bananapeel
Well-known member
Have we already seen Ruby's "Paradisiacal childhood" pinboard?
- Notice
gossip_guy
VIP Member
At least she's consistent with it; none of her writing ever bears any relation to the physics of reality. It's always shit like:
"I can see my reddened hands in my pockets as the moonlight blinds me through the mist. I can hear the howling wind outside.
I take off my sunglasses as I pour myself a mug of green tea and prepare a sandwich. Emmeline enters the cellar behind me and I see the perfect braids of her golden-viridian hair glinting in the daylight like the stalks of wheat depicted in Van Gogh's painting.
"Rayberline Frobisher, you really do think you're the brightest person here, don't you?" Emmeline sneered.
I pivoted my neck and took off my glasses to meet her gazing eyes.
"I have the same amount of hours in a day as you do, Emmeline," I said, sighfully. "It's not my fault you choose to waste them."
The haze of sunset reflects off my prescription spectacles as the birds chirped joyfully in the distance. The air is still and calm, as it has been all day.
Emmeline huffed and turned to leave the room, practically knocking me over as she stormed past me like a sedate hurricane of anger.
Some people are just jealous, mummy always told me. As I rubbed my eyes to adjust my contact lens and turned to head indoors, I knew she was right."
gossip_guy
VIP Member
The way Ruby does it, absolutely.
She's been outspoken about how much she hates "stoddying" or "wahhrking" in public because she can't focus and everyone's too noisy and inconsiderate. Then she insists on going to loud, crowded coffee shops and cafés to "wahrhhk" and "stoddy", because she thinks it'll look more "asstattic" and she'll look more studious surrounded by the unwashed masses drinking coffee and eating sandwiches. Meanwhile, she avoided the library like the plague, even though it's explicitly there for people to sit around quietly working/studying all day without paying for anything and suited her purposes much better.
She harps on constantly about kindness, consideration and little gestures of generosity. And then she usually takes up an entire table to herself even if it's busy or people around her are struggling for space. She orders either the bare minimum or nothing at all. In the past, she's waved her receipts around and shown off that she ordered the cheapest thing on the menu and nothing else, despite being immensely wealthy. The receipt she waved around during one visit after taking up table to herself for hours during a busy day there was £2.55.
She also did her table-squatting bullshit while maskless during a pandemic. Here's Ruby at Cross Keys in Exeter, where she spent an entire vlog taking up space, seemingly arguing with nearby people and not wearing a mask when the guidelines strongly encouraged wear masks indoors unless eating or drinking. Ruby refused to wear a mask and did not order anything during her entire time there. She spent more time taking photos for her Instagram than doing any actual studying.
This is someone who smarmily preaches about how she AWHWHEYS supports independent businesses, yet she's quite content to not pay them while using their amenities. Cafés are reliant on paying customer traffic to stay open. If you're going to take up a table for hours, then at least buy something, even if it's just a drink top-up after you've been there a while. Ruby won't, because she's just an entitled little parasite.
Omg she did not say out loud that she took a spontaneous trip to Venice (one of the most expensive cities you can visit) because she has wriqter's block. This is the "buying a cottage to face her fears of being home alone" thing all over again.
Ruby, this is what people talk about when they say you're privileged, not the fact that you have parents or you went to school.
ETA: just watched the vlog and she misspelled, without fail, every single Italian word she showed on screen. Great job Ruby
Ruby, this is what people talk about when they say you're privileged, not the fact that you have parents or you went to school.
ETA: just watched the vlog and she misspelled, without fail, every single Italian word she showed on screen. Great job Ruby
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SharyBobbins
Active member
That looks... unsettling to me. The photos with children make it moreso. I feel sorry for Ruby that she can't let go of childhood. Sometimes I'd like to go back to being a child, mainly because people I loved were still alive, and I miss them. But life's a journey and it carries you along, it isn't possible to go back. I wonder what happened to make her so afraid of growing up.
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Her desperate-to-impress fake planner entries only get funnier.
She's going to really just throw herself into her job...just as long as that doesn't require showing up for more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week (or at all, considering she likely quit months ago) and doesn't interfere with all the time off she needs to take to go on a new holiday every month.
Ruby claiming she's going to finally devote some effort to her part-time nepo job mere weeks before she's due to finish is giving the same energy as that time in her final year of uni when she announced she was going to immerse herself in university culture...and then stayed in her bedroom at home for the remainder of the year.
Ruby, you haven't been bothered to put any amount of effort into your content or attempt to improve in any way in the 7+ years you've been doing YouTube. Let's not pretend that anyone's going to believe you're magically going to start now.
She apparently has no idea what purchases she'd need to make in order to improve her video quality, even though this would be almost self-explanatory, especially for someone who makes their living at this and who keeps saying she's DEEPLY PASSIONATE ABOUT REESAAARCHING AVVERYTHING.
This lazy-ass, rehashed mess of a video certainly isn't the start of a new chapter in her content-creating career.
It's yet another video we've seen before, full of the same lies which are intended to make her seem astonishingly productive and indescribably well-organised, when in reality she just makes up a bunch of shit that makes her look like a disorganised, time-wasting moron.
She plugs PONKER PODDTIBBITY even though she's proven that she never uses this planner outside of ad posts and videos.
She plugs Notion yet again, conveniently neglecting to mention the times they've sponsored her before.
She proudly announces that she uses four different planning systems that all serve the same purpose. She doesn't see the stupidity in wasting time and energy doing the same thing in 4 different places when three of them are redundant and you have nothing going on in your life so you didn't need to plan anything to begin with.
She predictably tries to legitimise her astonishing stupidity and timewasting busywork by parroting misremembered quotes by historical figures.
"CHEESING SOMETHING IS MOCH HARDER WHAN WEE'VE GYOT LYOADS AND LYOADS OF CHOICE."
"Oiy AWHLWHEYS visualoize WARLD PEACE. Oiy'm josst SYOO VARRY KOIND AND THWORTFOL. JANUINELY!"
The only reason that Ruby visualising world peace isn't the most preposterously fictional bullshit entry on this list is because she also claimed she tidies her room.
She's going to really just throw herself into her job...just as long as that doesn't require showing up for more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week (or at all, considering she likely quit months ago) and doesn't interfere with all the time off she needs to take to go on a new holiday every month.
Ruby claiming she's going to finally devote some effort to her part-time nepo job mere weeks before she's due to finish is giving the same energy as that time in her final year of uni when she announced she was going to immerse herself in university culture...and then stayed in her bedroom at home for the remainder of the year.
Ruby, you haven't been bothered to put any amount of effort into your content or attempt to improve in any way in the 7+ years you've been doing YouTube. Let's not pretend that anyone's going to believe you're magically going to start now.
She apparently has no idea what purchases she'd need to make in order to improve her video quality, even though this would be almost self-explanatory, especially for someone who makes their living at this and who keeps saying she's DEEPLY PASSIONATE ABOUT REESAAARCHING AVVERYTHING.
This lazy-ass, rehashed mess of a video certainly isn't the start of a new chapter in her content-creating career.
It's yet another video we've seen before, full of the same lies which are intended to make her seem astonishingly productive and indescribably well-organised, when in reality she just makes up a bunch of shit that makes her look like a disorganised, time-wasting moron.
She plugs PONKER PODDTIBBITY even though she's proven that she never uses this planner outside of ad posts and videos.
She plugs Notion yet again, conveniently neglecting to mention the times they've sponsored her before.
She proudly announces that she uses four different planning systems that all serve the same purpose. She doesn't see the stupidity in wasting time and energy doing the same thing in 4 different places when three of them are redundant and you have nothing going on in your life so you didn't need to plan anything to begin with.
She predictably tries to legitimise her astonishing stupidity and timewasting busywork by parroting misremembered quotes by historical figures.
"CHEESING SOMETHING IS MOCH HARDER WHAN WEE'VE GYOT LYOADS AND LYOADS OF CHOICE."
"Oiy AWHLWHEYS visualoize WARLD PEACE. Oiy'm josst SYOO VARRY KOIND AND THWORTFOL. JANUINELY!"
The only reason that Ruby visualising world peace isn't the most preposterously fictional bullshit entry on this list is because she also claimed she tidies her room.
Daredevil
Active member
Tomato Soup
A tomato soup smell arises from his armpits. I inhale. It’s oddly nice. I feel comforted; soothed. As I snuggle up inside the nook of his folded arm, I breathe deeper. I am at home. I could die right now, I think and I would die happy. I wish I could save this moment in time and not move...
gossip_guy
VIP Member
Speaking of Mummy Bones...
www.whatapalaver.co
"My Mum and I had been happily gardening all afternoon in our shared vegetable plot, weeding, raking, hoeing and breaking up the soil. The sun had been shining down on us and the sky was the bluest it had been all year, with the birdsong at full pelt. We were feeling high on life, plus making good ground work and excited to start actually sowing seeds into the blank canvas, which was our carefully prepared soil, when it happened... I trod into an uneven plot hole, twisted my ankle and heard it crack, as I fell over the raised bed and onto a mound of nettles."
Tall tales of disaster and injury in practically every blog entry. It's beyond parody at this point.
"It is weird how everything can change in a split second."
You sprained your ankle, nobody fucking died. Good lord.
I'm also loving the fact that in this story, Ruby seems to have half-heartedly made an unsuccessful attempt to find some crutches, then just gave up and left her allegedly injured mum outside lying in a nettle bed for an indeterminate time until some time later when Daddy Bones finally dragged her accident-prone ass indoors. And after that, everyone including the dog was looking after her, but Ruby's nowhere to be found.
Plot Twist
My Mum and I had been happily gardening all afternoon in our shared vegetable plot, weeding, raking, hoeing and breaking up the soil. The sun had been shining down on us and the sky was the bluest it had been all year, with the birdsong at full pelt. We were feeling high on life, plus making...
"My Mum and I had been happily gardening all afternoon in our shared vegetable plot, weeding, raking, hoeing and breaking up the soil. The sun had been shining down on us and the sky was the bluest it had been all year, with the birdsong at full pelt. We were feeling high on life, plus making good ground work and excited to start actually sowing seeds into the blank canvas, which was our carefully prepared soil, when it happened... I trod into an uneven plot hole, twisted my ankle and heard it crack, as I fell over the raised bed and onto a mound of nettles."
Tall tales of disaster and injury in practically every blog entry. It's beyond parody at this point.
"It is weird how everything can change in a split second."
You sprained your ankle, nobody fucking died. Good lord.
I'm also loving the fact that in this story, Ruby seems to have half-heartedly made an unsuccessful attempt to find some crutches, then just gave up and left her allegedly injured mum outside lying in a nettle bed for an indeterminate time until some time later when Daddy Bones finally dragged her accident-prone ass indoors. And after that, everyone including the dog was looking after her, but Ruby's nowhere to be found.
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Griftwood
VIP Member
Oh god, her writing is such utter crap
"Lengthening afternoon" - an afternoon is the time from 12 to 5 or 6, it doesn't vary. "The beauty of space" - space is literally nothing and you can't see it, idiot. "Wooden stepping stones"? The "wood is peeling" on the gate - how? I've heard of paint peeling. What is "unconnected" space?So many words and none of them amount to any meaning.
Thread title suggestion: "Ruby Granger #39 Just me and the geese"
I don't see any anything wrong with doing this, it's just that Ruby doesn't actually care and just wants to look intelligent.Imagine learning Latin just for the fun of it
lmwfh17
Active member
her dedication to consistently getting the most basic facts about authors wrong is amazing. “sylvia plath had post natal depression” - quite literally everyone knows that she suffered with depression long before she ever met ted hughes or had children.
I had to rewind like three times to make sure I was hearing right, but when talking about metamorphosis she actually says FRANK kafka. congratulations oxford, you picked a good one
I had to rewind like three times to make sure I was hearing right, but when talking about metamorphosis she actually says FRANK kafka. congratulations oxford, you picked a good one
Griftwood
VIP Member
40 minutes is the time it takes for Mummy Bones to have a cheeky little prosecco in a nice cafe nearby so she can brace herself for another afternoon of chaperoning Roobee while she prances around Venice pretending not to be a tourist like all the other girls
ExposedMattress
Member
Ruby loves wroiyting
Griftwood
VIP Member
New thread, thanks to @LostGhosts for the title - the first in what we can safely anticipate to be a year-long string of brilliant Jesus-themed thread titles, because if you didn’t know, Little Miss Rootabaga finally got her lifelong wish and somehow wangled her way into a Master’s course in Oxford. The news broke on Tattle first, of course - she actually managed to sit on it for several weeks before being forced to announce it because people were asking her about it. General consensus is she was greatly aided in her project by the fact that there was no interview for her to make a fool of herself at.
She’ll be studying Early Modern literature (Victoria who? We don’t know her) and is busy reading children’s books and writing her 4th or 5th attempt at a publishable novel, because actually preparing for your course is for amateurs and not girl geniuses like Ruby.
She’ll be studying Early Modern literature (Victoria who? We don’t know her) and is busy reading children’s books and writing her 4th or 5th attempt at a publishable novel, because actually preparing for your course is for amateurs and not girl geniuses like Ruby.
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Griftwood
VIP Member
It’s really, really not. I’m sure she thinks she’s nailing comic exaggeration, but I’m thinking there’s more than a grain of truth in it.
also petition to make ”Jesus College Christ” the official swear of this thread
