Sara Sharif case

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

Yes
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It’s just awful. The sisters texts have dumbfounded me, in what world is that an acceptable response, regardless of culture?

This is nothing to do with culture. No culture on earth condones the torture of children. Please let's not forget that, even though Pakistan has no extradition treaty with the UK, the Pakistani police hunted these animals down and forced them to flee back to the UK

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

This explains why not much reporting today, the injuries are taking hours to go through.
Horrific.

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[Pavement1979]

In terms of parenting I did a systemic social work course and it's amazing how much you learn from your family of origin. Consciously and unconsciously. You learn how to do life really, we all have family scripts that teach us how to do traditions, roles, communicate, resolve conflict, how we view ourselves and others etc. Think about how much the way we do Christmas, birthdays, meal times etc is learnt from our childhood! Our parents teach us how to parent and give us a blueprint for life, from small stuff like who does the food shopping to huge stuff like how to conduct arguments or attend school and work.

If you received poor parenting you can either replicate (do what they did), correct it by doing the exact opposite (completely reject their way) or improvise and parent intuitively and come up with your own way. It's a choice and you are responsible for your choice.

Not a lot of us are taught to 'do' emotional regulation well. Most of us do reflexive Stimulus > Response. Someone or something stimulates an emotional response and we react with x behaviour. When you start to be self aware and reflect on your behaviour you start to do Stimulus > Pause > think about why you feel that way and want to respond that way > think if that's a healthy response or a trauma/unhealthy/unconscious response> CHOOSE a response.

US, BB (and maybe silent uncle) seem to have zero self awareness or self control, self reflection or sense of self. Look how they are so emotional in court. It's just ego centred drama, with their 'show' in the centre. The basic lack of human empathy for a tiny child like Sara, and I suspect the other kids shows how broken they are. They can't control themselves or their lives and they are like ego based, undeveloped, angry, aggressive toddlers in adult bodies. They are beyond pathetic. Unhealed, unaware and unsympathetic as people

 

[Mollywobbles]

I naively assumed that the father had perhaps smacked her and she had fallen, maybe down the stairs, and died as a result. Then he fled because he panicked.

Nothing prepared me for the sheer brutality that was meted out to this young girl.

 

[Skewbedu]

I remember many years ago a close work colleague had been on jury service. I asked her about her experience because I had loved doing mine. She obviously wasn't allowed to go into too much detail but it has eventually lasted three weeks and it was a child sexual abuse trial. She said the whole thing had been traumatising. I guess about six months later or so she was signed off work with anxiety and depression. We met up for a cuppa and the toll that trial had taken was so visible. She's never been the same since and never came back to the job. More support is needed post trial for jurors. We have no specialist training or counselling. One minute you are living your life, then next you can potentially be exposed to unimaginable inhumane acts. How can anyone stay on an even keel after that?

 

[moldwarp]

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.arc...if-father-attacked-women-burned-children.html

More information here about this scum bag. He had a history of assaulting a 1 month old baby, and sadly burning children with irons an injury poor Sara also had. In another article it was stated that he started a “relationship” with a 15 year old polish girl he went on to abuse. It just gets worse.
More information about olga here to, stating that SS were worried she was extremely vulnerable as had possible learning difficulties and likely to be exploited. She had no chance against someone like him who just manipulated her into marriage and children so he could have a right to stay in the UK.
I think the worst thing is female Social Services have documented that they felt abused by him!!! But they then agreed to put innocent children back into his care. I do think this is one of those times that Social services really do hold a lot of blame here. There was so much evidence against him and signs Sara was terrified of him as a baby.

Yeah and also The Times today reported:

"The father of Sara Sharif allegedly hit two children and physically abused three girlfriends before the death of his ten-year-old daughter, a court has been told.

Urfan Sharif, 42, had been arrested after three “separate, unconnected” Polish women reported him to the police for controlling behaviour and holding them against their will, the jury was told."

I admit my bias as I'm a survivor of DV and I don't really like men much with a few notable exceptions, but my view is that US is an abusive c-nt and he's trying to play the poor widdle victim of DV now because his barrister told him it would play well in court.
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Sara Sharif's father 'threatened to kill ex-partners', court hears

Three former partners accuse Urfan Sharif of threats to kill and false imprisonment since 2004.

www.bbc.co.uk

Very sinister with his apparent targeting of Polish women in particular.

Yeah I wonder if it wasn't so much Polish women per se as women who maybe hadn't achieved British citizenship yet so he know they'd be vulnerable and maybe extra fearful of leaving him as no fixed abode / no family ties makes it easier to be refused citizenship.

Another possibility is that the Polish women were trafficked women, the central and eastern europe pipeline of trafficking vitims to the UK is very big and active.
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I hope to goodness US doesn't take after his father. I really, truly hope the children are being well looked after and that US is not representative of his family. I have my doubts however, because his brother is also in the dock and the grandfather clearly harboured them when they were on the run

Ultimately, in these very conservative religious society, loyalty is tribal and loyalty will be to the family over law enforcement. It's sad but true. Same with multiple wives, if you are following the edicts of The Prophet correctly your wives have to agree to the polygamous arrangement, in practice, they are never asked.

It's also common for the more 'junior' / newer wives to be bullied/abused by the senior one. And daughters in law get treated like shite very often. Refuge the DV charity has said that in the UK this is exacerbated in immigrant communities eg Pakistani community in UK because the women often don't have good English so can't get help.

That's the problem with conservative relious culture (I come from one myself) - it's rife with abuse of women because they are not empowered or able to speak up. Especially if you think about insular immigrant communities in the UK, they may believe they have good reason not to trust the British authorities (police, SS) so that acts as another barrier to seeking help. Same with trafficked women from Eastern Europe.

It's a massive, massive problem going on just below the sightline of mainstream society. And it's kind of taboo to discuss cos it gets seized on by racists with their own agendas. I reckon that when all the details of this case are made known, it will become a public debate that we have to have. And that in itself would be one good thing to come out of this horror, I suppose.

 

[moldwarp]

Could not agree more. My friend was a social worker and is the most kind, caring person I've ever met. She was genuinely desperate to make a difference but ended up leaving the local authority because she was being let down by management who were giving her impossible workloads which meant she felt she was letting down children and families. She'd be awake at night worrying about children and whether she'd missed something and terrified of something happening to both a child and herself. She's been in horrifying situations, been threatened, assaulted and spat at. In the end she left not just the job but the profession as she was so burned out within just 2 years

Your friend's experience is one reason why there is a massive shortfall of people entering the social work profession. The elephant in the room is that it's simply not a job that many people want to do.

Paying them a hell of a lot more would be a start. However, like all other female dominated professions (teaching, care, nursing), peopple are expected to do it for peanuts because, as women, they are supposed to be naturally kind, caring and have a calling. /s

It's part of the deeply entrenched institutional misogyny in our society whereby female dominated caring roles are not respected or deemed worthy of appropriate financial compensation.

Whereas you can bet that the male dominated industries (financial services, law) in which testosterone fuelled dudes sit around hitting their keyboards are MORE than adequately compensated.

If it was predominantly men who went into social work, we would magically see it become a highly valued profession with very high safety standards and proper pay for practitioners.

On topic...

Does anyone know whether each of the three defendents has their own barrister? And does this mean that each barrister will be able to cross examine the other two as witnesses? Will it be three separate verdicts?

Could take a v long time and get v confusing if so.

Clearly the fuckers will all try and blame each other.

 

[catlady29]

I know there are awful people in all walks of life, but being myself closely associated with the culture they are from I absolutely agree with the above person who has said that they probably removed Sara from school to be domestic help in the house. It is perfectly normal in pakistan to have young children working as maids in the house and it makes me sick tbh, that is exactly what the step mum will have done, viewed Sara as not even human, and used her as a slave and outlet for her own frustration, beating her like a dog. I bet anything that the main perp is the stepmum.
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I'm raging at this case. Sorry. It's too close to some of the families I have dealt with (White British and British Pakistani as well as other groups) who are awful to all their kids but especially awful to their girls.

100% it needs to be said and acknowledged. I wonder if her brother was a victim of any kind of violence? Its also often the women who are the worst abusers, despite their own awful girlhoods, they take it out on their own daughters, and this is speaking from personal experience before anyone wants to say its racist to say that.

 

[MissTeddy]

I've followed many cases, and read so many horrific details but still this case is having the ability to shock me. I feel quite nauseous.
I find the thought of a little girl, in pain, terrified, with no one to love and care for her in this world just too much to bear.
Poor little Sara x

 

[willowxxxx]

My heart absolutely breaks for Sara. I cannot even begin to imagine being a small 10 year old child and having your arms and legs bound together with tape by a grown man, your father who is meant to love you and then he beats you with a cricket bat causing numerous fractures and strangles you so badly your bones break. And this was ongoing abuse. And then the hopelessness of knowing no one is coming to help, the other adults in that house either looked away or joined in. She suffered so much.
I hope those evil bastards rot in hell. I do think the lead up to this needs to be seriously looked at. A child being pulled out of school after being referred to Social services by the school for having unexplained bruising is a massive red flag that should never be ignored. Poor Sara had been abused all her life but they were only able to ramp up the abuse and torture that led to her death once she was out of school and therefore isolated from the outside world. Yes it is judges who make the final decision on if children gets removed but a judge didn’t have a chance as SS just closed the case once she was out of school and nothing was done to keep check of how she was at all. She was literally left to their mercy. This case needs to be a big wake up call to make sure homeschooled children especially where there has already been concerns of abuse or neglect receive some kind of safeguarding.

 

[Unicorn_Poop]

Before this trial started, I thought it had the hallmarks of being one of the worst child abuse cases of recent times yet the stuff that has actually come out is far far worse than I could ever have imagined

 

[HotesTilaire]

well this is why you have cross-examination. All he is doing is ensuring he doesn’t get any mitigation on sentencing.
I just can’t believe he hit her as she was dying, the poor girl. He’s an absolute animal.

 

[ChilliBean]

That sister should be in the dock as well in my opinion. “Just put the Qu’ran on” shameful!

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

The bites were either the step-mother, or another child was made to do it (which is unlikely). By not supplying dental imprints it implicates the step-mother as the two men were ruled out.

The previous neighbour only heard shouting and swearing at the children when BB was home, not US, but that doesn’t mean it was only her - it only means that’s what was heard.

For me, it almost doesn’t matter who actually harmed her - physically or psychologically - because all three adults in that house were all responsible for her wellbeing and all three of them failed.

I am so worried for the other children. I know they took them to Pakistan so they were with family rather than in care, but i suspect it’s also because the older siblings would be able to answer questions about what actually went on, and by whose hand.

 

[moldwarp]

Batool was a victim of honour-based abuse according to her barrister. She had to run away from home as a teen and was placed in a DV refuge.

Batool's barrister says that US essentially groomed her because she was young and extremely vulnerable when he met her.

US committed the violent offences on the Polish women when he was in UK on a student visa (not sure if that is still his visa or whether her has permanent residency, presume the latter). Before gaining custody of Sara he could only visit her supervised at a contact centre. Sara would shout at him to 'go away'.

When all this is over I really hope that a serious (and non-racist!) public conversation is had about insular immigrant communities which keep their women hidden and separated from UK civic life and abuse them.

 

[moldwarp]

I didn’t word that very well when I said regardless of culture. What I meant was my response from the sister, in which she has been told about a child being abused and her response to that is to read the Qu’ran, and not to to do anything about it, that’s actually the culture I was referring to. The culture of staying silent, keeping things “in house”, not causing a fuss.

I understood what you meant. And the culture of fearing authority and not snitching/keeping stuff “in the family” applies to many more cultures than just Pakistanis (although it definitely applies there). My culture, working classes, Travellers, they all have that culture especially because these are patriarchal cultures where the father is the head of the house and is allowed to punish his children as he sees fit. Look at the recent case in Nottingham where Romanian kids were removed due to credible allegations of severe abuse and the community rioted until the kids got put back. I often wonder what’s become of those children now.

Overlay that fear of authority with a culture are devalues women and sees them as possessions (which rural Pakistani cultures definitely do) you have a recipe for an environment where abuse can flourish unseen by the outside world.

But yeah if my sister’s stepkid was being beaten up, the last thing I would be telling her to do is read a book, I don’t give a shit if it’s the Quran or Noddy Goes to Toyland, a book would be very low on my list of suggestions!!!

 

[Pinklobster]

Jet washing her body in the garden. I don’t even know what to say anymore. These “people” are just disgusting.

 

[moldwarp]

Her spinal injuries probably meant she became incontinent beasts.

Yes. She had ELEVEN SPINAL CORD INJURIES. These people are BEASTS.

Spoiler: Grim and Sad

"Pathologist Dr Cary concluded the 10-year-old died from complications arising from multiple injuries and neglect, the court heard. Her death was described as “cumulative” rather than being attributed to one specific injury or incident."

This is awful, so basically it was like Sylvia Likens or Junko Furuta, where a cumulation of weeks and months of planned, targetted traumatic torture eventually made it so that her little body couldn't take anymore. HOW can you see a child suffering and not do something to help, much less make it worse?

Also: she had 'tram track' injuries - as I understand it these are due to carefully targetted beatings/lacerations; they have been seen on Guantanamo detainees.

Also the chest 'collar' bruising - suggests long periods held down under heavy restraint or in a stress position.

Literally these are guantanamo war crime type injuries, these weren't injuries caused by a caregiver losing their temper, they were carefully thought out and planned.

 

[Ametrine]

I believe both Batool and Urfan abused Sara, and Batool just pretended to her sister that it was solely Urfan.

I wonder if Batool sent those messages to her sister as a way of "showing off" about the abuse she had carried out, under the cover of pretending to be concerned for Sara. I also think she sent those messages as a way of providing a cover story that she was innocent, in case anything happened to Sara that they couldn't cover up.

If she really was concerned about Sara, she would have called the police/social services, and she wouldn't have gone on to have four kids with Urfan.

The fact that she refuses to provide dental imprints to see if they matched the bite marks found on Sara's body speaks volumes. There's also testimony from neighbours saying they heard her frequently screaming abuse and swearing at her children.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

I think this might be the most sadistic case I ever remember reading about. I followed Star Hobson's trial and due to my job I've read a lot of case reviews. This is just beyond any level of understanding. Each new detail is horrifying. Poor poor Sara. How can anyone so full of hate to subject a child to this sort of torture