Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

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This is psychotic.
 
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and her parents: they want to spend a romantic evening in the garden and suddenly there is Ruby sitting in the darkness by a candle in the drug shed. with a book, wearing a Victorian nightgown
Seriously, their gardens/ house would make an excellent film set for a horror movie. Ruby could easily be cast as the precocious girl ghost with slanted candlestick in a holder.
 
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This is psychotic.
It really is. I've got my teenaged cousins staying with me at the moment (16 and 18 years old lads). I showed them some of the quotes that have been shared from Ruby's book. They have been reciting them in their best Patrick Bateman impersonations. They especially worked on:
"Beth holds her hands over my eyes and I can smell chocolate on them. I wonder when she last washed them and fight against my gag reflex"
I was laughing SO much, but really...every single quote that has been shared is absolutely bizarre, psychotic and downright scary.
 
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Erimentha Parker Chapter 18:

Plot -
- Ruby goes to class for afternoon registration and finds someone has gone into her satchel and thrown everything everywhere. She finds most of her stuff apart from her stationary and spare pencil case
- Even though she has spare stationary, she has now lost her favourite pastel highlighters so she asks mum if they can go stationary shopping on Saturday and writes a list of things to bring on a shopping trip. Her list includes a purse, a book, her receipt book, a lip balm, an umbrella, suncream, hand sanitiser, hand cream, a canvas bag, post it notes, a pen and her book of reminders.
- Despite being one week after they had an outside BBQ it is now incredibly cold. Ruby wears a midnight blue velvet skirt, white cable-knit jumper and brown boots as well as a beige duffle coat and a scarf, but even that isn't enough to stay warm. Turns out it is 4 degrees which isn't even that bad.
- Ruby finds a starry pencil case in paperchase and asks her mum if they can make a star map. Mum says she wont be able to help but she will buy Ruby some black paper to make one
- When Ruby comes back from getting the paper, an old lady is talking to mum saying "I just wanted to commend you for the raising of such a well-behaved and charming daughter". She goes on to sat most children only care about phones and technology so Ruby is extra special
- They visit every stationary shop in the mall and presumably drain mums bank account. And then find a quant deli for coffee
- The cafe has mini jam pots for their cream teas and Ruby wants some to use as candle holders. So she asks if she can have some without paying, and after speaking to a supervisor they give her 7. Mum and Ruby then buy beeswax and wicks so they can make candles
- In the afternoon mum and Ruby make candles and then Ruby lights them all in a circle round her in the evening when she is reading her book. Maybe for cozy vibes, or maybe to summon a demon.

Quotes -
- "When I was a lot younger, mum bought us matching yellow dresses for church and I delighted at the sense of order that it brought - I wanted us to wear them everyday and I was terribly dismayed when I eventually outgrew it. I believe that mum kept hers but she doesn't wear it anymore, feeling guilty that she, unlike me, still has access to that much loved dress
- "I have to hold my chest with both hands to prevent the icy chill from spreading too far"
- "But the colours of autumn are just so beautiful - when October arrives, it is as though a homemade quilt has been laid across the countryside for hibernating animals"
- "Mum orders a black coffee and I get a hot chocolate. Knowing that it will otherwise scald my tongue, I ask for it to be topped up with cold water and, sure enough, I take my first sip without any damage to my taste buds. Mum is not quite so lucky"
- "I have made a cocoon on the patio bench, snuggled up under such a multitude of blankets and cushions that I cannot feel the cool September air"
- "I am wearing gloves which makes it difficult to turn the pages of my book and I eventually take them off, frustrated"
- "Protected by this circle of lights, an arabesque against the cold, the girls at Lady Nightingale's cannot hurt me"
 
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Mum orders a black coffee and I get a hot chocolate. Knowing that it will otherwise scald my tongue, I ask for it to be topped up with cold water
This is the most insane thing I've ever heard. Is she actually an alien?
 
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Mmm delicious, tepid chocolate!

Her mother is a fucking imbecile for not thinking of this genius and simple method of protecting your taste buds against hot beverages. Erimentha should prepare a presentation about it.
 
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I don't usually write in here, I am more of the lurker type (also sorry for any mistakes, I am not an english native speaker). I was watching Ruby's latest video (the one with the new desk) and I actually enjoyed the very begginging.

Even though she is not passionate about "academia" per se, but more for the performative aspect of it, it was actually pretty nice seeing her happy about the desk and the organisation part of it. What got me to write here was the striking difference in her voice from 09:22, it suddenly goes high pitch. Is it just me or is it actually weird in that particular part?
 
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she pitches/speeds up for voice for some reason. I guess to sound more childlike.
 
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Sorry but that pizza looks so dead… it’s just a base with tomato? I understand she is a vegan and people can like whatever they like, but I cannot imagine ordering a pizza with no cheese and then not adding some other toppings like peppers, mushrooms, onions etc.
 
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Maybe it's just me but all that collation of pens, stickers etc seems very teenager. Admittedly I used to love stationary when I was 12 or 13 but after that not so much and by 22/23 definitely not. By 22/23 any pen that worked generally did me. Also why is it I feel that if you opened up Rube's head you'd find all her ideas ordered in rigid little drawers.
 
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"I AWHLWHEYS keep something I can turn into an undeclared ad on me, even on holiday! "
 
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Where is this?
 
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Sorry but that pizza looks so dead…
Omg came here to say this (with my own ss too!)
Anyways sorry @Ilaariaa And rest of Italians if this is offensive but it looks like you order pizza online and uncheck every ingridient so you end up with a blank base of a pizza.
 
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It looks like she ordered a marinara which is just tomato sauce, garlic and oregano. It's a classic and it's present in every menu (I think mainly because it was a cheap option way back in the day), but it's not really anybody's go-to pizza because it's quite sad lol. I think the last time I had a marinara was in like 2012 lmao
You might order it if you aren't hungry, if you have an upset stomach, or if you have allergies/dietary restrictions, although most vegans would probably get some kind of vegetable topping (super common and readily available at any pizzeria) and ask for no cheese.
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Other than the choice of topping, as far as pizza goes that looks pretty sad. It looks like the kind of pizza you get as takeaway at the cheap kebab shop on the street corner for 5 euros including beverage (as a student I've had my fair share of those lol).
If she's in Milan, there are tons of trendy and good quality pizzerie that also do takeaway and delivery and they're usually not crazy expensive.
 
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She's shown that she'll happily drop veganism like a flaming bag of shit when she wants a Five Guys burger or honey or a leather bag or wool socks and god knows what else. She likely rarely stays vegan off-camera, so I doubt having it cheese free with nothing on it was a veganism thing for her.

The cynic in me says it's probably an ED thing for her, like "If I have to get pizza with family, I'll get the pizza with the absolute least amount of food possible on it."
 
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The cynic in me says it's probably an ED thing for her, like "If I have to get pizza with family, I'll get the pizza with the absolute least amount of food possible on it."
Or 'im a little child so I don't have toppings on my pizza like the adults in my family. I get the kids pizza, which is just a bit of sauce on a base'
 
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This whole "job" was more like a joke. I remember that when I still believed I could make my career in art, I asked my old primary school director if I could show my paintings and illuminations at the school and they accepted but now I think about it, it's a small school, everyone knows each other in this damn village and I was one of the good students. So it was like a free activity for them to offer to the kids and parents who came. It was two weeks before the summer holidays, I basically explained them what we were doing in art school, made a small demonstration and it was done.

I think Ruby's job was just the same but for english. It's not something I put in my resume now but it was fun to do and the kids liked it.
 
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Wait what??? When was she scranning a five guys burger ?! I can understand accidentally having something which contains honey, but baiting herself out eating actual meat is crazy.
 
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