwayne Johnson Not relevant but for any bald people reading, you’re beaut okay x

 

[lalalanded]

I had this an hour or so ago when someone shared another case.
The woman got into a car with the man who then killed her. My first thought was how dumb she was to get into a car with a stranger, but that's obviously just a very quick way to victim blaming.
It's very odd to reflect on some stuff and really just wonder why or who ingrained it in me, and if women being taught to do x or y is indirectly doing this because presumably if I don't do those things I'm way more likely to die. In reality, just as in the case of Sarah, it doesn't seem to matter if you do those things - it's if you come across the wrong person and the wrong time. You can't be blamed for that.

Yes, I did something similar with this case even though I have walked those very streets after dark myself. When I saw the route Sarah took I thought 'Why on earth would she walk through the common? That's just asking to be attacked!' when actually she had every right to be walking wherever she wanted. These thoughts are so deeply ingrained, more has to be done to challenge them.

 

[emmer_moans]

What pains me is people getting butt hurt that women say they feel unsafe and ARE statistically unsafe. The facts and anecdotes are in their millions, but no, men and some other genders are trying to centre themselves on this, on social media. No! Women are abused and have been abused since the dawn of time and it is unfair. Men/and some women need to realise we don't mean every individual man but to shut up and listen, shut up and adapt their behaviour to make women feel safe. It's a biological fact that one sex has a general unfair advantage with regards physical strength and body structure. It is a social fact that on the whole, girls are socialised to watch their backs, take precautions, shrink into wallflowers, minimise themselves because boys are generally socialised in a system that encourages them to do whatever their ego desires. There is a fundamental flaw in the way women are disadvantaged, and treated. Yes there are many millions of 'gentlemen' out there but we cannot deny the statistics of women being abused, murdered etc etc at the hands of men. In general, women would love to be safe, not to fall prey to abuse.

Why is that so hard for those pouting on social media, to understand?! I'm sick of people trying to de-centre women in all of this

I can't take my mind off poor Sarah and her family.

 

[marisa9]

I can't stop thinking about Sarah, and her family and friends. This is all so heartbreaking.
The thing that is really bothering me that I haven't seen mentioned a lot, is that this is what she will be remembered for. All the things she achieved, what she liked doing, her personality, everything that she was loved for - all of that will be overshadowed by how her life ended.
I think of me, and my friends, and I hate the thought of that being any of our legacy. I really hope we eventually get to hear some stories about Sarah from those who knew her best about how brilliant she was. I know its none of the public's business, but if it was my friend this happened to, I'd want to shout from the rooftops about what an amazing, funny, kind, wonderful person they were, and they weren't just a tragic statistic.

I hope this makes sense?

 

[lalalanded]

How many more women will need to die before something changes?

I dread the answer to that. Two women a week for the past twenty years or so hasn't made a difference.

 

[ClockworkDolly]

How many more women will need to die before something changes?

There have been high-profile cases of murders against women every bloody decade and sadly, this will continue into the next decade. Nothing is really done about the reasons why men continue to murder women. I am always saddened by the Claudia Lawrence case. She went missing in March 2009, her body has never been found. I know the issues are money and resources in every Police force, but then these missing women get forgotten about, just another name in society.

I was hoping Sarah Everard would turn up somewhere, out of the blue, but she has become yet another sad murder statistic.

She deserved so much better. All women should never have to live in fear.

 

[Wackie Jeaver]

I hope its ok to post this... but with Wayne Couzens at the Old Bailey today I think it's topical.

What an absolute piece of shit he is. Her poor family. And his too - taking his wife and children to play in the woods where he left her body.

Sometimes I absolutely despair. I hope he gets a proper life sentence.

 

[Esme]

Just thinking out loud that it would probably be relatively easy for him to have hidden dodgy behaviour from his wife.

Late home? Shift was crazy and something held him back.

In a funny mood? Can’t talk about it, work related issue.

Disappearing at random times? Getting called into work.

Away for the weekend? Training / conference etc etc.

I wonder if the wife is wracking her brains now.

I have wondered if he told her that he had to stay on late that Wednesday or had to work an extra shift to cover sickness/absence. She probably wouldn’t have doubted it. Then the police arrested her because they believed she was lying to protect him. The fact she’s out on bail it can’t have been anything serious.

RIP Sarah, we didn’t know you but we feel the anguish and pain of your family and friends and we will keep fighting for things to change x

 

[Cjbxo]

RIP Sarah

 

[Tippingpoint23]

The thing is taxis are not always a safer option? There have been many times where I’ve got a taxi alone somewhere and felt uncomfortable. I’ve been questioned when being picked up from home about who I live with. I’ve felt like I needed to lie and say that no I don’t live alone. I’ve pretended to be on the phone in the back of a taxi to someone waiting for me at home. I’ve sat there and desperately tried to memorise the cab number on the back of the seat in case something happens.

On the other hand, I have also rang a taxi company before and been told they wouldn’t take me because it was only a 5 minute walk!

My uni town was absolutely ace for taxis and they would take you any distance - they also had the option to select female drivers and a few other safety features. I used them a lot after late nights in the library. But I realise this is not the norm and an absolute privilege (which is ridiculous!!).

 

[2020two]

Spoiler: Spoilers because it’s about “rape” fetish

There’s definitely a fetish for “rape” porn, though I think they call it something like forcing or forced?Not actually sure since the whole thing is weird and doesn’t float my boat at all.
there used to be a Reddit community for it and a lot of people would comment on how ‘realistic’ it is or something.

It's called CNC - consensual non consent. It's very big in the BDSM community and essentially is a woman agreeing to be raped as a part of kink. I'm researching it as a part of my job. There's an app called Whisper which is full of men asking to rape women and men who post things such as "any girls lying about their age" "any girls too young to be on here" "any underage virgins looking for a daddy" "any girls wanting to be destroyed". I've tried multiple times to talk to the police about this app but all they've suggested is I contact the website myself and complain. It's terrifying and you can see young women replying in the comments.

Apologies that this is nothing to do with Sarah - but just wanted to highlight that there are men out there online preying on young women and the police don't care. I want to expose this app but I don't have the resources.

 

[flowersinmyhair]

I can't stop thinking about Sarah, and her family and friends. This is all so heartbreaking.
The thing that is really bothering me that I haven't seen mentioned a lot, is that this is what she will be remembered for. All the things she achieved, what she liked doing, her personality, everything that she was loved for - all of that will be overshadowed by how her life ended.
I think of me, and my friends, and I hate the thought of that being any of our legacy. I really hope we eventually get to hear some stories about Sarah from those who knew her best about how brilliant she was. I know its none of the public's business, but if it was my friend this happened to, I'd want to shout from the rooftops about what an amazing, funny, kind, wonderful person they were, and they weren't just a tragic statistic.

I hope this makes sense?

I agree. I find it so sad when women are remembered for their victim hood when they all stood for and meant so much more to their family and friends.
When I think of Rachel Nickell I try and think of her lovely smile and how she loved being a mother; Sarah Payne: her sweet little face; holly wells and Jessica chapman: how they clearly had a beautiful friendship; moira Jones - universally seemed to be known as a lovely fun outgoing lady... I could go on but it’s making me sad. Sarah Everard - I’ll always remember her kind face and the fact that she so clearly inspired such love in her friends and family.l. I have friends who knew her and they are absolutely devastated.
They all deserved so much more.

 

[Bettyboo2475]

He’s doing everything he can to not go to prison. I hope he’s scared.

 

[Columbo]

Sarah, may your gentle soul rest in perfect peace. Your name will never be forgotten. You are every one of us

 

[Clojo92]

How do you want men to change?

They can start by challenging their own and others behaviours towards women.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I have read a lot of comments that say: "I hope she didn't suffer."

I don't understand why someone would make this comment. She was kidnapped on the way to her home by a man who then killed her and presumably raped her before.
Of course she suffered.
She must have feared for her life the second he took her, he was surely violent and hurt her and she must have realised at some point that he would kill her.

This is what makes it so horrific.

I feel like by saying "I hope she didn't suffer" people are making light of what happened.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Susan Everard's impact statement has broken me. Also completely repulsed that colleagues called him 'the rapist' and nothing was done about it. How on earth can you walk around at work being called 'the rapist' with no consequences...it beggars belief

 

[Hereforthegigs]

I can't stop thinking about the poor beautiful girl, she probably did suffer and I hate to say it, he probably did whatever he could. But we will get justice for her and her soul can be at rest that we all know the truth and know what a monster he is. I've got images of her crying, begging and him being in total control. It's so disturbing. Piece of fucking shit