Ruby Granger #38 Oh Jesus, Ruby's off to Jesus

[yeya]

Why can’t she just say ‘thanks, I didn’t know this’ instead of pretending she knows everything? I think the only time I’ve ever seen her admit to a mistake was on her recent video when she said she should’ve just re-recorded it.

 

[gossip_guy]

"From literature." One of the quotes is from a film review by Roger Ebert, one is from a Guardian interview with musician Niles Roberts and the other is a joke telegram sent to the New York Times by actor/columnist Robert Benchley.

By "some of my favourite quotes about Venice from literature", she means, "I Googled 'quotes about Venice' and couldn't be bothered to double-check who/where they were from". SOCH A PARFACKSHONIST! WHAT A BOCKWARM! THE RESAARCH AND HARD WAAARK SHE POTS INTYOO AVVERYTHING IS ASTRONIMICAL!

 

[laynelo_]

This comment sums the video up nicely

 

[gossip_guy]

 

[yeya]

Ruby, soon-to-be studying 1550-1700 c. literature at Oxford, just posted that Macbeth is set in the 14th century (it’s set in the 11th). Hasn’t she claimed Macbeth is one of her favourite Shakespeare plays? Isn’t she literally going to be spending a good chunk of her master’s studying Shakespeare? She just read an entire book based on Lady Macbeth’s backstory and didn’t even realise what time period the book is set in. Maybe she should be spending her time reading the actual play instead. Someone corrected her in the comments and she’s changed the caption now. I just can’t believe she didn’t take even a second to double-check? Even if I knew with 99% certainty (100% even!) that it was set in a certain time period, I would double-check before posting it to my 200k followers. She really truly believes she knows everything and is never wrong. Unbelievable.

 

[Griftwood]

Never in my life have I witnessed such an informative conversation between two bananas.

 

[Deeznutslol]

Fuck me. 16 minutes wanging on about the problems with the education system in the UK and not a single mention of the current teaching strike, the ongoing chronic shortage of teachers and the blatant disparities in access to education between different regions of the country.
Probably one of the most out of touch videos I’ve seen from her tbh.

 

[gossip_guy]

MUMMY LOOK IM ON MY WAY TYO HYOGWARTS

"YOU AREN'T LOOKING MUMMY! WHY AREN'T YOU LOO--(BONK)"

News Anchor: "Tragedy in Yorkshire today as an elderly child was decapitated while dangling out of a train window. Witnesses say she seemed full of life for someone who appeared to be 87 years old. She is survived by her parents and no siblings whatsoever."

 

[CatCafe234]

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‘OI HAVE HYEARD IT PRONOUNCED BYOTH WAYS’ …

 

[honestuntruth]

If it’s true that she is beginning to learn to drive, that’s such a huge step for her in regards to independence. I live in a remote, rural area like she does and when I got my driving license it literally changed my life.
on the other hand, Ruby on the road is quite a scary thought…

"And of course, I ALWAYS read while driving...."

 

[gossip_guy]

He new '"day" in my life' vlog is less than a minute long and contains no less than 5 different outfits.

Outfit 1 - Thick black jumper under thick white jumper, pale blue skirt.

Outfit 2 - Cat collar-style cardigan, black skirt.

Outfit 3 - Navy blue trousers, blue coat, red checked scarf.

Outfit 4 - Cat collar-style cardigan, black skirt. (Same as Outfit 2.)

Outfit 5 - Thick white jumper over blue leaf dress with blue beret worn like a beanie for some reason.

And she claims this is just the morning/afternoon. Just the most ludicrous and lazy lies.

 

[bananapeel]

Have we already suggested this monstrosity for the next thread title?

Ruby Granger #39 We don't name and remember our skin cells

 

[gossip_guy]

Comprehensive recap of Ruby's latest excruciatingly bad video:

 

[Griftwood]

lolol not her at the end of the video telling everyone to go to Venice before the sea level rises too much B*itch, YOU FLEW THERE. You’re part of the problem.

 

[gossip_guy]

On her blog she also talks about their skiing holiday and apparently Mother Granger didn't go skiing. That was probably a wise choice!

"There I was, slaloming down the snowy mountain like Eddie the Eagle, when suddenly disaster struck...

Unfortunately the thrifty sunglasses I bought weren't sunglassy enough and with my retinas burned by the blinding sunlight of the alps, I managed to lose sight of my path and ski right off a cliff. Just my luck!

After a 600 foot drop, bashing every rock outcropping on the way down - typical! - I finally collided with the ground with a wet splat, lying in a puddle of my own blood and shattered bones. My husband could probably hear my wailing from his comfortable seat in the ski lodge sauna up on top of the mountain.

A few of the locals passed by and I must've looked an embarrassing state, with my skeleton smashed to splinters and my body an irreparable wreck. I gave a knowing shake of the head and a 'what am I like?' eye roll and the friendly locals smiled politely carried on their walk. Such a lovely town!

I would've text my husband or my daughters to let them know I wouldn't be home for dinner, but my limbs had been torn from my body on the crashing tumble down the mountain - not that you can get service overseas anyway!

After several days, my loving husband finally stumbled across my pulverised body and was ready to carry me to the hospital on foot. Such a drama queen! Luckily we'd brought some biscuits with us in our carry-on bag, so he dragged my boneless jellyfish carcass back to the hotel room and after a lovely cup of tea and a nice English biscuit or two, I was good as new. This is the life."

 

[gossip_guy]

She put hyacinths on the cake she made for her family. Yes, she said she would remove them but I have heard that they are one of the flowers to not use at all, even if removing before eating. A quick google showed me the following (from interflora's UK website):

View attachment 2089476

I mean, I'd already be reluctant to eat anything Ruby had cooked in that ebola farm of a kitchen, but if she's garnishing food with flowers that wild animals has pissed on and were also poisonous then there's no limit to how fast I'd toss that shit in the bin.

 

[yeya]

Is this someone here? It feels so delightfully snarky!

 

[DrinaM]

Also, hear me out, THIS OS NOT HOW "POV" WORKS!!!!!!!!! Im triggeredd

Yes. This too. It should actually be 'POV you are Penultimate looking thru my bedroom window as I sit on my new bedsheets with a pile of books'

 

[Deeznutslol]

View attachment 2108841

Why can’t she just say ‘thanks, I didn’t know this’ instead of pretending she knows everything? I think the only time I’ve ever seen her admit to a mistake was on her recent video when she said she should’ve just re-recorded it.

Sorry but this is so funny . If you knew that then why call it a symphony? People like this are so jarring, just say you got it wrong and move on. She needs to take herself a little less seriously, I make silly mistakes all the time and you just have to learn to accept it and have a laugh about it.

 

[gossip_guy]

Good for ruby for getting out of the bedroom but I do wonder why she is actually going to a retreat other than trying to look like a serious writer. Isn't her home basically one? Big house in the middle of the countryside where she can take a lot of walks, the only difference is that her house is messy and that she does her own cooking instead of the meals provided.

I don't see her going to the courses or really interacting with the other writers as she wouldn't want to be with anyone who is better than her.

Also she's already had a holiday recently to apparently help with her writer's block and she's on a retreat. It almost feels like a sign that the writing isn't for her if she's having to take holidays to help her.

Also has anyone seen the tiktok about spending her birthday alone? She pulls a cupcake out of a green suitcase and puts a candle in it and is trying to look reflective and admire the countryside but she looks like a lost child who got abandoned on a picnic.

Yeah, and to put this in perspective even more...

One half of these images is from Ruby's home/back yard, where she has free reign, zero responsibilities and an abundance of free time.

The other half is her on a writing retreat which she paid £500-1000 to go to.

She has no interest in writing, let alone improving as a writer, so she'll get nothing out of it that she wouldn't have had at home.

And, sure enough, she's shared another piece of writing from the trip, and it's yet another of her interchangeable, shoddily-written "JARRNAL ANTRIES" about the weather and foliage:

She got an English degree, went on a writing retreat and is off to Oxford, but still hasn't figured out where full stops go in quotations.