Pregnancy

[WhatABore]

I’m only 29 weeks but I really want to go naturally as well I really don’t want a induction. I didn’t know you could refuse. How long can you refuse for?

You can refuse as much as you like. Obviously it can start to become a danger to you and your baby past 42 weeks. But you don't have to say yes to anything at all

In response to everyone saying about being worried about having a big baby, they do say that having a bigger baby can actually be easier because there's more weight behind them
Don't know how true that is haha

 

[Days28]

Mine was very chilled out. Honestly, it was a dream in comparison to my emergency cesarean. I had to be put to sleep during the first and there were complications and a longer stay in hospital afterwards, but the elective was great. I felt so in control, my OH was able to be there, the staff took good care and reassured me, chatted away to me while it was all happening. I was only in hospital 24 hours and was able to go home the next day. If I have a third (which I would like someday) then I’d opt for an elective again.

You can refuse all medical intervention, for as long as you like. As mentioned above there are risks to carrying on past 42 weeks however.

@Days28 I had an elective section after two difficult vaginal births. It was hands down my best birth experience, very calm. I am having another this time round.

Mine was very chilled out. Honestly, it was a dream in comparison to my emergency cesarean. I had to be put to sleep during the first and there were complications and a longer stay in hospital afterwards, but the elective was great. I felt so in control, my OH was able to be there, the staff took good care and reassured me, chatted away to me while it was all happening. I was only in hospital 24 hours and was able to go home the next day. If I have a third (which I would like someday) then I’d opt for an elective again.

That’s super reassuring thankyou, I’m thrilled to be having second but have been about doomed even thinking about the birth! X

 

[Hbirdette]

I’m not saying that this is what I wanted to do but if I wanted to go for an elective c-section, are they going to really try and talk me out of it? I know quite a few female docs and always find it interesting as the ones who have had children have all had elective c sections! Just wondered if anyone could shed any light onto if I asked for one, would they actually do it?

 

[Whaaaaat]

I’m not saying that this is what I wanted to do but if I wanted to go for an elective c-section, are they going to really try and talk me out of it? I know quite a few female docs and always find it interesting as the ones who have had children have all had elective c sections! Just wondered if anyone could shed any light onto if I asked for one, would they actually do it?

I think it would depend on your reason for wanting one. One of my friends had one because she passed out at the sight of blood so they agreed it was better for her.

I think if it was just because you didn’t want to give birth naturally they would really try and talk you out of it. The recovery is generally much longer and it costs the NHS a lot more than a normal birth.

 

[HoneyBee29]

I’m not saying that this is what I wanted to do but if I wanted to go for an elective c-section, are they going to really try and talk me out of it? I know quite a few female docs and always find it interesting as the ones who have had children have all had elective c sections! Just wondered if anyone could shed any light onto if I asked for one, would they actually do it?

I haven’t had one but my cousin has. She told me it has to fall under certain medical reasons. She had one with her 2nd because her baby was breech and the doctor managed to turn her but she turned herself back again. They won’t just give one if you ask for it as far as I’m aware anyway I know that’s the way it works where I am

Does anyone have any good hospital bag lists? Or even if you don’t mind sharing your own? Im starting to get mine together and know a few things I need but not sure what the best recommendations are for the likes of maternity pads etc

 

[littlepup]

I’m not saying that this is what I wanted to do but if I wanted to go for an elective c-section, are they going to really try and talk me out of it? I know quite a few female docs and always find it interesting as the ones who have had children have all had elective c sections! Just wondered if anyone could shed any light onto if I asked for one, would they actually do it?

You have the right to request the birth you want but you have to have a good reason for it. Being able to plan the date for childcare mightn't be enough say but a deathly anxiety that will be mitigated by having a planned date might. They prefer vaginal.
I talked with a midwife sonographer about it the other day in a hypothetical way. She said, in most cases, vaginal is better for a baby with no issues as they benefit from coming through the birth canal, clearing them out of fluids and getting good bacteria/immunity something or other, also less shock. It's better for mum as the recovery is much easier and you can manage baby easier in terms of lifting etc.
The benefits of having one depend on the reasons its being considered. For me it was because if breech in which case it would be safer than vaginal.

Does anyone have any good hospital bag lists? Or even if you don’t mind sharing your own? Im starting to get mine together and know a few things I need but not sure what the best recommendations are for the likes of maternity pads etc

I got these which are enormous but have great reviews and were recommended to me as well as Aldi inco pants (and Aldi nappies for baby, Which's best buy). Tena will send you a free pants sample if you fill in the form on their website.
Also have one of these fans and a magicool spray - don't know if I'll need it but again, have been recommended.
Portable "bidet" from amazon too - basically a water bottle to spray your bits at the same time as having a wee so it's diluted and stings less apparently.

 

[Hbirdette]

You have the right to request the birth you want but you have to have a good reason for it. Being able to plan the date for childcare mightn't be enough say but a deathly anxiety that will be mitigated by having a planned date might. They prefer vaginal.
I talked with a midwife sonographer about it the other day in a hypothetical way. She said, in most cases, vaginal is better for a baby with no issues as they benefit from coming through the birth canal, clearing them out of fluids and getting good bacteria/immunity something or other, also less shock. It's better for mum as the recovery is much easier and you can manage baby easier in terms of lifting etc.
The benefits of having one depend on the reasons its being considered. For me it was because if breech in which case it would be safer than vaginal.



I got these which are enormous but have great reviews and were recommended to me as well as Aldi inco pants (and Aldi nappies for baby, Which's best buy). Tena will send you a free pants sample if you fill in the form on their website.
Also have one of these fans and a magicool spray - don't know if I'll need it but again, have been recommended.
Portable "bidet" from amazon too - basically a water bottle to spray your bits at the same time as having a wee so it's diluted and stings less apparently.

Thank you! In all honesty I’m happy to do vaginal if I can, I was just curious. Although my placenta is currently too low anyway so at the moment it could well be a c section got my next scan at 36 weeks so it could all change by then though!

 

[WhatABore]

I haven’t had one but my cousin has. She told me it has to fall under certain medical reasons. She had one with her 2nd because her baby was breech and the doctor managed to turn her but she turned herself back again. They won’t just give one if you ask for it as far as I’m aware anyway I know that’s the way it works where I am

Does anyone have any good hospital bag lists? Or even if you don’t mind sharing your own? Im starting to get mine together and know a few things I need but not sure what the best recommendations are for the likes of maternity pads etc

Anyone has the right to a csection without reason on the NHS they're not actually allowed to say no

 

[Definitelyme]

Current guidelines say that any woman can request a section and the NHS cannot refuse, as @WhatABore says. I know people who have had sections simply because they wanted them, not a signal birth. No “medical” reason needed.

Of course when you ask they will do what people call “trying to talk you out of it”, but they are obliged to make sure that every woman understands that c sections are major surgery etc etc.

 

[HoneyBee29]

It’s only In England and Wales it can be performed without medical need it’s not for us in Northern Ireland

 

[Definitelyme]

It’s only In England and Wales it can be performed without medical need it’s not for us in Northern Ireland

I am in Northern Ireland, and as I said above have known people to ask and be given a section for no underlying medical reason (physical or mental health). So it may well be at the discretion of Drs as well. Some may be happier to go ahead than others.

 

[HoneyBee29]

I am in Northern Ireland, and as I said above have known people to ask and be given a section for no underlying medical reason (physical or mental health). So it may well be at the discretion of Drs as well. Some may be happier to go ahead than others.

Possibly at the doctors discretion. Although I don’t personally know anyone that’s had one without a medical reason here

 

[WhatABore]

Possibly at the doctors discretion. Although I don’t personally know anyone that’s had one without a medical reason here

I don't think I know anyone who has had one without medical reasons.

My consultant is keen for me to choose a csection because of how bad I tore last time.
Have no idea what to choose!

 

[HoneyBee29]

I don't think I know anyone who has had one without medical reasons.

My consultant is keen for me to choose a csection because of how bad I tore last time.
Have no idea what to choose!

I don’t either and did think it was something they would be quite strict on and not do unless they thought absolutely necessary to do so

 

[Definitelyme]

I don't think I know anyone who has had one without medical reasons.

My consultant is keen for me to choose a csection because of how bad I tore last time.
Have no idea what to choose!

This is why I have had a section with no3 and again with No4. I was told my tear from no2 (and his giant head) would very likely rupture again, and not heal as well as it thankfully did the first time. Since I have no desire to poo myself at random for the rest of my days it was an easy choice for me to go for a section afterwards.

And I can honestly say it was well worth it. The recovery wasn’t much longer than I had after my issues with no2, so I’m very glad I chose it, and have done again (and hoping recovery goes as smoothly this time)

 

[WhatABore]

This is why I have had a section with no3 and again with No4. I was told my tear from no2 (and his giant head) would very likely rupture again, and not heal as well as it thankfully did the first time. Since I have no desire to poo myself at random for the rest of my days it was an easy choice for me to go for a section afterwards.

And I can honestly say it was well worth it. The recovery wasn’t much longer than I had after my issues with no2, so I’m very glad I chose it, and have done again (and hoping recovery goes as smoothly this time)

I am leaning towards it massively.
Don't like the idea of them having to reconstruct things down there. As my consultant said would probably be needed this time
It took around 8-10 weeks to just be able to sit for longer than half an hour so I'm leaning massively towards a csection!
Just scared shitless haha

 

[Whaaaaat]

I am leaning towards it massively.
Don't like the idea of them having to reconstruct things down there. As my consultant said would probably be needed this time
It took around 8-10 weeks to just be able to sit for longer than half an hour so I'm leaning massively towards a csection!
Just scares shitless haha

I had a csection and it was completely fine. As long as you make sure you properly rest after and don’t push yourself you recover quite quickly. I was doing the food shop a week later.

 

[Squiggle]

Thank you! In all honesty I’m happy to do vaginal if I can, I was just curious. Although my placenta is currently too low anyway so at the moment it could well be a c section got my next scan at 36 weeks so it could all change by then though!

Mines low too. Long a wait for 36 week scan for me

 

[Definitelyme]

I am leaning towards it massively.
Don't like the idea of them having to reconstruct things down there. As my consultant said would probably be needed this time
It took around 8-10 weeks to just be able to sit for longer than half an hour so I'm leaning massively towards a csection!
Just scared shitless haha

Honestly it isn’t bad at all. I didn’t even think about it until the day itself when I was like “tit they are about to cut me open”. It was so calm, and everyone was very informative about what was happening at every stage, they gave me choices to “make it my own birth” in a sense (like if I wanted to see her being pulled out etc. I did not. I like them when they are cleaned up ) so it never felt cold and medical and far removed from a birth. Hands down it was my best birth of the three I’ve had.

And as someone said above, just taking it easy afterwards really helps. I sat on my (still intact ) a for weeks watching box sets while my poor parents and husband did all the school runs etc!

 

[Hbirdette]

Mines low too. Long a wait for 36 week scan for me

Haha how many weeks are you? I’m 28 today... I’m honestly not bothered either way! I think I was freaked at first cause my midwife was like no sex, no heavy lifting etc so my husband wanted to wrap me in cotton wool but so far I’ve had no issues!