Sara Sharif case

[Itchy of Itchington]

When we bear in mind that Sara and her brother were removed from their mother and placed in their father’s custody, I hate to think what the reasoning was. I wonder if the mother had experienced domestic violence with him.
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Oh yes, that’s true, I was just thinking like a normal bite could leave marks and teeth dragged along the surface could cause the person to bite harder / shift the hold if the person being bitten tried to move away

I believe their mother has said they were supposed to have joint child arrangements but he gradually stopped the children seeing her. This could be parental alienation or it could be that she disclosed abuse and then the courts decided to give full time residency to their father
Their mum is Polish and did not recognise Sara as she was so badly beaten. My heart absolutely breaks for that little girl and her siblings.
Legally you can still smack a child in England and Wales which horrifies me. But this is far beyond what would be considered legal which is a bit hazy but basically is not leaving a mark and not using any implement or your fists and is a one off. I wonder if they were going to try and claim he smacked her and she then fell and died. However the bite marks as well as the burns are all evidence that this was not "legal punishment". It sounds absolutely sadistic

The bite marks are all in places that would be covered by clothes and even more so by hijab. As she was 10 it maybe that although her dad knew she was being hit and punished by his wife some of the worst injuries were not seen by him. Clearly he didn't actually care or even truly love that little girl. She must have led such a sad life

 

[Ilovemusic]

The stepmother is the biological mother of the four youngest children. Sara wasn't taken out of school to be "home-schooled", more than likely the reason she was removed from school was because the stepmother wanted "help" in the home. The poor girl was a domestic slave and the stepmother inflicted the majority of the violence, as evidenced by her refusal for the dental examination (an accused should not have the right of refusal!).

 

[Shak]

Much more detail in the Daily Mail report distressing content for those that don't wish to read

Interesting them turning on each other now. The step mother I find very odd. I can't get the image out of my head of her sitting there and calling Sara's death an "incident" and then proceeding to moan about how hard it is for them being in hiding

Also I feel for the siblings what they've seen and heard, I doubt they'll be getting the support they need while in Pakistan after the trauma they've witnessed

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

The fact Sara was known to the LA is really making me wonder how closely that removal for home education was checked. I work in a related field and for EHE to be deemed suitable my LA checks social services and health records as well as any safeguarding concerns the school has. All our cases where a child is on a protection plan we wouldn't seem suitable and would have the child back in school asap. I know more and more will come out and if any of them try to say she was a difficult child as happened in the Arthur Labinjo Hughes case I will absolutely flip. I wonder if her being born to a non Muslim mother played a part as well as being the oldest girl. I'm raging at this case. Sorry. It's too close to some of the families I have dealt with (White British and British Pakistani as well as other groups) who are awful to all their kids but especially awful to their girls.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

There’s a bit of a disconnect between the pictures of her in a hijab/covered and that picture of her with lots of jewellery and makeup, not covered. I wonder what the chronology of that is?

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

She started wearing hijab not long before she was taken out of school I seem to recall. They claimed she was bullied over it and that's why she was removed for home education

 

[Ilovemusic]

She started wearing hijab not long before she was taken out of school I seem to recall. They claimed she was bullied over it and that's why she was removed for home education

Home education indoctrination.

 

[catlady29]

I know there are awful people in all walks of life, but being myself closely associated with the culture they are from I absolutely agree with the above person who has said that they probably removed Sara from school to be domestic help in the house. It is perfectly normal in pakistan to have young children working as maids in the house and it makes me sick tbh, that is exactly what the step mum will have done, viewed Sara as not even human, and used her as a slave and outlet for her own frustration, beating her like a dog. I bet anything that the main perp is the stepmum.
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I'm raging at this case. Sorry. It's too close to some of the families I have dealt with (White British and British Pakistani as well as other groups) who are awful to all their kids but especially awful to their girls.

100% it needs to be said and acknowledged. I wonder if her brother was a victim of any kind of violence? Its also often the women who are the worst abusers, despite their own awful girlhoods, they take it out on their own daughters, and this is speaking from personal experience before anyone wants to say its racist to say that.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

There was a case in Hertfordshire of a young woman from a Bangladeshi family who was tortured and ultimately murdered by her sister in law. Shahena Uddin. I remember the whole case giving me the absolute creeps, this poor beautiful young woman just subjected to the most gross abuse. She was 19 when she was murdered but was repeatedly described as vulnerable which I took to mean a form of learning disability. Five of her siblings were jailed for their part in it, but the sister in law was convicted as the main perpetrator. I imagine several of the siblings are out of prison now.

 

[Lynn’ssnazzycardigan]

Of course he knows it’s not legal, but he himself said in the 999 call that he ‘legally’ punished her.

Someone asked how it was part of UK law, and that’s why I posted what I did.
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I absolutely didn’t ‘blame his religion’ and I would never, ever do that. The facts are that he himself said he legally punished her, that’s how it came about in the discussion here, because in what other way could he say it was legal? If he views the Islamic law as legal - to discipline but not kill - he would believe that he was behaving legally, and his actions went too far, but would also know that he would be charged per UK law.

The other adults are equally culpable and are rightly on trial alongside him, I don’t think anyone would disagree with that.

No, no, I meant disgusting of him! The passages you shared state clearly that in Islam the parent should act as a patient guide to their child and mentions physical punishment as a last resort (which I said I don’t condone).

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

No, no, I meant disgusting of him! The passages you shared state clearly that in Islam the parent should act as a patient guide to their child and mentions physical punishment as a last resort (which I said I don’t condone).

Oh sorry! I misunderstood

 

[Lynn’ssnazzycardigan]

Oh sorry! I misunderstood

Well it’s a very emotive case so no hard feelings. Difficult questions are going to be asked of everyone involved and I hope frank discussions are had, especially since reading other posters’ experiences of aspects of some people’s culture. And I don’t think it’s phobic or racist to say I mean Pakistani and Muslim. Of course we have sadly seen there are abusive so-called parents and step-parents from all walks of life but I get the impression that authorities are still more worried about disrespecting someone’s religion/culture than stepping in to help a child in need. Surely if we as a nation are trying to understand and work with different lifestyles we should then be more aware of red flags such as a young Muslim girl (who has previous SW involvement and younger step-siblings) being pulled out of school. It hadn’t even occurred to me that she was probably being used as a domestic slave but now it calls to mind stories I have read of young women from Pakistani families being married to older men and being treated horribly by their husband’s family (usually the mother in law). I can’t find the story now but I remember one woman who had been beaten with an iron in such circumstances. It’s this view that women and girls are less than human and should be useful to have any value.
And it shouldn’t need saying but wanted to add I do not associate the Muslims and Pakistani families I know with these people. As with parents I know from all backgrounds they would rather die than harm a hair on their child’s head.

 

[moldwarp]

Just been reading more about the injuries and duck me. Those 'parents' and 'family members' are ANIMALS.
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The bite marks are all in places that would be covered by clothes and even more so by hijab. As she was 10 it maybe that although her dad knew she was being hit and punished by his wife some of the worst injuries were not seen by him.

Oh I have no doubt he saw them or was at least aware of them, firstly because you don't need to cover in front of your male relatives and secondly because of the nature of the injuries. Untreated full thickness burns will suppurate, become infected, leak and smell. Spinal fractures will result in walking difficulties or inability to walk. By the end she probably could not move at all with all the fractures listed. So yeah the fucker knew alright.

The fact Sara was known to the LA is really making me wonder how closely that removal for home education was checked.

I really hope this is not going to be a case like Victoria Climbie, where social workers were less assertive than they should have been because they were worried about offending cultural sensitivities. That beast Savannah Brockhill also successfully pulled this one by claiming that Star's grandparents' reports to SS were driven by anti-Traveller prejudice.

@catlady29 I'm so grateful you said that yes in my culture also it's not unusual for one girl to be picked out as basically the resident house servant. Also, not unusual for women to perpetrate the worst abuse. Not going into detail but I have a male cousin who married, he brought his wife to live in the same house as his parents as is quite common in my culture and his mum, the woman's MIL, was a MONSTER to her. Constant work, constant criticism, constant undermining and bullying. She eventually left but only after she had waste literal decades of her life.

I dissociated myself from my culture quite early on in life which led to some family issues, but I wanted to be an independent woman and I hate the misogyny that's still embedded in many aspects of my culture. I very consciously 'became# British and am so grateful for UK values, not sure that UK natives realise how fortunate they are tbh. I very strongly believe that abuse or shoddy treatment, especially of women and girls, should NEVER be ignored because people think 'oh, mustn't judge, that's just their culture'.

 

[Mollywobbles]

There’s a bit of a disconnect between the pictures of her in a hijab/covered and that picture of her with lots of jewellery and makeup, not covered. I wonder what the chronology of that is?

I wondered if the one with the makeup etc was because he wanted to sell her as marriage material to an older man.

 

[Shak]

I wondered if the one with the makeup etc was because he wanted to sell her as marriage material to an older man.

Being close to this culture myself, I have no doubt in my mind that she would have been shipped off to Pakistan once she came of age and married to a close male relative.

 

[catlady29]

@catlady29 I'm so grateful you said that yes in my culture also it's not unusual for one girl to be picked out as basically the resident house servant. Also, not unusual for women to perpetrate the worst abuse. Not going into detail but I have a male cousin who married, he brought his wife to live in the same house as his parents as is quite common in my culture and his mum, the woman's MIL, was a MONSTER to her. Constant work, constant criticism, constant undermining and bullying. She eventually left but only after she had waste literal decades of her life.

Its awful isn't it, don't want to take it off topic but I myself lived in a joint family for a few years and I swear it was the worst time of my life, EVERYTHING you do is scrutinised, how u eat, how often u go to loo, how many times u washed the dishes that day etc, soul destroying, all done and encouraged by the mother inlaw, evil witch, and there is such a culture of "respect elders" that NO ONE calls it out, everyone will complain amongst themselves, but the witch will still be the first served and have her shoes taken from her feet for her upon entering the house. Mine has 4 sons and no daughters, all daughter inlaws so I'm sure u can imagine how much of a queen she thinks herself for bearing 4 boys. The sons won't hear a word against her despite knowing how bad she is, its awful to say but all us dils are literally just waiting for her to die, we think she's immortal, she's quite old but been so pampered she's in perfect health. If that stepmum was like that to Sara, I cannot even imagine her life, we found it so hard as adults, and that's without the physical abuse aspect, she must have also mentally tortured Sara, that poor girl

 

[moldwarp]

Being close to this culture myself, I have no doubt in my mind that she would have been shipped off to Pakistan once she came of age and married to a close male relative.

Agreed, the make-up photo is posed like a portrait photo, it's not taken mid-activity or with her looking at the camera and thus claiming some agency over her image. I thought from the start it very much gave the vibes of 'this is what's on offer' ya know like when Henry VIII ordered the portrait of Anne of Cleves so he could guage the worth of the proposed transaction.

For UK natives, I would say that if you can imagine a culture where marriage is a business or social transaction before it's a free choice of love, then you will probably get a better understanding of that photo.

Obvs could be completely wrong, not least because I feel like it would be weird to put her on the marriage market with a pic where she wasn't covered. Could just literally be a little girl playing dress up.
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Mine has 4 sons and no daughters, all daughter inlaws so I'm sure u can imagine how much of a queen she thinks herself for bearing 4 boys. The sons won't hear a word against her

Oh gosh lol you would have to drag me through HELL before I would EVER marry or have a relationship with a man from my culture. a) because they're spoiled and sexist and lazy af and b) because you don't just marry him, you get his dragon-mother too!!

 

[teadropsx]

I am close to the culture of the vile 3 adults. Urfan most likely got into a relationship with Sara’s mother Olga probably to secure EU/ British citizenship. There clearly was more than just that as they had 2 children together.
An earlier poster mentioned this too that one child usually the oldest female is taken as a servant and later married to a close relative of the parents abroad only to allow them to come to the uk.

The case is beyond horrific. Is anyone close by to the court and able to go to any of the trial days?

 

[catlady29]

Sara Sharif found with ‘disturbing’ injuries as father’s 999 call revealed - live

In a 999 call, Urfan Sharif told the operator: ‘I legally punished her, and she died’

www.independent.co.uk

Live updates, neighbour said she'd hear smacking and shouting only when the father WASNT at home
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Also says she was the only one in the household to wear a hijab pretty obvious it was used to cover bruises.

 

[moldwarp]

An earlier poster mentioned this too that one child usually the oldest female is taken as a servant and later married to a close relative of the parents abroad only to allow them to come to the uk.

Yup yup, this is a tried and tested scheme, families can bring multiple generations to the UK by doing this. At the centre of it is often an abused young woman.