Thanks to @BettyCat20 for the thread title (edited in case the mods don't like a cock), you've won yourself a free package of hair vitamins that will make you look like Rapunzel, and a big bag of "gently used" sex toys (because they're not for Rashflaps, apparently).
Last thread recap:
- Queen Lateetha is a bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- Rabies dragged her cancer-stricken mum up the stepladder to the hobbit loft to help her sort out a load of her old clothes for Vinted, because she can't put them in the "free shop" at the centre because all the clothes there are size 6-8 and they don't need any more. She later told a story that her mum had picked up a bag and a load of sex toys fell out, and she had given Isaac Joyce's old Apple watch and he went to look on a shelf to see if there was anything else he could have and found a rabbit sex toy. Who's keeping their stash of dildos, vibrators and butt plugs lying around in random bags and on shelves? Probably left out for poor old Linda to disinfect when they've had a good old session of loving each other the hardest
- #couplegoals headed off out for a walk, just the two of them, even though it's half term. Toupee Terry was boring as duck as usual, droning on about the difference between optimists, pessimists and realists. Bob-haired Betty looked bored and uninterested, so thought she'd film it to share with the huns.
- Booty Shorts Benjamin cooked a "one pot Rogan Josh", which apparently consists of putting raw chicken in the pan with veg. Side serving of food poisoning, anyone?
- some more clips from Patreon showed her talking about how difficult she found mornings and the school run back before she packed in work to be an Instascammer, telling a story about how one time she had ended up calling Sloshy at work and getting him to come home because she "couldn't cope" with Seb, and had driven away while 9 year old Seb was banging on her window trying to say sorry to her
so "giving your kids a childhood they don't need to recover from" includes losing your rag and driving away from a 9 year old child whose life had been turned upside down (his dad had left his mum on his birthday, shacked up with the tart he'd been banging on the side, then scooped up little Seb and Isaac and forced them to move in and play happy families with the wicked stepmother and her spawn). She walked out of the room where Seb was and then went on to talk about how bad his behaviour had been, because of "everything he'd been through".
- also on PatreCON, Bratsy was whining about some trainers she wants but can't afford, the huns in the comments were offering to chip in to buy them for her
like she doesn't get everything she wants 
one of the huns mentioned getting a blue light discount and Isaac asked what it was, Rabies told him what it was but said that Sloshy can't use it as he doesn't have a warrant card as it ran out in February. But it's February now, so is she talking about February 2022, which was before the "career break" was even requested, let alone started? 
Added to the fact that once a police officer has a warrant card, they only lose it by being dismissed or suspended for misconduct or being subject to a criminal investigation 
a police officer on a career break would retain their uniform and warrant card.
Terry the Twitcher wants a new telescope that he can look through with 2 eyes, and was begging his employer/wife while she secretly filmed it. What a happy, healthy relationship they have. Why he needs multiple telescopes and sets of binoculars when he's not allowed to go birdwatching any more is anyone's guess.
- apparently on a live on the PatreCON, Rambo revealed that Bratsy had cheated on her boyfriend, so he finished with her, but gave her a lift home. She left her airpods in his car, but he denied having them even though she could track them and see them being driven around. Rabies mouthed his name so the huns all guessed it, which made BeKind be not very kind and tell them they're all sneks.
- Isaac's birthday came, and the day started with Ratchet and Merlot Mike wrapping his gifts at the last minute.
- oooh a countdown to a "big book announcement" - which turned out to be the book signings in Manchester and Liverpool, which we already knew about
- back to Isaac's birthday, and OF COURSE Bratsy had to sit making comments while he was opening his presents, saying she had "the ick". Seb proved himself as a stone cold legend again when he called Sloshy an "all round bellend"
- instead of spending the day celebrating with Isaac, Raq and Joyce pissed off to Exeter for pie and mash, having been chauffered by BeKind. It turned out they'd gone axe throwing with some of the PatreCON huns. Imagine binning off your kid on his birthday to go out with a load of people who throw money at your wife to pretend she's their friend
- Sloshy's got his new telescope, all £4,400 of it (with an extra couple of hundred thrown in for the tripod).
- aww poor little non verbal, violent, level 3 autistic Wilbur was taken to the beach and given ice cream for his breakfast. Later Rambo filmed while he was having a tantrum in the car, and captioned it saying he'd had a terrible week, with the worst meltdowns in months. Ok hun.
- Rumblestrip kindly shared a list Edie had made for herself of things she wants to do this year. Sadly for a 9 year old girl, it included things like "work in the shop more often", "do exercise in the mornings", "focus on myself a lot more", and "find a best friend who is nice, funny, and matches my sense of humour"
- we haven't seen any footage from the #gifted CCTV lately, so Rumbaba rectified it by resharing an old clip of Sloshy forgetting to put the handbrake on the Volvo. Hilarious babes. Strange how someone who was trained in driving for both the military and the police could make such a rookie mistake.
- Raffleticket shared a post about kids feeling able to talk to their mum without getting told off, considering she is constantly surprised at what her kids get up to without telling her, and when they do tell her anything, it ends up on her Instagram, you'd think she'd have a bit less bare faced cheek.
- BeKind is packing for her Thailand trip, wondering how many bikinis is too many, and whether she needs to take a baseball cap to match each bikini. Unless Patty PayPal is entirely funding the trip and she'll be staying in luxury hotels, she might have a bit of a shock when she gets there. She seems to view "going travelling" to be the same as having a fortnight in Majorca.
- Doxing Doris is back at it again, sharing someone's profile on her PatreCON page, but with no information other than "being a bleep online". Well, it takes one to know one, Rancho. She always seems to think it's something to brag about when she shares someone's profile and then they make it private - she thinks it means they're shitting themselves, when in reality it's to stop the rabid huns sending them abuse and harassment - in other words, ACTUAL trolling and bullying.
- on Patreon again, and behind the scenes of getting a family photo for the book. Edie was wearing a Wolves football shirt that someone from her dad's family got her, so Rabies told her she had to go and change. Meanwhile, Lula said that some of her friends said Rumba is a MILF. Her rancid old face lit up at the thought of a bunch of 13 year old lads finding her attractive Wibble called PA Jo a "cuntasaurus" and then headbutted his ma. The language won't be so hilarious when he's coming out with it at nursery
- little Wilbert ate "loads of pancakes" at nursery, despite hating different foods
- Poor little Ratchet with the turned in toes feels all sorry for herself because the kids all go out to different activities on a Tuesday night, so Slosh gets to sit in the car and read a book on gulls for an hour. Boo hoo.
- we all know that Wobbly has an excellent knowledge of all his animals (despite Gobby Glenda insisting that he's non verbal and doesn't understand anything), but he was joking with her by deliberately saying the wrong animals.
- who would have thought it's been a year since that time Runty just filmed while Lula and Edie were slagging each other off round B&Q? Not us, but she shared the video just in case anyone had forgotten how she allows the kids to bully each other without ever stepping in and stopping it.
- up in the hobbit loft, Rumplestiltskin is wailing because Wilby's now got an NHS diagnosis of autism (even though it's nearly a year since she got the paid for diagnosis). She missed the assessment because she was too busy recording her audiobook, so Sloshy took him on his own. Anyway, she's super emotional about it, on top of the fact that Bratsy's leaving for Thailand this week. On Isaac's birthday, Gangster Granny turned up with a steak and a pack of apples for him
- meanwhile, on a live on PatreCON, she was talking about how when Sloshy took Wilbur for the assessment, they said he is autistic as well. Remember how she used to say she worked with autistic people for 20 years and was trained in diagnosis? Yet it's now a surprise that her husband may be on the spectrum
- while Wilbert was out at pre school, Rabies who is so busy with twelve million kids up her hole all the time managed to find a slot in her super busy, boss babe schedule to arrange all his animals into different boxes. She'd put the buffalo in with the wrong ones, and when he started emptying the tubs out onto the floor, she said TO HER THREE YEAR OLD "are you taking the bleeping piss, Wilby".
- little Wilberforce, who can't stand not having his routine, and hates disruption, wasn't at all bothered by some workmen turning up to fit a new door, and didn't even mind the noise.
- Bratsy's packed up her expensive rucksacks (one Osprey, the other Patagonia), and been taken to the airport by Dumb and Dumber. Bucket Hat Brian took great delight in striding around the airport looking like a massive prick, and trying to check Bratsy in before the gate was open.
- Later, Rhubarb encouraged people to go and follow her Porky Pigeon mate who booked Bratsy's flight, the lady then had to put a story up saying that she's not a travel agent, as she was inundated with huns asking her to sort their holidays.
- of course, Raffleticket had to do a post about BeKind, loads of waffle, and telling her she's "delightfully broken". She also did a story about "the job the trolls got you sacked from", except what actually happened was that the employer was exploiting the teenagers that worked there and breaking the law, so were forced to stop, but let's not allow the truth to get in the way of a good bit of troll-blaming.
- Rumbaba then messaged Lula (via Instagram) to ask if she'd liked being hugged when she was 4, or if she'd just pretended "because you knew I liked it".
- after all the wailing and crying about Betsy going "half way across the world all on her own", and how brave she is, it turns out she was meeting a couple of mates who are already out there. So basically she took a flight by herself then, didn't she
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Last thread recap:
- Queen Lateetha is a bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- Rabies dragged her cancer-stricken mum up the stepladder to the hobbit loft to help her sort out a load of her old clothes for Vinted, because she can't put them in the "free shop" at the centre because all the clothes there are size 6-8 and they don't need any more. She later told a story that her mum had picked up a bag and a load of sex toys fell out, and she had given Isaac Joyce's old Apple watch and he went to look on a shelf to see if there was anything else he could have and found a rabbit sex toy. Who's keeping their stash of dildos, vibrators and butt plugs lying around in random bags and on shelves? Probably left out for poor old Linda to disinfect when they've had a good old session of loving each other the hardest
- #couplegoals headed off out for a walk, just the two of them, even though it's half term. Toupee Terry was boring as duck as usual, droning on about the difference between optimists, pessimists and realists. Bob-haired Betty looked bored and uninterested, so thought she'd film it to share with the huns.
- Booty Shorts Benjamin cooked a "one pot Rogan Josh", which apparently consists of putting raw chicken in the pan with veg. Side serving of food poisoning, anyone?
- some more clips from Patreon showed her talking about how difficult she found mornings and the school run back before she packed in work to be an Instascammer, telling a story about how one time she had ended up calling Sloshy at work and getting him to come home because she "couldn't cope" with Seb, and had driven away while 9 year old Seb was banging on her window trying to say sorry to her
so "giving your kids a childhood they don't need to recover from" includes losing your rag and driving away from a 9 year old child whose life had been turned upside down (his dad had left his mum on his birthday, shacked up with the tart he'd been banging on the side, then scooped up little Seb and Isaac and forced them to move in and play happy families with the wicked stepmother and her spawn). She walked out of the room where Seb was and then went on to talk about how bad his behaviour had been, because of "everything he'd been through". - also on PatreCON, Bratsy was whining about some trainers she wants but can't afford, the huns in the comments were offering to chip in to buy them for her
like she doesn't get everything she wants one of the huns mentioned getting a blue light discount and Isaac asked what it was, Rabies told him what it was but said that Sloshy can't use it as he doesn't have a warrant card as it ran out in February. But it's February now, so is she talking about February 2022, which was before the "career break" was even requested, let alone started? Added to the fact that once a police officer has a warrant card, they only lose it by being dismissed or suspended for misconduct or being subject to a criminal investigation a police officer on a career break would retain their uniform and warrant card. Terry the Twitcher wants a new telescope that he can look through with 2 eyes, and was begging his employer/wife while she secretly filmed it. What a happy, healthy relationship they have. Why he needs multiple telescopes and sets of binoculars when he's not allowed to go birdwatching any more is anyone's guess.
- apparently on a live on the PatreCON, Rambo revealed that Bratsy had cheated on her boyfriend, so he finished with her, but gave her a lift home. She left her airpods in his car, but he denied having them even though she could track them and see them being driven around. Rabies mouthed his name so the huns all guessed it, which made BeKind be not very kind and tell them they're all sneks.
- Isaac's birthday came, and the day started with Ratchet and Merlot Mike wrapping his gifts at the last minute.
- oooh a countdown to a "big book announcement" - which turned out to be the book signings in Manchester and Liverpool, which we already knew about
- back to Isaac's birthday, and OF COURSE Bratsy had to sit making comments while he was opening his presents, saying she had "the ick". Seb proved himself as a stone cold legend again when he called Sloshy an "all round bellend"
- instead of spending the day celebrating with Isaac, Raq and Joyce pissed off to Exeter for pie and mash, having been chauffered by BeKind. It turned out they'd gone axe throwing with some of the PatreCON huns. Imagine binning off your kid on his birthday to go out with a load of people who throw money at your wife to pretend she's their friend
- Sloshy's got his new telescope, all £4,400 of it (with an extra couple of hundred thrown in for the tripod).
- aww poor little non verbal, violent, level 3 autistic Wilbur was taken to the beach and given ice cream for his breakfast. Later Rambo filmed while he was having a tantrum in the car, and captioned it saying he'd had a terrible week, with the worst meltdowns in months. Ok hun.
- Rumblestrip kindly shared a list Edie had made for herself of things she wants to do this year. Sadly for a 9 year old girl, it included things like "work in the shop more often", "do exercise in the mornings", "focus on myself a lot more", and "find a best friend who is nice, funny, and matches my sense of humour"
- we haven't seen any footage from the #gifted CCTV lately, so Rumbaba rectified it by resharing an old clip of Sloshy forgetting to put the handbrake on the Volvo. Hilarious babes. Strange how someone who was trained in driving for both the military and the police could make such a rookie mistake.
- Raffleticket shared a post about kids feeling able to talk to their mum without getting told off, considering she is constantly surprised at what her kids get up to without telling her, and when they do tell her anything, it ends up on her Instagram, you'd think she'd have a bit less bare faced cheek.
- BeKind is packing for her Thailand trip, wondering how many bikinis is too many, and whether she needs to take a baseball cap to match each bikini. Unless Patty PayPal is entirely funding the trip and she'll be staying in luxury hotels, she might have a bit of a shock when she gets there. She seems to view "going travelling" to be the same as having a fortnight in Majorca.
- Doxing Doris is back at it again, sharing someone's profile on her PatreCON page, but with no information other than "being a bleep online". Well, it takes one to know one, Rancho. She always seems to think it's something to brag about when she shares someone's profile and then they make it private - she thinks it means they're shitting themselves, when in reality it's to stop the rabid huns sending them abuse and harassment - in other words, ACTUAL trolling and bullying.
- on Patreon again, and behind the scenes of getting a family photo for the book. Edie was wearing a Wolves football shirt that someone from her dad's family got her, so Rabies told her she had to go and change. Meanwhile, Lula said that some of her friends said Rumba is a MILF. Her rancid old face lit up at the thought of a bunch of 13 year old lads finding her attractive
Wibble called PA Jo a "cuntasaurus" and then headbutted his ma. The language won't be so hilarious when he's coming out with it at nursery - little Wilbert ate "loads of pancakes" at nursery, despite hating different foods
- Poor little Ratchet with the turned in toes feels all sorry for herself because the kids all go out to different activities on a Tuesday night, so Slosh gets to sit in the car and read a book on gulls for an hour. Boo hoo.
- we all know that Wobbly has an excellent knowledge of all his animals (despite Gobby Glenda insisting that he's non verbal and doesn't understand anything), but he was joking with her by deliberately saying the wrong animals.
- who would have thought it's been a year since that time Runty just filmed while Lula and Edie were slagging each other off round B&Q? Not us, but she shared the video just in case anyone had forgotten how she allows the kids to bully each other without ever stepping in and stopping it.
- up in the hobbit loft, Rumplestiltskin is wailing because Wilby's now got an NHS diagnosis of autism (even though it's nearly a year since she got the paid for diagnosis). She missed the assessment because she was too busy recording her audiobook, so Sloshy took him on his own. Anyway, she's super emotional about it, on top of the fact that Bratsy's leaving for Thailand this week. On Isaac's birthday, Gangster Granny turned up with a steak and a pack of apples for him
- meanwhile, on a live on PatreCON, she was talking about how when Sloshy took Wilbur for the assessment, they said he is autistic as well. Remember how she used to say she worked with autistic people for 20 years and was trained in diagnosis? Yet it's now a surprise that her husband may be on the spectrum
- while Wilbert was out at pre school, Rabies who is so busy with twelve million kids up her hole all the time managed to find a slot in her super busy, boss babe schedule to arrange all his animals into different boxes. She'd put the buffalo in with the wrong ones, and when he started emptying the tubs out onto the floor, she said TO HER THREE YEAR OLD "are you taking the bleeping piss, Wilby".
- little Wilberforce, who can't stand not having his routine, and hates disruption, wasn't at all bothered by some workmen turning up to fit a new door, and didn't even mind the noise.
- Bratsy's packed up her expensive rucksacks (one Osprey, the other Patagonia), and been taken to the airport by Dumb and Dumber. Bucket Hat Brian took great delight in striding around the airport looking like a massive prick, and trying to check Bratsy in before the gate was open.
- Later, Rhubarb encouraged people to go and follow her Porky Pigeon mate who booked Bratsy's flight, the lady then had to put a story up saying that she's not a travel agent, as she was inundated with huns asking her to sort their holidays.
- of course, Raffleticket had to do a post about BeKind, loads of waffle, and telling her she's "delightfully broken". She also did a story about "the job the trolls got you sacked from", except what actually happened was that the employer was exploiting the teenagers that worked there and breaking the law, so were forced to stop, but let's not allow the truth to get in the way of a good bit of troll-blaming.
- Rumbaba then messaged Lula (via Instagram) to ask if she'd liked being hugged when she was 4, or if she'd just pretended "because you knew I liked it".
- after all the wailing and crying about Betsy going "half way across the world all on her own", and how brave she is, it turns out she was meeting a couple of mates who are already out there. So basically she took a flight by herself then, didn't she
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Xx
. How the hell is this someone's real life? It's just utter chaos!
well done Dipsy 
I’m actually a bit embarrassed that R has made such a song and dance about B just going on holiday, it’s proper cringe.
