Sarah Everard #2

[lalalanded]

Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed by their reaction to this? I can't stop crying. I just can't understand how this could have happened.

 

[avabella]

Just thinking out loud that it would probably be relatively easy for him to have hidden dodgy behaviour from his wife.

Late home? Shift was crazy and something held him back.

In a funny mood? Can’t talk about it, work related issue.

Disappearing at random times? Getting called into work.

Away for the weekend? Training / conference etc etc.

I wonder if the wife is wracking her brains now.

 

[Peeky_Mink]

That tweet from Davina has massively bothered me. I was assaulted by a male taxi driver once, he forced me to do horrible things, so I no longer get taxis at all, even if accompanied by other people. So what exactly am I meant to do if I'm on my own and there are no buses around, other than walk on my own? I should be able to do this without any fear.

 

[Mascaragirl]

How do you want men to change?

To call out their friends rape jokes
To call out their friends groping women
To call out men in public they see harassing women
To be aware of how something innocent such as walking behind a woman has the potential to terrify us.
I could go on and on and on

 

[avabella]

I do feel this has also changed my thinking, and this isn’t directed at anyone in particular, but the emphasis on how she was ‘such a nice girl’ etc is a little backward - she could have been the biggest cow around and she still wouldn’t have deserved to get abducted and murdered.

 

[QueenBW]

That is not something that "all men" need to stop doing. Do good men need to change? No. So saying all men need to isn't fair.

You know what's not fair? Not being able to walk outside at night without taking a host of precautions. Ending up dead just because some asshole man decided they could kill you.

"Not all men" adds NOTHING to the discussion. Yeah, not all men are rapists. Congrats. Gold star for you, if you're a woman for pointing that out. If you are a man and don’t recognise yourself in the behaviour described, then good. But you can still check yourself. I know many "good" men who snicker at sexist jokes. I know many "good" men who have not said anything to a friend who called their gf a "bitch". And even if someone is truly a perfectly good man, understand that we're not talking individuals here. We're talking about men as a social structure, as a group that has privilege and often abuses it. Even if you've never taken conscious advantage of that privilege.

The fact that it's 2021, we're in a forum about a woman being murdered for absolutely no reason other than a man could do it, and we still have to defend/explain ourselves to "#notallmen" supporters. Wowza.

 

[justheretoread99]

I think its very naïve to trust people with naked images sorry. Obviously the person who betrays the person is in the wrong but I wouldn't put myself in that position in the first place knowing how really nasty some ex partners can get. You're just setting yourself up to be blackmailed.

Stop. Victim. Blaming. Just fucking stop it.

Phrases like “I wouldn’t put myself in that position in the first place” need to stop. Now.

It’s not helping the issue. Never has. Never will.

Gold star for you for not trusting people with naked images. But I have. I’m sure a lot of women in this thread have. Mine have been leaked. To social media. Did I blame myself? HELL FUCKING NO. Did my friends blame me? HELL FUCKING NO. Did my family blame me? HELL FUCKING NO.

Admins and mods sorry for the language and aggression. Give me a warning if needed. But I’m tired of the victim blaming.

Sarah, I pray with my entire soul you did not suffer. This shouldn’t have happened to you. This shouldn’t happen to anyone

 

[thegirlscout]

I just want to say, even though it’s been a difficult topic, thank you to everyone here and on the real life murder and crime thread for allowing women a space to talk and be open and thank you to women for supporting each other. I know sometimes threads can descend into an absolute mess (like in websleuths) but we’ve had a balanced conversation and I for one am glad because I’ve been holding onto this legitimate fear for so long but never felt like I could talk about it.

 

[gigi_93]

Forgive me, I'm not having a go at either of these posters, but how on earth can any of you think that a bloke with a shaven head looks either "normal" or "friendly"? He just looks like a psychopath.

This is a really weird thing to say

 

[lalalanded]

My MIL ‘I mean, what was she thinking walking that way?’

Bear in mind we live no where near this area so she would have no clue whether it’s pitch black or lit up like Blackpool bloody illuminations. I soon set her straight

The patriarchy is real. The scary thing is that it's not just our institutions, it's in our heads. Things need to change. We need to flip the conversation on its head. It should never be 'why did she walk that route' it should be 'why are men stalking and attacking women walking home?'.

 

[Jane Fonda]

Sadly that will take a long,long time.
So much has gone wrong with society and boys are sometimes not being brought up to respect women .
Having said that I have seen young girls / women actually giving the " come and get me" to men...so both sides need to change and learn.

Can you clarify that last bit? No woman entices a man to assault or murder them.

 

[lozzapaloozza]

Forgive me, I'm not having a go at either of these posters, but how on earth can any of you think that a bloke with a shaven head looks either "normal" or "friendly"? He just looks like a psychopath.

Does a man with a shaved head scream psychopath? Didn’t know there was a type

 

[Officedoor123]

I live in this area. She was murdered by her dad. So very sad. She was a patient in the place I work. Her uncle who was the other man who was arrested initially has an appointment with us next week. The police are still at the address now. A terrible story.

Sounds as though you work in healthcare/mental health, in which case you should absolutely not be giving out patient info like this. Shocking.

 

[LittleMy]

Forgive me, I'm not having a go at either of these posters, but how on earth can any of you think that a bloke with a shaven head looks either "normal" or "friendly"? He just looks like a psychopath.

Which baldy bloke shit in your cornflakes?

Plenty of men have shaven heads for various reasons. Doesn’t make them psychopaths.

 

[lalalanded]

That is not something that "all men" need to stop doing. Do good men need to change? No. So saying all men need to isn't fair.

I don't care about your hurt feelings. This isn't about you, it's about a woman who was abducted off of a busy street and murdered and her body thrown away. You are a bit part of the problem if you cannot see that. A 'good' man would not need that explained to them.

 

[jackolantern]

That is not something that "all men" need to stop doing. Do good men need to change? No. So saying all men need to isn't fair.

Do you know what truly isn't fair? Being kindapped and brutally murdered while walking home from a friends. But sorry, your hurt feelings take the upmost precedence.

 

[coriander]

I'm not joking but the police should really consider having a room where the interiors are entirely cushioned by foam/sponge, so they can't kill themselves whilst in custody. It's not fair on the victim for him to find an easy way out. Also repeated attempts to take his own life screams guilty to me.

 

[LDNtea]

Yes, I agree. This is also needs to become part of the wider conversation although it's probably not the right time. Sarah and women like Jo Yeates are middle class nice girls. The media and society at large tend to have more sympathy for these sort of victims than sex workers or drug users (statistically more likely to come to harm). No women should be more deserving of our sympathy. A lot of people have mentioned cases here that I have never even heard of.

As someone said there was a 16year old girl who got killed in Wales last week working in her family Chinese restaurant. Barely anyone knows about this

 

[Buffy]

Fully prepared for people to jump down my throat for what I am about to say.

This is an ongoing criminal investigation, because of this I personally would not make any comment on the alleged perpetrator or any details of the case.

I find it somewhat grizzly that people are speculating & trying to work out what may or may not have happened to the victim, in some gruesome detail I may add it feels like rubber necking a bad accident.

Anyway because of this I’m out. I hope the police continue to meticulously investigate & build a case so there is a fair trial for her family.

 

[Emmy44]

He’s been charged!!!