Bloody hell, some men really are scum. I cannot imagine what you're going through, but I know that if I were in your situation, I'd get the hell out of that toxic environment. You said you can only pay rent on your own from September, but isn't there someone you can stay with until then? A family member? A friend?
It's eating you on the inside and you might have to deal with the consequences of the stress you're under for a really long time. Mentally and physically.
You obviously still have feelings for him and I have a feeling that deep down, you're kind of hoping he'll have a change of heart and want you back.
I'm not an insensitive person and you definitely need a shoulder to cry on, but at the same time, you also need tough love from your girlfriends! HE IS A DOUCHEBAG and you need to start seeing him for what he is! Think of all the horrible things he's done to you and erase the good memories you have together. You need to stop having feelings for him!
Like I said, I have no idea what you're going through, but I know for a fact that if someone did the same to me, the disgust I'd feel would supress the love I felt for him. He's a piece of s***, period. And you deserve to be happy and to be treated respectfully.
If you can't stay with anyone, like many have advised, spend as little time at home as possible, see it as just a bed to sleep in. I hope to God that you're sleeping in separate rooms!
Keep your mind and yourself busy! Go to the park, read a book, go for walks, dinner, drinks, cinema. Basically anything but being at home!
And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't ask him anything at all about anything. It makes it look like treating you like that was okay, when it obviously wasn't and that you want him back.
If I were you, I'd definitely consider a therapy session or two as it could help you tremendously in terms of coping with this stress and start the grieving process.
Sending a huge virtual hug your way. [emoji847][emoji847]