What an awful thing to go through for all your family. But it proves how much of a survivor you are. I'm glad your ok now.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I had a bad tear and it felt uncomfortable for a good year and that was with everything healing well, definitely worth getting checked. Would only be like having a smear? I must say though that my libido has never returned properly after having kids. It's great when we do it and we're both adventurous but it's like a chore having to make time for it sometimes as you're so knackered in the evenings after working and looking after the kids and then any other time it's quick whilst you get a spare min so doesn't feel the greatestIt’s just extremely uncomfortable. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but I also feel embarrassed about it tooMy partner has told me to go to the doctors but I was checked over twice post pregnancy and both my midwife and GP said everything has healed well and back then I hadn’t even attempted sex, we waited about 2 months after baby was born and that’s when I first realised something didn’t feel right
It took me a long time to want any more babies after my first. Medically the experience probably wasn't bad ( although baby was back to back, I needed lots of stitches and had a pph) but they wrote the birth weight as 3.9kg instead of 3.6kg. They kept me in hospital for 5 days (til I told them I was discharging myself) because they thought baby had lost too much weight and I wasn't breastfeeding properly and lied baby had jaundice ( it didn't say that in my notes). I swore if I ever did have another baby I'd never go back there,I hated the whole experience. Luckily, that maternity unit had closed by the time I had my next baby (after a 10+ year gap).
I also think that the midwives treat young, unmarried first time mothers differently to married mid 30s mothers who've had a baby before.
I also think that the midwives treat young, unmarried first time mothers differently to married mid 30s mothers who've had a baby before.
Same, I’m 14 months pp and only this week started to feel a tiny inkling of a sex drive, I wondered whether it’s cos I don’t have my periods back as I’m still breastfeeding so my hormones aren’t ‘normal’ if you get me, also physically it feels uncomfortable, I didn’t tear but I was cut and stitched back up, Healed well but it just doesn’t feel right down there, feels like it’s closed over or something!I know this may seem a bit off topic... but it’s related to birth so whatever. Does anyone not enjoy sex since giving birth? It’s been 11 months since I had my baby and it just feels so uncomfortable. I never had any problems healing, I only had a second degree tear which healed well. I don’t even have much of a libido anymore
Oh and I’m so glad I just put a blanket ban on any visitors to the hospital right before the baby was even born, I couldn’t think of anything more stressful, you need the time to sleep, feed, hold baby, process what has just happened etc, plenty of time for visitors later on
Last edited:
Oh they definitely do treat young, first time mums differently. Some of them treat you like an idiot. I was 25 when I had my first (not totally young) but I look younger. I had this one particular old midwife who was a real battle axe. Accused me of not feeding my baby enough - he would scream more than any other baby on the ward, bearing in mind that he was also poorly and being treated for an infection. I physically couldn’t get him to feed anymore than he was taking. I felt like such a failure. Not a good way to start motherhood, and her attitude among other things caused me to fall into a depression. I struggled to bond with my son in the first 6 months and felt I wasn’t good enough to be his mum.
With my next baby a few years later, it was like night and day. I was obviously more experienced and confident, the midwives were great and not one bit condescending/patronising.
Two weeks after my baby was born I had a massive pulmonary embolism and and nearly died - had to spend two days in intensive care. Terrifying and even more so that I have massive health anxiety. Safe to say he is my last! I wasn't high risk either, I'm 21 and not overweight. The birth was super stressful so that's why they think it happened. What us ladies go through!!
Not me, but my friend has three. Baby one and baby two were both very fast labours and births, so the minute she felt a contraction with baby three (a week early) she though it would be better to go to hospital. She lived about half an hours drive from the hospital and didn't have family nearby so all her (incredibly panicked) husband could do was put her other two children in the back of the car and drive. For some reason, in his panic, he put the Jack Russel in the car too!
Anyway, ten minutes in and she was screaming at him that he needed to pull in because she could feel the head. He pulled up outside a house and ran in for help and to see if they would ring an ambulance (late nineties so not everyone had a mobile).
The couple that lived in the house came out to help. He was a gynaecologist and she was a midwife!!!
They delivered the baby and the ambulance arrived. She'd lost quite a bit of blood, but in the end mother and baby were both fine.
Her husband had the snip after that!
Anyway, ten minutes in and she was screaming at him that he needed to pull in because she could feel the head. He pulled up outside a house and ran in for help and to see if they would ring an ambulance (late nineties so not everyone had a mobile).
The couple that lived in the house came out to help. He was a gynaecologist and she was a midwife!!!
They delivered the baby and the ambulance arrived. She'd lost quite a bit of blood, but in the end mother and baby were both fine.
Her husband had the snip after that!
Oh god the jack Russel part made me laugh so much
I hope he made a good birthing partner for her!Probably better than the poor panicky husband did at the timeOh god the jack Russel part made me laugh so much
Her eldest daughter was almost 8 at the time and can remember it very clearly.
My OHs auntie announced the death of his grandmother (her mother) on Facebook before the rest of the immediate family had been told. She’d been asked to wait 48hrs as family who live abroad hadn’t all been called yet. Some people have no filter!
I think a lot of it is probably your mind rather than body. At that age you are likely exhausted from chasing baby round all day and it's so hard to get " in the mood"I know this may seem a bit off topic... but it’s related to birth so whatever. Does anyone not enjoy sex since giving birth? It’s been 11 months since I had my baby and it just feels so uncomfortable. I never had any problems healing, I only had a second degree tear which healed well. I don’t even have much of a libido anymore
I was exactly the same and it was just too much going on in my head thinking about is the baby going to wake up and all the jobs I needed to do, work , etc
Have u had a night away from the baby just you and your partner?
Nope, we had booked a weekend away in Manchester in the first weekend of lockdown but obviously we had to cancel it
Nope, we had booked a weekend away in Manchester in the first weekend of lockdown but obviously we had to cancel it
Honestly it's so hard with kids that age. Hopefully you get away together soon.
I did a poo in front of my then husband while in the birth pool. I know it's normal but I SAW IT and I'm still not over it (this was 8 years ago!).So did mine
Not a horror story as such but I suffered with cholastasis in both of my pregnancies, you itch from head to toe 24/7. Your liver basically isn’t working and they get the baby out at 37 weeks due to risk of stillbirth. Being induced at 37 weeks isn’t great, your body just isn’t ready to be in labour. Takes days & days.
That's absolutely awful, Dr's like rhat should not be allowed to practice. Have you recieved any debrief service?
As an aside the issue with mandatory gbs testing is that the test just says what your status is that day. Women can test positive and then be negative and get unnecessary antibiotics which can result in resistanxe to Antibiotics, or test negative then get gbs later on. Testing much later on can mean the results aren't back before baby is born.
Please don't feel embarrassed, women do go to the Dr for this. Sex should not be uncomfortable and painful sex not something to put up with. Things can be done to help. Things may have healed well but something is causing discomfort.It’s just extremely uncomfortable. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but I also feel embarrassed about it too
It took me years after the kids were born to feel like I actually needed and wanted to have sex again.It’s just extremely uncomfortable. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but I also feel embarrassed about it too
It was uncomfortable and even using lube it just seemed to dry up very quickly
and it sounds horrible but I always felt like I had a million other things I should have been doing instead or just wanted to go to sleep.We are well past the baby stage now and I definitely have a new renewed libido but it took a looooong time
This was in the mid 90s so nothing got done about it but it should still be on my records, I'd hope so anyway. I think (and hope) he's retired now. I needed gynaecology treatment several years later, had a lovely female doctor who left and this monster took over. I told my gp I refused to see him and wanted a female doctor, only to get told I could be sued for discrimination
Also subsequent pregnancies weren't tested for gbs, they just assumed I had it and gave me antibiotics in labour
Mine have been awful.
Had preeclampsia 3 times, then left with kidney issues. Thanks kids
Had preeclampsia 3 times, then left with kidney issues. Thanks kids
Yeah if someone has had gbs in prev pregnancies and baby was affected we offer abx anywayThis was in the mid 90s so nothing got done about it but it should still be on my records, I'd hope so anyway. I think (and hope) he's retired now. I needed gynaecology treatment several years later, had a lovely female doctor who left and this monster took over. I told my gp I refused to see him and wanted a female doctor, only to get told I could be sued for discrimination
Also subsequent pregnancies weren't tested for gbs, they just assumed I had it and gave me antibiotics in labour
You won't be sued for discrimination, plenty of women have reasons for requesting female Dr. I hate it when healthcare workers try and scare women into accepting things.