Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[gossip_guy]

And the whole family seemed to be doing better too. They threw parties, they had a houseful of guests, normal stuff. Now it just seems so bleak. I wonder what it's really like in that family. Is Ruby's unwellness casting a pall on the family or has a dysfunctional family contributed to Ruby's poor mental health?

I definitely get the impression that Ruby's had a big hand in bleeping up that family and her parents have screwed both their kids up by mollycoddling Ruby and spoiling her rotten all of her life.

She spent all her teen years and university life throwing tantrums if her parents didn't show her attention. She made her parents drive across the country and back every weekend to collect her from uni and drop her off again and bitched and moaned if they were a minute late (even if she wasn't ready herself). She was sending mummy endless letters and making her send her pointless care packages to enable Ruby's childish boarding school fantasies. She had her parents taking all their holidays in Devon so they were near her while she was at uni (and naturally made them come pick her up to join them so they never had time alone).

All the while Mummy Bones has been writing bad poetry about marital rifts. Ruby's mentioned her dad sleeping on a pull-out cot outside in the summer. Martha's mentioned that she's often excluded from/forgotten about when family events/holidays are arranged and Ruby sneakily tried to exclude Martha from attending her graduation. Martha usually does thoughtful things for birthdays/Christmas and in return Ruby gives her thoughtless, low-effort crap. Martha also chose to move to Brighton rather than be anywhere near her family, which doesn't seem like a coincidence.

Maybe that is all a coincidence and maybe their family would be just as much of a mess if Ruby weren't there, but I feel like never being able to spend a second alone with your spouse because of the spoilt, attention-seeking overgrown baby sucking all the life out of the house and treating you like an on-call chauffeur/camera operator isn't going to help a marriage. And always treating a child like an afterthought and neglecting them in favour of a self-absorbed, tantrum-throwing older sibling isn't exactly a recipe for a tight-knit family relationship, either.

 

[DanBanks]

I definitely get the impression that Ruby's had a big hand in bleeping up that family and her parents have screwed both their kids up by mollycoddling Ruby and spoiling her rotten all of her life.

She spent all her teen years and university life throwing tantrums if her parents didn't show her attention. She made her parents drive across the country and back every weekend to collect her from uni and drop her off again and bitched and moaned if they were a minute late (even if she wasn't ready herself). She was sending mummy endless letters and making her send her pointless care packages to enable Ruby's childish boarding school fantasies. She had her parents taking all their holidays in Devon so they were near her while she was at uni (and naturally made them come pick her up to join them so they never had time alone).

All the while Mummy Bones has been writing bad poetry about marital rifts. Ruby's mentioned her dad sleeping on a pull-out cot outside in the summer. Martha's mentioned that she's often excluded from/forgotten about when family events/holidays are arranged and Ruby sneakily tried to exclude Martha from attending her graduation. Martha usually does thoughtful things for birthdays/Christmas and in return Ruby gives her thoughtless, low-effort crap. Martha also chose to move to Brighton rather than be anywhere near her family, which doesn't seem like a coincidence.

Maybe that is all a coincidence and maybe their family would be just as much of a mess if Ruby weren't there, but I feel like never being able to spend a second alone with your spouse because of the spoilt, attention-seeking overgrown baby sucking all the life out of the house and treating you like an on-call chauffeur/camera operator isn't going to help a marriage. And always treating a child like an afterthought and neglecting them in favour of a self-absorbed, tantrum-throwing older sibling isn't exactly a recipe for a tight-knit family relationship, either.

Okay, so do you think Ruby's actually mentally ill? Because being spoiled is not a mental illness. Neither is being demanding, entitled, or selfish. These are just negative personality traits that a person who isn't mentally ill could change if they ever had to. But I think there's more going on with Ruby than just a rotten character. I don't think she's capable of changing, no matter what the situation.

I suspect Ruby's had some sort of psychological dysfunction her whole life and has never gotten the treatment she needed because her parents are careless. And lazy. Ruby was a proper little student and so they didn't bother to pay attention to whether she was growing into a sound person. It was easier to keep coddling her than to address the question of why she needed so much coddling in the first place. Now they're stuck with her, and she sure isn't getting any better.

 

[gossip_guy]

Okay, so do you think Ruby's actually mentally ill? Because being spoiled is not a mental illness. Neither is being demanding, entitled, or selfish. These are just negative personality traits that a person who isn't mentally ill could change if they ever had to. But I think there's more going on with Ruby than just a rotten character. I don't think she's capable of changing, no matter what the situation.

I suspect Ruby's had some sort of psychological dysfunction her whole life and has never gotten the treatment she needed because her parents are careless. And lazy. Ruby was a proper little student and so they didn't bother to pay attention to whether she was growing into a sound person. It was easier to keep coddling her than to address the question of why she needed so much coddling in the first place. Now they're stuck with her, and she sure isn't getting any better.

There's definitely ample reason for her to get off the internet and seek professional help and she's a couple of years late doing it. She has a blatant eating disorder and her childhood fixation is the farthest thing from normal. But personally I think whatever mental issues she has are all rooted in her being woefully unprepared to cope with being an adult and being unable to fathom a world where she's not a gifted child prodigy with infinite talent. I really do think she's ultimately just a spoilt little mole whose deep-seated problems stem from never being told no and never being prepared for reality.

I don't think it's a coincidence that her steep drop off the deep end came just as she was coming up to her final year of uni and her influencer career started to dwindle. I think it's pretty telling that she started starving herself to look smaller, dressing in child's clothes, replacing all her furniture with children-sized bed and tables and putting shrines to famous 12-year-olds on her walls, all just as graduation appeared on the not-too-distant horizon.

If she hadn't had a lifetime of her parents telling her she was the most special little genius or paying for unqualified private teachers to tell her the same, she might be more prepared for the reality that she's a below average person whose life has been propped up by excessive wealth and privilege. If she'd made the most of uni and got out of her safe little childhood cocoon and tiny, insular social circle, she might've met more people who challenged her, gained more experience, learned that she had a ceiling and been more prepared for adulthood. This year she's had a big taste of rejection and reality and clearly isn't prepared for it.

The trouble is, she's been to a therapist before and treated it like a short-term quick fix to tick off on a to-do list. Given how much of a compulsive liar she is and how much she's embellished or fabricated mental health issues and trauma before, I doubt she'd be open and honest and engage with therapy properly. I can't recall if she said she'd pursued therapy herself, so it might've been something her parents recommended and encouraged. But she doesn't seem to want help, so there's only so much her parents can do at this point.

Hopefully she ditches the declining influencer career and gets some professional help at some point, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for her. She's actively gone out of her way to try to pass her damaging habits onto her audience despite being asked to stop time and time again. She has easy access to private healthcare, that's a luxury a lot of people much more needy and deserving don't get, but she still doesn't want to bother.

 

[laynelo_]

Whatever mental health issues Ruby has, they are her own responsibility at the end of the day as an adult. Her parents can only help so much. I think people assume if you are mentally ill that you want to automatically get better and seek help yet as crazy as it seems, a person can get a lot of comfort from dwelling in their own problems. Some people even don’t want help just to see ‘how bad things can get’. I know for me when I was heavily depressed, a part of me didn’t want to get help because being in my own little bubble was actually easier than dealing with the problem at hand. The difference is with Ruby with this mindset however is that she isn’t doing this herself, she’s actively promoting it as a good thing (over working yourself, isolating yourself) to a large audience of mainly impressionable young people who look up to her.

I don’t think de-platforming her will help, and it leads to a slippery slope of hiding people who do struggle with their mental health or just in general. But I think a bit of self awareness would go a long way for Ruby’s channel. Acknowledging that her need for constant stimulation and productivity possibly stems from an unhealthy place and that her desire to be ‘unique’ borders on ridiculous. Her young fans should be reminded by her that productivity fluctuates greatly throughout a span of someone’s life and ironically don’t be shamed if you don’t have very niche interests and if you do actually enjoy to follow trends, that’s just human nature to want to fit in with others. Unsurprisingly I don’t think we’ll ever get an honest discussion from Ruby.

 

[Deeznutslol]

I agree with a lot of the points raised here. In terms of mental illness, we’ve all definitely seen evidence of an ED with Ruby, however I think that’s the extent of it and I don’t really see anything else going on there.
I think most of her neurotic behaviours do just stem from her personality and are being exacerbated by the environment she is currently in. If she is rejected again from Oxford, we can expect that things will go rapidly downhill for her because it’s clear that she absolutely flounders and has no clue what to do with herself when she isn’t in education.

 

[joonielovers]

looking at her videos pre-covid/lockdown they seemed to be a bit more ~normal~. like someone mentioned previously on here how they used to throw parties etc.. i wonder if the lockdown affected their mental health, especially ruby’s

 

[laynelo_]

looking at her videos pre-covid/lockdown they seemed to be a bit more ~normal~. like someone mentioned previously on here how they used to throw parties etc.. i wonder if the lockdown affected their mental health, especially ruby’s

I think the lockdown played a massive part in her age regression, she actually seemed more normal and progressing into a functioning adult in her first year of philosophy and first year of English.

 

[Open-door]

Okay, so do you think Ruby's actually mentally ill? Because being spoiled is not a mental illness. Neither is being demanding, entitled, or selfish. These are just negative personality traits that a person who isn't mentally ill could change if they ever had to. But I think there's more going on with Ruby than just a rotten character. I don't think she's capable of changing, no matter what the situation.

I suspect Ruby's had some sort of psychological dysfunction her whole life and has never gotten the treatment she needed because her parents are careless. And lazy. Ruby was a proper little student and so they didn't bother to pay attention to whether she was growing into a sound person. It was easier to keep coddling her than to address the question of why she needed so much coddling in the first place. Now they're stuck with her, and she sure isn't getting any better.

She is definitely underweight and has some physical signs of malnourishment, and what she posts suggests disordered eating and an obsession with food. Whether she has an eating disorder to diagnostic levels of mental illness is impossible for us to say but it looks like it.

 

[gisellejoly]

She is definitely underweight and has some physical signs of malnourishment, and what she posts suggests disordered eating and an obsession with food. Whether she has an eating disorder to diagnostic levels of mental illness is impossible for us to say but it looks like it.

She is thin and petite but it’s debatable whether or not she is actually underweight. Personally I’ve never thought she looks clinically underweight. She has bad eating habits and a food obsession but these may be related to wider obsessive behaviours rather than specifically anorexia.

I suspect Ruby's had some sort of psychological dysfunction her whole life and has never gotten the treatment she needed because her parents are careless. And lazy. Ruby was a proper little student and so they didn't bother to pay attention to whether she was growing into a sound person. It was easier to keep coddling her than to address the question of why she needed so much coddling in the first place. Now they're stuck with her, and she sure isn't getting any better.

I think Ruby has some ADHD traits (not saying she has the actual condition, sometimes traits just emerge due to never developing real productivity skills). She was probably clever enough to coast along doing busywork during childhood without dealing with it but as uni work got harder it became too much for her to bare. She is a massive procrastinator, and uses busywork and silly tasks to delude herself into believing she’s working hard. She also has no attention span, she desperately wants to be a bookworm but can’t finish complex books and struggles to get through movies. She also has obsessive tendencies and this includes her social media addiction. It’s a stressful way to live. On top of this she has anxiety which has led her to socially regress. She might not have any real diagnosable “mental illness” or condition per se but just a lack of coping skills which she’s never tried to combat.

 

[Griftwood]

Just a gentle reminder that you can have an eating disorder (yes, even anorexia) without being underweight. I think the real issue with Ruby is that she constantly body-checks on camera, shows tiny portions of food, drinks copious amounts of tea and water, and numerous other unhealthy habits that she’s no doubt gleaned from one of the many anorexia-related books she’s shown herself reading on camera numerous times. She’s been called out for all these things and changed nothing.

 

[Whisper2Me]

There is a horrible misconception that you have to be skinny to be considered as having an eating disorder. Eating disorder is exactly that. You have a warped, unrealistic relationship with food. It leads to self harm, one way or another, and there are a lot of ways this can play out. Obsession with drink and preparing food is also a sign. There just is so much on the internet about the actual term and what it entails. Please be informed on this subject. Ruby's behaviour over the past several years fits it to a T.

I also agree that she has a mental illness beyond this and that it has been allowed to slide. First seen as "cute" or "she is testing us", then "she is highly intelligent or gifted". These are the thoughts and excuses of parents, while siblings are on the sideline, left out and getting a more realistic picture of what is going on. I feel so bad for her sister. She barely seems to be in the picture. Good for you, Martha, if you are reading this. You don't have to play this game anymore. Strike out on your own and live a healthy, happy life. I wish her well. Ruby needs intense therapy. Signs in her young childhood? Her admitting she took her favourite toy and constantly dragged it against the floor, rubbing the eyes until they were all scratched up. This is not normal behaviour as to how you treat a favourite stuffed animal. You cuddle them, kiss them, tuck them in bed, sit them up on chairs. You don't violently rub their eyes out! I know this sounds trivial, but it is a sign; I am certain one of many that her family witnessed, wondered and didn't deal with. Accusing people as being bullies. I have a feeling they never were. They were just aware she was different and reacted naturally. Her parents chose to spoil her in order to cover up the fact that she has problems that need to be addressed. I mentioned this once before, because it is all too common. You can get away with things when you are a child or teen, but when you become an adult odd behaviour sticks out like a sore thumb and people begin to question it. You can't hide it. You can't cover it up anymore. No one wants to deal with your problems in a workplace. You are in a worse place because therapy has been delayed. They often end up as pedophiles, drug addicts, alcoholics, violent and unstable, just labelled eccentric, loners to the extreme (not talking about introverts, but real odd loners) when really it is quite serious. So yes, the best thing would be for her to forget a Masters, forget Social Media for good, and get herself into therapy as her main focus for as many years as it takes so she has the chance of becoming a whole and healthy person, though sadly in many ways that is probably never going to happen. The more common tendency is to avoid the situation, pretend it doesn't even exist and slide down that rabbit hole with each passing day. I do not see a bright future for her.

 

[Deeznutslol]

Her admitting she took her favourite toy and constantly dragged it against the floor, rubbing the eyes until they were all scratched up. This is not normal behaviour as to how you treat a favourite stuffed animal.

Wtf do you remember when she said this or which video it was in ?

 

[DanBanks]

Signs in her young childhood? Her admitting she took her favourite toy and constantly dragged it against the floor, rubbing the eyes until they were all scratched up. This is not normal behaviour as to how you treat a favourite stuffed animal. You cuddle them, kiss them, tuck them in bed, sit them up on chairs. You don't violently rub their eyes out!

I haven't seen the video in question (please post it if you've got it!), but it sounds to me like what she was saying was that she just carried that toy everywhere until it got all beat up. This is not odd behavior for a young child, especially with their favorite toys, and most small children are so klutzy and careless that even cuddling, kissing, and tucking their toys into bed can make them look pretty rough after a while. I still recall my first teddy bear who, honestly, looked like the victim of a serial killer (and was indeed missing an eye).

Now, if Ruby said that she deliberately scratched its eyes out, that will be a different thing altogether. But one of my pet peeves with this forum is when people take something commonplace (like being rough on toys, or having a favorite Christmas movie) and try to make it sound sinister or abnormal just because Ruby's doing it. She does enough genuinely strange things on her own without us having to make them up!

Spoiler: OT, TW Child Abuse

Also, I'm sorry, but can you please not bring pedophilia into this discussion? It's quite a leap to suggest that an odd, spoiled child will become a pedophile as an adult. That's a bit over the top.

 

[theMoth]

I sometimes wonder how Martha is doing

 

[Larancia]

When someone in this thread talks about mental illness, i think they talk about their suspicion, potential signs and their observation. Of course no one here can make a diagnosis unless they are Ruby's doctor/therapist.

I think we can have a healthier discussion if we can keep this in mind. Because i feel like we have been repeating the same discussion thread after thread. Her past and current problematic behaviors have been explained here many times by gossip_guy and many others. If you havent noticed those signs, do not defend, ask about it! Ppl in this thread very kindly remind us when asked.

Lets keep this thread a healthy space, because this is the only safe space I have rn in my life

 

[Whisper2Me]

Wtf do you remember when she said this or which video it was in ?

Twice she mentioned it in detail. Once in a video titled "I got my lost toy back" around 3 years ago about how her parent's gave her back a returned beloved toy and all the drama behind it. Again, more recently....can't remember which one, where she refers back to the whole incident. She has mentioned it multiple times, as it is from her childhood and, of course, that was the best time of her life, in spite of being bullied. lol. Please don't ask me to go back and find the exact ones. I can't rewatch her boring videos!
---

I haven't seen the video in question (please post it if you've got it!), but it sounds to me like what she was saying was that she just carried that toy everywhere until it got all beat up. This is not odd behavior for a young child, especially with their favorite toys, and most small children are so klutzy and careless that even cuddling, kissing, and tucking their toys into bed can make them look pretty rough after a while. I still recall my first teddy bear who, honestly, looked like the victim of a serial killer (and was indeed missing an eye).

Now, if Ruby said that she deliberately scratched its eyes out, that will be a different thing altogether. But one of my pet peeves with this forum is when people take something commonplace (like being rough on toys, or having a favorite Christmas movie) and try to make it sound sinister or abnormal just because Ruby's doing it. She does enough genuinely strange things on her own without us having to make them up!

Spoiler: OT, TW Child Abuse

Also, I'm sorry, but can you please not bring pedophilia into this discussion? It's quite a leap to suggest that an odd, spoiled child will become a pedophile as an adult. That's a bit over the top.

No, she did it deliberately and admitted to it. Watch the video. In her own words.

 

[Griftwood]

Oh god, we have a new video. That horrid ”collar” she made earlier, burning candles outdoors, writing a poem and burning it, rubbing the ashes onto a piece of paper? It’s all CREATIVITY. Disclaimers galore about ”I know I’m not very good at this” when we all know she’s putting it out there with the full expectation of being praised by her brainless little minions for being syo, syo artistic

Sure, she’s new to sewing, but aren’t there like a million free tutorials on yoochoob on how to do it even halfway correctly? Or is she angling for a Skillshare sponsorship? There’s no such thing as being embarrassed by your own utter ineptitude when you’re a youtuber out to make a buck, I guess.

edit: What I’m trying to say about the sewing is this: when I first started knitting, I didn’t have access to youtube tutorials. I taught myself the very basics out of an old book and winged it for the rest. Consequently, everything I turned out in those first years was crap. (Hell, I’m working on a sweater as we speak that I can tell is going to be utter crap because my tension is all over the place, so I’ve already chalked it up to ”practice makes perfect less sucky”, but I’m going to finish it anyway.) But I had some self-awareness and certainly didn’t post it on social media for everyone to see. Roobee has access to tutorials and classes, anything she wants. There’s no excuse. Her issue is, she thinks the sun shines out her backside and she’s due praise no matter what she does.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Is she... is she sitting outside, in the dark, in candlelight?

 

[emmer_moans]

I definitely get the impression that Ruby's had a big hand in bleeping up that family and her parents have screwed both their kids up by mollycoddling Ruby and spoiling her rotten all of her life.

She spent all her teen years and university life throwing tantrums if her parents didn't show her attention. She made her parents drive across the country and back every weekend to collect her from uni and drop her off again and bitched and moaned if they were a minute late (even if she wasn't ready herself). She was sending mummy endless letters and making her send her pointless care packages to enable Ruby's childish boarding school fantasies. She had her parents taking all their holidays in Devon so they were near her while she was at uni (and naturally made them come pick her up to join them so they never had time alone).

All the while Mummy Bones has been writing bad poetry about marital rifts. Ruby's mentioned her dad sleeping on a pull-out cot outside in the summer. Martha's mentioned that she's often excluded from/forgotten about when family events/holidays are arranged and Ruby sneakily tried to exclude Martha from attending her graduation. Martha usually does thoughtful things for birthdays/Christmas and in return Ruby gives her thoughtless, low-effort crap. Martha also chose to move to Brighton rather than be anywhere near her family, which doesn't seem like a coincidence.

Maybe that is all a coincidence and maybe their family would be just as much of a mess if Ruby weren't there, but I feel like never being able to spend a second alone with your spouse because of the spoilt, attention-seeking overgrown baby sucking all the life out of the house and treating you like an on-call chauffeur/camera operator isn't going to help a marriage. And always treating a child like an afterthought and neglecting them in favour of a self-absorbed, tantrum-throwing older sibling isn't exactly a recipe for a tight-knit family relationship, either.

I get the impression that the Bones are waiting for Ruby to grow up and move out so they can divorce and sell the house. When I was at school years ago, one of my friends’ parents had split up when she was young - she knew - but were still living together for the sake of her, right up until she was 18. Her parents couldn’t stand each other, one practically lived in the garage after a while, and my friend hated going home after school, because the house was miserable. As soon as she went to uni one parent moved out and they were finally free. It seems that they would have all been happier and healthier if the parents had been honest and split up properly. Instead for years they put up with co-habiting in misery for their teen child.

To me it seems Ruby gets under the Bones’ feet all the time. I bet they can’t go on holiday alone, without being guilt tripped because Roobs can’t be alone in a house, ever. I’m willing to bet they are beginning to feel trapped by her. It’s one thing choosing to have children and doing right by the children when they are under age, but most parents do it with the expectation that they get their free time and privacy back later on. I can’t see Ruby wanting to move out, ever. They’ll be in their 80s one day and Ruby will be scrabbling around in the kitchen, making crap food, in a white Victorian night dress, interupting their movie night in the Snug.
---

Is she... is she sitting outside, in the dark, in candlelight?

View attachment 1927616

Must have been pre-filmed, because it’s been very windy the past couple of days…

 

[Satisfying Click]

GHOST RUBY!

(I think the comments about her poor video editing got to her)