Ruby Granger #40 Ruby the linguistic terrorist

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Do we think Ruby has ever had a shag? Because my god a good rogering is exactly what she needs.
 
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She’s obviously half-inched that recipe from a website so why not just share the link rather than an artistic interpretation? There’s so much missing here it makes my baker’s soul hurt.

What’s the method? I’m assuming you curdle the ‘milk’ (soya? Oat? Almond? Pea? Potato?) with the vinegar but it’d be good to know. Equally do I cream the butter and sugar or just chuck everything in the bowl and hope for the best? Why are the fractions mixed - 2/3 of a cup of butter and 1.25 cups milk? How much vanilla - a teaspoon, a gallon? What size tin and what temperature oven, and for how long? Ok, we all know it‘ll be ‘in the aga until it’s a solid, deep brown, crisp disc that could injure you if dropped‘ but thow us a bone, Rubes. Honestly, if you’re going to present a recipe as your own at least make it make sense. And yes, cakes do have a habit of turning out bad when you don’t follow a method
 
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I have an idea as to why her concoctions always turn out bad, if that's how she approaches baking
 
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Do we think Ruby has ever had a shag? Because my god a good rogering is exactly what she needs.
Bloody hell was not ready for this comment but you are absolutely right, maybe she has with her bestest best friend
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Cakes also turn out bad when often you go for a tiptoe through the tulips in your dressing gown and leaving said cakes for 3x the amount of normal cooking time.
 
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So, according to her latest TikTok she finished reading Genuine Fraud (she read about half of it), looked out the window and contemplated the ending, watched an episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty, did some writing and (or ?) wrote some poetry, started another book, Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan and almost finished it (she had 20 pages left to read). But she did all of that during a 2 HOUR FLIGHT.

Huh?!??

The first episode of the show alone is 45 minutes. Also, I have read Small Things Like These by Keegan (which I absolutely recommend!) and although it's a short book (you could call it a novella), it's one that I enjoyed reading slowly. Not because it's dense or complicated, but because the story itself is in some way "quiet" or subtle and the pace isn't really fast. I'm sorry if my english isn't the best (and I'm really trying to not sound too rubyesque with this comparison) but the book felt comforting and quiet, a bit like the calm that exists during a snowfall at night, even though the story itself is dark at times, you know ?

So, Ruby almost finishing it in less than 2 hours (given the fact she did all those other things) tells me that 1) she either speed-reads or 2) she lies about having almost finished it. But why??? Why must you always lie?

Sigh... Maybe I'm just a really slow reader. And honestly, I prefer to be a slow reader and to actually engage with the story than do whatever the hell she's doing just to appear like a bOoKwORm and have 800 books marked as "read" on Goodreads.
 
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She’s obviously half-inched that recipe from a website so why not just share the link rather than an artistic interpretation? There’s so much missing here it makes my baker’s soul hurt.
I went back to check that section and she steals absolutely everything and contributes nothing of her own.



The design template is one of the stock layouts/designs from the website/printing service she used.



Most of the recipes and images are copied and pasted from Pinterest.



Others nabbed from specific sites she found in Google searches.



She just copies and pastes everything, with no attention paid to any missing information, like cooking instructions.

Most of the recipes have no instructions whatsoever, just a list of raw ingredients for you to pile into a bowl and eat with a fork, presumably.

For the few that she's included cooking instructions, there are...issues.



James's Peach Rolls (from James and the Giant Peach, I guess, but she doesn't clarify who or where any of these recipes originate from and leaves it to the imagination) have cooking instructions included, mercifully. Only...instead of an actual recipe for peach rolls, she's just copied this recipe for vegan brioche, word for word:


And in her rush to steal all her content from other sources and put in zero thought or effort of her own, she forgot that there are no peaches in that stolen recipe and so peaches aren't included anywhere in the cooking instructions. There's just a half-assed note on the ingredient list - 'Sliced peaches (to roll inside)' - but no indication at what point to do that, because she was too damn lazy to amend the instructions.

So the design is borrowed and the recipes incompetently stolen, but surely someone who brags that she JANUINELY reads 1,000s of books a year and loves literature more than anything has a few memorable passages and scenes rattling around her dusty, hollow skull? Especially since she's constantly advertising all the annotation apps she AWLWHEYS YEEZES.



Nah, she just skimmed Goodreads quotes until she found something food-related.

You might think she's at least contributed her own ideas as a starting point, using foods she remembers from her favourite books, right? Or since she loves REEESAAARCHING AND LAAAHRNING so much, she'd grab a favourite book from her shelf and skip to the passages about food?



Nope. She got ChatGPT to think of things for her.



"find some pieces of food writing in the beatrix potter books and list them for me please"



"give me some foods and extracts about these foods which appear in the charles dickens b[...]"

But not to worry, I'm sure for Harry Potter she'll have some quotes memorised or scenes in mind, considering she stole her fake name and her entire fake personality from a character in the books. She should know those books like the back of her grimy hands. And she has the books on her "BOCKSHALVES" to grab and check for the quo--



"find a quote from harry potter about butterbeer"

Oh.



"can you find a quote from a book where[...]"

Oh dear...

I guess it's too hard to come up with her own ideas or find quotes for herself when she only pretends to read books.



She proudly shows off her plagiarised creation and there's no credit anywhere for illustrations, photos, recipes, quotes, etc. If she tries charging money for this, it'll be a shitstorm. And I guess it's a different matter if this is just something she did for fun, but there seems to be zero fun involved, either.

It's not exactly a fun passion project when it's a joylessly and cynically slapped-together pamphlet to which she contributed nothing of her own and which is focused around her completely fake interest in literature. It's just embarrassing on every level.

And what makes it even worse is that she was stupid enough to leave all this footage in, because she thinks time-lapse footage will hide everything in a blur of faux-productive busywork. She's her own worst enemy, and I'm not sure why anyone believes her lies at this point when she shows her hand in every video.
 

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If you're so bored at the age of 23 that you're making a recipe book, copying out poems, or painting over a book cover, then I think it's a sign to get a job.
 
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will she sell the "cook book"?! if yes, let's hope she doesn't get into trouble because of copyrights...

it reminds me of this booklet my mother has. it's from when my brother went to primary school and they had this school function or something and the parents (well, mothers) handed in a handwritten recipe to get copied and used for this booklet. that was in the late 1980s.
when I went to primary school in the early 90s, we did a booklet, too, but we, the students, had to write a piece, something about a day trip etc. I only remember because a friend from primary school found her booklet and sent a photo of my text a few years ago via Facebook.

Ruby could do a zine, they seem to be quite popular on the internet in the art communities.
 
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The irony of Ruby lying about reading a book called JANUINE Genuine Fraud...
 
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Instant flashbacks to the lads from The Inbetweeners on their Geography trip (iykyk)
 
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Her mum sounds totally neurotic. I wonder if she doesn't work or volunteer because of mental health issues. She seems completely overwhelmed unless she's on holidays with BAC over 0.08.
 
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If you're so bored at the age of 23 that you're making a recipe book, copying out poems, or painting over a book cover, then I think it's a sign to get a job.

None of those things alone seem like bad activities. The part that I find odd is that she has absolutely no drive to become independent of her parents. In theory, would it be great to not have to work and still enjoy all the finer things in life? Of course. The issue is that's not our reality. One day, her parents are gonna die, and then what will she do? I'm sure she brings in quite a bit from Youtube and the home she owns and that her parents plan to leave her with quite a few assets, but that's very different from developing a work ethic and knowing how to sustain a household, cooking, cleaning, etc.
 
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You're a goddamn detective. Wait till you catch her using ChatGPT to write her Master's essays for her lol.
 
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The most infuriating thing is that no one in her comment section will notice and nothing will change.

I'm waiting for the day controversy and backlash finally get to her and we get an apology video from her. That will be funny.
 
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@gossip_guy More than ever – great work.

However, like someone before me, I wonder how her fans don't notice what form of – I can think of no other term – fraud she is practising. All the time. Her pamphlet with artless, pointless, childish "writing" is one thing; this cookbook (???), which doesn't even deserve the name, is quite another. It is simply theft. Uncreative, ridiculous theft that illustrates yet again that Ruby doesn't have a single creative bone in her body.

At first, in her chubby-cheeked days, I found her curious and morbidly fascinating; by now she makes me genuinely angry. Not only is she pulling money out of kids' (and their parents') pockets, she herself is already sitting on a pile of cash, completely unjustified, that she can live on without ever having actually worked for it. All she does is play pretend. The extent to which her bizarre childish behaviour has taken on is by now repulsive and shocking to me, not to say pathological.

I can't for the life of me explain why no one ever steps in. How anyone lets this woman in her mid-twenties (!) live like this.
 
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