Pregnancy #62

[RoseyThorney]

Hi everyone, I hope I can join the chat. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant (feels weird even typing that!) and am about 6 weeks. Any recommendations for good books that cover everything? Getting overwhelmed by the amount of info on the internet so would be good to focus on a book or two in the first instance. Thank you in advance

Congrats!

I haven’t read them yet but so far I have the following, as recommended by my best friend:

Expecting Better by Emily Oster
The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill
Give Birth Like a Feminist by Milli Hill

I have more recs from her (which she said massively helped her have a positive birth experience) but I know you said you just wanted to focus on one or two. Happy to share the other recs if you’d like them, though.
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We had our 20 week scan today and the sonographer was able to see everything except the nose/lips and heart, but she said everything else looked normal! We also wanted her to reconfirm that we’re having a girl and she said it looks like we are but she couldn’t get a clear view as baby had her legs thrown up over her head. Even tuck jumps and shaking myself around didn’t budge her. She’s apparently nestled deep into my pelvis, which explains why I don’t have a bump yet!

We’re booked in again next week to hopefully get a clearer view of her face and heart. We went and placed our order for the travel system and cotbed as well.

Tomorrow's task is to finally tell my unsupportive parents that we’re having a baby.

 

[Spencerskates]

Just had my last growth scan and have been told I have to have a C-section, I’m okay with it just a bit sad I won’t experience labour etc but as long as she’s here safely then that’s all I care about really.

I am quite scared tho and not sure what to expect

I had a planned section with my first baby and it was the most positive experience - fire any questions my way and I’ll be happy to help!

 

[Super_Berry]

Mine did appear but I found Badger very unpredictable and unreliable.. when’s your next midwife appt? You could call them and see if you can find out over the phone as they should have the info

I hate the app. Most of the time it's just slow or I can't find where the info is or my appointments aren't even uploaded.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I think I know the answer to this but I'm not sure I've felt the baby move today and my stomach feels so tight and achey. I should call triage shouldn't I to see what they say? Silly question too, if they ask me to go in will they see me without my maternity notes? My notes are at home but I pass by the hospital on my way home from the office so it makes sense to go straight there from work.

I forgot my notes once at a scan and I got really told off by the consultant - but everything was on the system anyway… which made the telling off feel really unnecessary and self-indulgent of the consultant to do. I think in terms of movement they’d rather see you with no notes and make sure baby is okay than you delay going for some notes. Take a photo/put your NHS number in your phone so they can at least find your notes on the system easier but I wouldn’t worry too much. Baby’s safety comes first.

 

[littlepup]

34 weeks today and baby is still breech I’ve got until 36 weeks for her to turn before we start talking about a C section, I know she could turn anytime multiple times but I’m quite scared of a C section.

Wondering if anyone had some advice to prepare just incase I do need one or had a good experience? Just to put my mind at ease a bit xx

I had a breech baby turned. The procedure wasn’t remotely as bad as I’d heard. This time they turned themselves, can’t remember the week but late.
Ultimately I had an emergency c-section both times, which I can’t deny isn’t best case but I’d say I’ve never heard a bad story about the procedure during a planned C-section.
You have time to wait and see if baby turns or can be turned. I’d be inclined to say don’t stress about it yet as the stress in itself can turn it into an even bigger worry. If it comes to it you need to look at the statistics relevant to you, your age, weight, pregnancy history. What’s right for one, won’t be for another.

I’m finally buying baby bits and I wondered if anyone had any recommendations or thoughts on the following. What did you buy and do you recommend? I’m also looking to combi feed and I’ve no idea where to even start with these:
- White noise machine
- Groegg
- Prep machine
- Breast pump
- Steriliser
Thanks so much

Combi feeder here.
White noise - up to you, I got one this time, Dreamegg and it’s good but baby doesn’t care for it. They can be magic machines for babies that make the sleep association but mine hasn’t, I haven’t got my act together to take it about for every nap.

Groegg - was given one last time, it broke and I replaced with a 2 pack from amazon thermometers, about £7, these were fine. This time I didn’t bother. You can generally feel if a room or baby is too hot or cold. Expensive gimmick to prey on new mum’s fears imo however, we do have those fears so again, up to you, but a cheap one does the job.

Prep machine - depends how much formula you plan to do. I rate the Rapid cool if only doing one or two a day and I’d have one of these for out and about anyway. You can get prep machines next day delivery so I’d hold off and use pre-made/rapid cool for the first while to see how you go. I also wouldn’t buy too many bottles in ass you don’t use/baby doesn’t like.

Breast pump - A manual one might be handy right at the start but you’re advised not to so you don’t create an over supply. I’d probably hold off altogether until you know if you’re going to stick with breast feeding at all and tbh if you’re combi, you can just use formula for bottles, there’s no need to pump really (again, can create over supply if you don’t do the same every day). If you do go electric you can to work out your flange size as it’s not a one for all affair and this is the most important element but again I have a no wires random Amazon one with just 2 settings and the flange it came with, it does the job.

Steraliser - Milton cold water all the way. Microwave bags are handy for travel, I have ‘Munchkin’ brand.

Work out what you’d like and add to an Amazon baby wish list now then they’re there if you need them, research done. Or buy just before due date so you’ve got them but don’t open them unless you need to and send back what you don’t use.
Don’t buy anything electric too far in advance as you’ll miss the return/eat up warranty time if it doesn’t work/suit you.
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I'm classed as older being 37 and like you husband wasn't on board. When I had my last pregnancy four years ago I was classed as high risk for downs due to my age.

My age was never mentioned at all when I was 37, this one I was 42 so advanced maternal age but no mention of increased risk of downs (I know there was but they never said). It must vary by trust as to what they say but it’s a bit off to worry people like that!

 

[Elisha97]

Sorry everyone. My friend is married to a top gynaecologist. YOU MUST TAKE YOUR NOTES ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE WITH YOU. I made a folder with old family baby photos on it and carried it in a large handbag. If something happens to you, the notes MUST go with you. OK, the chances are hopefully very slim (not for me, I have a 53% chance of miscarriage ). But if you collapse at work/Tesco, who is going to think to go to your car to get your notes? Carry them everywhere

I’m literally in my local day unit now for an emergency check up.. and I didn’t need my notes, no one has asked for them, and I wasn’t asked to bring them / told I need them either I’ve been more times than I can count as well and it’s never been an issue

Your hospital will be able to identify you by name and NHS number so there is no need to panic! I would be more inclined to have my phone set up with emergency contacts / details in my bag for those kinds of situations

 

[JombleWomble]

Anyone else get TMJ pain triggered by pregnancy? I always flare up when I’m pregnant but it’s next level this time can’t even get anything to help besides paracetamol

Yes I've never had it before but it started about 3 weeks ago and it's so painful!

On a happier note, we saw our consultant yesterday and were told we're no longer classed as high risk. It doesn't really change anything practical for us but it feels so reassuring.

 

[Shinythings]

Looking for some advice. I'm about 5 weeks and I CANNOT stop eating. I have never known hunger like it. It was what made suspicious and test. I wake up in the night because of hunger pangs. I will eat dinner and my tummy will be rumbling half an hour later like I haven't eaten anything. I've tried eating little and often, tried typical foods that fill you up, drinking lots of water and NOTHING fills the hole. I have already gained weight from it. I am very conscious about not overeating and gaining unhealthy amounts of weight (obviously it's normal to gain some and be hungry but this is something else) but I can't help it. Does this pass? Any ideas to stop constantly feeling painfully hungry?

Also I know it's impossible to be showing already but I am very bloated but my bloat looks very baby bump shaped, not like any bloating I've had before, it genuinely looks like I have a cute little bump. Does this go away? We aren't telling people until we've had the scan but I don't want people seeing my bump shaped bloat and asking me.

 

[ASAnigel]

I also think it’s different if people are coming and will genuinely help you as well as wanting to see the baby.

there’s a big difference between people bringing food round/offering to do washing/hold the baby while you shower or sleep and people that come round just to hold the baby and expect you to make them a cup of tea and then won’t even wash up their own cups etc.

But I do also agree with the poster who mentioned getting out the way asap!

 

[Greencatfysh]

I need this baby out now because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with lightning crotch.

Same, I’m feeling really low, I am just sitting around the house. I wanna go out and do things but back and hips are so sore. I never understood why women wanted their babies out asap, I was so naive

 

[Greencatfysh]

The idea is that you only get colostrum before baby arrives, it’ll go to milk soon post delivery, so it’s a limited supply after and it’s the best stuff (even if you don’t intend to continue with the breast). Also, if you had any recovery issues or can’t get a latch you or someone else could give it to baby instead of formula, gives you a bit of time.

I couldn’t do it first time. Just couldn’t get my head around it. It would have made things a lot easier when I struggled to establish breastfeeding and get my milk to come in, given me a buffer rather than desperately trying to pump. I’d recommend trying but if you can’t buy it’s not make or break, I still breast fed eventually.

I did it this time, then forgot to take it to the hospital I gave it after the first vaccine though and may be coincidence but they settled straight after despite being fussy for ages before hand.

I definitely agree that once you’ve physically breast fed a baby, getting your head around *stuff coming out of your boobs* MUST be easier. Right now it just feels icky to me. My midwife gave me a kit. The first instruction is to massage your boobs for a solid 10 mins and then squeeze them gently. It’s a bit like perineal massage for me - the suggestion was husband could help. So far in my 35 years both my boobs and my perineal area have been purely for pleasure, so spending time at home “treating” them in a medical way is just a weird, mind bending concept…

 

[Saltfish84]

Thanks both. PALS can’t make them change the list, we can only “hope” someone gives birth early and I get their slot but this is risking my baby’s life. I suppose reporting it to PALS only helps me if the worst happens as a log for when I sue them for not following process.

I’m just so sad and anxious now. Can’t relax now at all

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Agreed, call the midwife @yankydoo fingers crossed it’s nothing but worth checking
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I’m getting so annoyed with my MIL as my due date approaches. I’d love to hear how others actually dealt with this when going into labour. She has made multiple comments about feeling entitled to see her grandchild asap and come round asap, blah blah. We’ve said we’ll see how we feel (which is even more pertinent now as 3 of my NCT course friends have now had their babies and have stayed in hospital for 5-7 days, so you never know what to expect!)

Now MIL is messaging to make sure we keep her updated (I.e via WhatsApp etc). I’ve said we’ll share our news when we are ready! I don’t know what more she wants - a running update of my cervix dilation and which meds I’m on?!

I fully understand it’s an exciting time for everyone and im probably just sensitive about it but I wish everyone would just go away. Obviously if something goes wrong or me or baby are unwell we’ll share news asap. I just am getting so annoyed about the feeling of everyone looming over me when I just want to focus on me and my baby and my husband and have it as a special, private time
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I wish I could remind them that in the 80s and 90s they had to wait for a phone call, people are too used to 500 WhatsApp’s and day and photos asap!

I set my WhatsApp settings so that people couldn’t see if I was online/read their message and casually announced a blanket rule that I was taking a break away from my phone in the last few weeks whilst I rested and prepared for labour…. This actually only applied to my MIL but she thought it was for everyone so made the blow a little softer
I also dropped into convo that people messaging only to see if I was in labour/if the baby was here were being ignored. Didn’t stop her sending the message but I ignored it anyway. I needed her to understand that my rules and boundaries applied to her as sometimes those close family members/friends hear what you’re saying but don’t think it applies to them!

 

[Hinchhater1442]

For those mentioning that they’d rather be scheduled for a c-section than be induced, could I ask for insight on the reasoning behind this? I’m wondering if this is something I should consider myself, especially since I want to avoid an induction as long as possible.

I think it’s just personal preference, a lot of my own thoughts in my head are probably flawed haha, but a big one for me was that if you feel the need to evacuate baby sooner than they are ready then let’s do so quickly, not potentially drag out a 5 day induction
I know people do have positive inductions, but everyone I know personally enough in life to know their birth stories ended with emergency c sections anyway and I didn’t like those odds. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with

 

[Vmanxx]

I have a bit of an embarrassing question - how do you tell the difference between leaking waters, wee and discharge?! I’m experiencing fairly wet underwear mostly in the mornings, it doesn’t smell of nothing but it also smells of something… it could also just be sweat because I’m waking up so sweaty during the night. I’m 37+6 today. According to Google I would know if it’s my waters breaking and also that leaking urine is very common… I don’t really want to have to go in to get checked unless I really need to

Honestly…waters smell like cum no lie, it’s a semen smell

 

[Spencerskates]

Just as a different view point, because everyone commenting so far got pregnant really quickly after coming off the pill - I came off the pill in March 2023 and am currently only 6 weeks pregnant

Yeah I don’t want to be a negative Nelly, but it took me a really long time. I won’t say exactly how long, but just to say that it can happen and not to panic if you’re not immediately pregnant the moment you come off the pill!


My Edward’s/Patau’s syndrome results came back at 1 in 5000 but it doesn’t say if that’s high or low, and Google offers mixed results. Can anyone help?

 

[Greencatfysh]

I ended up calling and finding out how to cancel tomorrow, as it is within my rights as I’m not term yet. I feel such a relief knowing Im not forcing myself to go through that tomorrow when it wasn’t feeling right with me. I’m not scared of giving birth/being induced, I just don’t feel like I’m in any rush and why force myself

Don’t want to generalise but they do seem very hasty with inductions going off of lots of you in this thread. I’m interested in all the stats around it.

 

[Scorpihoe]

This ad on the pregnancy thread

Spoiler: MC

 

[Greencatfysh]

I had to go for a growth scan as my bump was measuring >97th centile. Was absolutely DYING at the thought of being diagnosed with gestational diabetes right before Christmas baby is measuring fine though weight on the 49th centile and is just a bit tall - and I’m really short so she has nowhere to grow but out
I also have been suffering with bloating and constipation so I personally feel my stomach was just large because of that
So lovely to see her though and the sonagrspher even made sure to get some good pics of her face which we weren’t expecting 🩷🩷

So exciting! I always thought this too, some days I was soo constipated and it defo made a big difference to how big I was and how much I could feel her, but my midwife was like “no.. that’s not a thing”

 

[littlepup]

Spoiler: Induction reasons and stats

I'm not sure I agree @Hinchhater1442 Induction is no guarantee when baby will come (I believe 2-5 days is most common) and there are tons of reasons you might need or want one and various different methods. They also require much closer monitoring and come with more risks than natural labour (more likely to need interventions/C-section). Most women will labour at home until baby is imminent whereas with induction you could take a bed for days and need 1-2-1 midwife care in labour so it'd be more staff and resource intensive.
I think part of the issue is that we use outdated data for what constitutes a big baby and growth scans are far more prevalent these days. We also have better monitoring and hospitals are targeted to reduce poor fetal outcome meaning they will err on the side of caution. Equally, if a lady does not particularly engage with midwife/pre-natal services they can't just be called in for induction so there would always be an underlying issue.
Induction will be based on clinical need so a baby that's stopped growing or a PPROM will have higher need compared to say, a large baby or an overdue lady where baby is not at risk and can be pushed back.
The hospital will know at any one time the due dates of the ladies registered to have their baby there, medical history etc so they should be able to staff plan using their data systems pretty well in advance.
At my hospital the month I gave birth to my first induction was 33.8% of labours. 48.9% were unassisted vaginal brth, 9.6% assisted, 21.8% ECS and 19.4% planned CS - 380 babies total. I think it's about 20% nationally

Anyway, just my thoughts, I find it all quite interesting x